Hailee walked into her apartment. She had to climb two flights of stairs. Limping to the bathroom she noticed the streaks of blood between her legs. She felt disgusted with herself. Taking off her dress she threw it into the bin, she wanted it to be thrown away. Turning on the water she washed it all off. She felt sickened with her body. The blood and dried cum washed down the drain. Leaving her feeling tired, and useless.
Climbing out she changed into sleeping clothes. Checking her phone, she had received a message from Hux.
-I am terminating the relationship.
-I'm sorry. Please don't leave me.
-You have broken my trust by calling.
-It was an accident. I swear. I'll never do it again.
-No. Do not contact me.
With that she turned off her phone. Crying herself to sleep.
The next morning she felt numb. All night she dreamt of dying, tossing and turning, reliving the moment of defilement. She just wanted it to end.
...
Rey immediately noticed the change in her friend. Hailee had stopped eating. She barely drank enough water to not pass out.
"Hailee, are you ok?"
"Could be worse" she tried joking.
"Hey, I know this doctor. He should help. I want you to give him a call."
"I'm fine. I promise."
"What happened?" Rey asked.
"Hux cut me off. It's fine, I've sold some things he's given me. So I can make rent, but it hurts you know?"
"Yeah. Just tell me if you need that docs number. Ok?"
"I will."
"Thank you. Get some rest." Rey squeezed Hailees shoulder and continued on her way.
...
Hailee stared at her reflection, she barely recognized herself anymore. The bags under her eyes practically swallowed her eyes. She needed a change, she needed something different. Grabbing a pair of scissors she started chopping off her hair. when she thought it was short enough she tried evening it out. The new haircut made her look sadder. Taking a shower she washed it out. Drying it with a towel she took another look.
This wasn't her, who was she anymore?
"I guess I have to live with it." She muttered to herself. She didn't really care what she looked like at this point. She just couldn't stand herself, her own skin.
...
Hailee decided to finish up the semester then figure out what to do. Kaplan acted as if she wasn't even in the room. She could've sworn he smirked when she walked into class, looking like crap.
Every day felt like hell, then slowly she felt nothing.
Everything felt numb. No dreams. She rarely ate, only when someone was watching, or if they forced her to. She had even sold more of Hux's gifts. She was running low on things to sell. Kaplan didn't make anymore advances on her. She rolled out of bed each morning and went to class. When coming home she avoided sleep and studied all the time. No social life, no outside contact. If they didn't see her in class they would've assumed she died.
3 months passed. Her first suicidal thought entered her head. She laughed at the idea, and ignored it. Soon they were always there. The thoughts have only became worse. They were getting harder to ignore. Always giving her new plans. New ways she could do it. End it all. She didn't. Hailee just focused on school.
...
Hailee was turning in an assignment online when she glanced at the pair of scissors she used to cut off all her hair. She wanted to feel something.
Grabbing it she placed it against her skin, but she couldn't bring it in herself to dig it in, and cut herself. She willed herself, but nothing happened. Screaming she threw it across the room. It hit the wall and fell to the floor. "What was the point?" She thought. "nothing is worth it anymore."
To put it simply, she became a shell.
...
After finishing her last test of the semester she was free for summer break. Hailee decided to text Rey, asking if her if she still had that one doctors number.
-Do you still have that doctors number. I need help Rey.
She checked her phone 30 minutes later and realized she sent it to the wrong person. She accidentally asked Hux.
-I'm sorry. Please ignore that.
She didn't know if he read it she didn't want to risk it.
Hours passed. It was getting close to midnight. She was tossing and turning. She couldn't fall asleep.
Something in her snapped. Grabbing her keys and wallet she went to Walmart. Sleeping pills, and vodka. To make sure they didn't worry about her she grabbed some bread. Checking out, the cashier smiled at her. Hailee forced a smiled back. Using her charge card from Hux, she didn't care if he cancelled it. It went through anyway.
"Have a nice night." The cashier said to her.
"Thanks." Hailee nodded. Walking out the store, she handed the bread to a homeless man on her way back to her apartment.
Kicking open the front door she ran a bath. Scalding hot. Sitting in it with all her clothes still on she opened the bottle of pills and vodka. Drinking half the bottle of each and leaned back in the water. Her eyes closing gently, she fell asleep.