After leaving my phone unlocked with my fanfiction open (smut I might add) and having my father read a part of it out loud, I am completely mortified. So after telling my best friend about this, (she laughed at this. so did I afterwards) I discussed what friends are for: to laugh at these moments with you and to make sure you don't so stupid things alone. So it came down to this thing I saw a couple years ago:

Your friend will be the one who bails you out of jail, your best friend will be the one next to you going "Damn we screwed up."

You can imagine where this is going; lyrics from the song Xscape by: Michael Jackson.

Xscape

Everywhere I turn, no matter where I look

The systems in control, it's all ran by the book

I've got to get away so I can free my mind,

Xscape is what I need,

Away from electric eyes

Well this fucking sucked; her blonde hair was in a rats nest, make-up running, high heels on the ground and muddy beyond repair. She didn't really mind, they weren't her favorite ones anyway. Her dress was rumpled and out of place. He too was a mess; hair sticking up in every which way, his tie hanging loose around his neck, fingers shaking, suit ripped slightly, a couple of buttons missing. He sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair; they sat in silence on the bed in the single cell. She glared over at him, emerald eyes piercing his soul.

"Well I'd say we screwed up love." he chuckled lightly trying to lighten up the mood. Earning himself another glare that shut that infuriating pirate of hers up. He awkwardly scratched the back of his ear, then played with the ring on his newly returned left hand.

"We? What about me Killian? I'm the sheriff! How do you think everyone back home will feel when we get back? I'm supposed to be a person enforcing the law, how can I do that if I end up in jail with you?"

"Would you rather be alone in a cell?" he muttered.

"So not funny Killian." she glared at him, bringing her hand to her face.

"Emma I look at it like this; we're together, we're okay, we've gotten out of worse situations darling. We'll be fine." he tells her wrapping his arm around her, drawing small circles on her right shoulder.

"I'm never listening to you again." she groaned leaning her head on his shoulder. It wasn't all his fault; they had been heading home from a restaurant and they were a little tipsy. So the horny newly weds that they were, they thought it would be brilliant to have a round in the bushes. Long story short; the got caught. The restaurant wasn't in Storybrooke, thank gods, cause that would be a long and embarrassing story to tell her parents.

"Never thought I'd see the inside of a jail cell again."

"Well my love, you have your dashing husband with you this time." he winked, placing a kiss to her head. She smiled weakly as she laced her fingers through his.

"Dashing is one word for you." she mumbled with a chuckle.

"Oi! What would you call me then?" he questioned raising an eyebrow as if challenging her to spill. Although they had been married for two months they still loved playing these cat and mouse games. They probably would for the rest of their lives.

"Infuriating for one." she scoffed, relinquishing his hand so she can fold her hands together and hold herself close. She was acting like a teenager with a crush, hell she felt like she was with her prom date and everything had gone wrong. She never had this as a teen, so her relationship with Killian made up for everything she missed out on. Make out session on the couch and being caught by her parents, making love in the back seat of the car fear of being caught. Just being free from everything.

"Anything else my love?" he nudged her playfully kissing her cheek.

"A devilishly handsome scoundrel."

"Bout bloody time you admit it." he said kissing her nose.

"Shut up pirate."

"Ah but I'm your pirate." he chuckled booping her nose, her nose scrunching at the contact.

"That you are, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Bloody hell, when are they going to let us out?" he hissed pushing on his knees, getting up and stumbling over to the door, "OI! Is anyone out there?!"

"Killian calm down, we're probably gonna have to spend the night."

"Fucking hell I am not spending a night with my wife in a cell. I'm going to get us out of this." he growls, which unfortunately turns her on. Now was not the time.

"Come on Killian relax." she pleaded cocking her head to the side, telling him to come sit back down.

"No Swan I will not relax."

"It's Jones now." she laughed leaning back on the bed. Killian's electric eyes meeting hers with awe, as if he were the luckiest man in the world. He sighs going down to his knees, placing his hands on her knees. They lean forward to place a slow kiss on each other's lips.

"I will never tire of you saying that love." he murmured as their lips parted.

"Move aside Mr. Jones, I'm getting us out of here." she huffed hoping up, removing a safety pin from her hair and begins picking the lock.

"Gods I love you." he groaned moving away so she could work on the lock, but knowing him he couldn't keep his hands off of her. He crouches down next to her, pushing her long blonde curls to the side. Softly kissing her neck, stubble scratching against her skin which only reminded her of another place his stubble has scratched her. Now was really not the time.

"Hon now is not the time."

"Sorry."

"No you're not." she scoffs rolling her eyes.

"You're right love, I'm not. It's not my fault I can't keep my hands off of you."

With Killian still kissing her neck, then down to her shoulder she finally manages to open the lock. Nearly falling over when the door creaks open. Killian gets up and scoops her up in his arms kissing her passionately.

"You're bloody brilliant, amazing."

"Now lets get out of here." she laughs when he puts her down, placing one last kiss on his lips.

"I couldn't agree more, shall we my love?" he asks offering his arm, she giggles looping her arm through his.

"Yes we shall. Lets go home."

So what'd you think? For those reading The Swan & The Scribe, I hit a massive wall and I apologize for the delay. Thank you all so much for the support, reviews, views in general hope to see you all soon! Hasta La Pasta!