Jiraiya's gaze penetrated Naruto's skull. "Go buy be some potato chips and some canned helium," he ordered.
"What?! I don't have time to do all your grocery shopping, old man!"
"Just shut up and do as I say."
"I'm not a little kid anymore!"
"Just do it.." Jiraiya snarled.
"But- but-"
"NO BUTS!"
"I need Sasori in order for me to do your shopping!"
"Sasori?"
"Well, yeah. I hurt my ankle." Naruto waved his foot in the air while cringing. Then he fell backwards. "Ow!"
The sage rollled his eyes. "Whatever. Just get it done. Meet me here in two hours." With that, Jiraiya walked away.
Naruto didn't like being left lying in the street. He couldn't walk around with his hurt ankle. Therefore Sasori must carry him! "SASORI!" he wailed.
It was a true coincidence that Sasori just happened to be walking by. Well, not really, I guess.
"What Naruto?" he growled.
"Take me to the grocery store, I can't walk!"
Sasori gulped. "You mean carry you?"
"Yeah! I could piggyback you!" Naruto exclaimed.
The Akatsuki member groaned. "Can't you ask someone else? I saw Lee down walk by a few minutes ago..."
Naruto's bottom eyelid twitched. "But Sasori, it must be a person with RED HAIR!"
o_o "What's that got anything to do with it?!"
"BECAUSEEEE PEOPLE WITH RED HAIR ARE BARIBIESSS!"
"You mean like Orochimaru?"
Naruto facepalmed. "You'll never understand."
Sasori sighed. "Then why can't you just ask Gaara?"
"Because he's already taken!" Naruto wailed, pointing the street. Gaara was walking with Sasuke on his back. Sasuke turned around and stuck his tongue out at Naruto.
"Look Naruto, I just don't have time for this, I'm sorry. I'm on my way to meet my girlfriend at the coffee shop."
"Lemme guess!" Naruto grinned. "Ino? Konan? Hinata? Tayuya? Deidara?! Is is Deidara?!"
Sasori snarled. "No, NO, no, no, and NOOO!"
Naruto was laughing.
"You know I'm not like that," Sasori hissed. "No matter how girly Deidara may seem.." he added under his breath.
"Then WHO?"
"I'm not telling." Sarori folded his arms.
Naruto stuck out his bottom lip. "Fine."
"Good-bye." Sasori turned to walk away.
Naruto started crying. "Carry meee!"
Sasori kept walking.
"DON'T LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE!"
Sasori kept walking.
After much more crying and moaning and screaming, Naruto gave up. He curled up in a little ball and cried into his knees. Suddenly someone tripped over him. "Uh?" the boy looked up, his face tear-stained.
"Naruto! What's the matter with you? Don't you know you shouldn't be laying out here like this?!" Iruka-sensai snapped, glaring down at Uzumaki.
"Oh hey there... Whuzzahuh? Iya ya, I know youuu..." Naruto appeared to be drunk. I don't know why.
"Are you okay?" Iruka looked concerned.
"Y-you're dddolphin mann! Dolphinsssss are cute... But I'm more into fishies..."
"What?"
Suddenly Naruto sat bolt upright. "You know who can help you with this?! T-the p-pervy sage... Yeah, him... go away now, can't you see I'm trying to rest? G'night kitty horse..." Naruto fell asleep.