A/N: Well it's been almost a year since my last update. I can't promise quick updates. I'm hoping for once every two weeks, but don't hold your breath. Please be patient I'm planning a wedding and I'm in college. love you!
Recap(since it's been so long): Charles has been drafted, and he and Esme have tried to conceive a child, specifically a male. Esme made an appointment at the hospital to see if she is pregnant. It is a rainy day, and the usual doctor is not there, so Carlisle examines her. He confirms her pregnancy while dazzling her.
IndiaIdania
Carlisle et Esme
Morning Light
La Lumière du Matin
Subchapter A
January 18, 2011
The First Trimestre
It was the second week of my pregnancy, and the Monday before Charles would leave. I had been instructed to pack my things and anything I had collected for the baby. Charles would be taking me to the train station tomorrow. It was safer for me to stay with his brother and sister-in-law than here on the farm by myself. After Charles left for Germany, I would have no more living ties to Columbus. I was a little nervous about moving in with people I had never met, but I was more affected by the thought that I would no longer be able to visit my parents' graves. I had a single rose bush planted between their graves that I tended to at least every other day after I left the hospital. Without my attention, the rose bush most likely wouldn't make it through the winter.
Charles had become a little more verbal. He was noticeably happier in the face of his impending deployment. Instead of only commenting on my food, he would make comments on how his son would expand the farm and how good of a worker he would be. He even talked about how as soon as he returned he would come to get us and we would travel back East to visit his family and introduce our son to his father and mother. I was relieved, and happy that he had seemingly dropped the notion of him not returning from the war.
By the evening, I was finished packing my two trunks. In one, I had my clothes and a tiny white embroidered dressing gown from Grace. There were light blue birds across the top with a barely there thread zigzag stitching on the hem. It was what I planned on dressing him in right after he was born. I was only two weeks, but I was more excited about this baby than I had been for anything in my life. In the other trunk, I had a few books, the nutrition pamphlet, and various items left from my parents. There was the cookbook my mother gave me for my wedding which held my favorite dishes from my childhood and up until I was married. Wrapped in a pillowcase I had cross-stitched for my mother when I was 6, was my father's watch, which no longer ticked and he had never used, but I remembered him allowing me to play with it while I sat on his lap when I was a little girl. It wasn't even real gold, but it was precious to me. There were freshly washed baby blankets that had belonged to me that I would soon wrap my own child in tightly. However, possibly the most precious items in my trunk were the only family picture my parents and I had ever had taken, and my mother and father's wedding rings. They were safely stored in a small lock box my mother had brought with her from Le Havre.
"Anne?" Charles called from the kitchen.
"Coming." I replied from my bedroom. I walked into the kitchen and found a funny faced Charles. I had never seen this expression from Charles, so I just waited for him to say something.
"Anne," he stalled for a brief moment. "I have a present for you and the baby, but I don't want you to see them until you are settled in White River." White River was the town where Charles' brother lived.
"Ok," I whispered. I wasn't sure what to expect. He was never indulgent. For Christmas and my birthday, he would give me money to go and pick something out for myself. I understood that I shouldn't give him gifts; it would only embarrass him. So, for Christmas and his birthday I just made sure to cook something special. That was the only kind of indulgence he would accept.
I was awoken by the sound of Charles starting the car. I shot up quickly. Oh, no! I'm late! I glanced at the clock on my armoire. It was still early, but I needed to start getting ready. We would be leaving within two hours, and I needed to cook breakfast for Charles. It would be the last time he would have a good meal before he left. He would probably eat at the diner in town until he left for Germany. Oh my…. I ran to the bathroom, and didn't even have time to close the door before I started vomiting.
"Anne!" Charles stood at the bathroom door, his face ashen. "Are you alright?"
"No," I rasped.
"What do you need me to do? Is the baby all right? Should I call the doctor? Are you going to be able to travel? What can I do? Is the baby ok?" That was the most I have ever heard him say in one day.
"The baby is probably fine. I just have morning sickness, and I think I'll still be able to travel." As long as I don't pass out on the bathroom floor… Charles nodded and walked away. I sat back on the floor, closed my eyes, and leaned my head back against the wall. My forehead was sweating, and my eyes and nose were running. My stomach was still uneasy, and my throat burned. Charles cleared his throat from the doorway. I opened my eyes slowly.
"Anne, I have some water for you." He stood there holding out a glass of water. I smiled faintly, but my stomach wouldn't allow me to get up just yet, and I felt weak. He must have understood, so he knelt down and passed the glass to me and produced a damp cloth. "This is for your head," his eyebrows were furrowed and he looked anxious. How thoughtful.
"Thank you, Charles." I placed the damp cloth over my eyes and took a long drink of the water. My throat felt better, and my stomach began to ease. I pushed the cloth up out my eyes a little. He was still squatting there beside me. Concern was flooding from his face. I don't even know why, but tears started to flow, and they weren't from throwing up.
"What's wrong, now? Are you hurting?"
"I'm ok, I just… I don't know."
"Ok, well," he paused and looked around. Then it looked like he registered that we were still in the bathroom on the floor. "Do you need me to help you up? You should probably lay down or something."
"No, I'm fine. I'll just go lie down for a few minutes on the couch." I stood up and so did Charles who held the door open for me while I walked past him. I could feel my head start to spin. My knee suddenly gave out, and I began to fall backwards. I was aware of Charles catching my arms roughly.
I woke up on the couch with a little bit of a headache, but my stomach was fine. Charles was standing up in the kitchen in front of the stove. What is he doing? I was vaguely aware of the hum of the gas stove. I think I smell something burning! "Dang it!" Charles exclaimed and dropped a frying pan.
"Charles, are you all right?" He whirred around; I think I may have startled him.
"Anne, oh good you're awake. I've just finished scrambling some eggs for you, but I burnt mine and dropped the pan." His cheeks reddened.
"It's alright; I'll make them. I'm feeling much better."
"Ok." He then proceeded to sit down at the table and wait for me to cook his eggs. After I cooked the eggs, I took my normal spot across from him at the kitchen table. Charles said Grace as usual, and we began to eat.
"I've already finished loading up your trunks, so if there's anything else you want to bring with you, let me know because we have to leave in about fifteen minutes. You slept for an hour."
"Oh, ok," I wasn't sure I was really ready to make this move. I didn't want to stay here alone with just the farmhands, but I wasn't ready to move in with people I didn't know, even if they were related to me.
After Charles had made sure, I was safely loaded onto the train, and settled into my seat I became nervous. What if Charles is killed in Germany? How will I support our baby? An attendant popped his head in to announce that the train would be departing in five minutes. Charles stood in the doorway of my cubicle and began to look at me funny.
"I will send word for you to come back to Columbus as soon as I return. If I don't, there is enough money to support you and the baby until he is old enough to take care of the farm himself. The bank assured me that I had enough to last for about seventeen years. That is, if you don't indulge the child, and you stay within a reasonable budget. I wouldn't want my boy to be spoilt."
"Yes, Charles."
"Well, I hope you have a nice ride. My brother will be waiting for you at the station in Ashland." Ashland? That sounds familiar.
"I thought he lived in White River."
"He does, but the station is in Ashland. White Water is too small of a town for there to be a train station."
"Ok, sorry, my head is just a little fuzzy."
"All aboard!" The conductor voice rang through the train cars. Charles leaned down, and so very awkwardly kissed me on the forehead. Why not? I wrapped my arms around his neck, and whispered, "Be safe."
"Take care of our baby." Then he was gone. I watched him walk off the train and stand to watch my train depart. He waved to me as the train loudly screeched and pulled away.
Charles brother was there to fetch me from the train station. His wife and little girl were with him. His name was Todd, his wife was named Priscilla, and his daughter was named Nancy. His wife was dressed in a light blue jacket, white pencil skirt, white wide brimmed hat with a light blue feather, white heels, and white gloves. She had shoulder length straight jet black hair, and red lips. She was very pretty, and her daughter looked like a mini version of her except that her shoes were flat, and she wore a white tea length coat. After giving me a good once over, she turned to her mother and whispered loudly "She's not fat. Why isn't she fat? You said she would have a baby in her tummy." I wasn't offended; she looked like she was five or six.
They lived in a light blue two-story house with two dorm windows in the front, and a beautiful white porch that from as much as I could see, wrapped around the entire house. I was later informed that there were also two dorm windows on the back side of the house. Todd had definitely done better for himself than Charles. The house was positioned on the top of a rolling hill and surrounded by gated pastures. Nancy took the initiative to sit right beside me on the car ride back to her home.
"My daddy raises horses. What does your daddy do?" she asked without any hesitation.
"My daddy is in heaven," I tried to explain gently expecting her to shy away, but she seemed unphazed and expectant and stared up at my face waiting for me to tell her what my daddy did. "He was a handy man," I replied simply. For some reason I couldn't remember exactly what he did before he lost his job and had to work odd jobs until he finally married me off. I could see Priscilla eyeing me from the front seat in the side rear view mirror.
"That's great, my daddy is that too," she smiled and took my arm in both of hers. "Will you be my friend Aunty Anne?"
"Of course, but please call me Aunt Esme. That's my real name. Anne is my middle name."
"Esme? Yes ma'am; that's pretty!"
"Thank you."
I was given one of the rooms on the second level facing the backyard right next to Nancy's room. She would often knock on my door, and "visit" me. The view from my window was very beautiful. There was a pond that had frozen over, and acres upon acres of snow covered trees and horses. I spent most of my time stitching outfits for our baby, and reading to Nancy. Priscilla assured that I could afford to buy the baby clothes from the stores in the city, but I preferred to make at least a few of them myself. Besides, Priscilla and Todd had a maid and a cook, so I wasn't needed for anything. Moreover, because I was pregnant, they wouldn't allow me to lift a finger. They were nice; Priscilla was a little distant, but she was never rude or unkind, but I thought it was a little ridiculous that I wasn't allowed to do any kind of work. Nancy went to school during the day, so there was really nothing for me to do but stitch.
After about a month an a half after Christmas, Nancy's schoolteacher eloped with her secret bow, and ran off to Europe, or at least that's what the rumors told. He was an African, so the whole town was scandalized. That day Priscilla ranted and raved about how her daughter had been under "that charity girl's" or "the hussy's" influence. She vowed never to send her daughter to a public school again, so naturally I took this opportunity to give myself something to do other than stitch - which I really wasn't good at anyway – and volunteered to teach Nancy myself. At first, Priscilla wouldn't hear of it because I was a guest, not a governess, and that they could afford a tutor until she could secure either a place at a boarding school or a governess for Nancy. At the mention of a boarding school, Nancy's face blanched, and her bottom lip began to tremble.
"I can tutor her at least for the rest of the school year. It won't be hard, and I'm aching for something to do other than stitch," I pleaded for Nancy's sake. She was only in her first year of schooling and in my opinion, too young to leave her family.
And so, I finally had something enjoyable to do besides stitch and gaze out of my window at the snow covered horse farm. Teaching Nancy wasn't much of a challenge, but I enjoyed it. Nancy was very inquisitive, and had a surprisingly good attention span for a six year old girl. I still experienced a little morning nausea, but Nancy, who was very experienced in the displeasure of tummy aches because she always had her hand in the cookie jar, would go outside and bring a cup of freshly fallen snow when I would have to lie down during our schooling sessions. Surprisingly the coldness helped tremendously. Priscilla mentioned that the morning sickness would probably go away at the end of my third month. I was about three months pregnant by this time, and I could tell that the nausea was gradually decreasing.
Now that we were in March, Todd began to get the young horses ready for auction in the April. Nancy was particularly excited about this spring because her father had promised to teach her how to ride, but on top of that, she could have one of the new colts that would be born in the spring. On March 20th, Nancy announced that today was Spring, and that her father had to teach her how to ride, and that he had to because he promised. However, after her father explained that it would be too muddy because of all the snow that had melted and that she would surely ruin her blue jacket, she halfheartedly agreed and continued to sulk for the rest of the day. The very next day, Todd left the house early in the morning on some urgent business to Ashland and said that he wouldn't be home until this evening. Since today was Saturday, I reluctantly went back to my sewing until Nancy came to show her new garden to me. Her "designated spot" of the garden was directly below my window and was about three feet long. Priscilla had cunningly positioned it between two rose of Sharon bushes so that if it didn't turn out well, the focus would be on the rose of Sharon bushes. Nancy had led me by the hand to a spot of plowed up earth.
"That's going to be a pretty garden, ma belle," I told her, though I couldn't tell where she had planted anything. She giggled.
"I haven't planted anything yet, Aunty!" Thank goodness. I hadn't wanted to see her face in a month when nothing had ever sprung up. "I want you to help me make my garden. Oh please, Aunty Esme!" she said clasping her little hands together.
"Of course I'll help you, Nancy! Do you have your seeds?"
"Yes, ma'am, they're right here!" She reached into her pocket and produced a little sack of seeds. "They're pink daylilies!" she said passing the tiny sack to me.
"I'm sure they'll be beautiful."
"I am so excited!" she exclaimed and clapped her hands.
"Well, let's get started." We got down on our hands and knees and I showed her how to make little holes to place the seeds in and then gently cover them up. When we finished planting all the seeds she exclaimed, "Ok, now let's watch them climb up through the dirt!"
"No, sweetheart, they're just baby flowers. We have to wait until they grow up."
Nancy sat back and pondered what I had just told her.
"Is that why it's called a flower bed?" What does that have to do with… She understood that I didn't understand what she was asking.
"You know, mommy says that even though I eat all my vegetables and drink all my milk that I have to go to sleep every night so that I can grow bigger because I only can grow when I'm still. And if I run around all the time my growing can't catch up with me, and I'll never be able to grow up and be a big girl, and I'll have to keep wearing the same old dresses and never get any new ones because I will still be the same size as the old ones." She paused to catch her breath. "So now the flowers have to sleep in their beds so that they can grow too and get their new petal dresses," she finished and looked up expectantly.
"Yes, I suppose so."
"Ok, I thought so," she agreed and took my hand again to go into the house so that we could clean ourselves up for supper.
We all sat around the dinner table waiting for Todd to come back from his important business in Ashland. Finally, we saw his headlights through the front windows. He seemed to be carrying a large package, so Nancy went to open the door for him. We all jumped at the sound of Nancy's scream. Priscilla ran from the table into the foyer. Nancy's arms were wrapped tightly around Todd's neck, and she planted a big kiss on his cheek.
"Oh thank you so much Daddy!" she exclaimed.
"Look, Mommy! Look, Aunty Esme! I have new leather riding boots and a riding coat and riding gloves! Look! Look! Look!"
She held up her new riding gear with a huge, beaming smile.
"I thought of waiting until your birthday in April, but since you were such a good girl for Aunty Esme and did all your lessons, I thought you shouldn't have to wait anymore," Todd explained to his bouncing daughter.
"Thank you so very much, Daddy!"
I smiled from the kitchen entryway. I couldn't wait for my baby to come.
A/N: I hope this chapter didn't bore you to death. Since it has been so long since I started this story my muse is a little distracted. However, I didn't want to just give up on it, maybe one of you haven't forgotten about my story. lol Oh, well, please let me know what you think. Again I apologize for any mistakes.
~IndiaIdania
P.S. I plan on doing two more chapters on her pregnancy: the second and third trimestre. I don't know about you, but after a year, I am missing Carlisle.