Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. However I own the plot of this story.
AN: Today is August 25, 2005, this is version 2…wow, last time I wrote this chapter...was 3 years ago.
A clarification, in the last chapter, Kagome and Sesshoumaru, because of their connection, she is able to see his memories of his childhood, and that particular memory is where Naraku bestowed the curse upon her.
The Kagome you see in the present is the reincarnated one…they met each other 500 years ago…and this chapter tells their story in the past, 500 years back. It is told through alternating perspectives.
Chapter 4: The Truth About His Past
He has a voice, but it never will be heard.
He has a will, but blood stained dark.
Whomever his heart moves for shall perish,
as he shall always be alone,
his fate sealed.
"Kagome!" Kikyou rushes towards the girl at the door of their hut, a single candle illuminating the small room, making shadows dance. "I was worried about you."
Kagome just realizes it's midnight. It seems like forever since she last parted from her sister.
"Kagome! Why are you bleeding?" The priestess bends down examining Kagome's arm and wrist.
That memory is burnt freshly in her mind…
Her raw fear as his claws bite into her wrist drawing crimson streaks, his whip flying into the air reducing the heard of vicious wolves into nothing but fur matted with blood while slicing into her shoulder at same time, and at last the moment they shared together.
Then she remembers his true thought, Kagome, I don't want this to end... And the feeling of his lips sealed on hers. She remembers his shadow leaving from her, fading into the empty dark forest.
And his curse: whomever he loves shall die.
In her hand is the precious stone. It's the last thing of his mother's he possesses. The last shard of his memory he has of the last person in the world that ever cared for him, the last person that loved him.
Kagome feels something buried deep beneath her stirring, but then it shuts her out again.
"Sesshoumaru," she calls out his name.
"Kagome, what happened," Kikyou bends down and gently wipes Kagome's cheek with the white sleeve of her hakama.
Kagome just realizes she's crying, as she throws herself into Kikyou's arms.
She told her everything. Except for the kiss, and the strange connection between them. How can she? How can even her sister believe her?
He left her.
Before he melts into the night he picks up a bloody wolf's heart. The very wolf he slaughtered saving her. It feels cold and heavy in his hand. His hands have been stained with blood, too many times.
There is one emotion he hadn't felt for a long time.
I care for no one. He thought, his black yukata flying beside him. It's almost dawn in the deep forest. Cold wind makes the young leaves rustle, little insects still singing their nightly serenade, as the stars are setting and the eastern horizon is tinged with light.
He couldn't. He couldn't kill her. A flash of memory blazes within his mind, burning his soul with its flames, he can never forget
Five hundred years ago…
He runs, the fastest in his entire life. He's desperately getting away. Naraku, the same demon who killed both of his parents now binds his powers. Sesshoumaru can still hear his cold laughter ringing sharply in his ears. He hates it. He hates his helplessness in Naraku's chains.
Mother, father, I tried, he is shutting his eyes, hard.
"You can't escape fate," Naraku laughs from the eye of the black storm he creates. The black-clad demon Lord stands there laughing as he sinks a white blade into Sesshoumaru's side. The young demon is sprawling in the middle of a forest, the grass around him is stained crimson.
But that pain is nothing compare to the pain at his wrist. Sesshoumaru clutches at his left wrist where a silver ring sits perfectly still. That is a power seal, an ancient branch of dark magic that can render demons to nothing but mortal beings. So now he is basically what he dreaded the most to be – human. In chains, Naraku forces the seal on him, now all his demon powers are gone. Bound. And still laughing, as a crow with three eyes lands on his shoulder, Naraku tells him the only one that can remove the seal is himself.
Then the crow perching on Naraku's shoulder lets out a hellish shriek as its master turns to leave. The black storm around Naraku gets ever so strong as he fades away. The chains around Sesshoumaru also fade away.
Pure pain, and black dots are dancing in front of his eyes, his vision fades little by little. The more he claws at the iron manacle bounding his wrist, the tighter it becomes. Every drop of his blood is pulsating through his veins, as if on fire. His hatred is igniting from within as he stares at the spot where Naraku disappears with cold amber eyes. The giant gash at his side bleeds even more. He's alone. Nothing but a mere mortal, mortal and alone he is. Because of the seal, his wounds won't heal.
An image of his mother's face is burnt into his mind…how she was suffering when his father died. And he remembers the sapphire rose.
Sesshoumaru walks on, in his blood stained yukata, then he sees the lights of a tiny village ahead. And remembers…
That's the first time he saw her.
The sapphire rose resting above her chest, Kagome's breath is even, she's dreaming…
500 years ago…
She saw herself, wearing a pale green dress and a plain gray woolen shawl shielding her from the cold. Sadness fills her eyes, it's getting closer and closer to her wedding day. 20 days. Which is the same as her death. Her parents are forcing her to marry a local Lord who is old enough to be her grandfather. She runs out of the village, to her very own place where no one can find her…
Beyond her little village is the grassland, and to the west is a deep forest. The grass stretches on, wind making little waves as the ocean and a soft rustling sound. It's a spring night, stars gazes at her from above like thousands of sparkling eyes.
This is herself in the past, five hundred years ago…
She loves the night, where she's truly free. The darkness shields her emotions, no one can see her, or order her around. There's only the stars up above, the shadows of trees shifting with the wind. This is her own time.
Suddenly she sees a lone figure in the distance. He seems to be trying to stand up, but with great difficulty. Something tells her to walk towards the shadow ahead…
Kagome suddenly gasps, she has never seen something like this in her life…
There he is, his hair matted with blood. Another trail of red hangs from the corner of his lip. He has long silvery hair, but it's covered with dirt. A thin crescent of blue moon hangs above his glittering golden eyes. His black yukata's no longer black, but red. Stained by his blood.
He's a demon…
He's beautiful…
It's a strange adjective to be used on a man, but there is no other word…
A part of her wants to run away with fear, back to the warm little house resting at the edge of her little village. But those beautiful golden eyes, as twin flames in the night are gazing up at her. His mesmerizing gaze makes her feel cold, she can almost feel his pain, a part of herself is slowly burning up inside.
Instead of running away in fear, slowly she bends down, coming closer to the demon on the ground. Logic screams at her: run away you fool! An angry beast is the most dangerous, run!
His teeth are bare, his claw flexing as they dig to the earth, his demon blood is burning from within yet the iron manacle at his wrist bounds his true form. He only lets out a low hiss.
Expecting her to back away with fear, as strands of his silver bangs falls in front of his golden eyes, the girl only says, "You are hurt…"
Savagely he glares at the human girl in the pale green dress and the midnight hair. He raises his claw to attack, burning with desire to kill. Killing has become a part of him, a low growl escapes his burning throat. Every one of his demon desire is bound, wanting to be unleashed. He wants the most to rip her into pieces…
But then…
Shivering, not even from the night, she doesn't even know what made her do what she did next.
She touches his hand, the one with the cursed manacle bounding him, sending pain through his entire body. "Shhh, stop it, you'll be alright," that is all she says.
The night is filled with scent of blood…His claw tenses in her hand in surprise, then it relaxes as pain overtakes him, and as he feels her warmth. His vision fades as he slumps right into her arms.
She doesn't know why she's doing it, helping this demon. Nor she knows where her courage comes from. Somehow she's not afraid, without fear of even death by his sharp claws. She knows she has no future…20 days later after that horrifying wedding, the temple her grave, the bells her requiem…and spending the rest of her life meaningless, entrapped within her future husband's castle – her eternal prison. He is a good man, she knows, but a husband? No. It's just, wrong.
She looks down at the beautiful silver haired demon, his eyes closed. Sleeping but without the peacefulness, she can almost feel his pain.
The pain is what put him to sleep.
In the middle of the giant grassland that seems to be without an edge, she kneels down one of his hands in hers and his head resting on her lap.
The next time he opens his eyes, somehow he's not cold. Her shawl is wrapped around him, shielding him from the cold. He lets out a raspy breath.
"Shhh," she says, lightly touching the manacle at his wrist. Her violet eyes meet the beautiful golden ones. "I know this will hurt, but it's the only way." Her voice is filled with gentleness – something to him is a distant dream. He's alone. And it's always been that way. Slowly she takes his right hand into her own…lacing his slender fingers with her own.
He cannot speak, that pain, it's eating him from inside. The girl seems a bit afraid, not of his sharp claws or his bleeding side, but scared of hurting him.
"Relax now, I will help you." She says firmly not even knowing why she's saving him. Gently she puts an arm around the demon's shoulder…
"Go…go away!" He glares at her. "I don't n-need your help!" He suddenly lunges towards her. The girl withdraws suddenly. Another rush of pain from his wrist makes his entire body shake as if his bones are on fire. But he hides that emotion from her leaving his face blank.
"But you are hurt," the girl's raven locks falls onto her face, her violet eyes sparkling with the reflection of stars above.
"I don't need your pity," he narrows his eyes, breath quickens as if trying to hide his pain. "You…you don't even know me." He doesn't understand why she's helping him.
"Shut up!" the girl faces him, not knowing where that voice comes from. "And stop trying to hide your pain, because you are horrible at it." This seems so much unlike herself.
Every time his heart beats, the pain pulsates sharply. He wants to get up and just kill her. But something inside him stops, and he finally gives up as the excruciating pain takes over. Surprised, the demon's eyes are still narrowed, as her hand grips onto the iron manacle at his wrist…
She holds him up as her fingers close around the cold iron, his silvery hair spills over her shoulder, his blood caked boa flies at her side. Once more she looks into those golden eyes, asking him to trust her. Somehow he heard.
Holding that iron ring seems hard, because she can feel his pain…that connection…That single moment she feels…as if she is meant to save him. She mutters something, being the village's priestess, enchantments is her specialty.
Inside she apologizes over and over for giving him more pain. Thinking perhaps it's a mistake to try this and maybe leaving him to a peaceful end is better. No. She has to try.
She feels as if her soul is flowing out at her fingertips. Grasping his arm, he tenses, Kagome slowly closes her eyes and with all her strength. Time seems to slow down, with him lying in her arms. The world seems fading around them…the wind, the endless sea of grass that stretches into the night disappears.
His other hand grabs onto hers, hard as a strand of soft silver hair brushes against her hand.
That's when their minds touched for the first time.
Sesshoumaru, that's your name…Somehow she can hear his thoughts…
Warmth spreads through his body…his vision dying along with blinding pain that tears at him from inside…
Then blinding violet light sweeps away his blurring vision…
Then in the girl's hand is that iron ring. Leaving his left arm resting on the ground, with blood flowing where the ring used to be.
Back at the village, her parents are making a fuss about her wedding.
"Aren't you lucky Kagome, to be marrying Lord Hariko!" Her mother smiles at her. "This is the best thing that could ever happen to you – marrying the rich lord, you –"
Dryly she cuts her off, "I'm going to bed." Shuddering at what her mother just told her. 'Best thing that could ever happen to you', "I call that going to hell." Kagome whispers bitterly.
Lying in her bed, she prays that the demon is safe.
The next night she runs back to her secret place where no one could find her. The demon is lying beside a rock, his beautiful silvery hair around him.
"You are well," she says, secretly glad, but not showing anything on her face.
He turns sideways to look at her, "Why did you help me?"
"You obviously had no one that cared for you," Kagome replies wind sends her hair flying in front of her face.
"I trust no one," He dismisses her words.
She stands beside him in silence. Gazing at the mysterious demon beside her, she blinks once. "Didn't you have parents? A childhood?" She asks.
"Ha," He lets out a bitter laugh, "Parents, they died a long time ago."
Alone, that's how he ever lived, no one cared…She can see the loneliness in his eyes…Inside she promised, somehow she'll change that.
Kagome wakes up in he present time, the sapphire rose tightly in her hand. Hair falls down her shoulder. I'm the only one that ever cared for him.
No, I have to set him free, that curse…that demon Naraku. How can I go on living if my Soulmate is in such pain…No, I have to find him! Sesshoumaru, I won't let you be alone again. I'll set you free!
What she saw in her dreams was herself in a past life, five hundred years ago where she met him for the first time.
And he was alone ever since.
Fragments of his memory are blurry; it's been so long…
500 years is a long time…
All he remembers is that girl comes to him one day crying. She tells him that she is going to be forced to marry. And how there are seven murdered men in her village.
He didn't know what to do to comfort her, but he realizes all she's done for him. Removing that bound, freeing his soul. He suddenly pulls the girl into his arms, so natural, as he takes her hand. Her hand fits in his perfectly, as if they are meant for each other.
She looks surprised. But she clings onto him as she sobs leaning against his shoulder. Then he kissed her where a single drop of tear lingers…they stand there for what seems to be eternity…In a field where knee deep grass stretches on till infinity…
Then he remembers the villagers came, full of rage. The man in the front of him points, "this demon! He must be the murder."
The crowd of men behind him has swords drawn…then that man with the knife comes straight at him. He only had time to push the girl aside, saving her life as that knife plunges straight into his chest…
His demon blood pulsates through his veins, the rest of this memory seems fuzzy…They have been bound so long, now they are going to come out…
All he remembers was his own claws dripping with red, screaming villagers, and the pure pleasure…of killing.
In that rage, he lost control.
He killed her entire village.
Then he remembers the last person he killed, his claws ripping through her flesh, warm blood splattering down onto the pitch-black yukata.
Then he realized it's that girl who saved him.
Kagome.
She's dying in his arms.
In that fit of rage, he killed her, he killed the only person that could heal him.
"Why? W-why do you have to kill?" He holds her so gently as she whispers with her last breath.
For the first time in his life he says, "I'm sorry!"
The image of the light fading in those violet eyes haunted him for what seems to be eternity. Her hand falls as the last drop of her warm tears falls onto his hand…
Then he realizes it must be Naraku's curse. Whoever he loves will die.
And without knowing it.
He already loved her.
But now he knows the same soul of the girl that saved him in the past have returned.
She's been reborn into this world.
And he realizes his savage past.
He killed her in the past.
He killed his own soulmate…
It's an illusion, he tells himself as he walks deeper into the forest, into the darkness he is so familiar with, the darkness enclosing him. He becomes the darkness itself.
She's an illusion, I will never see her again. But even he can't deny it: she is real, their connection, he can never forget…
Kagome whispers into the night, "Sesshoumaru, I'll find you. I won't ever let you be alone again."
The darkness welcomes her with open arms…
Replies on Reviews:
Hinoiri Fighter: hehe, did you say you don't mind cliffies? Bad choice, very bad choice….evil laughter…P
Ks-Starshine: Thank you very much for the review! I'm glad you like this story. Also, I read your new story! Great job! Hope ya continue...
Kage Neko: Thanks! I like my cliffies though…
Sake-is-yummy: cliffies rule…P
demoness of the light: thanks, I like Sess/Kag pairing, it's more original. Also it'd be hard to stay in character for Inuyasha…that's why I decided to write this.
y does a name matter: well, in the anime Kagome does annoy me sometimes too (notice how mean she is to her family!) anyways, in my story her character is different. Also, thanks for the email, I'll check out your stories sometimes…c ya!
kikyou-san: hey, I write sad stories a lot. Glad you liked it. )
Inu101112: I'm glad you like this story!
coolkiki2: thanks for telling me about my grammar errors in part 1, later on all of my chapters will be edited…I hope you like this chapter!
One last note: anyone want my other story updated tell me now, or else I'm not going to for a while. I'll try to get the next chapter in asap…Also constructive criticism is welcome! (I know my grammar is horribleI'll fix it sometimes, my English teacher yelled at me last week…P, but it's the story that matters right?)
I know this chapter is very dark, the mood will lighten up in the next one. It's called "Blue demon and the Little thief"…
See y'all next time…
x…GuardianOfTheNight…x