Thank you to all of those who left comments the last chapter! Even if it's just a mere sentence, hearing from you guys helps me to stay motivated!
lucel18: It makes me soooo happy to hear that you loved their first meeting! It is going to be quite painful when they both find out the truth, but that won't be for a while. Gotta establish their relationship first, which is the fun part of the journey. But I'm glad you're here for the ride! MBellicose: Thanks for thinking the story is good! I hope you continue to enjoy. ldsrsc: Hehe, good instincts you got there... ;) Hope you all don't mind this not being a slow burn! My last story was a slow burn, and I want to do something different with this one. .Feathers: I think it's interesting, too. I like having the genders reversed from the movie; it gives me lots of room to be creative! jhsbradford: You're review actually posted as I am writing this. lol. So I hope this update came soon enough for you! :) And I don't mind if readers express that they want an update soon. I don't find it to be pushy. It actually helps me be motivated to sit down and write, knowing that someone out there is invested. So be pushy all you want!
This chapter hasn't been read by my beta yet, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes you find.
Chapter Four: Screw it
Despite having just lost it in front of dozens of people and trying to pick a fight with a total stranger, the only thing Rey could think about was her brother. Images rammed against her mind, the ones where she woke up in a battered car, Poe unconscious in the driver's seat. Blood ran down his cheek, dripping onto his dress shirt. For some stupid reason, Rey had thought of how difficult it was going to be to get that stain out.
She had called out Poe's name, waiting for him to answer her back.
He never did. He never woke up.
When would this end, the despair weighing like concrete in her gut?
Rey marched back and forth in the small office trailer, suffocating, eyes darting around to see if there was something she could destroy. She'd take a sledgehammer to the walls if she could, but that would require her to go back outside and search through the construction site.
She would prefer for the people who worked for her to think she wasn't a complete nutter.
So, that was a no-go on the sledgehammer.
Rey was by her desk when the door swung open. Kay bursted in, and the two women squared off at each other. The door shut on its own accord, quiet, but very much sounding like a bomb in a battle zone.
Kay had loose flurries of hair hanging out of her ponytail, her face flushed from the exertion of running around the zoo. "What the fuck… is wrong with you?" she asked, breathless.
"Me? What's wrong with you?!" Rey yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Kay. "Why didn't you tell me you were trying to fill Poe's position? Instead, you just tell me you hired someone without even warning me first?"
Kay took a few deep breaths, getting control of herself. Tucking the errant hairs behind her ears, she spoke in a much calmer and sensitive tone. "I should've told you about the interviews and candidates, I know that. I guess I was, I don't know, afraid of how you'd react. I'm sorry. But Rey… it's been two years. We needed a board certified surgeon –"
"All the other vets here have been doing fine without one."
"We might have gone to veterinary school, but none of us have the extensive education that would make us great surgeons. Mitaka almost killed Gilly the Giraffe last week!"
"That giraffe is, like, a thousand years old."
"And a favorite among the kids." Kay's voice took on a pleading tone, wanting Rey to see her side of the story. "This zoo needs a person like Ben. And fortunate for you, he's still taking the job. Even after… what exactly did you say to him?"
"That the zoning committee got him this job to screw me over."
Let him screw you… over the arm of a couch.
Rey's mind really needed to stop twisting her connotations into sexual scenarios.
Kay blinked in surprise. "Wow, Rey. You seriously think the council would go as far as to… what? Jeopardize a project they approved of in the first place?"
Rey was unwilling to abate her anger, because without it, Kay would start to make sense. "They pawned the decision off to a stranger!"
"So it wouldn't look like you have control over them by giving into you. If someone else granted you the fifty feet, it's on them."
Rey stayed quiet, shaking her head and chewing at the inside of her cheek.
"Look, Rey… I've been trying to ignore the issue for two years, but I can't anymore. I need more help around here."
The sting in Rey's eyes was a betrayal against the fury she allowed to spread throughout her veins. "So you're moving on? Just like that?"
"Moving on?" Kay took a careful step toward her, treating Rey like a skittish animal ready to bite anyone who approached. "Sweetie, I didn't say anything about moving on. But the world doesn't stop turning just because we lost someone we cared about."
Rey snapped. "Oh, please. Don't stand there and pretend like you gave a shit about Poe."
Kay floundered, mouth falling open. "Excuse me?"
Rey's words were vicious as she let the boiling rage fill her belly, her ears growing hot. "You benefitted the most from Poe's death. You were just an assistant who ran around taking orders from all the vets that ran this place." When Rey saw the hurt in Kay's eyes, she didn't back off, only dug deeper. "But look at you now, head vet of the Primate House and Manager of Affairs for the zoo. Everything worked out great for you, didn't it? You got your payday."
The atmosphere held its breath.
The heated quarrel could've continued; it would've been easy for Kay to say something just as hurtful back at Rey. It would've been a war on words, both women at each other's throats like savage hungry dogs fighting for dominance. Blood would be spilled, feelings hurt.
And by the way Kay glared at her, Rey expected the onslaught. Wanted it, even.
But then Kay's eyes dulled, her shoulders slumped, and her voice barely even a whisper. "It makes me sad to hear something like that come out of your mouth."
That one small comment stirred a hurricane of regret inside of Rey, swift and unforgiving.
Was Rey really that much of a monster that she'd lash out at the one friend who'd stuck by her side these last couple of years?
Kay knew her better than anyone, cared about her more than anyone, but in these infrequent failures to suppress the rage at her circumstances, Rey tore into Kay like only a close friend could. Rey knew Kay's weak spots and deepest pains; she was an easy target.
And Rey had struck with precision.
Kay went to leave. Rey lunged to grab ahold of her arm out of sheer panic. "Kay, wait –"
Twisting out of Rey's grip, Kay whirled around, putting Rey on the offensive. But she didn't yell. No, her tone dripped with pain and disappointment… which was worse. "You know what? You walk around here constantly in a bad mood and snapping at anybody who dares to lend you a hand, but guess what? We all knew Poe. He was my mentor. You don't have a monopoly over losing him; we all did. I understand your pain is more severe than the rest of us, but to actually insinuate that I was dancing on his grave when he died is just sick."
Rey wasn't sure when she started crying. She wiped the tears away with the palms of her hands. "I – I know. I'm so sorry… fuck, I didn't mean any of it. I don't know why I said all of that. I'm just…. There's no excuse. I'm sorry, Kay. Really. What can I do to make you forgive me? I'll do anything. Anything."
Kay eyed her before walking over to the other side of the trailer, leaning against Snap's desk. There was a beat of silence before Kay said, "Come with me on a double date tomorrow night."
Shiiiiiiiiiit.
Leave it to Kay to pounce on an opportunity, regardless of her heart being ripped out and stomped all over.
Rey did a quick shake of her head. "I will do anything… but that."
But Kay wasn't going to give up that easily. "C'mon, Rey. When was the last time you went out? Had some fun?"
While Kay's demeanor was becoming less bitch-I-will-slap-you, Rey couldn't help but try to get out of the hole she'd dug herself into.
"I think you and I have a different definition of fun. See, I was planning on having a Lord of the Rings marathon over the weekend –"
"You need to occasionally grace society with your presence."
"When you say society, I know you mean men."
"So? What's wrong with getting some attention from a guy?"
"I tend to attract weirdos."
"Colin wasn't a weirdo."
"He wanted me to stick a pacifier in his mouth and rock him to sleep."
"He was just… very in tune with his inner child." Rey kept staring at Kay, unwavering. "Okay," Kay relented, "he was probably a serial killer. But I already have a guy lined up for you, and I even heard through the grapevine that he's into you."
"I know him?"
"Armitage Hux."
Oh no.
"The bird trainer?"
"It's actually falconer. He doesn't really like being called a bird trainer, just a heads up."
Great.
Rey was graduating from weirdos to bird trainers. Would she ever attract anyone normal? Ben popped unbidden into her thoughts. Rey tampered the image down, not wanting to deal with the guilt over the way she had treated him. Hell, she didn't even know him.
Her gaze ping-ponged, avoiding direct contact with Kay. "I don't know…."
"If you don't come, I'm gonna hold what you said about Poe over your head for the rest of your life and never forgive you."
Rey glared. "That's blackmail."
Kay shrugged. "Take me to court." But Kay knew Rey would never do such a thing. Not to her.
Rey let out a long, loud groan. "Fine," she finally agreed, her voice lacking enthusiasm.
Kay was in front of Rey in three quick strides, holding out her hand. "You're agreement is binding. No backing out."
Rey rolled her eyes, quickly shaking her friend's hand. "I won't."
"Good," Kay said in a tone that was way too chipper. Looking at her now, you never would've guessed she'd been on the brink of pulling Rey's hair out less than five minutes ago. "Because I have a reservation at The Rogue for 6:30."
"The what? I've never heard of it."
"It's like a restaurant and nightclub all in one." Kay interpreted Rey's scrunched up nose as confusion, when really, the word 'nightclub' was the culprit behind Rey's sour face. "It's not that odd. Honestly, you need to get out more. Should I swing by your place to get you, or –"
"I'll meet you there."
()()()()()
Sitting at the table in the dining room, Ben found himself momentarily enchanted by the light that was shining through the window. It painted a rainbow onto the cream colored walls, a patch of blue and violet that stretched out to show gold and blushed orange. Ben wondered if he could capture such colors on a canvas.
Will, Finn and Rose's five-year-old son, interrupted Ben's thought. "Unca Ben?"
"Sorry." Ben smiled, looking down at the kid sitting in his lap, both of them situated at the dining room table. "Where were we?"
As Ben continued reading Llama Llama Red Pajama, Bre's piano playing could be heard in the background, her practicing sounding a lot like a violent assault against music. Lilly had the Ipad blaring from the living room, her obsession with PJ Masks still going strong.
In the kitchen, Rose and Finn were trying to keep their voices down, but even through all the muttering Ben could tell that they were arguing about something. Maybe it had to do with how Rose almost broke her ankle on the toys littering the floor, or that she had gone into work on a Saturday.
One time, Ben had overheard the heated conversation of whether Finn should get a vasectomy or Rose should get her tubes tied. That had been… an awkward evening.
All in all, it was a usual day at the Johnson household.
"Bre, honey!" Rose called out as she came into the dining room, still in her pencil skirt and blouse from work. "Stop trying to murder the piano." The playing quieted down, but Ben knew it was only a matter of time before it crescendoed.
"I think you have the next Mozart on your hands," Ben joked, but Rose didn't laugh. She started setting the table with plates and utensils, casting Ben nervous glances. "Is everything okay?" he asked.
Rose tripped on the leg of the highchair, but recovered before dropping any of the dinnerware. "Yeah, of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?"
"Because you're acting weird."
Finn came in, setting down a bowl of mixed salad at the center of the oak table with a little too much force. "That's because she invited someone over, sort of as a blind date."
Ben's posture stiffened, eyes bulging. "What? Tonight?
"It's not a 'date'," Rose argued pointedly at her husband. "She's just coming over for dinner."
Ben stood, setting Will on the floor. "I'm wearing sweats!"
Rose smirked, not finding that to be an acceptable reason not to meet someone new. "It's okay. I told her that you've had a rough few years and that you're trying to get back on your feet."
"Rose, she's gonna think he was homeless or something," Finn said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "People don't just wear sweats on a first date unless something is mentally loose."
"It'll be fine," Rose kept insisting. "She understands that people have struggles, and she won't judge Ben for what he's wearing. She's a nun for Godsake –"
"A nun?!" Both Finn and Ben exclaimed.
Rose held up a hand. "An ex-nun. Geeze, what's the big deal? She's never dated, you've never dated."
"Ben will date when he's ready."
Ben weaved his fingers into his hair, holding his skull in hopes of relieving the pounding in his grey matter. "I'm feeling a bit dizzy." But through it all, Ben had enough presence to hear Bre going hard at the piano. Again.
Finn was by his side in less than a second, "Look what you've done, Rose. He'll need another heart because of all this stress."
Even though his heart was racing from a sudden flush of adrenaline tingling throughout his body, Ben found himself saying, "It's fine. I'm okay."
Finn clutched at Ben's elbow, worried he'd fall over. "No, you're not."
Will tugged at Ben's sweatpants. "Do you hate nuns, Unca Ben?"
Ben took a deep breath, patting Will's head. "No, of course not."
"Cuz if you do, you'll go straight to hell."
Finn gasped, his eyes going immediately to Rose.
"No one is going to hell. And Bre, stop with the piano," she said sternly before throwing her hands up in defeat. "God, you try to help someone –"
"Ben, leave while you can," Finn ordered as he dragged him closer to the kitchen. "Go out the back door."
"My bike's out front."
Ding-dong!
Everyone went still.
Little Will's voice cut through the silence. "Oh, shit, the nun is here!"
Finn lunged for his son, attempting to cover his mouth. "Will, don't you dare talk like that."
The kid wiggled out of his father's hold. "It's okay, Dad. Mom said no one's going to hell."
"That's not what I –"
Finn turned to Ben. "Now, Ben. Back door."
"What? No!" Rose protested, rounding the table to get to Ben. "You can't just leave!"
"Always a pleasure Rose!" Ben yelled over his shoulder as he darted through the kitchen and out the rear door, his sneakers hitting the pavement at a dead run. He squeezed himself through the narrow walkway on the side of the house, ducking down so he wouldn't be seen through the windows.
Peeking around the corner, Ben did a double take. Rose must have been misinformed about the whole ex-nun thing, because the woman Ben saw standing on the porch was most definitely a nun, dressed in full garb and all.
What was Rose thinking? Ben wasn't even religious. How would that date even work?
He waited till the nun was inside before darting for his bike and speeding down the road, heading downtown to his condo. Despite everything, Ben laughed. While Rose definitely over stepped into his dating life, Ben should've seen something like this coming from her.
The road he sped down was completely devoid of traffic and passerbys, letting Ben enjoy the cool summer air all on his own. Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, he stopped behind a parked car.
He groaned at seeing the caller ID. "Hey, Dad."
"Ben," his father said, a raucous of background noise making it difficult to hear him. "I need your help."
"Are you at the restaurant?"
"Please, I will do anything, AN-Y-THING, if you get down here and help me cover the bar."
"You're joking."
"Pete and Lana called in sick, so I had to put Jenny in the nightclub, but then Miguel ended up being a no show and now everything has turned into a shit show."
"Who's tending the bar right now?"
"Just me."
"Yikes."
"Exactly." Han went silent as he waited for Ben to give him an answer. Problem was, the last place Ben wanted to be was at The Rogue. Well, second to last. No way he was going back to Finn's tonight.
Han picked up on Ben's hesitancy. "I know it's been a couple of years since you've made drinks–
"Try five."
"–but I'll owe you. Big time."
Ben's hand rubbed at his face. He'd been looking forward to reading the latest issue of Vet-Advantage and playing his Xbox till three in the morning. "Pretty sure my certification is expired."
"I won't tell if you wont."
Ben groaned. Man, he was soooooo gonna regret this. "Fine. But you better remember this when I cash in a favor."
"Whatever you want, it's yours. I swear."
"I just need to swing by my place to change. I'll be there in thirty minutes."
"Thirty minutes?!"
"I'm on my bike. And I live on the top floor of the building. Chill."
"Your bike? How many times have I told you to use my truck whenever you need to go somewhere? Riding around at night can't possibly be safe. And you have enough money to get your own ca–"
Ben ended the call, not in the mood to hear another 'lecture' from his dad.
It wasn't just Han who tended to treat him like a child. His mother, uncle, Lando, Chewie – it was like nothing had changed for them. Even with a new heart and exceptional health, it was as if they thought he was still dying. Some of the glances they'd give him would say as much.
Ben was perfectly fine using his bike or public transportation for getting around. It wasn't like he went a lot of places anyway. Why get a car when he didn't need one? And biking was a great way to get in some added exercise.
He told himself these things as he pedaled home, trying to ignore the real reason why he didn't own an automobile.
Years of living in fear of going into sudden cardiac arrest didn't just go away overnight. Ben still felt like it could happen, even though Dr. Kalonia assured him that his health was stable enough for him to operate heavy machinery. But….
None of them could get it. None of them understood or even tried to understand how he felt. He had attempted at explaining his feelings to his family, but they were just as uncomfortable around emotion as one would be the Ebola virus.
His mother made an effort, he supposed. When Ben had gone through the phase of being a ghost wandering around his apartment, casting no shadows, creating no footfalls, she had noticed.
Unlike Han.
So why help out his old man?
Because even after everything, Ben still wanted his father's affection. At 32, it was pathetic.
()()()()()
Standing on the sidewalk in her black midi-dress and nude pumps, Rey gazed at the double doors that read The Rogue Restaurant. She glanced to the left, seeing a line of people waiting to get inside a different pair of doors, the ones that lead to The Rogue Nightclub. Rey had wondered how a nightclub could also double as a legit restaurant, but now, seeing that they were actually two different places that were situated next to each other, it all made better sense.
You could get your fill of food and sophistication from the fine dining, and then be carefree and wild in less than a minute by hopping next door. And by the look of things, the locals seemed to like that idea.
Rey took a deep breath and went inside.
The restaurant appeared to be completely full. The lounge area was huge, which aided in housing the dozens of people waiting for a table. Heels tapping against the hardwood floors, Rey maneuvered her way to the hostess table just as a frazzled young woman got to the front.
"Good evening," the employee addressed Rey, failing to hide her frantic demeanor. "How many in your party?"
"I'm actually meeting a group. I think they're already here. It might be under the name Connix?"
"I just seated them, actually. I can show you to the table."
Rey followed the young woman, her eyes scanning the inside in more detail. The interior was modern and classy, the light grey walls adorning pictures of places Rey didn't recognize. All the dark walnut tables were taken, and Rey was surprised to see such a wide range of ages dining in a place like this. She passed by an old couple eating side by side, studiously bent over their meals. Another table housed a group of middle-aged women, giggling as a stern woman dining alone nearby looked on and frowned. Businessmen in grey suits all held menus in their hands, trying to decipher the meals as the family next to them argued over which dessert to order.
Small children were absent, the atmosphere a bit too mature for young kids. But Rey did see some that were in the teenager range, and one that was maybe around nine or ten.
The noise level was high due to the guests and instrumental background music, but it didn't irritate Rey. Working at construction sites, she had to be comfortable around loud and obnoxious noises.
"Rey," Kay called out and waved. The woman scooted out of the booth and came to give her a hug, the hostess hurrying back to her station.
As the two women parted, a red haired man stood up and offered Rey his hand. "I don't think we've ever been properly introduced." No, they haven't. Rey had seen him around the zoo, but the two of them had never spoken. She was surprised to hear his accent, though. It didn't sound fake. "I'm Armitage Hux."
Rey shook his hand. It was warm and wet and she inwardly cringed, inconspicuously wiping her palm against her dress once she was seated.
The booth was crescent shaped, with Armitage and Kay's date occupying the middle, and the women on the outside.
"I hear you're from London?" Armitage queried.
"Oh, well, I grew up around there till I was eleven. Then I came to the states. Are you from the area?"
"Surrey. But I always preferred London. More people and things to do, you know?"
No, not really. It'd been years since she last visited England, and most of her memories of London persisted of it being overcrowded, over stimulating, and dirty.
"How do you and Kay know each other?" Rey asked the other man. He stopped himself from taking another bite of a bread stick, crumbs stuck to his thick, but tailored beard.
"This is Hank," Kay said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "We're…"
"She's been my cat's vet for a few years now," Hank explained, wiping his mouth with a napkin, somehow missing the crumbs. "Even when she left for the zoo, I still brought Squeaker to her. Squeaker won't let another vet touch him."
"Yeah, well, I don't want anyone else touching your Squeaker." Kay winked as the men burst out laughing.
Rey was pretty sure she was in hell.
As the laughter subsided, they all switched their focus onto the menus. "Everything is good here," Kay affirmed to the newcomers.
Rey glanced up from reading the appetizers, giving her friend a small grin. "The place looks nice."
"It's okay…" Armitage supposed. "I've never eaten at an Italian/Mediterranean fusion restaurant before. I've never even heard of such a thing."
"I think it's innovative," Rey added, trying to be positive.
"I don't know if I'd use the word 'innovative' to describe some of the food on this menu."
And that was the comment that cemented Rey's suspicion that her date was indeed an outright snob. But her assessment didn't end there.
Rey caught the way Armitage's eyes slid over her body, like he was adding up her pluses and minuses to put into a sexual equation. Usually, Rey didn't care how men looked at her. She worked in a job dominated by men, some of them more interested in measuring their own dicks than putting out decent work. But for the first time in a long time, Rey found herself feeling… uneasy.
"So Rey," Armitage continued, moving a smidge closer to her. "Kay tells me you're an engineer."
"An architectural engineer," Kay piped in, sounding proud. "You know that new building on State Street? That's Rey's."
That perked Armitage's interest. "You own it?"
"No, I designed it."
"Oh," he said with disappointment.
Good, Rey thought. If Armitage saw her as a letdown, maybe his attention would go elsewhere.
"Can I get you guys started –"
Ben Solo, the Ben Solo, the one Rey had berated only yesterday, stood in front of their table in a black buttoned up shirt and dark slacks, his wide eyes fixated on her. And that voice… that voice did things to her that should've been impossible.
Rey's brain short-circuited and struggled to compute how he, of all people, could be here. From the way he just stared at her, it looked like he was going through the same thought process as well.
"Ben," Kay said in surprise, nervously glancing between the two of them. Ben tore his eyes away from Rey, freeing her to go back to looking over the menu when all she wanted was for the leather bench to swallow her whole. "What are you doing here?"
"Hey, Kay," he greeted with uncertainty.
Hank noticed how they were on a first name basis. "You know each other?"
"This is the new vet surgeon for the zoo."
"You're a veterinarian?" Armitage asked before snorting out a chuckle. "So, what, you help animals by day, work as a server by night?"
"I'm actually just helping out with bartending. Your server is a little behind; she asked me to get your drinks –"
"Does being a vet pay so little that you gotta bartend?"
Rey's head turned so fast, that it was a wonder the thing was still attached to her neck. She outright glared at Armitage, opening her mouth and preparing to reprimand him.
But Ben spoke up before she could, not missing a beat. "Thanks for your concern, but I assure you, my salary is perfectly adequate. It's actually been a while since I've last worked here. I'm just working this shift as a fav–"
"I'll have a DVR," Armitage stated, uninterested in what Ben had to say.
To his immense credit, Ben somehow remained polite. "You'll find drinks like that at the nightclub next door. On the back of the men–"
"You're kidding? What kind of drinks do you have then?"
It would appear that Rey's accolades for Ben's cool behavior had been given too soon. Now, having been cut off a few times in a row, the clench in Ben's jaw became obvious and his stare was as uncomfortable as an opera singer's corset. "On the back of the menu, we have a list you can choose from."
Rey had worked as a server at a restaurant before. Even if a drink wasn't on the menu, she knew that if a customer was polite enough that exceptions could sometimes be made.
Which was why she wasn't surprised that Ben refused to be accommodating. And Rey didn't blame him.
Armitage didn't seem to notice Ben's growing irritation. That, or he just didn't care. "What about a Malibu and pineapple, but not too sweet."
"There are literally three things in that glass… kind of tough to change the flavor profile of any of them."
"Three?" Hank asked, confused. "What's the third?"
"Ice," Ben deadpanned.
Rey laughed. God help her, but she did. She couldn't stop herself. Covering her mouth and playing it off as if she had a cough, Rey saw some of the tension in Ben's shoulders loosen as his eyes flickered over to her.
Armitage didn't notice her gaffe. "Do you have American scotch?"
Ben was frozen for maybe three whole seconds before saying, "I don't think that's a thing. Maybe a single malt whiskey –"
"You know what? I'll just start with a water. Do you have bottled water?"
Rey's stomach curdled, like milk meeting the acidity of a lemon. She didn't know how much longer she could endure this exchange. At least Kay was starting to look slightly troubled.
Serves her right for setting me up with a complete asshole.
"We do," Ben answered simply.
"Just don't give me Swiss. I got sick on imported Swiss water once. As long as it's not Swiss or tap water, it'll be fine. Preferably French. I'd like it cold, no ice, no glass, just the bottle and a straw."
Ben's eyes were as immobile as the rest of his face, as if the whole situation had gone so far past being absurd, that he no longer knew how to react. Rey felt a spark of contamination by association that left her embarrassed and flushing red.
Armitage leaned forward. "You want to write that down?"
"Pretty sure I got it. Anyone else?"
Kay ordered a margarita, and Hank went with a Bloody Mary.
Ben saved Rey for last. "I'm fine with a glass of water. No straw." Rey might've been imagining things, but she swore she saw the corner of his mouth twist up before he walked away.
"Can you believe that guy…" Armitage went on, complaining about Ben's lack of customer service, wondering if he could get the guy fired by talking to management.
Rey's hands balled into fists, ready to deck the guy square in the nose if he asked to speak with a manager. Luckily for her date, Armitage decided to let it go. For now.
Through Armitage's incessant whining and whatever subject Kay tried to change the conversation to, Rey's eyes had stayed on Ben as he went behind the bar, unable to look away as he mixed the drinks. There was something to the way he ambled about that she found hypnotizing, like he didn't completely know what to do with his height and broad build, but at the same time, his movements gave off an old-school sex appeal that you'd see in classic movies such as Casablanca.
Or An Affair to Remember.
And people thought Disney movies gave women unrealistic expectations? For Rey, it was Humphrey Bogart and Paul Newman and Cary Grant that ruined modern men for her.
Maybe when she got home, she'd pop in Sabrina – the one with Audrey Hepburn. Rey wasn't a fan of remakes.
An older man passed by Ben, serving drinks to those who were sitting at the bar top. He said something to Ben, and he reacted with an eye-roll.
A phone started to ring, and it took a moment for Rey to realize that the old-time ringtone was hers. She looked at the screen, seeing that it was Snap. "Sorry, I need to take this."
Rey scooted out of the booth and walked toward the back of the restaurant as she answered the call. "Dameron…. Hey Snap…. Uh-huh." She stopped in a semi quiet spot between the restrooms and the partition by the bar, plugging her other ear so she could better hear Snap.
"I'm glad…. So let's call in a favor with Tony… the bricklayer. We'll contract them for five days; they'll do four for me, then one day at the zoo. Either way, they get paid for five like under the original contract…. Who else will be on the clock?"
Rey leaned against the back wall and listened to Snap rattling off names. She glanced over, getting a clear shot of Ben behind the bar, emptying a bottle of Evian water into the sink before refilling it from the tap. As he went to grab a straw, his eyes connected with hers.
Ben went still. Looked down at the water bottle. Then back up at her.
Rey clasped a hand over her mouth, trying to stifle the sudden onslaught of amusement. Ben relaxed, chuckling along with her. The smile they shared sent a thrill down her spine, like they were participating in something secret. Which, she figured, they kind of were. Rey wasn't going to say anything about the water, and Ben seemed to pick up on that.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm still here," she said to Snap. "That sounds great."
With all the drinks organized on a tray, Ben gave her a shy nod before leaving. Rey realized she was still smiling, and couldn't stop. Did… did this shared little moment erase how she acted towards him the first time they met? Were they 'okay' now? Did Rey still need to apologize?
Yeah, bitch, Rey's conscience told her. You yelled at him over an assumption that turned out not to be true.
Rey scooted out of the way of a group of girls exiting from the bathroom. "I'll talk to you on Monday then – wait, Snap? Do me a favor, call me back in three minutes and just ignore what I say…. Thanks."
Rey returned the phone to her purse and headed back to the table. Ben was nowhere in sight, but the drinks had all been passed out. Rey sat just as Armitage took a big sip of water through the straw.
"I bet that's refreshing," Rey commented, no one picking up on her sarcasm.
Armitage sighed in relief. "Such a difference."
The table fell back into conversation, none of which Rey participated in. She read the words on the menu, but she didn't take in any of the descriptions. She was anxiously awaiting Snap to call her back, thinking of all the ways she would make his life a living hell if he didn't follow through.
Just as Rey started tapping her heel against the floor, her phone went off. This time, Rey pounced to answer. "Dameron… Yeah, Snap? Uh-huh…" The others quieted down, watching her. Rey put her high school level acting chops to use. "Well, I'll leave right now. Be there in five minutes…. No, it's not a problem, if I have to be there, I have to be there."
Rey ended the call.
Kay narrowed her eyes. "Where?"
"The Wabash building."
"Tonight," Kay questioned skeptically. "They're working on a Saturday night?"
"Oh, yeah." Rey turned to her date. "I'm so sorry, Armitage, really very sorry. It was nice meeting you, and Hank…" She moved to stand, swinging her purse onto her shoulder. "Please, enjoy your evening and… again, I apologize. If you'll excuse me."
Armitage opened his mouth to say something, but Rey was already bee-lining it for the walkway that led to the front. She sidestepped a man who abruptly pushed back in his chair, and narrowly missed a woman flinging her arms through the air mid-story.
"Leaving already?"
Rey stopped and whirled around, seeing Ben walking away from one of the tables to stand in the aisle. His face had a way of trapping the air in her lungs, and she figured he must be used to women reacting to him in such a way – sudden pause in a person's expression, followed by an attempt at acting natural and plastering on a weak smile.
Because that's exactly what happened to her. "Oh, hi, yes. I just got called to work."
"And your water… tasted fine?"
"Yes, it was delicious." Rey cringed and Ben softly chuckled, both recognizing the awkwardness. But there was something else, a kind of gravity that made them incapable of looking away from one another.
It was like the elongated eye contact demanded a greater degree of physical closeness.
Apologize. Say you're sorry for how you treated him and then maybe you two can move on to… other things.
But she didn't have it in her to bring up the elephant so obviously situated between them.
Rey pointed her thumb over her shoulder, her mouth almost too dry to speak. "Well, I should…"
Ben frowned. "Oh, yeah, of course." Did he not want her to go? But he recovered quickly, flashing her a grin. "Have a good night."
Taking a step back, Rey didn't want to turn her back on him. "You, too." But that's exactly what she did.
()()()()()
With her foot, Rey closed the door to her brownstone, a bag of dog food occupying her hands. BB jumped onto his paws and wagged his little tail, staring at Rey as she kicked off her pumps. The orange color of BB's fur reminded her of the horrible date she had escaped from not even an hour ago.
She prayed she never saw Armitage again, but knew that since he worked at the zoo, a run in with the guy was inevitable.
Her phone vibrated from inside her purse, probably another text from Kay. Rey ignored it as she put her bag on the entry table.
"Hey, boy," Rey greeted and went into the kitchen, opening up the bag. With a cup, she scooped a small portion into BB's bowl and placed it on the floor.
"C'mon, BB."
BB didn't move.
Rey huffed in frustration, motioning for the dog to come over. Still nothing. Grabbing some leftover fried rice from the fridge, Rey bent down and tried enticing BB forward. "BB, let's go. I gotcha some rice. Yummy human food." BB whined, stepping back. "God dammit," Rey sighed.
But then BB suddenly moved toward her, sparking within Rey a glimmer of hope. But just as Rey scooted back, BB went back to his usual 'waiting for Poe' spot at the door.
"C'mon, BB. Stop it. He's gone," Rey lectured as she loomed over the dog, her anger steadily rising. "You can't sit here night after night. C'mon, get up…. Do you think this is what Poe would've wanted? Get up, BB…."
But the dog was as stagnant as Rey's progress of emotionally working through her grief.
Rey slumped down, putting her palm out for BB to easily eat the rice. She scratched behind his ears, too tired to hold onto her frustration.
"You took a few steps toward the kitchen. I guess that's something, right?" Rey stared at nothing in particular, a million memories flashing by in her eyes. She should move and get a place that didn't hold so much sentiment. But that was the reason Rey always stayed:
Sentiment for a brother who was gone.
Eventually picking herself up off the floor, her body shifted to autopilot mode as it searched for things to do to keep her busy.
On nights like this, Rey usually ended up cleaning her room and trying out an entirely new and elaborate Korean skincare routine, pretending like that was the equivalent of getting her life together. It made her feel better… for a while.
Burrowing into her bed, Rey's hair was still wet from the shower, but she was too lazy to put out the effort of blow-drying it. Tomorrow was just a Sunday, anyway. Rey's plans consisted of starting The Fellowship of the Ring and leveling up her Elder Scrolls Online character.
Going through Kay's texts, her friend had started off by laying the guilt on thick, calling out Rey on her promise to go on the date. About an hour after the first text, though, Kay started changing her tune. Turned out, Armitage was a douchebag and Kay actually apologized for setting Rey up with someone so appalling. In Kay's defense, she barely knew him.
Rey let her off the hook, citing that they were now even. Kay agreed.
Firing up Sabrina on her MacBook, Rey skipped around to the good parts, finishing the movie in half the time. Not in the mood to watch anything else, she figured she might as well go to bed.
Except it was only 9:40 at night and Rey wasn't even close to falling asleep. She tossed and turned and adjusted her pillows at least a dozen times. But this time, it wasn't memories of her brother that plagued her. Somewhere in the time after taking a shower and getting into bed, her mind had drifted to Ben.
Where had she seen him before?
Rey kept berating herself for not taking the opportunity to apologize over how they met. She didn't want him to think that she was a crazy person trying to pick fights with men twice her size. First impressions were so important, and Rey had made a mess of hers.
God, she'd been so mean to him. Rey didn't think herself a callous person… but ever since Poe died, her tolerance for dealing with people had plunged into the negatives. Was she stuck this way? Would there ever come a time where she would feel genuine happiness again?
Rey thought of when she caught Ben swapping out the Evian water for tap. It was the first time she had heartily laughed in two years. Maybe even smiled.
And look at that, she was grinning ear to ear just thinking about it.
Screw it.
Rey googled the hours for The Rogue Restaurant – it closed at 10:30. In thirty minutes.
Throwing off the blankets, Rey ran about her room, dressing herself in a plain white tee, skinny jeans, and leather strapped sandals. Her hair… god, her hair. Half up, half down was gonna have to do. Some quick mascara and tinted chapstick and she no longer looked offensively shabby.
She parked her four-door pickup truck in the parking garage a block from the establishment and ran the rest of the way.
She was too late. The restaurant was closed. But the nightclub was still going strong, and there was only three people waiting outside.
Not wanting to give up just quite yet, Rey got in line, vaguely recalling Kay saying something about how the nightclub and restaurant were connected somehow. Maybe Rey could get in that way.
The burly man working the entrance eyed Rey, probably repulsed over her modest attire. But he accepted her ID, stamped her hand, and let her in. Hopefully, Rey didn't run into Kay.
The flashing lights, blaring music, and intoxicated attendees reminded Rey why she never got much into clubbing when she was younger. Everything was too much, hiking up her anxiety into oblivion.
She stayed to the right, not bothering going up on the balcony. Situated on the wall near the lounging area was a door, and to Rey's delight, it was unlocked and unguarded.
The hallway she stepped into was brightly lit and long, and the further Rey walked, the more faint the music became. It must have cost a helluva lot of money to soundproof the walls, but it was an investment well made.
She took a right, another right, walked some more, and then took a left, finally seeing another pair of doors.
"You lost?" a man said from behind, his Spanish accent thick.
Rey stammered over her words. "I – well, I was trying to get into the restaurant… and thought this would lead me –"
"The restaurant is closed," he said with an air of authority.
"Right." Rey almost gave up right then and there, but the tiny amount of courage she had left pushed her to keep going. "I'm not looking to eat or anything… I was just wanting to see if someone was still there. An employee."
"This employee got a name?"
"Ben Solo?" Rey didn't know why she inflected his name as a question. She chalked it up to nerves.
"Ben," the man said, a smile stretching across his cheeks. "You're looking for Ben?"
Rey nodded.
The man laughed, catching Rey off guard. He said something in Spanish before motioning for her to keep walking. "If you go right through those doors, you'll be able to find him."
"He's still here?"
"He should still be restocking the bar. Busy night."
"Okay…" Rey offered him a small wave. "Thanks for your help." She walked the rest of the way down the hall and carefully pushed open the doors, barely making a sound. She heard voices as she crept down another corridor, the hallway opening up to the restaurant.
Tables empty and cleaned, it was a jarring contrast to when she had been there earlier. It was almost eerie seeing a place that had been so lively now look so… not.
She followed the voices, getting a clear shot of the bar. Toward the end, a table had been set up, a group of four older men talking and holding cards.
The African-American man, with a clean moustache and purple velvet blazer, appeared to be the loudest of the group. "Point is we got Frank, Dean, Tony Bennett, Perry Como, Pavarotti, Mario Lanza – how much time you got?"
"Plenty," said one of the other men, smoothing back his grey hair and sporting a lopsided smirk. Rey recognized him as the man who was also bartending with Ben. "You, on the other hand…"
Rey heard the clanking of bottles first before she saw him. A pair of swinging doors opened, allowing Rey to catch a quick glance of the back kitchen before Ben headed over to the bar.
"Ben," one of the older men called out. "Settle something for us, best male singer?"
Ben lugged the box onto the bar top and knelt down, disappearing. "Of today, or when you old farts were alive?"
"Hey, you little –"
Rey decided to let her presence be known. "Dean Martin."
The older men were startled, all of them swerving in their chairs to get a good look at her.
But Rey kept her eyes on the man she came there to see.
Ben comically popped up, a bottle of Corona in each hand. Rey saw the shock register on his face before it morphed into what she perceived as immense relief. A small smile played on her lips at knowing that her being there was probably not going to be a huge waste of time.
"Hey… you came back," he said simply.
Rey shivered, goose bumps and all. It wasn't from what he said; he could've said potato and she still would've had the same reaction.
It was his voice, his low timbre like vanilla pudding, sweet in a seemingly ordinary way until you got a taste. Rich and luxurious and warm. He had to be a baritone at church, or had been asked to narrate books. Do voice overs on Television. Or commercials.
To not record that voice and give it out to the public mass – i.e. Rey – was a crime she needed to rectify.
But first: apologize.