Chapter 4
It was Tuesday morning and Nikki wasn't sure if she had slept at all. When the knock came on her cell door she had already been up and dressed for hours; standing by the window, smoking as though each cigarette was to be her last. She had been staring out of the window patiently waiting for Helen to walk through the courtyard. At the time of the knock on her cell door she had not seen her. She hoped that plans had not changed; she didn't think she could make it through the next few days without her.
As Nikki turned to face the opening cell door, she heard the familiar voice of Dominic McAllister. "Good morning Nikki. Ready to go then?"
"Good morning Mr. McAllister. I suppose so." Nikki desperately wanted to ask about Helen but didn't want to rouse suspicion. Nikki turned to gather her toiletries and clothes and began to place them in the prison issue plastic bag.
"Just a moment Nikki," came the familiar voice of Helen Stewart and it caused Nikki to stop dead in her tracks. She turned to find Helen standing in the doorway holding a small overnight bag. "I thought this would be a bit more appropriate."
"Thanks Miss Stewart. I appreciate it." Nikki walked over to Helen and took the bag from her hand, allowing one of her fingers to gently touch Helen's skin. Helen smiled knowingly at Nikki and then turned her attention to Dominic.
"Everything set Dominic?"
"Yes Miss. I brought the long shackles, for comfort of the drive and while she's sleeping."
"I appreciate your consideration Dominic. I'd like a couple of moments with Nikki before we go if you don't mind. I'll get her in tow."
"Yes Miss. Let me know when you're ready." Dominic exited the cell and partially closed the door behind him.
Helen turned to face Nikki and then crossed the cell to her. She brought her hands up and placed them on Nikki's shoulders. "Is there anything you need to do before we go?"
"No Miss, I've already used the loo." Nikki slyly replied giving Helen a wink.
Helen smiled in response. "That's not what I meant smarty," giving Nikki a playful poke in the arm with her finger. "Is there anything I can get you, anything you need for the trip?"
"No Helen, I'm fine. I've got my favorite book and a pair of headphones to drown out your incessant inquiries about how I'm doing." Nikki smiled adoringly at Helen and Helen felt the color coming to her face.
"Alright, alright. Let's get going then." Helen picked up the shackles from Nikki's desk and began to place them on Nikki's wrists. She looked up at Nikki who was carefully studying Helen's face. "I know these aren't necessary but it is procedure."
"It's okay Helen. I'm not taking it personally." Nikki gave a gentle squeeze to Helen's hand in reassurance. Helen finished placing the shackles around Nikki's wrists and led Nikki out of the cell. A group of girls had gathered at the bottom of the stairs to wish Nikki well on her way out.
The two Julies passed Nikki a card that they had made, Denny gave her a reassuring nod, and even Shell managed a sincere smile in Nikki's direction. 'Guess there is one thing that can unite the prisoners', Helen thought to herself. Dominic was waiting at the gate that led out of the wing and Nikki turned back to the girls. "Thanks mates."
Nikki was escorted through the halls, out into the courtyard and then finally to a car waiting at the main gate; the whole way Nikki had Dominic on one side and Helen on the other. Jim Fenner was standing directly beside the car as they approached, "My condolences to you and your family Miss Wade." He opened the door to the car.
"Piss off Fenner." Nikki spouted as she got into the back seat of the black sedan.
"That's enough Nikki." Helen scolded and then turned to Fenner, "Thank you for seeing us off Jim. I leave the rest of the girls in your charge. Don't disappoint me." She took her place beside Nikki in the car. Fenner forcefully shut the door behind her.
Jim looked across the top of the car to see Dominic still standing outside. "Keep your eye on that one Dom."
"I don't foresee any problems Jim. No need to worry, you'll have your hands full round here." Dominic entered the car beside Nikki. "Sorry about that Nikki."
"No Mr. McAllister, I'm the one who's sorry." Nikki turned to Helen, "I'm sorry."
Helen gave a light pat on Nikki's knee and instructed the driver to begin the trip. Neither Helen nor Nikki acknowledged the electricity both felt at the touch.
**************************
The drive started out pretty uneventfully. Helen and Nikki shared occasional conversation and Nikki would try to include Dominic who didn't seem to understand most of the jokes and playful jabs that Helen and Nikki were exchanging. Helen did her best to try and keep the mood light for Nikki and Nikki did her best to keep Helen from taking it all too seriously. With the drive less than scenic for a while Helen tried to concentrate on the work she had brought with her. Nikki had her nose buried in her book though she had been reading the same page for over half an hour. Helen was distracted by every bump in the road that pushed her knee against Nikki's. Nikki would occasionally shift in her seat and allow her hand to brush against Helen's thigh. Helen would look over at Nikki every now and again but would turn away before Nikki saw. She was unaware that Nikki was watching her from the periphery and melting with every glance from those beautiful hazel eyes.
The trip was almost out of its third hour when Dominic requested a break. "I think we should stop for lunch now Miss."
Dominic's voice broke Helen out of her thoughts of Nikki. "Oh, of course. Mr. Donahue, please stop in the next town. We'll be taking a break for lunch."
"Very well Miss Stewart," replied Donahue.
"Nikki, is there anything special you would like to eat?"
"What?" Nikki turned to Helen with a bit of a shocked look on her face and gave her a small wink. "My choice?" Nikki replied.
Helen blushed when she realized the innuendo Nikki was placing to the question. "Well, I…er…I just thought," Helen stammered trying to think of a reason why she had asked Nikki to choose. She hadn't really put any thought into the question it just seemed to come out. "I thought it would be nice that's all, for you to eat something you would like." Helen turned to look out the window, mentally beating her head against it for losing her composure like that.
Nikki put her hand on Helen's shoulder, "I appreciate that Helen but really it doesn't matter what I eat. I know how much you're doing to try and make this easier for me. It means a lot." Helen turned and smiled at Nikki. She was preparing to say something wonderful and inspiring when Donahue announced their arrival at a restaurant.
"Dominic, let's go ahead and take the shackles off here."
"Yes Miss." Dominic leaned over to unlock Nikki's shackles as she looked at Helen. Helen leaned into Nikki, "I know you're not going anywhere." Helen's breath was hot against Nikki's ear and Nikki could feel the tiny hairs on her neck stand up. Everyone got out of the car and walked towards the restaurant. Nikki stretched and took in deep breaths of free air. She smiled at Helen and mouthed "Thank you". Helen smiled back and felt the all too familiar flush on her cheeks.
When they got into the restaurant Dominic excused himself to the loo. "Probably not a bad idea," Nikki remarked.
"Right, it has been a long drive so far," Helen replied. Both ladies walked into the loo and fumbled with who was to go first and how they were going to manage the surveillance issue that Nikki knew was on Helen's mind.
Nikki broke the silence, "I'll go first and then you can pass me off to Mr. McAllister." Nikki winked and then went into one of the stalls.
Helen nervously turned on the tap at the sink and then surveyed herself in the mirror. When Helen heard the toilet flush she looked up into the mirror to see Nikki walking out of the stall and approaching her from behind. Her heart leapt at the sight of Nikki and her breathing quickened the closer she got. Nikki stopped directly behind Helen at the sink and waited. Moments passed and neither spoke, Nikki finally broke the tension, "I suppose I could go through you."
"Oh, sorry." Helen turned around facing Nikki and scooted off to the side at the same time. Her breasts slightly brushed against Nikki's arm as she passed and Helen caught her breath at the touch. Nikki quickly washed then dried her hands and waited for Helen to walk her out of the bathroom. Helen was frozen in her tracks, still relishing the feeling of her breasts against Nikki's arm. Nikki walked towards Helen who was standing directly in front of the bathroom door. With every step Helen's breathing quickened, she was caught in the gaze from Nikki's dark and brooding eyes. Nikki stopped in front of Helen; she looked up at Nikki as she slowly brought her hand up to Helen's cheek. Nikki lightly brushed Helen's cheek with the back of her fingers, "You are so beautiful."
Helen spoke breathily, "Nikki!", as she allowed her hands to come up and rest on Nikki's hips. Without taking a step she moved her body closer to Nikki's and Nikki's hand moved from Helen's cheek to the back of her neck, tangling her fingers in Helen's hair. Helen responded to Nikki's touch by moving her hands up Nikki's back. Nikki leant forward and lightly brushed Helen's lips with her own, waiting for Helen's response. A small whimper escaped Helen's lips before she moved forward and pulled Nikki closer, taking control of the next kiss. Helen pressed her lips firmly against Nikki's; Nikki pressed her full weight against Helen causing her to stumble backwards against the door. Helen moaned as she felt the warmth of Nikki's tongue in her mouth and Nikki moaned when she felt Helen's tongue return the gesture. Hands explored, bodies touched and tongues tasted. Nikki was beginning to move her hand down Helen's neck and chest towards her breast when a knock on the door startled them both.
"Everything alright in there?" came Dominic's voice from the other side.
Helen looked at Nikki unable to find her voice to answer Dominic's question. She searched Nikki's eyes for the words and Nikki took the lead. "Sorry sir. Just another tick." Helen lightly touched Nikki's face and then pulled herself away, back in front of the mirror to check her face before turning back towards Nikki. Nikki turned away from Helen and slowly opened the door. Dominic was standing directly outside with a puzzled and concerned look on his face.
"You alright Nikki? You look a bit flushed."
"Yes sir, thank you. Just a bit emotional is all. Miss Stewart was helping me through it." Helen exited the bathroom behind Nikki and Dominic paid her no attention, his concern for Nikki was genuine.
Their lunch was quick as was the stop in the loo before leaving the restaurant and getting back on the road. Once back in the car Nikki and Helen barely spoke while Dominic tried to stay awake. After about an hour Dominic had finally given in to sleep and Nikki stared at Helen who was deep into a report. Nikki kept putting words together in her head but trying to get them to come out of her mouth in a coherent manner was proving a more difficult task. She finally managed to seek out, "Do you have a pen I could use?"
"What?" Helen looked up from the report that she was pretending to read and faced Nikki.
"A pen. Do you have one?"
"Oh sure." Helen reached into her briefcase and pulled out a pen. She handed it to Nikki, "Here you go."
"Thanks." Nikki took the pen and allowed her fingers to run across the palm of Helen's hand. The touch sent chills up Helen's arm and she tried not to let Nikki notice her reaction. "Sorry to bother but can you spare a bit of paper?"
Helen reached back into her case and brought out a pad of paper. "Knock yourself out," she said, smiling at Nikki.
Nikki smiled back and took the pad, this time making sure not to touch Helen. Pad and pen in hand Nikki glanced at Helen again, who was already back to her report, and then put pen to paper not really knowing what she was going to write. It started with a series of doodles, mostly squiggly lines and circles then went on to become simple drawings of bars and windows. Nikki would look up from her doodling on occasion to watch Helen, studying her face and neck and the way she would tuck the loose strands of hair behind her ear. Every movement, every breath was being cataloged in Nikki's memory for future reference during those long nights away from Helen. Before she knew it the words came and then would not stop, nothing that would make any sense to anyone other than Nikki. They were words that made her think of Helen, words that conveyed her feelings, words that showed her frustration, desire, regret and love. Nikki didn't know for whom she was writing this ... Helen? ... herself? ... no one? The words just came and she wrote them, not trying to make sense of it, simply trying to get them out.
No summer moons to sit beneath
Sunset walks along the rivers edge
Sunday paper, tea and jam
I never thought I would miss it, something I have never had
We pass like strangers sometimes, then other times as friends
I know every move you make
I cherish the times together whatever they may be
Your actions state the same
How I long to come away from this life that separates
Never before have I hoped so much
I damn the circumstances that keep us apart but am grateful for they brought us together
To see your eyes in candlelight
To feel your skin against my ownMy Dearest Helen,
I can't get you out of my head. The last few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion
and I can never repay your kindnesses. I wish I could say these words to you. I know you feel the same as I do, I sense it when you look at me and I feel it when we touch. You fought it for so long and now in my hour of need you have given in to it and I am elated. You have brought so much into my life and even though I am caged your love has given me wings. I am about to face one of the most difficult times of my life and I know I would not be able to do it if you weren't by my side. Whatever happens from this time on, I will cherish you always and I will love you forever …
Nikki paused for a moment and looked up from the tablet to see that Helen was watching her. Helen had looked up from her report several minutes earlier to see that Nikki was intently writing a letter of some sort. She couldn't help but catch some of the words on the paper and her palms became sweaty at the realization of Nikki's feelings for her. Her heartbeat grew fast as she, more importantly, realized the intensity of her own feelings for Nikki. Their eyes caught each others gaze and they were locked in an impassioned stare. Nikki placed her hand on Helen's leg and Helen placed her hand over Nikki's, never losing eye contact. Nikki could feel her heartbeat becoming faster and stronger as Helen's breathing quickened. Helen squeezed Nikki's hand and could feel her desire for Nikki throbbing in her sex. Nikki was mesmerized by Helen's beauty and was fighting the urge to lean in and kiss her. She was about to give in when a voice came from the front of the car.
"Miss Stewart. I believe this is the turn off. Am I correct?" Donahue inquired from behind the wheel.
A startled Helen replied, "Let me double check." Nikki removed her hand from Helen's leg as Helen reached into her briefcase and pulled out her day planner. She flipped through a couple of pages and then responded. "Yes Donahue, this is the right place. We need to go to The Boatman on Bauer Street."
"Very good Miss. We should be there in about 30 minutes."
Dominic awoke from his slumber and sleepily asked, "What's that? What's going on?"
"Nothing Dom. Donahue was just checking on the directions. We should be to the hotel in about 30 minutes. You can go back to sleep if you like."
"Sorry Miss. Never been much good as a passenger on a long car drive."
The rest of the drive was mostly quiet with all passengers looking forward out the window. Nikki had closed her stature so as to not come in contact with Helen, Helen spent her time packing up her work and flipping through her planner. Dominic asked Nikki questions about the area and Nikki politely answered them even though she hardly remembered the place. It had been almost 17 years since she had left Ipswich. When her father had kicked her out of the house she had left and never looked back. She kept tabs on her mother and brother over the years through her grandmother but even those contacts became scarce as the years passed. Nikki regretted not keeping more in touch with her grandmother, had she made more of an effort she could have mended things with her mother before it was too late.
When they pulled up to the hotel, Helen got out and went to the office. Nikki again couldn't help herself but to watch Helen's every move; she was truly a vision, graceful, elegant and beautiful. Helen returned to the car and both Dominic and Donahue exited. Helen spoke with them briefly and then opened the car door. "Are you going to spend the night out here?" Helen jokingly asked, the Scottish lilt in her voice carrying a jovial tone. Nikki gathered her things and slid across the seat and out of the car. She went to the trunk and retrieved her bag and Helen's. "I can get that." Helen stated as she reached for her bag.
"It's alright Helen, I've got it." Helen smiled and led Nikki to their room, Dominic following behind. Helen opened the door and allowed Nikki to enter first. She turned to Dominic who was standing at the door. "Come back for us in about an hour and we'll go to dinner," Helen instructed.
"Yes Miss. See you in a bit then," Dominic left to go to his room.
Helen closed the door behind Dominic and turned to Nikki. "I thought you might want a bit of time to freshen up and relax before we went to dinner. It's been a long day."
"Yeah. It's a bit odd to be back here. This is where I stayed after my father kicked me out of the house when I got expelled from school."
"Oh my God Nikki, I'm sorry. I would have made other arrangements had I…"
"It's alright Helen." Nikki cut Helen off before she could finish her thought. "If you don't mind I'm going to change and wash up."
"Of course Nikki. Take your time." Nikki took her bag and went into the bathroom. Helen sat on the edge of the bed staring at the door to the bathroom. Helen knew that there was another side to Nikki, a vulnerable side and seeing it made Helen fall in love with her even more. When Nikki had finished in the bathroom Helen reluctantly shackled her to the bed, unable to make eye contact while doing it, and then went into the bathroom to freshen up.
They left the room to wait for Dominic and so Nikki could smoke. Helen thought about how good it felt to be outside Larkhall with Nikki in a seemingly normal situation. Helen felt as though she was Nikki's lover, supporting her during her time of need, and it felt completely right. Helen held onto that thought for the remainder of the evening, they all enjoyed a quiet dinner peppered with jokes and laughter, Helen even allowed everyone to have a couple of drinks. When they returned to the room Nikki changed quickly without even excusing herself and Helen couldn't help but watch. Nikki climbed into bed and waited for Helen to lock her back up. Again Helen didn't meet Nikki's eyes while she shackled her to the bed. When she finished Nikki looked up at her, "Goodnight Helen."
"Goodnight Nikki. Sleep well. Let me know if you need anything." Helen went into the bathroom and changed into her bedclothes. When she returned Nikki was already fast asleep. Helen turned out the light and slipped into her own bed, watching Nikki in the dim light from the clock on the nightstand. Her thoughts were only of Nikki as she drifted off to sleep.