Selection Factor4
John was staring down at their clasped hands. He eyed the baby shirt again. Eyed their hands. Hers resting in his. The glint of their gold wedding rings. Thoughts and emotions tangling yet again.
Moira smiled. "John?" she softly prompted. "You wanted to tell me something?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah." He met her gaze. "Do you...do you feel cheated?" he asked, approaching from a different angle.
"I...cheated? I don't understand."
"Why didn't you want a bridal shower? A baby shower, even? Elizabeth offered."
She shrugged. "I didn't want one. Either one. What would be the point? I'm already married. And as for the baby, well...I'd rather you and I handle all of that. Getting things."
"But I had a bachelor party and was already married," he reminded.
"True, but yours was also a we survived the ATA Wraith celebration. Two parties in one. After that you guys needed to cut loose. Although you cut a little too loose."
"Yeah. Don't remind me," he agreed, running a hand through his hair. Recalling how plastered he had been. So plastered that he had almost let another woman take advantage, suck him off until Moira had intervened. "Seriously, Moy, do you? Feel cheated, I mean? Take those photos." He pointed. "I don't have any photos of you. Well, none that I can frame or even take with me on missions."
"So? You see me now, don't you?" she asked, puzzled. "I need those photos of you when you are not here," she explained.
"And I don't? I want a photo of you, Moy. We don't have any wedding photos," he complained.
She sighed. "So? Not that again," she commented.
"Do you feel like we, we rushed the whole thing? I mean, do you... Moira..." He caressed her fingers in his, voice grave, expression serious, "do you want a proper wedding?"
"Proper?" She eyed him coyly. "John Sheppard, are you trying to tell me that our wedding didn't count and now that you've gone and knocked me up you feel the need to really marry me?"
"No! We are really...oh hilarious, Moira! I'm serious, damn it! Do you want a proper wedding? The white gown, the flowers, the whole nine yards?" he asked angrily. Embarrassed at his feelings. Her amusement.
"No," she answered calmly. Perplexed at his attitude. "What would be the point, John? By the time we even managed to get all of that it will look like a shotgun wedding! It would! Do you want John junior to see that wedding photo? Please! I thought we agreed, no excess, no foo-foo, no silly–"
"You could still fit a wedding dress, Moira. And none would be the wiser," he argued, opening the sweater. But she smacked his hand away, closing the material. "Ow!"
"No. What is with you, John? We're married, all right? Baby on the way. I don't feel cheated, John. Do you? As long as I have you, as long as I have your love I'm happy. All right?" She kissed him. "I love you, John, only you. Not the rest. Nothing matters but you. Now, colonel, I really do have a lot of work so–"
"No!" He caught her before she could rise, move away from him. "Moira, I still...I want a photo," he stated.
"No, John. Not when I look like this! Now let go so I can–"
"Like this?" He pulled her gently closer. "By this you mean so beautiful I can't even articulate how I feel? By this you mean so voluptuous you make my mouth water? My cock aches to be in you, baby. I want–"
"John!" She colored. "Please! You don't mean that. Look, obviously you are overcome by seeing the scan, I understand that. You don't have to hide it from me, sweetie. Or pretend that you are still attracted to me like that. So–"
"What? I'm not pretending. I am attracted. Very." He turned her face to his. Kissed her. "Moira...I love you."
She smiled. Touched by his utter sincerity, his warmth. "And I love you, John, now–"
"No. You don't understand, Moira. I love you. Look..." His gaze lowered to their hands again. He licked his lips, oddly nervous. "I'm not good at this. You know that. I mean...I'm getting better, with you. I...I can't tell you. How I feel. How happy I am with you, Moira. Moira, I'm in love with you still. I mean, I love you more now than I did before and I didn't think that was even possible. I didn't think I could love you more...I mean, I...you...you are everything to me. Moira, you. John junior. I never thought I'd have any of this. Ever. And I know you feel the same...we...you...I..." he stammered, stopped.
Moira smiled. Felt tears. Lifted his face to hers. "I love you too, John." She kissed him. "It's all right, John. I know. But it is nice to hear."
"No. I can say it better this way, baby." He kissed her. A slow, languorous kiss. Another. Another. Gliding his tongue into her mouth.
Moira murmured, lost herself in his kisses. Found herself on her back suddenly. John's mouth moving across her cheek to nibble her earlobe. His hand opening the sweater. Sliding along her side. "John?"
"Moira, my Moira," he whispered, kissing down her throat. Pressing close, so close. Hand sliding across to gently fondle a breast. Caress the nipple into hardness. His mouth took hers again. Fingers playing across her breasts. Cupping. Caressing. She moaned, gently pushed him back.
"John?"
"Yes, baby." He kissed her. "You did say sex was fine."
"Yes, I...I mean...I...you...I didn't think you'd want to have, have sex with, with, with me," she stammered, flustered.
"Always with you," he soothed. "Baby, I can hardly keep it down. I want to make love to you, Moira. Explore every luscious part of you."
"John! John, you...really? I mean...I..." She whimpered as his hand slid between her legs. Caressing. "Oh John...John..."
"Any cravings I can assuage, baby? Anything at all?" he teased, kissing her.
But she pushed him. Flustered. Embarrassed. "No. I mean...tonight! Tonight, John. In, in the dark. The dark." She appeared close to tears.
He kissed her. "Tonight? All right, sweetheart." He relented. Reluctantly freeing her to sit. "Whatever you want, Moira. Whatever you wish."
She sat, pulling the sweater almost savagely around her. Shifted, wanting him. Aching for him but embarrassment halted her desire. "I...I..."
"Is that why you are so covered up, Moira?" he asked. "Is anyone bothering you? I'll take care of it, I promise."
"No. Nothing, nothing like that...I...I...I...have work!" She scrambled off the bed. Rushed out of the room.
John sighed. Amused but frustrated. Concerned. Knew the men would be looking at her, noticing. He couldn't blame them really, as long as they didn't upset her. Approach her. He debated how to proceed. How to calm her nerves. To relax her. He smiled. To seduce her.
Moira sat in the bio lab, sweater wrapped tightly around her. She stared at nothing. Upset. Thinking of John. Wanting him but uncertain. Hesitant. Charmed by his words, his stumbling declarations of love, devotion. Joy over the baby. But she was reluctant to be with him. Intimately. Although her bodily changes seemed to turn him on even more than before. It should have reassured her but it didn't.
She wiped her eyes, frustrated. Angry. Uneasy at the changes in her body, her appearance. At the same time longing for her husband. His touch. His kisses. His loving attentions. The pleasure that was vibrant, exuberant between them.
"Moira? Are you all right?"
She looked over as Julie neared, concern on her face.
"Yes. Fine. Hormones." She sighed. "John. John, he, um, he...wants me."
"Wants you? Wants...oh." Julie smirked. "Well, Doctor Sheppard, most if not all women would welcome that."
"I know! I...look at me! I'm not exactly, you know." Moira sighed, shook her head. "I mean, once he sees me...he'll–"
"Salivate like a dog in heat, trust me," Julie commented.
"Julie!" Moira exclaimed, blushing.
"Please! Isn't he like that now? Trust me, you have nothing to fear. He loves you, right? Wants you in a real bad way, probably. Enjoy it, Moira. You've got such a hold on him now."
"I do?" She considered, expression serious. "Oh. I just wish...I just wish I,.damn it, I'm only going to get bigger."
Julie laughed. "Yes, you are. So enjoy it now, Moira, while you can be reasonably comfortable. Come on. Let's do some work so you can relax. And keep him waiting."
John stood in the bathroom, fussing with his hair. He turned his head this way and that. Fingers mussing the dark brown strands. Arranging. Strands going in every direction. He ran a hand over his stubbled chin. Splashed a dash of cologne onto his skin. Undid one more button of his shirt. Smoothed down his slacks. He smirked. He had never taken this much trouble when he had been dating Moira. But now he had to proceed slowly. She was obviously skittish about renewing their intimacy. Uncomfortable with her bodily changes.
John sighed, shifted. Nearly salivating at the chance to get her into bed. To get her naked. To explore every dip and swell of her curves. He fussed with his hair again. Stepped to the comm unit on the wall. "Attention all Atlantis personnel. This is Colonel Sheppard. Would Moira Sheppard report to our quarters immediately? I repeat, Moira Sheppard needs to report to our quarters immediately!" He crossed into their room. Waited. Waited.
"John?" The voice in his ear startled him.
"Huh? Elizabeth?" he asked, tapping the earpiece.
"What's going on?"
"Um, nothing. I just need to see my wife, is all. We have a lot of things to discuss." He eyed the bed. The gleaming headboard.
"Don't forget we have a meeting at–"
"Yeah, about that. Don't think I'm going to make it. Sorry. Sheppard out." He tapped the earpiece, cutting off her protest. Scowled. Waiting for his wife.
Moira was jerked out of her research by John's voice on the PA. She sighed, glanced at her friends who were looking at her, amused. "Shit. What the hell does he want now?" She tapped her earpiece. "John? Copy? Sweetie?"
John smiled. Tapped his earpiece. "Moira, copy. Baby. Get that pert little ass here now."
"John! What is it now? I'm really busy here and I was just going to break for dinner so you–"
"Doing what, plotting your mutiny? Fine. Come here first and we can go to dinner."
"Why can't you just meet me in the cafeteria?" she asked, annoyed.
"No, Moira. I need you here." He thought fast. "I sort of, um, well, broke the...not broke, not exactly but I might have damaged the...just get your pert little ass here! Sheppard out!"
"John? Fine!" Moira swore, tapped the earpiece. Eyed her friends. "He's done something. I don't know what, but don't wait for me. Stupid man!" The women laughed as she left.
John smiled at her exasperated tone. He took off the earpiece. Stepped into the bathroom to be out of sight. He waited for her. Glanced at his preparations again. Anticipated.