"Who is this?" a very angry male demanded on the second ring. "This call better be worth your life. You just made me die in Call of Duty while I was on a winning streak."
"Um, is this, is this Strider?" Fiona asked meekly as she stood in the middle of her high vaulted, and sparsely furnished room, rocking back and forth on her heals.
"Who is this and how did you get this number?" he demanded.
"Um, my, my name is Fiona McFey. I'm the uh, the sister to one of the, one of the women you save in Egypt, a few months back?" Damn Fiona hated her shyness at the moment. She had worked herself up, and he had smashed her confidence down in less than a heartbeat.
"Oh," the man said cooling his temper. "How is she doing?"
"Good. She's good. Uh, is this, Strider?"
"Yeah. So what can I do for you?" he asked.
"Actually," Fiona said taking in a huge breath for courage. "The question is, what can I do for you?" There, that wasn't hard. Taking in another long breath, Fiona speed through her speech so fast, she got it all out in one breath. "My sister and I are weavers by trade. We were taught by our grandmother, Habetrot, you probably have no idea who she is. She's the Celtic goddess of spinning and weaving. Anyway. The reason I wanted to talk to you, was to offer you and the other Lords of the Underworld a boon for saving my sister. We have discussed it, and we think the best thing we could bestow unto you is armor, uniforms, what have you, made out of spider silk. I know what you're thinking. Spider silk? Yes. It's lighter than silk, cooler than cotton, and warmer than wool. But what I think you would like most about it is that it's ten times stronger than Kevlar. We've already made up samples so if you like we can send them to you to prove what I say is true."
"I caught, none of that," Strider confessed after a moment of silence. "Take a breath, calm down, and try again," he suggested.
"Sorry, I'm, I'm really nerves," Fiona said as she moved to her bed and sat down.
"No problem, just learn how to breath when you talk," Strider laughed.
Is he laughing at me? Fiona thought to herself. He's not mad that I called? Okay, I can do this.
After a few deep breaths, Fiona made it through her little speech at a much slower pace than before. When she finished, Strider was very quiet. "Are, are you there?" Fiona asked confused and checking her phone to make sure she hadn't accidently hung up.
"Yeah, I'm here. Hold on a sec," Strider told her.
"O, okay," Fiona said still not sure what to do.
"Sabin, Lucien, come here!" Strider called. "Here hold on," he said again as he fidgeted with his phone. "Can you hear me?" he asked Fiona.
"Y, yes, I can hear you," Fiona said as she was able to hear more of his surroundings. He put me on speaker phone! Absently she started to twirl a strand of hair around her index finger.
"What is this about?" a new voice asked.
"You have to hear this," Strider told the voice.
"Hear what?" a second voice asked.
"Alright, I want you to tell them everything you just told me," he said addressing Fiona.
"All, all of it?" How many times is he gonna make me say it? Fiona wondered with a whine.
"Yes, all of it. From the beginning. Go," Strider said with so much excitement in his voice.
"O, okay. My name is Fiona McFey…" For the third time she repeated what she wanted to tell them. For a third time, there was silence after she finished.
"How long would it take you to make this spider silk armor?" the first new voice asked.
"Um, we already have most of it ready to be dyed and woven. After that, about a fortnight to make the fabric and sew it into clothing," Fiona informed the man.
"You said you have samples and can prove what you say," the second voice wondered.
"Yes."
"If this cloth can do as you claim it can, I would be more than interested in this spider silk of yours," the first voice commented.
"Um, well. If you give me an address, I can have it FedExed to you this afternoon," Fiona said hoping that they would agree.
"I don't want to wait that long," the first voice told someone.
"I agree," the second voice. "Fiona, how well do you handle teleporting?"
"Um, it's not my best skill," she confessed as she dragged a hand through her hair. "But," she interrupted just as the first voice was going to speak. "Before you get too excited, I should tell you the down sides to spider silk."
"Go on," the first said.
"Even though it is impervious to normal attacks, it's only weakness is enchanted items. So if your foes are using anything enchanted, it will go right through the fabric like a warm knife through butter." Fiona explained, stabbing the air in front of her like she was stabbing someone. "But, there is an upside to that weakness. My sister and I have been trying to come up with a weaving pattern that will counteract most enchanted items. We have about a three hundred different patterns. To us, none of them feel right. So, we thought it would be best if you chose one."
"What can it protect us from?" the second asked.
"Um, anything enchanted by using the basic elements; such as earth, air, fire, water, wood, steel, and lightning."
"What about bullets filled with water from the rivers of Hades?" the first asked.
"Um, I'm not familiar, with that one. I know what Hades is, but I'm not familiar on what the water's effects are. So, what are the effects and antidote?" Fiona asked. "I'll see if I can figure something out."
As the first voice explained the effects, Fiona racked her brain on what she knew of that caused those effects. It was the antidote that had Fiona bursting into laughter.
"What's so funny?" both voice one and two asked.
"The antidote," Fiona laughed. "Water from the River of Life," she got out through laughs. "Usquebaugh."
"What is she talking about?" Strider ask.
"No idea," one confessed.
"Usquebaugh means Waters of Life," Fiona said trying to stop laughing. "Usquebaugh is whiskey. Whiskey is the Water of Life. It's too funny."
Growls and laughter passed through the microphone into Fiona's ear.
"Say it one more time," Strider asked laughing.
"Ish-ka-ba-ha," Fiona said as her laughter started to subside.
Strider laughed. "Bartender, one usquebaugh." Even though he butchered the word, Fiona laughed again at his excitement for learning a new word.
"Sorry," Fiona finally said wiping tears from her eyes. "Sorry, but oh I needed that. To answer your question, no. I have no idea if it will work. If I had a vial of whiskey," she giggled, "to add to the water when we dye it, it might counteract the effects. But I can't guarantee it one way or the other."
"Shit," voice one cursed under his breath.
"But if you like," Fiona offered. "I can try to talk to Caillech and see what she says."
"Who?" voice two asked.
"My sire's dam. Caillech is the guardian to the gates of Hel. Well, a guardian."
"I've been to the gates of Hell," voice two stated. "I've never seen a woman guarding the gate."
"Do you always go to the same gate?" Fiona asked.
"There's only one gate," two half growled.
"Um," Fiona said shaking her head. "Actually, there are thirteen. But that's another discussion," she said waving her hand in the air.
A very audible popping sound was heard over the background noise.
"Anyway, I'll still ask and see what she says," Fiona said leaning back on her free hand.
"You do that," one said. "In the mean time, what do you have planned for the day?"
"Um, I still have an order I need to finish. But that won't take long. Why?" Fiona asked.
"We wish to test this silk of yours first hand," one said in a very mischievous tone.