MEMO: I've got to say this is the most discouraged I've ever been on fanfic from the number of reviews last chapter-
It's like the same amount I had when I first published my first chapter to my first story back in June-
That story is complete and all now- and with over 150 reviews, but that was a long time ago and I never had that low of reviews from any chapter ever again-
Congratulations- You've made a new record of lows for me-
I'm sorry, lol but I am NOT happy with the current number of reviews I've been getting!!
I spend like forever making a new chapter for you guys and it seems like you don't even care since no one even bothers reviewing-
NOTE: I'm going away on break from Wednesday to the fifth of January, and I won't have computer access there-
And so Happy Holidays to you (or happy vacation!!) and Happy New Year to all of you!!
Song for Last Chapter: Forever Bitten got the song for the last chapter- "Crazy" by Alanis Morisette
Dedication: This story is definitely for my number one supporter- Loveatfirstsite2 (go read her story- it's awesome and better than mine)- Thank you so much, and you don't have to tape the next Smallville episode for me- it's an old one unfortunately…lol
Disclaimer: HA!!
And the lyrics belong to Evanescence for "My Immortal."
Bella's View-
Im so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
cause your presence still lingers here
And it wont leave me alone
"Bella," the old man began, "are you allright honey? You haven't been seeming too…too great these past few days. Can you tell me what happened?"
"Of course nothing happened Daddy," I giggled, seeing his red face swell to purple. This man-my father I think-, seriously needed to lose weight. It was no wonder they called America an obese nation…with all those people having such big bellies, I wondered why there weren't more little babies to play with! "Daddy," I said, 'are you having a baby?"
His face got redder, much to my amusement, I started laughing. It had been doing that a lot lately- I didn't know why though, because I didn't know what I'd said that was so embarrassing! "What makes you think that Bella?" he froze.
These wounds wont seem to heal
This pain is just too real
Theres just too much that time cannot erase
"Bell-la,' I repeated, trying to confirm with him if that was what he was saying. "Bell-la," as he nodded. "It sounds like 'No-elle' that Angels song I keep hearing," I giggled, "like some guy said no to a girl called Elle! And Daddy," I frowned, "you keep getting bigger every day, this has to be the only reason, doesn't it?" I asked, confused.
"Only women can get pregnant," he gulped, still watching me frozen.
"Not really Dad," I shook my finger, "maybe we're like ostriches and males can get pregnant too. We never know, maybe we're having another evolution!" I reveled.
"I don't think so Bella," he shook his head. I didn't get why he wasn't understanding.
"We could be Dad-ty," I sounded out disapprovingly, "you never know. I bet gorillas didn't know when they were becoming less hairy either,' I shook my head.
"That's what scientists say Bella," he tried again, his face clenched, "God doesn't like that idea."
"I don't know God Daddy," I wrinkled my nose at the thought. "God's always too busy playing with his son Jesus. He never took the time to meet me."
"Playing how Bella?" he asked. Why didn't he ever understand, I wondered?
"I don't know,' I put out my hands in question. "They're probably playing with God's wife Hera or Mary or something like that- they can never get the name right!"
"Go touch that cross over there Bella," Charlie motioned with his head, nodding towards the fireplace where the cross was hanging.
"That cross,' I asked, confused to why he would ask that.
"Yes Bella,' he nodded his oaf-looking head, I thought disapprovingly. He really did need to work out- like someone else I vaguely remembered…that's how the normal person was supposed to look like. Though I couldn't remember that person's name, I still remembered that person wasn't this fat- my father shouldn't be this fat either. Imagine, I wondered, if he had another kid- what if, because of the evolution, that kid would be really ugly and big too?- like Charlie?
When you cried Id wipe away all of your tears
When youd scream Id fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
"Why?" I asked him.
"Just do it Bella," he said, motioning once more. His big face, I noticed, was strangely calm. His eyes were the exact opposite. I wondered if he was about to have a stroke. Oh, I wondered aloof, that WAS a pretty funny idea- move and move around like he was dancing. This way he could probably lose a few pounds and his face would look a bit like that more beautiful face I remembered- angular and inhumanly beautiful.
I did though, anyway, not wanting to look repulsed at his face anymore- the only one I'd seen in the past quite a few days. He wasn't letting me leave the house for some reason.
Walking over to the cross, I gently placed my hand on it, and didn't bother turning around to look at my "dad." His voice was enough to set me off and make me angry. Only one voice mattered- and this voice wasn't his. "Now tell me why Daddy?" I asked, shuddering to myself if evolution had already taken place and I'd be that big, have such an off voice.
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now Im bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
"Have you ever seen Emily Rose?" he asked, his voice and tone a bit off it's usualness. It still didn't manage to match even close to the wonderfully beautiful and melodious one, not even a fraction. Probably wouldn't ever.
"I think so," I pondered, recalling the story of Annelise Michel. "Based of a young Bavarian girl who was possessed in the mid- 1970's, correct?" I asked.
"Yes Bella," I could hear him shaking his head. It made too much air gush my way, I began heaving, such bad air that would probably make me that big…
Such a horrendous thought. The boy I was remembering, and some of the other people related to that boy were small and had good voices.
This person didn't. I knew I had to belong to those people, though I didn't remember who those people were.
"Why did you want me to touch the cross then?' I asked, slightly irked.
"Nothing Bella," he shook his head nervously. "I have to go to work now Bella, be careful not to leave the house."
He was lying, I knew. The house had alarms to set him off if I left, I knew. He had just gotten back from work and had started questioning my cleaning less than ten minutes ago, I knew. He wanted to leave me- to get away.
I knew this part as well.
That he didn't want to stay with someone like me.
That he thought I had too many meds, or was nervous about meeting Renee in Jacksonville this week.
That he wanted to get away, far, far away and was trying to sign up for night duties.
Trying to drug me to go to sleep, and stay asleep until his work started.
He didn't want to be with me.
I didn't know why.
"Bye Daddy," I chirped, seeing him run out of the house, hearing the engine rev, and within less than two minutes. If only the old man did this faster- he could be skinnier. More normal looking. More like them looking.
I resumed cleaning, humming to myself, notes unrecognizable.
Five minutes later, I was interrupted- the doorbell rang.
Someone was here, I giddied. Hopefully, I thought, it was that boy I wanted to be with so bad- hopefully, he was back.
Hopefully, I thought, he was here again- wanting to be with me.
After leaving me so many times already.
It wasn't him.
Instead, I saw, it was a girl- about my age plus a year or two looking. The first one, the normal kind, that I'd seen that looked fine. Her voice was okay, and not hideous, her looks weren't making her fat. Vaguely, I remembered her from somewhere.
Remember being with her sometime.
But she wasn't the boy.
To hell, she wasn't.
And he was the only one that mattered.
These wounds wont seem to heal
This pain is just too real
Theres just too much that time cannot erase
"Can I help you?" I asked the spiky-looking hair girl, standing the doorway.
"It's me- Alice,' she said, that note of her name sending a flicker through me.
"Alice?" I asked, a bit irked that I didn't remember where I'd heard that name before.
"Bella?" she asked, looking at me- Bella, I suppose- with a look of astonishment on her face. "Charlie wasn't kidding then, I suppose," she murmured to herself. Why was she talking about the big man, I wondered, she- a normal person- why was she talking about such a non-normal person, a person who wasn't as beautiful as her or whose voice wasn't as soft and swerving as hers?
"Is there anything I can help you with, Al-lice?" I asked, giggling to myself inside that if spelling out her name, it would sound like she had lice! Of course though, I knew, there was nothing wrong with lice. They were just as normal to humans as fleas were to dogs, so why did people have such concerns over them? It wasn't until a few centuries ago that the Europeans had even started showering, adapting that tradition from India.
"Are you on drugs?" she asked, sniffing me.
"Of course not!" I exclaimed, not knowing how this stranger, totally normal person, thought she had the right to do this! And though, I knew, only normal people were able to tell what type of blood others had, and were able to sense what was in it. I had given Charlie the drugs, I wanted to say to her, but knew to test her to make sure she was normal- she had to pass this.
She passed.
"Why did you leave Edward then?" she asked, looking past me, not wanting to look at me.
"Edward?" I asked, that name striking a cord for a second, then flickering away. 'Like in Pride & Prejudice," I asked. "That Edward?"
"Yes," she nodded in agreement- or astonishment-, "that Edward. Good-bye Bella,' she murmured, taking the door's handle from me and closing it herself.
"How strange,' I said to myself, resuming my chores. I wondered who Edward and Alice once were- part of my old life I knew. A life I had nothing to do with anymore, a life that didn't need me, and neither- I suppose- did this life.
But suicide, I knew, was wrong. Not an option.
This was the only option, not waking up.
Not knowing.
It was easier than the truth.
Ive tried so hard to tell myself that youre gone
But though youre still with me
Ive been alone all along
Edward's View-
"What did you do to her?" Alice asked, approaching me.
"I don't know,' I whispered, still watching the house intently.
"You had to do something," Alice continued to argue. "Did you drug her or something- but I didn't smell anything then. What made her leave you?" Alice asked again.
And again, I shook my head in confusion.
I didn't know why.
"She doesn't even recognize you,' Alice said to me. "You have to tell me why at least.'
"I don't know Alice," I gulped, knowing it was the truth.
I honestly didn't.
What, I wondered, had happened to me- or to her.
What was it, that I had done, that made her do this- leave me.
Forget about me.
And to Charlie, his thoughts were once again the same.
This was Bella, the first time I had left her.
So why, when I was actually here, was she believing that I was gone once again. Was never here in the first place.
Was part of her old life.
A part of her old life that I wasn't allowed to be a part of anymore.
When you cried Id wipe away all of your tears
When youd scream Id fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
The Bella I had once known, disappeared that day.
I didn't know how long though, how long this would last.
If it would be temporary, for a few years- just enough for her to forget about me, or for forever.
I didn't know what I had done.
And I knew, on my part, that this was typical.
That this was my fault.
And she had, at last, recognized how right I had been before, and how wrong I was.
Smiling to myself, I allowed Alice to take me home.
NOTE: Bella's lost it- and will stay this way.
Instead, this time- she's forgotten all about Edward like she was on the brink of doing in New Moon.
Remember??
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Happy Holidays and New Years to all of you (or just vacation!!)- and thanks to Loveatfirstsite2 again (read her story!!)
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PLEZ??