Chapter 4: Christmas Eve

Demelza was waiting for Ross to get back from Wheal Grace to see Jeremy like he did every night. After he left her that afternoon without even a glance she was again in a turmoil of emotions, the kind of which she had not permitted herself to feel since the day she left Nampara. She was resolved that day, determined to start a new life away from the place that had been her home since she was barely more than a child. But now she had an opportunity to have another life, a one truly different to the one she lived until now. A life without Ross. If she went with McNeil she knew she would never see him again, and the idea fill her with anguish. She had to talk to him, to tell him that she didn't want McNeil that what had happened that night wasn't because she felt something for him but because she was blind with pain and hate. Hate for him, Ross. And that nothing had happened that afternoon, she'd be glad if she never saw him again. But it was getting late, and Ross didn't come to see his son.

Perhaps he was delayed in the mine, or had gone to town. He hadn't missed one single day since she left. Demelza ate alone with Jeremy, it was the time of the day when Prudie was at Nampara, and she would be back in any moment to spend the night with them. She put the child to bed, job that Ross used to do and her child reminded her of it. When Jeremy finally fell sleep and she could go down to the parlour again, Prudie was already there, a bottle of rum in her hand.

'Didn't you see Ross in your way back? He didn't come to say good night to Jeremy…'

''E be at Nampara. 'E be there for hours, locked in 'is library, didn't want t' be disturb.'

'Oh'-was all she could say.

'I did tell 'ee not do the same tha' the goose. Tis never end well'

Demelza gave her a biting look.

'Stay with Jeremy.'

And she went to Nampara.

She didn't think she would be there again. The front door was half open, there was no fire in the parlour's hearth so it was very cold inside and dark, the curtains from the windows closed and no candles lit. Garrick had followed her back to their old home, he practically opened the door to the kitchen and the glow from that room illuminated the darkness. He went to sit by the fire, but Ross wasn't there either. A bright line of light shone under the door of the library, Demelza slowly walked there and quietly knocked the door twice before stepping inside. Ross was on his feet next to his desk, he had been working and stood to see who was calling, it surprised him to see Demelza.

'What are you doing here? Is Jeremy alright?'-He was sharp, still angry for the afternoon events.

'Yes, yes. He was calling for you, he didn't want to go to bed without seeing you, but he's sleep now.'

'Then what do you want?'

She didn't expect the bitterness in his voice and she didn't like it, it was not fair. And now she was not so sure why she had come.

'How is your hand?'-she said.

'It's fine.'

Both of them remained silent for a while, looking at each other without understanding what the other was thinking. Eventually Ross raised both hands in questioning

'Is that all?'

'Yes... No... Why are you so upset?'

'Why? You ask me why?! Do you recall what happened today? Do you remember that I got you with that ridiculous soldier?'

'Got me? Doing what?! I was having lunch...'

'With another man. A man that if I don't badly record you slept with!'

'I didn't sleep with him Ross, I told you... and besides you have not right to... to'

His anger offended her, she was baffled by it as she was sure she didn't expect him to be so cross.

'Oh yes! I have every right! You are my wife and you should respect me and honor me...'

'Like you honored me?'-Demelza meant to leave but Ross caught her by her arm and turned her around, carrying her a few steps inside the room again.

'You can't do whatever you please Demelza, you have duties to your son, your home and to me. You can't go around in the village pretending to be something that you're not qualified for, nor going around common folks like you were still a miner's daughter. And least of all you can't encourage that stupid soldier to come here to take what is not his...'

' .Go. I didn't encourage nobody Ross. Is that what Elizabeth did? Encouraged you and give you hope until you felt you had the right to take her?'-He let her go. The name of Elizabeth always created a hollow between them. He was still very close to her and she could see him struggling to keep his old demons behind. But now it was her who was vexed again, the feeling of worry and distress forgotten.-'He came to apologize if you must know.'

'Apologize for what?'

'He... it doesn't matter anymore Ross. I have to go.'

'For what Demelza, tell me.'

She sighed before telling him- 'For his behavior the night of the Bodrugan party... he didn't act so gentile...'

'What do you mean? I thought you told me you invited him to your room?'

'Yes, I did. But then I didn't, and he didn't like it when I told him I did not want to be with him after all and he was kind of insidious...'

Ross felt his rage rise again.

'Oh God, I should have killed him!... I will. Where is he staying?'-and he grabbed her by the arm again.

'No Ross!'

'No?! Are you defending him? Tell me where he is...'

'Yes Ross, I am defending him. He made a mistake, I provoked him and he made a mistake, but it was not only his fault.'

'You've forgiven him? A stranger that tried to take advantage of you and you've forgiven him? While I... Why Demelza?'

'Because he said he was sorry and he apologized properly to me and I can understand why he did it, that's why. And because I don't care about him, he's not bound to me in any way, I didn't call for him to come and I don't mind where he goes. We were just having lunch!, you know that was actually what I'd came to tell you before you started with your little wrath.'

His mind went blank.

'Demelza, I...'

'Don't say anything Ross. I'm afraid nothing you could say will make this situation better... What's that?'-She pointed a plate over the desk with some indistinguishable food on it. Ross slowly followed the direction of her finger.

'That's... that's my dinner, I think Prudie is trying to poison me little by little. Demelza I didn't...'

'Right'

Demelza turned around and left him in the middle of the sentence.

He didn't follow her immediately, even when he thought it was too late for her to walk alone in the dark, but then he heard Garrick bark in the kitchen and he wondered what could have detain her after she was so resolved to go back to her cottage.

Before he went in the kitchen he heard familiar noises coming from there, he waited for a little time in the other side of the door spying through the opening between the door and the frame like he used to do many years ago, when they just got married and he was trying to figured who was that creature who he just swore to spend the rest of his days with. The same or maybe another wild creature was there tonight. She had got an apron tied to her waist and she had pulled up her hair with an old ribbon that she must found over there. Unheard words came to his ears, first he believed her singing but then words like 'how does he think…' and 'the only thing I'm good…' came clear to him. He stepped into the kitchen cautiously, like she really was an animal who would run away or attack him if felt threaten.

'Demelza, what are you doing now?'-he said as quietly as he could.

'What does it look like? I'm making you dinner, because apparently that's the only thing I am good for you…'

'I didn't say that, what I …'

'No no, of course not. Also I can take care of your child and your household.'

'Our… home. You don't have to do this.'

'Well, please make up your mind, isn't this what you want?'

'No, not like this. Not if you don't want to.'

Demelza's hands stopped mixing the dough she was preparing to make a pie and looked at his husband.

'You can't eat that in Christmas Eve.'

She almost looked like the young urchin girl who made her first pie on her own so many years ago, and Ross missed her dearly, and he also missed his friendly wife, the one who would stayed up until late at night waiting for him to return from wherever the occasion had took him.

'Will you stay to dine with me?'

Ross didn't notice the glass and the decanter full of port that Demelza had pour herself and that she had started to drink before she began cooking.

'If you wish to'

'You should stop drinking Demelza.'-Ross said in the middle of the dinner. While Demelza was baking the pie, he had lit the fire in the perfectly working hearth of the parlour and they were now sitting as far apart as she managed to do it, eating.

'Should I? Why? Do I embarrass you?'

'No, but you won't feel good in the morning.'

Demelza didn't stop, she drank in one sip the glass of port she was holding and in a defiant way took the decanter and served herself another. After quickly drinking that one too, she brightly smiled at him, and then made a brooding face just like the one Ross was doing, mocking him.

'Stop it.'

'Stop it' -She replied coping his low tone. And laughed again, the alcohol making her feel lightly and cheerful in a way she hadn't felt in months, years.

' Why? Why should I do what you say?'

'Because I'm a man and still your husband.' -He stated.

'A man... mmm... I was never very good in obeying to the man I was supposed to. Perhaps because the man who should to take care of me hurt me instead of that...'

'Demelza...'

'I'm talking about my father Ross, don't fret.' -He remained silent while she poured another glass.

'But I suppose you are a victim of his too, if he hadn't done the things he's done I would never had come here and you would have married a rich heiress, one that would obey you and wait for you patiently every night while you played around with Elizabeth.'

'Don't say that, you know...'

'Oh yes, I know, I must understand, yes, you're my husband and I am part of you and I shouldn't do nothing that reflects poorly on you.'

'Would you please stop pouring that decanter into your glass!'

She smiled at him again and he was taken aback by the way she looked at him, she was clearly still angry but there were something else in her eyes.

'I don't think is fair that a woman should be abided to the husband in such a way. Why can't a woman be free even if she's married? Why can't she speak her own mind and do what she want? The world would be such a better place if it would be rule by women.'

Ross frustration was slowly replaced for amusement by the ramblings of his wife. Even after six years, nine since he'd known her, she could still surprise him. Who wouldn't like to live in a world ruled by her?

Demelza noted the half smile in his face, and suddenly stood up still holding the glass of port in her hand.

'Do I amuse you?' -She asked him.- 'Because I'm serious.'

'I know you are.' -He said trying not to laugh.

'If women would be in charge there be no wars, no killings in name of justice... there would be honesty and love... You know who would be a good politician?'

'Who?' -He asked still amused.

'Margaret Vosper.'

Ross's face turned to stone in less than a second.

'What's the matter Ross? Do you know her? Of course you do... She talked to me at the party. You see... she took what she wanted from you and doesn't regret it, and you, what do you feel about her Ross? Shame? Regret?... I wish that I could be like her...'

'I wish not.'

'... Say what I think...'

'I believe you are already doing that.'

'...do what I want...'

'And what do you want?' -He said roughly, turning to her but without standing.

Demelza stood in the middle of the parlour looking at him. This man who she was supposed to obey and that had betrayed her, hurt her in such a way that she didn't know if she would ever be able to recover, but still... what did she want?
Demelza left the glass on the table, walked until she was in front of him and bent to raised her skirt above her knees, she then sat in Ross lap, one leg in each side of his and before he could even realized what was happening she kissed him passionately and unrestrained on the mouth.

Ross tried to speak between her lips.

'Demel...' -but she didn't let him. She grabbed his waistcoat to hold him close and then she run her hands through his chest and his long neck until she reached his black and untamed curls.
He was gasping in surprise and because he was invaded by the feeling of his wife, after so many months, but she was...

He unclasped her hands from his head and didn't let go of them. Then he bent his head back away from her, never stopping looking at her.

'Demelza' -he said -'what are you doing?'

'What? You don't want me anymore?'

It was the look of despair in her eyes that startled him. It was not the port she have been drinking the sparkles that became tears at his silent.

'I knew it, I knew it!' -She started to struggle to release her hands from his.

'You don't want me anymore, not after her.'

She was trying to stand up, pushing at his chest, but he didn't let her. His arms surrounded her, keeping her close. He knew she had had too much to drink, her face was pink and he could feel the beat of her heart in her chest and the smell of alcohol in her breath.

'You don't…'

'Yes I do, Demelza. I want you'

He run his fingers around the nape of her neck to hold her still and gazed down at her. Restraint be damned. He leaned down and kissed her lips fiercely, her cheeks, her neck, and everywhere he could reach.

'Demelza… I love you' –he murmured against her mouth.

Suddenly he got up, pulling her to him, the whole length of his body against hers, and without releasing her or stop kissing her, Ross started to move both of them towards the stairs.

'Bed… room' –he said when he could take air.

Her arms were holding his shoulders and her hands ran through his hair. And she laughed in his lips when they almost fell in the first step, neither of them looking where they were going. He finally took her in his arms and Demelza shrieked in surprised, but then she kept kissing him and began to unbutton his waistcoat.

When they reached the master bedroom Ross's hair was a mess and Demelza's lips were already swollen from his kisses. He knew he was being rough but she ignited something inside him, a fire was running through his veins, in a way she'd never done before. He wanted her, oh yes, he desired her more than ever and if he had hesitated just a moment ago now he wasn't able to stop. After so long…

'You don't have an idea of how much I want you Demelza. You want me?'

'Yes.' –She said softly and started working on his breeches.

They moved towards the bed, both urgently working on the other's clothes. Off were her gown and his shirt, and they laughed again when Demelza was trying to caress his chest while he was undoing her stays. Once both were naked Ross had to step away and look at her, take her in. A part of him still couldn't believe she was there, the other part felt at home with her familiarity. A part of him, she was always a part of him. He craved to be inside her.

He reached up to her once more and ran his fingers down her cheek to her shoulders. And he kissed her again and again, holding her tight, demanding her everything she denied him in the last few months. They were both moaning when the back of her knees touched the bed… but Demelza didn't lay her back on it, instead she grabbed her husband around his waist and turned them both around, pushing Ross to lay down over the blankets.

'Wha…'

But Ross didn't have time to say anything. Demelza was reaching over him, one knee in each side of his body, trailing kisses up his belly, her tongue dipped into his navel, kissing him all across his torso. His skin was burning, his Demelza… How could he ever do such a thing? But his reverie was cut off by her lips in his, her tongue clamoring his attention.

Suddenly she sat up and moved above his erection, and slowly, so heavenly slow she sank in him. His hands reached for her waist, her hips and then stroked her breasts while she moved up and down in him, easy at first, his hips moving to meet her thrusts faster each time. He watched her close her eyes and groan, and he couldn't take anymore and sat up closing his lips around her nipple and tugging, moaning her name while he came.

Demelza awoke the next morning with a headache and very warm. Half of Ross body was laying a top of her, one of his legs between hers, his arm covering her like a quilt. She couldn't remember what exactly had happened the night before, but her nakedness and his husband manhood on her hip leave no room for speculation.

Next Chapter: How did you meet her?

AN: Thank you all for reading and like this story. I have to say sorry again for the lack of vocabulary or any grammar mistake, I try to do my best but I know is far from being perfect.

I wrote this chapter so long ago, I think it was the first I wrote from this story, I hope you had enjoyed a bit of Romelza.