Answer 1: Let's just say, the force is not with him!
Answer 2: I seriously doubt that (but it would surely be funny)
Disclaimer: Let's have a look... do I own Evangelion, it's characters and the United States? I think, I would have heard about. Could belong to Gainax... partly
"Don't eat fluid soap" This is in speech (means, what people say when they have their mouths open to communicate!)
'It tastes real yucky' This is in thought (means, what people think of you, but won't tell you)
-:It isn't working:- Phone stuff, talks and things over phone… yeah, P-H-O-N-E
Pant pant This is what people actually do, in mid sentence.
-\-\-\-\-\-\- flashback -\-\-\-\-\-\- This is the start of a flashback
-/-/-/-/-/-/- flashback end -/-/-/-/-/-/- End of a flashback.
!(A/N:Strawberries with cream are to DIE for!)! This is just your authors daily craving.
Chapter Four: School's Out
Shinji had fallen asleep on his desk. He was on his tropical island. Almost alone and at peace. There was a turtle on the beach.
"Shinji, wake up!" the turtle said. Shinji smiled and took a closer look. The turtle was wearing glasses?
"Shinji, come on. We have to go."
"To where? The ocean?" Shinji asked druggy-happy.
"No, out of class!" Shinji was surprised. What was this turtle talking about? Then he wondered:
'A talking turtle?' he looked even closer and noticed that the turtle was looking like Kensuke Aida, one of his best friends. The voice was his as well.
"Kensuke?" Shinji slowly opened his eyes. The turtle transformed into his friend. The island vanished and the classroom shaped.
"Shinji, you made us worry. I thought we'd lost you!" Shinji took a look around.
"What time is it?"
"It's our last ten minutes break for this day!"
"Another break???" Shinji wasn't really looking forward to this break... His personal balls-cooling ice pack had melted away already.
"Yeah, then one more lesson and we are free!" Kensuke seemed to be happy, even more than usual.
"Alright, let's go." Shinji wasn't as happy, what was more like the usual thing.
They walked down the hallway to pick up some food.
!(AN: I've learned, that Japanese do have one recess and a ten minute break after each lesson. IF they are allowed to leave class or not during those ten minutes, I do not know. And I pretty much think, no one of us will care, ne?)!
There they were. Sitting in the cafeteria and eating Hot-Dogs. Everyone except Shinji. He still had a lot of Hot-Dog on his shirt and even though he was very hungry, he just didn't feel like eating.
"Hey Shinji, what exactly happened to you?" Toji asked. Shinji could see, that everyone was curious about his accident.
"You know, I went to the toilet..." Shinji gave them all a nice summary.
"...then she gave me that ice pack and I was heading back to class." Shinji felt strange. Could be the hunger; or one of his foreboding stomach feelings. As he looked up he noticed, that everyone was staring at him, their mouths wide open.
"What is it? Not enough yet?"
"Are you serious, that the nurse, OUR nurse, put gel on your wound?" one of the no name classmates asked.
!(AN: I didn't go into detail so far, but that nurse is looking damn hot. A real beauty! Could compete with Asuka!)!
"Sure she did." Shinji said bored and moved a little; his private parts were still in a little pain.
"Wait a second, I believe there is a misunderstanding." Toji said, his voice full of anticipation "Shinji, the nurse did not treat your wound with her hand, did she?" Toji said smilingly.
"Of course she did! What do you think? She did it with her mouth, or what?" Shinji really didn't notice what everybody was thinking about. Everyone of his class was listening now. Even the girls. EVEN Rei! One of the girls raised her fist slowly...
"Shinji, I doubt, you know what you are talking about." Kensuke said, coming closer "You mean, the nurse put that gel into her hand" Kensuke pointed one finger one his other hand "and then she treated your wound... like THAT???" Kensuke moved his hand in a way, that everybody should know; especially male readers.
"She-" Shinji realized now. He slapped his hand on his mouth. "Jesus... That's why she was smiling all the time." For one of his listeners, that last statement was simply too much.
"BAKA HENTAI!" he could hear someone scream from behind. It was Asuka.
Asuka wanted to give him a real painful kick in the butt, BUT, Shinji wanted to face her. So, he turned around. Unfortunately his butt was now on the backside and his little friend was in the line of fire.
The whole scene froze, as Asuka's foot impacted with Shinji crotch. Asuka should think about a career as a kicker in a football team. She lifted Shinji one foot into the air.
As Shinji came back to the ground, he immediately went down on his knees. His hands were covering his broken part. All colour of his face faded away. He was as white as a sheet of paper. His eyes were wide. Everyone, except Asuka, was making a grimace of pain and they all pitied Shinji.
Shinji inhaled. It sounded like a starting jet. After some seconds, he tipped forward and his forehead made some encounter with the ground. Shinji, only touching the ground with his forehead and both his knees (his feet up in the air), was not moving anymore. No one could tell, if he was still breathing or not. Looked funny; Shinji the dead, scene two take one.
"That should teach you!" Asuka stated, turned around and left. Kensuke Aida was not sure if he daydreamed or something, but for the instant of a moment, he was convinced to see guilt in Asuka's eyes. (Could also have been some dirt on his glasses...)
Shinji Ikari however did not see that. He wasn't seeing anything; everything was black. The whole scene wasn't moving for a minute. Then, Toji Suzuhara, took the initiative.
"Kensuke, lend me a hand. We'll bring him up to the nurse. Let's hope she has another ice pack left. Or any other way to… revitalize him"
So, Toji and Kensuke were carrying him away, like a statue.
---Nurse Office---
The nurse was checking her supplies, as the door swung open. "What can I... Oh, it's you again, how can I help you?" she asked nicely and smiling.
"I somehow doubt, that you can shoot me now, so, another ice pack will do it." Shinji said in the highest voice, any human has ever heard.
"Um, yeah, sure..." she looked for the ice pack. "Say, what has happened?"
"He had some rough encounter with a foot." Toji said simply. All three boys winced as they remembered the scene.
"Oh, here you go" she handed Shinji another ice pack "and take that gel with you, it will help. Be careful and have a nice day."
Shinji was now walking by himself. His walk looked more like the one of a duck, but he was walking.
"You know, perhaps you should ask Major Katsuragi to bring you home?" Toji suggested, emphasizing the should part.
"I doubt she would do that" 'Not after I told her, she would have to overcome the morning without beer...'
"Relax, last period is history, you can sleep there."
"Oh that's the best idea I heard today..."
They entered the classroom. Shinji, who tried not to look too fucked up, heard several whispers.
"...The immortal..."
"...balls of steel..."
"...the nurse..."
Shinji had to smile inwards. They thought he was something special, perhaps some kind of half-god. In fact, he was just the guy with the pain between his legs. After they were all seated, Shinji got another chat invitation...
THE-GUY-IN-AGONY has joined the conversation.
SCHOOL-SOLDIER: Hey, you really want no ice?
THE-GUY-IN-AGONY: I don't think so...
TOUGH-BOY: So, you're going home after school?
THE-GUY-IN-AGONY: No, I will take the train.
SCHOOL-SOLDIER: You know that is a big detour?
THE-GUY-IN-AGONY: Yep, but it's safer than walking.
TOUGH-BOY: Are you really sure about that?
THE-GUY-IN-AGONY: Yes, nothing can happen to me there.
Shinji shut down his laptop and laid his head on the desk.
THE-GUY-IN-AGONY has left the conversation.
SCHOOL-SOLDIER: Hey, do you doubt that Shinji will come home unharmed as well?
THE-CLASS-REP has joined the conversation
THE-CLASS-REP: I told you many times not to use this message system!
TOUGH-BOY: Hey class rep, we are in the middle of a bet. Will Shinji come home unharmed? He's taking the train.
THE-CLASS-REP: ...The train stops pretty near to his place... Yes, he will.
TOUGH-BOY: And the bet will be...
----------------------------
What will be this suspicious bet? Will Shinji come home unharmed? Why won't my friends stop partying???
The next chapter? You'll have to wait until I am back from partying. PLUS the time, I need to get sober!