Summary: What if Hawke went to Tevinter instead of Kirkwall? What if he became a powerful magister without ever resorting to blood magic? What if he met Danarius and thus Fenris as well? How would things have turned out for them? Read and find out. AU, to the best of my abilities. Hawke x Fenris.
Warnings: LOTS of bashing on Danarius and Hadriana but who cares! Rated M for strong language and some adult themes for the later chapters. There will also be some OOC, mostly from Fenris.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC's! If I did, the world would end. Flames will be used to burn the corpses of Danarius and Hadriana… or cook marshmallows for s'mores. Either one I fill the need to burn. Creative criticism is accepted.
Chapter 4: A letter from Kirkwall
Three weeks have passed since Danarius was killed and Fenris was enjoying himself at Kilian's estate. The Imperial Archon had granted Kilian his winnings and together with Fenris, they burned down the old estate after looting it thoroughly of anything of value and after transferring all the gold from the treasury into the Hawke estate. The ex-slave never felt so exhilarated before as he had felt when burning down the place he has hated for as long as he can remember.
He enjoyed the time he spent at Kilian's home. The stories Kavia and Tilley told him about their youth and the places they visited fascinated him. Kilian took it upon himself to teach him how to read and write, so that if he ever decides he wishes to leave, he can do so without having to worry about things when it comes to papers being read and signed. Reading came a bit easier to him than they thought and he was quickly progressing through the books Kilian had collected. Fenris' writing, however, left much to be desired. It was a bit legible but Kilian could only compare it to chicken scratch, and that earned him a punch to the face and a very angry elf. It took a bit of coaxing and some funny begging for Fenris to let Kilian start teaching him again.
Fenris had finally gained his own room and his own wardrobe along with nice, seasonal clothing, simple every day clothing and pajamas ranging from simplicity to elegant. He felt a bit spoiled but wouldn't let Kilian know that. On certain nights, when Fenris couldn't sleep well in his own bed, he would sneak to Kilian's room and would crawl into bed with him. He had realized that whenever Kilian was sound asleep, he was an extreme cuddler, instantly latching onto Fenris and nuzzling either his back or chest. On other nights though, nights when Kilian stayed up longer than he was suppose to, he would welcome Fenris with a smile and tuck him into the bed and wishing him pleasant dreams of maiming blood mages.
Fenris couldn't help but think that Kilian was sometimes internally torturing himself whenever he would talk about his life in Ferelden. He would grow sullen, sometimes ending the conversation abruptly and saying he had something to do then disappearing in the gardens. Fenris desperately wanted to ask him but felt that the mage would tell him when he was ready. For now, he would wait as patiently as he could for the day when Kilian tells him everything.
$%$%$%$%
It was a bright day in Minrathous when the letters came for Kilian. Gale had happily accepted them and walked with Orana, the servant girl that let them into Danarius' state, towards the garden. They spotted Kilian and Fenris sitting under the willow tree that was growing in the garden, reading one of the books Kilian was using to teach Fenris.
"Master Kilian, you have two letters." Gale states, walking up to him and hands him the letters.
"Thanks, Gale." Kilian smiled, taking the letters. "Care to join Fenris and I for some light reading? You are invited too, Orana. Don't think I can't see you there by the pink lilies."
The poor young elf girl jumped a bit and looked at Kilian's smiling face. She instantly relaxed when she saw him smiling more at her. She was still adjusting to her new life at Hawke's estate and living with more freedoms than she had before. Walking over and sitting next to Gale, she nodded. "I would like to hear the story as well, please."
"Alright. Gale, I'm sure you recognize this story. It's called 'Black Vow'*." Kilian states, showing both elves the simple black book with gold writing and outlining a feather and an apple. Gale instantly starting bouncing a bit at the sight of his favorite story. Smiling, Kilian handed the book to Fenris. "Care to read to them a bit while I take a quick look at these letters, Fenris?"
"Alright." Fenris replies, taking the offered book from the mage and opening it to the first chapter.
Kilian moved away from the trio so he could read the letters a bit more privately. He had forgotten to send his mother his monthly letter, even though the woman never wrote back, she was still his mother and he deeply cared for her well being. Opening the first letter, he wasn't the least bit surprised to see Aveline's handwriting, telling him about how her life in the guard is doing. He smiled when he saw that, through letter, she was complaining to him about how her captain runs things. They may not have known one another long but it was good to see that she considered him her friend. He finished reading her letter and moved on to the second letter and stopped cold when he saw his mother's neat handwriting on the envelope. He was shocked that his senses were dulled a bit and he didn't here the trio of elves calling out to him until Fenris threw a rock at him, nailing him in the back of the head.
"Ow! Abuse again!" Kilian complained, turning to the elves. "What's up?"
"You did not respond when we started calling out for you, master." Orana says, going over to Kilian and checking his head. "Are you ill?"
"Oh. Sorry guys. No, I'm alright. Just got a letter from my mother." Kilian explains, letting Orana do her thing.
"And that is odd?" Fenris asked, sounding slightly annoyed at the mage.
"Master Kilian hasn't received a letter from his mother since he came to Tevinter." Gale explains to Fenris, looking at him to try and make him understand. "He sends her a letter every month to keep her updated on what is happening to him."
"But I forgot to send one this month." Kilian replies sheepishly, scratching at his stubble jaw.
"I guess we can wait till after you read the letter to start the story." Fenris says, closing the book. "Gale keeps going on about visuals."
Kilian rolled at a blushing Gale, already having figured that the young man wanted the mage to create the shadowed visuals for the story like he usually did when he read the story. Chuckling, he folded the letter and took his seat back at the tree.
"It can wait until later. For now, we have a story to read." Kilian said, smiling and summoning his magic. "Shall we?"
$%$%$%$%
It was nighttime when Kilian read the letter from his mother. He had been putting it off because he couldn't face the fact that his mother had forgotten about him this entire time. He understood that she was upset when Bethany died, they all were, but she didn't need to blame him for his sister's death. He wasn't even close to the two of them when the ogre attacked! Sighing, he opened the letter and read it over in the light of the fire. His mother talked about how she finally got the nerve to read all of his letters and how his dear brother Carver had to sell himself into indentured servitude for the year to pay off their uncle's debt to the mercenaries that just ended today now he is still looking for more work.
Kilian read more of the letter and then got to the end of it and stopped dead in his tracks. He jumped a bit at hearing the door to his room open and looked, seeing Fenris dressed in simple white cotton pajamas.
"Oh, Fenris." Kilian sighs, smiling at the white haired elf. "Need anything or are you having trouble sleeping again?"
"You seemed troubled since you had gotten that letter today. I was wondering if you wanted to talk." Fenris replies, walking up to the man and looks up into his silver eyes with his own green ones.
"Thank you for wanting to talk to me, Fenris. I'm alright." Kilian lies, putting his happy mask back into place. Fenris saw right through it and lightly smacked him in the back of the head the way Tilley taught him. "Ah! What is this? Abuse Kilian day?"
"Festis bei umo canavarum*…" Fenris muttered, rolling his eyes at the man. "Tell me what is wrong and don't try to hide it. I will send for Tilley and Kavia if you don't tell me."
"You evil elf…" Kilian mock glared at the elf before looking down at the letter, suddenly growling. "My… mother finally read all of the letters I sent to her and Carver over the past year and she finally decided to write me back. An entire year, Fenris, not a single word until now and the she even makes a request!"
Fenris was surprised to see the mage lose his cool when talking about his mother when before he would talk about her like she was a saint. Stealing himself, he placed both hands on Kilian's face and made him look at his face. "What is the request, Hawke?"
Calming down once he looked at the elf's face, he took one of the hands into his free hand and breathed. "She wants me to visit her and Carver in Kirkwall to catch up. She even wants me to meet my uncle."
"And that is bad?" Fenris questioned, raising an eyebrow.
"The man pretty much sold my little brother into indentured servitude for a year to get him, mother and Aveline into the bloody city." Kilian explains.
"I understand you are upset but maybe she wants to catch up and get back the time you were separated." Fenris explained, trying to drill what he was saying into Kilian's head.
Smiling at last, Kilian kissed the palm of Fenris' hand while looking at him, seeing the elf blush at the action. "Well then, care to go to Kirkwall with me, my sweet wolf?"
And done! This took a bit. Looking back, I noticed some spelling errors that I didn't catch before. I have made sure that those will be stopped as much as possible.
* Look up alluring secret black vow in English. I love this song and I love the story behind it!
** Festis bei umo canavarum – You will be the death of me… (For those of you who have not gotten that far in the game or didn't get that dialogue.)
R&R