Closet Monsters
by TheBucketWoman
Disclaimer: I do not own Life with Derek or anything else I may reference herein. No profit is being made nor is any infringement intended.
Chapter Four.
Part One: Casey.
Her Mom and George radiated authority. They must have practiced the look in the mirror before they got out of the car.
Mommeeee, Casey thought as she came down the stairs. She wanted nothing more than to bury her face in her Mom's coat, but she knew that it was Lizzie's turn for that.
"She's upstairs," Casey said. "Locked herself in the bathroom."
"Okay," Mom said, pulling Casey into a reassuringly tight hug and kissing her hair. "I'm on it."
Casey nodded, and her Mom let go and headed upstairs. Derek barely managed to squeeze past her on the stairs avoiding the hug she tried to give him. But he always did that, so, for the moment, Mom seemed to content herself with running a hand over his hair and briefly cupping his chin.
"She's in there," Derek said, pointing in the general direction of the bathroom and coming down the stairs.
George had coats in his hands, but he dropped them and pulled Casey over to him with one arm and with the other beckoned Derek closer. Derek stayed where he was, so George pulled Casey along a few feet and grabbed him.
"How are you guys doing?" George asked. "Where's Ed?"
"Hey," Edwin said on his way down. Casey got a good look at Edwin as he came down the stairs. He really looked awful, and it struck her then that his guard was finally down. He'd been so preternaturally calm until that moment, especially in front of Lizzie, and Casey guessed that he just couldn't do it anymore. He was the only one who hadn't cracked so far, and he was pretty overdue. After George gave him his well-deserved squish, he collapsed onto the couch.
Linda, who'd been trying her best to blend in with the walls, came over and ruffled Edwin's hair, trying to be reassuring. He looked up at her blankly, then stared at his lap. As far as Casey knew, Edwin had never been in such a state in his life. It was like someone had stolen his batteries. This was a kid who never saw a couch that he didn't pounce on, one who never heard a corny joke he didn't repeat. This was a kid who tended to start laughing in the middle of arguments because of faces other people made when they yelled, or because he just couldn't stay mad.
Emily came downstairs and announced that Lizzie let Nora into the bathroom.
"Okay," George said. "That's a start."
"And Emily? Linda?" George began. "I can't begin to thank the two of you for being here."
"I only wish that we could've done some more," Linda said. "I made some coffee and we checked on them a couple of times. That's about it."
"Don't forget the soup," Edwin said. Casey thought that his attempt at humor was at least a tiny bit encouraging, even though he'd said it in a flat, dead tone of voice that made her want to wail in pain. Derek looked over at him in concern; he clearly didn't like what he heard, either.
Meanwhile, Derek looked like the ax was about to fall on his head. Like he was about to get yelled at. Come to think of it, George had yelled at him a little bit earlier, over the phone, but not because of anything that he'd done. George hadn't even realized he'd been yelling until it was pointed out to him.
George thanked Linda and Emily again and in another flurry of hugs, they went on their way. It had actually been pretty comforting to have them around, but someone should get some sleep around here.
Mmmm, she thought. Sleeeep. That made no sense, but she didn't really care.
She looked from Derek to Edwin and back again, not knowing which one needed help more. She caught George doing the same thing.
Finally George sat down on the couch next to Edwin.
"Hey," George said, putting a hand under Edwin's chin and turning his head.
That left Derek. He was sitting on the arm of the couch, so Casey stood in front of him and pulled him close. She held him so that his head was on her chest. Once or twice, he's joked about this being his favorite place, being somehow attached to her breasts. It was clumsy flattery, but flattery all the same.
"Love you," she said.
"Love you," he said. "So much. And you smell good."
Casey laughed.
Part Two: Nora.
It's all about looking like you're in charge, Nora thought as she approached the bathroom. Do not freak out, no matter what.
She caught Emily's eye and Emily seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. The feeling was a little bit like being caught in her underwear. Emily smiled at her, nervously and Nora returned the smile and knocked on the door.
"Lizzie, sweetie?" Nora said. "Can I come in?"
She heard the lock click. She tried the knob and opened the door.
Behind her, she heard Emily sigh in relief.
Her first thought when she got into the bathroom was that it wasn't as bad as she expected, but it was still pretty bad. It was all she could do not to hiss with sympathy pain as she looked at the scrapes and the bruises coupled with her baby's wide, red eyes.
It could have been worse, but it wasn't good.
Lizzie sat on the fuzzy pink toilet seat cover, while Nora perched on the edge of the tub. The whole ride home, she'd been thinking about the million ways this conversation could go wrong. She felt (even though she knew how irrational this was) a lot riding on how she handled this. The first thing that came to Nora's mind to say was "Tell me everything," but she really didn't want to order her daughter to relive the worst night of her life so far. Yes, it would be good for her to talk about it, and Nora herself wanted to know. Truth be told, she needed to know. But, really, that was not Lizzie's problem.
"Do you want to talk about it?"Nora said, after a minute.
"I just knocked Derek into a wall," Lizzie blurted. It was the last thing Nora expected her to say.
Nora kept her mouth shut and waited for Lizzie to continue.
"I'm so sorry," Lizzie said. "He was trying to help, and I didn't want him to, but he kept pushing and...what if I really hurt him?"
"He seemed okay just now, sweetie," Nora said. "I just saw him."
"But I could've hurt him," Lizzie said. "That guy tonight. What I did to him."
It would not do to say something about how much damage Nora hoped Lizzie had done to that creep. God only knew how many other women (or children) he hurt. So once again, Nora said nothing.
"I kicked him as hard as I could," Lizzie said. "I was so scared. But I was mad, too. Because he knocked me into the wall, and my dress was starting to fall off. So I kicked him...in the crotch. I ruined that blue dress by the way. And we left it at the hospital. I didn't wanna see it again."
Nora didn't know how these things worked—she'd have to ask George later—but she thought that the police might have taken the dress for evidence. Even though she wasn't raped, they might need it to show the severity of the attack.
"Baby," Nora began. "It won't feel like it now, but none of this is your fault. You did what you had to do to save yourself."
"But is this what I'm gonna be now?" Lizzie said. "Psycho Girl?"
"If you were 'Psycho Girl,' you wouldn't care who you hurt," Nora said. "You are a good, kind person. That is who you are. And you're brave. You saved yourself. Nothing more or less."
"But I just feel so bad!" Lizzie said. "And I can't stop thinking about it. And I hurt Derek. And you guys had to give up reservations and stuff. And no one's getting any sleep and it's all because I'm being a drama queen. And I just can't stop!"
"Lizzie, if anyone else in this family were sick or hurt, would you be willing to help them in any way you could?" Nora asked.
"Yeah," Lizzie said.
"Would you fault them for needing you?" Nora asked.
"No," Lizzie said. Lizzie clearly knew where this was going, but she needed to hear it.
"So why would anyone fault you for needing them?" Nora asked. "This is your family and we all love you. We'd all do anything for you. You do not have to feel guilty for that. You are not to blame. And anyway, the weekend isn't ruined. You're here and you're clearly feeling pretty miserable, but you'll be okay, so I'd call this a pretty good weekend, all told."
Lizzie looked at Nora like she'd stepped off the deep end. Nora smiled like a game show hostess.
"Okay, so the weekend is sucking so far," Nora said. "But so what? It's not the only weekend we're ever gonna have." Even though it could've been, Nora thought. Now that kind of thought is totally unnecessary. She banished the thought from her head. Begone!
"So, Chickpea, do you think you might wanna sleep a little?" Nora said.
"I dunno," Lizzie said. "I guess. Are you sure that nobody hates me for being crazy?"
Nora laughed. "Have you forgotten which family you belong to? It's like those plaques that they put up in offices, the ones that say 'You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps?' We live by the plaque."
She stood up and heard her knees pop as she held out a hand for her daughter. She pulled Lizzie close, and gave her a gentle hug, still not entirely sure where she was hurt. When she asked, Lizzie unzipped her hoodie and allowed Nora to lift up her shirt a little, revealing some ugly purple, but again, not as bad as Nora had pictured on the ride home. Still, it must hurt like hell, Nora thought.
"Did they give you anything for the pain?" Nora asked.
"They gave me some packets of over the counter stuff," Lizzie said, pulling one such sample packet out of her jeans pocket. "I took some before, so I'm okay for now."
"Okay," Nora said. She kissed Lizzie's cheek, then opened the bathroom door, not at all surprised to see Casey and Derek there.
"'Sup," Derek said. He was leaning against the wall, arms folded, like he was hanging out at his locker before class. Casey rolled her eyes. Nora laughed. Only Lizzie still looked painfully serious. She took a step forward, and he unfolded his arms and held them open, eyebrows raised. Lizzie took another step and he hugged her. Nora could just barely make out her whimpered apology to Derek. Later on, after Nora had begun to notice the pattern, Casey confirmed that every other sentence that had come out of Lizzie the whole night had had the word "sorry" in it.
For now, Derek kept whispering that it was okay, everything was okay, in the hopes that eventually it would sink in. At least she wasn't crying at the moment. Nora guessed that she was cried out for the time being.
"Where's Edwin?" Lizzie asked finally.
"He's downstairs, talking to George," Casey said. She and Derek exchanged a look that Nora made a mental note to ask about.
"Okay," Lizzie said. "I'll just go see —"
"He'll come up," Casey said, suddenly. "You shouldn't keep going up and down the stairs. I'll go get him." And she was most of the way down the stairs before anyone could say anything else. Lizzie looked at the spot Casey'd been standing in and shook her head. It almost felt like business as usual.
Part Three: George.
George was getting nowhere. Edwin sat on the couch, staring in the direction of the blank TV screen. He occasionally munched on a fingernail. At least one finger had started to bleed in the time George had been trying to talk to him.
Or, more accurately, talk at him, George thought. He'd been going on and on about how Lizzie had gotten hurt and needed a lot of attention, but that everybody was feeling a lot of pain for her and that it was okay for him to feel that pain and to take some time for himself to talk about it.
No answer.
George asked all the open-ended questions that he could think of, then, once those were exhausted, all the closed-ended questions. He'd settle for a grunt.
And Edwin was the demonstrative one. George expected this kind of shutdown from Derek, who, as much as he tried to deny and repress it, worried too much. The girls usually cried things out and asked for help when they needed it, but the boys...George was a little scared.
"Look at me," George said, crouching down in front of Edwin. Edwin obliged, at least.
"I get that you don't want to talk," George said. "Probably all you want to do is sleep, and that's okay. I'm just bugging you right now because I don't want you to think you have to keep anything inside. I know you, Ed. I know how much you love Lizzie, and I'm sure that you've just done an excellent job of helping her thus far. Now you can relax. Okay?"
No answer.
"Okay, Ed?" George asked.
"Yeah," Edwin said.
"So what are you gonna do?" George said.
"Relax?" Edwin said. George guessed that that was an attempt at humor.
"Just promise me that you'll ask for help when you need it, okay?" George said. "Seriously. Promise."
"No pressure," Edwin said.
"Ed," George said.
"Yeah, I know," Edwin said.
"Do you promise?" George asked. "I want you to say the words."
"I promise," Edwin said. It would've been more convincing if he'd had a facial expression since the conversation began.
"Okay," George said. "You're doing great. That's enough of my nagging for now." He'd been about to say something else, but he saw Casey on the stairs.
"What's up, Casey?" George asked.
Casey looked at the floor. "Um," she said. "Nothing." She turned to go back upstairs, but seemed to stop herself and turn back.
"What is it?" George asked. "How's Lizzie doing?"
Edwin looked up.
"Better," Casey said. "She's gonna try to sleep again."
"Well that's good then," George said. He looked down at his watch "It's only—a quarter to four, look at that."
Edwin slid off the couch and started for the stairs.
"Going to bed, Edwin?" George asked.
Edwin said nothing. Casey exchanged a worried look with George, then followed Edwin upstairs.
George thought that he and Nora were going to have to look into counseling for all the kids. In the morning, he'd do some research, and on Monday, he'd make a few calls.
Part Four: Casey.
Edwin clunked slowly up the stairs and stopped a little short of Lizzie's room. He took a deep breath and knocked on Lizzie's door jamb. Then it was like someone flicked Edwin's switch back on.
"Hi," he said.
Lizzie had finally taken off the hoodie and changed into some pajama pants. She was sitting up in bed, and when Edwin came in, she patted a spot on her comforter for him to sit down. He did.
"It is so past our bedtime," Lizzie said. "We're gonna be cranky all day tomorrow."
Edwin laughed. "Yeah," he said. "People're gonna mistake us for Casey and Derek all over the place. Brace yourself."
"I heard that," Derek called from his own doorway.
"You were supposed to," Edwin called.
How did he do that? Casey thought. He'd just completely reanimated himself. She looked over to see if Derek was as shocked as she was, but his face didn't give much away. He put his arm around her and marched her the couple of steps to Lizzie's room.
"You hear that, Case?" Derek asked. "Is this what the world is coming to? I, for one, worry for future generations, 'cause there's just no respect for elders anymore."
It was, Casey understood, her turn to pretend that everything was okay.
"Nope," she said, not thinking she'd fool anyone. "No respect at all."
"Then again," Derek said. "That's just business as usual for you." His eyes pleaded with her to play along for a minute.
"Like celibacy for you?" Casey said.
Edwin laughed. "Ooooooooh?" he said.
Derek stuck out his lower lip. "Mean," he said. "All of you, mean! I'm gonna go to my cold bed and listen to some emo, now."
"This would be different from last night, how?" Edwin said.
"Mean," Derek repeated."Lizzie, tell him to be nice to me!"
"Yeah, whatever, be nice to him and stuff," Lizzie said.
"Thank you," Derek said. "That warms my heart."
"Okay, guys?" Casey said. "I'm sleepy and that means you all gotta shut up. Say good night to Lizzie, Edwin."
Predictably, Edwin said. "Good night to Lizzie, Edwin." He leaned over and gave her a peck before he was dragged away.
"Love you," Edwin said.
"Love you," Lizzie said.
"Yeah, yeah," Derek said. "Kiss, kiss, mush, mush. Bedtime."