Chapter: Four; In Which Leonard Confronts The Immediate Aftermath of the Afternoon's Revelations

Universe: Star Trek 2009

Leonard barely made it back to his office before his knees gave out. He locked the door, dropped into his chair and scrubbed his hands through his hair, elbows digging into his knees. He didn't even know where to start with how bad the revelations of the last half hour really were. He vaguely wondered if he was in some form of shock, because, instead of the panic that he was certain he should be feeling, he was just numb.

The mystery man that Jim had only recently stopped teasing him about was none other than Pavel Andreievich Chekov. Leonard had not only slept wi - no, that was the wrong euphemism. Leonard had not only fucked a member of the crew, he'd roughly fucked the youngest member of the crew. He'd fucked a teenager. And he'd been fantasizing, dreaming about, and masturbating to thoughts of said nineteen-year-old ever since.

Leonard groaned. He felt like such a dirty old pervert. He hadn't recognized his body - that sounded horrible even in his thoughts - because he hadn't done the duty fitness physical on the then-ensign. Chekov had been assigned already to serve under Pike and so it'd been Puri who'd checked him over and M'Benga had somehow gotten him when they'd split up the crew for regular physician's visits.

But ultimately, it came down to the fact that he'd picked Chekov up in a bar and - Or wait. Had he picked up Chekov? Or had Chekov picked up him? Which brought up the question: had Chekov done something like that before? And there was the panic that had been missing.

Did Chekov do that sort of thing regularly? No, he couldn't. He wouldn't.

Would he? Leonard couldn't really say that he knew anymore. He and Chekov had never been close but he thought he'd had a good enough read on him to think that he wouldn't risk his health by picking up strangers in a bar.

But then again, after what he'd learned today, he couldn't really say that he knew the kid well enough to guess his behavior. So Chekov might do this every shore leave. That thought made him feel sick. He ignored the small voice in his head that told him that it wasn't the medical implications of Chekov's potential string of lovers that bothered him. Instead he focused on the possible physical repercussions of Chekov's unknown actions. Both of Leonard's STI panels had come back clean, but how often did Chekov get screened? Such behavior would put him at a high risk of - But no. That little voice in his head couldn't be quieted when it screamed out how unfair he was being to the young man by following that train of thought. Leonard couldn't possibly know what Chekov was thinking or how he usually behaved. And that thought bothered him more than it should.

Fuck. His day couldn't possibly get worse.

Then the door slid open and Jim stepped in. And Leonard decided that God did exist. He was just a cold-hearted, twisted, sadistic bastard.

"Bones...? Everything okay...?" Jim was inching toward him, hands slightly out to the side, cautious expression on his face, like he was trying to talk Leonard down off of the roof of a very tall building.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Screw propriety. He'd had a bad day.

Jim eased his way into one of the visitor chairs. "Christine said that you haven't been answering her comms or the door chime for over an hour and a half. She was getting worried."

"...And so she called you?"

"Well, only two people can legitimately override the CMO's privacy code." Jim's face changed from cautious to skeptical. "Would you have preferred Spock?" Maybe. At least Spock would accept a vague response without needling him for the full story. "Seriously, Bones. What's going on?" Well, look at that. His friend was even willing to skip the bullshit answer and go straight to the needling. What a great guy. Leonard couldn't stop the sigh that escaped as he slumped back into his chair.

"I need to know if I'm talkin' to the captain or my best friend." Jim tilted his head in a manner that was remarkably similar to the RCA Victor dog from those old Earth ads.

"Is this something that the captain should know, but you don't want to tell him?" Leonard reflexively ran his hand through his hair again.

"No. It's none of the captain's goddamned business." Jim relaxed back into his seat and smiled.

"Good, 'cause I already have enough paperwork to do. So, tell your best buddy what happened." Damn, Leonard really wanted to smack him sometimes. But Jim was going to find out at some point so he might as well get it out of the way when his day already sucked. He sighed again.

"It was Chekov." Jim tilted his head again, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What was Chekov?" Fuck my life.

"The guy at the club. It was Chekov." Jim sat up, an unidentifiable look on his face.

"Let me get this straight. You fucked Chekov." Leonard responded with a sound that was more of a groan and less of the yes that it was intended to be as he finally gave in and let his forehead hit his desk.

"The guy I've been teasing about getting laid by some sexy beast of a man over shore leave?" Another groaned yes. "So the sexy beast was you?" Another groan that this time didn't even come close to the word yes.

"I'm gonna have to talk to him now." Jim's voice had turned whiny, like it did when Leonard yelled at him for something that he either didn't want to do or didn't think was his fault. "Maybe even apologize, damn it!" Leonard brought his head up from his desk to glare at his so-called best friend.

"Could you please be a little more freaked out about this?" Jim leaned back in his seat again.

"Why bother? You're more than freaked out enough for the both of us." He looked smug, a smile coming onto his face. Leonard really wanted to hit him. "Besides, ultimately, I was right." Wait-

"What?"

"Well, I was teasing Chekov about how this guy must've damn special - which you are, whether you believe me or not - to have snagged a catch like him." The jackass was ticking his points off on his fingers! "And I've been teasing you about how your mystery man must've been smokin' hot - which, whether you like it or not, Chekov totally is. So, I was right. And how is this a bad thing? Me being right is never a bad thing!" Well, at least Jim had succeeded in getting rid of Leonard's panic. Now he was just incredulous! Jim had to be joking! How could he not see how bad this was? How could he not get why this was a problem?

"He's nineteen!"

"So? According to the Russian government and the Federation, he's been legal for two years! I don't get why you're so upset by this."

"You don't -" Leonard just couldn't wrap his brain around how ridiculous that was. His friend seriously couldn't see why this bothered him? "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? He's a kid!" Thank the God that Leonard had earlier decided was a sadist for soundproof office walls. He did not want this conversation overheard and his voice was well above his normal speaking volume. Jim's soon would be too, if the annoyed look on his face was anything to go by. Which it was, because Leonard knew the man far better than he occasionally wanted to.

"Damn it, Bones!" Yep, raised voices all around. "He's not a 'kid'! He's the Chief Navigation Officer on the Federation's flagship! He's also one of our best Tactical Officers! That means he fires the - "

"Dammit, Jim! I know what that means!" Leonard yelled, slamming his hands down on his desk for emphasis. Jim was sitting on the edge of his seat at this point, looking like he was ready to go ten rounds to defend Chekov. For the life of him, Leonard couldn't figure out why Jim was so pissed off about this.

"If he's old enough to kill people and endanger his own life, then he's old enough to get laid! He saved my life! More than once! So get the fuck over yourself! If he seems fine with it, why aren't you?" Leonard scoffed.

"Nice how you put the killing before saving your lif-" Wrong thing to say.

"Don't try to change the subject!" Jim knew him too well to let him deflect like that and Leonard should've known that. Hell, Jim was even more skilled at that than he was. "Now what is your real problem with this? Is it his age, or is it really about Joanna?" Oh hell no.

"Don't try to analyze me, Jim!" Jim's posture relaxed, draping himself back in his chair and crossing his legs, giving Leonard a look of disdain.

"Oh please, Bones, you do it to me all the time!" His blue eyes sharpened as he stared intently at Leonard. "So it is Joanna then?" Leonard deflated. Jim was not bringing her into this. It'd be bad enough trying to look her in the face during their next vid call after having sex with a guy only eight years older than her - and one that he was pretty sure she had a crush on to boot. He let out a heavy sigh and sat back in his own seat. He was way too young to feel this old.

"...I'm old enough to be his father." Jesus, that sounded even worse when he said it out loud. "You don't see something wrong with that?" Jim scoffed, but kept his serious expression.

"No. But, then again, I don't have a father."

"Jim-" The blond apparently wasn't going to let Leonard even touch that subject right now.

"Bones, I'm going to say this once, so listen up." Leonard found himself straightening and paying attention in spite of himself. This was one of the qualities that made the man such a good captain - the ability to command attention. "There's nothing wrong with the age difference. He's old enough to know what he wants and he's smart enough to know what he's getting into. As far as I know, he doesn't have any daddy issues, and I know that you don't want me to say this, but I don't think you have to worry about Joanna having any either."

Leonard appreciated Jim trying to comfort him by saying those things. He really did. But this wasn't about Joanna. It wasn't about him worrying that without her father's influence Joanna would end up with low self-confidence and find herself in the arms of an older man, trying to fill the void left by her absent father. Though the very idea made him twitch, he didn't really worry about that. She was a smart girl, she knew how much he loved her, and Jocelyn, however badly his relationship with her had ended, was a good mother. He wasn't even really worried that it was transference on Chekov's part. There had never been anything in his behavior to suggest that, just as there hadn't been anything to suggest that he wanted anything more than a quick fuck, as far as Leonard could tell. No, this was about an innocent - well, not so innocent actually - brilliant kid with a bright future in Starfleet getting mixed up with an old, crotchety divorcé with aviophobia and a drinking problem. It was about Chekov deserving better. Leonard just had no idea why Chekov had approached him. No mask was going to hide who he was to anyone who had met him, which meant...

"...He knew who I was the whole time..." Shit, Leonard just didn't want to think anymore. "I just don't get it." Jim let out a sigh and leveled him with a look of fond exasperation.

"Look, just because you don't see yourself as a good catch, doesn't mean you're not. And I don't have time to talk about your shitty self-image right now - " Leonard couldn't keep himself from snorting. Pot and kettle, Jim. " - because I'm supposed to call Pike in five minutes. Just know this, you're one of the few people on this ship that I wouldn't beat the shit out of for screwing around with my navigator." Screwing around? Jesus, Jim, it was the one time! Jim stood from his chair and shrugged. "I don't see what the big deal is anyway. It was a one-night-stand. You can't change the past so just don't let it happen again, if it freaks you out this much."

Leonard thought about that after Jim left. Sure, that was easy for Jim to say. He didn't know what had been going on in Leonard's head ever since that night - and how guilty he felt about it now that he knew who the focus of his thoughts, dreams and fantasies had been. But even as he thought about how easy it would be to follow Jim's advice of not letting "it" happen again, he couldn't completely convince himself that he didn't want to have that man - to have Chekov - in that way again. And that bothered him more than he wanted to admit.

A/N: Please take the time to review! Love it or hate it, it helps me to know what people are thinking!