I had to spend the night after the phone call in a cell. The worst part of it was the smell. I swear, last time I was in a cell it did not smell like this. It was like wet dog mixed with dead bodies. It wouldn't suprise me if there were dead bodies below my cell. Living dead bodies, waiting to eat me or have sex with me.

What? That's how it goes in the movies anyway. Plus who doesn't want to have sex with me.

I just sit at the cell door with me legs crossed Indian style, thinking. First off that's kind of racist for me to think that Indians had one particular way of sitting. Maybe they like sitting with their legs straight-out. Maybe, some white guy was scalping an Indian, and in the irony of it all he decided to name his sitting style based on the circumstances. Shit! I'm being prejudice again! Why does it have to be a guy doing the scalping, it could very well be a girl. We give birth and shit, why can't we scalp Indians. I was also thinking about how big of a douchebag that officer was when we slammed the door in my face, maybe if he was looking back at a big muscular man when he was about to slam the door he might have thought twice, but alas that was not the case. Assumptions are dangerous, and if there's anyone here that will get there ass kicked before I leave this building, it will be him... And that thought got me to thinking about why women look at each other the way we do, we look at each other's beast, legs, etc. Most men don't do that, or at least I don't think so... Example, "Hey dude, why can't I have that?"

"What?"

"A butt like that guy, it's perfect."

I don't know, just trying not to think about IT. The IT that got me here. I put my head between two of the iron bars that made the 50's styled jail door and sighed. And that was when somebody came by to unlock my door.

"Someone's here to see you."

"Ok." We walked down the cruddy jail hallway that was filled with mold and STD's. I always looked straight ahead, I looked so straight ahead that I don't even know if there were other jail cells in the hallway. The right turn that lead to the lobby was the only thing that registered in my mind. Who and what was going to bail me out... I could really use some fine wine about right now.

Walking into the lobby was like going into a different world. It was fairly pretty, the chairs, walls, and carpet each gave off a different color that contrasted well with the others. The lobby also, unlike the rest of the building, was actually clean. If you didn't know any better you would assume the place wasn't THAT bad. So I spit on the carpet when the guard turned his head. There was no one else in the room, but in the office in front of the lobby I could see the Secretary having a conversation with two invisible people because the freakin' wall got in the way. The nice, bright orange wall that was oh so deceiving.

So I was left to stand there looking like an idiot. So finally after a couple of awkward moments waiting, I finally saw the two people... Great, this is just my freaking luck.