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Chapter 4

(Some days later)

Olivia was in the bathroom. She was sat on the edge of the bath. Her life seemed to be going like a rollercoaster that she just couldn't get off. To add to the ride there was something else going on with her, or rather not going on. She was late. She hadn't even noticed at first because she had been so stressed out and so confused with everything that was going on between her and Alex. They had seen Dr's who just kept referring Alex to someone else, so basically they were getting nowhere. Dr's were baffled by his condition.

She sat there're-reading the box of the pregnancy test that she had got. She kept re-reading it over and over, just to be sure, 'blue line means pregnant'. She looked back at the little stick, blue line. She was pregnant.

She wasn't sure how she felt, not even a little bit. She threw the test in the bin and decided to finish getting ready for work.

- - - - - -

In work, Olivia just kept to herself. She wanted to talk to people, she really did, but her heart felt heavy and every time she spoke she felt like she may burst into tears. She nearly had when Cragen had called her into his office to tell her that he was worried about her. She simply lied and told him she was feeling a little run down. She even humoured him by saying she'd think about the time off he offered her.

She was sat back in her chair watching everyone around her when a young looking woman, looking very similar to herself; dark hair, dark eyes, walked in. Figuring it was a victim, she stood up. "Can I help you?" she asked the confident but clearly lost woman.

"Yeah, I'm looking for an Olivia Benson."

Olivia stepped back a little, beginning to wonder who this woman was and why she was looking for her. "You found her." she said, kind of lost for words.

"My names Sophie, I really need to talk to you. I'm Alex's ex girlfriend." she told Olivia.

Olivia was suddenly even more intrigued. "Come on," she said, grabbing her jacket and leading Sophie back towards the lift.

- - - - - -

They had found the nearest coffee shop and Olivia didn't even care that she hadn't told anyone that she was leaving. She sat opposite Sophie who suddenly seemed rather nervous.

"So," Olivia began but Sophie quickly cut her off.

"Let's cut to the chase...I know by now you know about Alex's "condition"," she said even making the sign with her fingers, "you need to get out now. Finish him now." she said, clear as glass.

Olivia knew she was right, but she wanted to know more. "When...What...How..?"

"I started dating Alex about a year ago. I thought he was the greatest guy ever. Always cooking for me, singing to me, he kept the apartment clean as a whistle. He was perfect. Then after about a month of being with him I found about his illness, the one he said he couldn't control ..."

Suddenly Olivia had heard too much. Alex's condition had to be real, if it wasn't it meant she had become a victim and not because of something that someone couldn't control but because of something someone didn't want to control, something someone wanted to do her.

She felt sick, so sick she had to fight not to gag and throw up on the table. She needed air. She needed to get out of the coffee shop. She quickly pushed herself up and made her way to the doors. Sophie quickly followed after her.

Once outside, Olivia headed straight up the street walking fast. It was like her feet wouldn't stop even if she wanted them to. Sophie quickly chased after her. "Olivia, I know that I'm not telling you something that you don't already know deep down inside." Sophie said as she jumped in front of her, because it was the only way to stop her. "If you don't want to listen to me then fine, but just, please, next time he pins you down and forces himself into your body, look into his eyes... The son-of-a-bitch couldn't be more awake."

Olivia looked at Sophie, willing herself not to cry. Sophie inhaled then exhaled loudly. "I just hope you realise before it's too late." she said before walking off, leaving Olivia standing by herself in the street. She had no idea that she was actually far from being alone.

- - - - - -

Olivia was sat in the bull pen when Elliot walked in. "What happened to you before?" he asked.

"I met a...an old friend." she lied. She felt like that was all she was doing recently, lying to everyone, to herself especially.

"Everything okay?" he asked. He didn't want her to feel like he was interrogating her but she was quiet, too quiet and he was worried about her.

She thought about it for a moment before she said, "I'm pregnant." Tears had filed her eyes as she spoke, as she looked up to meet his eyes with her own.

Elliot was in complete shock but just about managed to say, "Con...Congratulations" he said, having to clear his throat.

Olivia looked at him. She appreciated his answer but it wasn't what she wanted to hear. She got up and slowly put her jacket on.

"What is it you want me to say, Olivia?" he said, sensing she was angry.

Olivia didn't answer him. She hated the way he could almost read her mind. "Night El," was all she said before walking out.

Elliot watched her leave before he slumped down into the chair at his desk, confused and not knowing what to say if he chased after her.

- - - - - -

When Olivia had got home she had found the apartment empty. She had jumped into a hot bubble bath and tried to wash away what she was feeling. She had then climbed out and put on a pair of jeans and a white tank top but had also thrown a big woollen sweater on, mainly because she wanted to hide her tummy, even if it was still flat as ever. She didn't feel like putting pyjama's on because then it meant she would be ready for bed and the truth was she didn't care if she never went to bed again. She hated the sight of the damn bed so she sure as hell never wanted to go anywhere near it again.

She'd just got comfy on the couch when she heard the key turn in the door. She closed her eyes and braced herself. She listened as the door swung open. She waited for Alex to call out to her like usual but it never came. She turned to face the door just as Alex shut it behind him.

"Hey," she said, forcing a smile.

Alex looked at her, almost glaring at her, in total silence. Then he smiled and walked towards the couch where she was sat.

"You have a nice day?" he asked her.

"Just like any other day." Olivia answered.

Alex strode towards her. He was acting weird. Her heart began to pound uncontrollably. She could smell the stench of alcohol on him even with the distance that was between them.

"See anyone?" he asked her, stopping as he stood right in front of her, in front of the couch.

Olivia looked at him. He never questioned her like this. Then it hit her...he knew, about Sophie.

She quickly stood up, desperate to change the subject. "Are you hungry? I was thinking of doing some garlic chicken or something..?" she said as she walked towards the kitchen.

However, she never made it into the kitchen...

TBC

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Sorry about the cliff-hanger but be prepared for more. I'm an addict to them.

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