A/N - I struggled with revising this chapter, as I was changing some direction that was key in this chapter. I may have missed something with the last revision, so if something doesn't make much sense, let me know in a review. This whole chapter is Jane's POV. The next should have more Jackie & Karen.
(Jane's POV)
Under no other circumstance would I be standing here. After that day, months ago, I never wanted to see this place again. But, yet, here I am. Only one reason alone, make that two, that I would be here. One, to reclaim what was taken from me. And two, to catch the person that did this evil deed. I stare across the field at the spot I last saw Maura breathing. Though sadness grips my heart, anger and vengeance are stronger in me now. All before looked hopeless, now the team is trying to move forward with the investigation.
I turn back to the group of trees. Unsure what we're looking for, we try to find any kind of abnormality. Anything, such as a broken branch, cut fence, some clothes. I'd even go for some gum right now, just to catch this bastard. We did luck out that they picked a spot that isn't used often. Though I'm full of energy and adrenaline, I have to look with eagles eyes. I can't miss anything. The entire squad feels the loss, but too many people out here looking would be too much. Plus, we can't afford to not have the man power out on the streets. That left me, Frost and Detective Williams scoping the scene. We've been out here for an hour and have yet to find anything. Frustrated, I kick the tree. As I lift my head to scream at the heavens, I see a glimmer of something in the shaking leaves.
"Hey Frost! C'mere!" As he approaches, my eyes stay fixed on the spot. "I see something up there. Do you see it?"
As his eyes focus where I'm pointing, he shakes his head. "I don't see anything. Sure you saw something?"
I roll my eyes. I may be determined, but I'm not delusional. "Of course I'm sure!" I kick the tree again and point at the spot. "See it now?"
Frost squints and realization dawns on his face. "What is it?"
"I don't know, but I'm fixing to find out." I put a foot on the tree for leverage and I jump to reach the lowest branch. When I finally reach the branch, I put on fresh gloves and reach for what I saw gleaming in the sunlight from below. I put the piece in the evidence bag. At last, the time spent out here isn't looking like it was wasted. I zip the bag and jump down from the tree. Frost and I head back to the car, feeling a small glimmer of victory.
Back at the precinct, Frost and I walk in the room and applause breaks out. I hear scattered cheers and congrats from around the room. The first lead in months of this specific case is a breakthrough we all need right now.
"You're supposed to be on leave, why were you at the crime scene? And what are you doing here now?"
At this comment, the entire squad room was all ears. They knew it must be really important for me to go against orders. They wanted to find the killer almost as much as I did. The room is completely silent as I walk through.
As I approach Cavanaugh, I say "I was in the neighborhood. My dog had to pee. Besides, I missed your smiling face, Cavanaugh." He scoffs. "I'm just here to update something on my computer. I won't do any work, I promise." Cavanaugh gives a curt nod as he continues to watch me with eagle eyes. I head back to my desk.
As I sit down, I look at the picture of Maura and me that I just recently was able to look at again. As has become my custom, I kiss my fingers and put them on Maura. I wake up my computer to update my file on the case. This wasn't for the official file, but my own personal thoughts and discoveries along the way. It's given me a sense of control over a situation in which I had little to claim. As I finish, I shut down my computer and stand up. Once again, I kiss my fingers and touch the picture.
On the way home, I drive in silence once more. Though I haven't had a breakdown since the other day in the car, I don't want to risk it. I can feel myself getting stronger every day, now that there has been progress in the case. I feel like celebrating, even though it's not as big as solving the case. As soon as I get home, I call my brother, Frankie.
"Hey, Frankie, I felt like celebrating the movement on the case we're making. Wanna meet me for dinner?"
"Sure! When and where?" As we finish setting up dinner plans, I flip through the mail. My breath catches when I see an envelope with familiar handwriting.
"Everything okay, Janie?"
"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine." I say, distractedly, "I'll see you tonight." As I hang up the phone, my eyes transfix on the envelope. It's postmarked months ago. It must have got lost in the mail. I rip the envelope open to see what the voice from the grave has to say.
"Jane, I wanted this to come to you in the most unexpected way. Not for any reason that is customary, but just because it is. Even in your bad moods, worst days, I cannot imagine life without you. I love you more than you can ever imagine. I cannot wait to see what our future holds. Love you forever, Maura."
If there hadn't been a chair right behind me, I would have landed on the floor. My legs lost all strength. I sat there staring at the letter for what seemed like forever. She said she wanted it to be unexpected. This definitely was that. I could almost hear her laughing in the other room as she wrote this, imagining my reaction. She was always about surprising me with little things. After reading the letter again, I put it back in the envelope. As I glance at the microwave clock, I realize I need to get ready for dinner.
As I walk into Tasty Burger, I look around at the few tables occupied. I see Frankie in the corner. I head to his table and take a seat.
As the evening came to a close, I say bye to Frankie at the door and we walk our separate ways to our car. As I walk up to my car, I find a note on my windshield. I open it to see a typed page with just three words. "Help me - Maura". Instead of sending me into tears, it pisses me off. My detective senses kick in. My ever-present gun on my hip, I'm prepared for the unexpected. I scan the garage, looking for any sign of movement. I hear a soft "shit" and start walking slowly in that direction. As I get closer, I see someone in a hoodie sneaking between cars. I start running in their direction and they start running the opposite direction. All that food and alcohol earlier did not do well for my running speed.