Unnecessary Authors Note #1 : Hello. I decided to put an unnecessary author's note here because quite honestly, I'm bored. Yes that's right. I don't like Chinese food but sometimes I'm all right eating at McDonald's.
Anyways, I decided to include an extra chapter, as it was actually shorter than all the other chapters preceding it, and that it didn't have anything to do with an obsession. I decided to take in a recommendation from Uchiha Nara. and this is the extra chapter leading up to the main chapter.
It should be pretty apparent what Lelouch's next obsession is by the end of this story.
Thanks for reading loyally thus far, and I hope you all stick around!
P.S - I have a serious case of writers block, sorry if this chapter was a bit blah.
EXTRA CHAPTER #1 - Worst Buy
"Come on, Lelouch. We're almost there, buddy!" Suzaku quickly put a leash around Lelouch's leather doggy collar, tugging it gently once applied to get him to follow. Perfect scenario to start an M rated yaoi fanfic, right? Yes. But, alas, this is not a yaoi fanfic, it is a lame T rated humor fanfic.
"Woof!" Lelouch barked.
Suzaku dragged Lelouch through the automatic door entrance of the big blue and yellow looked up as he saw the store's logo. It was a yellow tag, torn into two pieces, with the black letters "Worst Buy" printed on top of it.
"That's odd... I thought this was Best Buy..." Suzaku stopped. "Oh well."
Soon, he was inside of the building, Lelouch behind him.
"Welcome! Do you need help with anything today?" An employee greeted Suzaku with a smile.
"No, thanks, I'm already taken." Suzaku continued to walk, Lelouch on the leash shortly behind him. The clerk took one look at Lelouch, walking on all fours, and stopped Suzaku quickly.
"I'm sorry sir; we don't allow dogs into our store." he said with a frown. "I eat babies."
"Oh... Okay. Sorry, means that you're going to have to wait in the car. It'll only be a while. Promise." Suzaku bent over and undid the leash from Lelouch's collar, allowing him to freely run back to the car.
"Arf..." Lelouch sadly barked.
With his tail between his legs, Lelouch walked back to the car, opening the backseat door to allow himself in. He hopped in, sat down, and patiently began to wait for Suzaku to come back with the memory card he intended to purchase in this whole trip. It was getting hot, and Lelouch started to pant. Summer heat sucks. In order to keep himself entertained, he saw a little device in the top corner of the car. It had the words 'ON-STAR' written on it.
"ON-STAR?" Lelouch questioned. He then noticed a button and decided to press it. There was a beep before a voice began to speak.
"Hello, welcome to ON-STAR. Is there something I can help you with today?" the kind and friendly female voice said.
"...Heya." Lelouch said, chill.
"Uh... Hi. Did you need something?" the voice inquired.
"Hmm... Well no, not really. I just y'know, wanted to chat. Do you like to take long walks through the park?" Lelouch said.
"...Uh..." the voice said, flabbergasted.
"...So, uhm. Come here often?"
In the next second, the noise of an ON-STAR call being dropped emitted from the device. Lelouch then realized something. He got dumped over ON-STAR, the company that was supposed to help you with all of your traveling needs. It was a FML moment, indeed. Lelouch sunk to his chair and began to pull out his guitar from the back of the car, singing a sad song about his most recent heartbreak. "Wake me up, when September endddssss"
At that instant, a perfect HBO-style family of four walked past the car, stopping to look at Lelouch from outside the car.
"Look mommy! There's a doggy in that car!" the perfect little 8 year old daughter yelled. The boy next to her, also perfect, gasped just like your typical bad and untrained child actor.
"Let's eat it!" the boy suggested.
"Awww... Poor thing... He looks overheated." the always sympathetic young, blonde, and sexy HBO mom said.
"I'll fix that!" the 2-jobs-a-day-in-order-to-support-his-family dad came over with an iron rusty pry bar (Why was he walking around with that?) and shattered the window open. Whatever be the reason he was carrying a pry bar around with him for, I have no idea, dear reader, and I probably don't want to know, either.
"Be free, little buddy! BE FREE!!! RUN WITH THE WIND, RUN TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT!!!" the dad yelled as he threw the pry bar on the ground next to him.
Finally, Lelouch was free. He ran over to the automatic doors and practically flew into the store, so fast, that the clerk couldn't even catch him. Once past the entrance, Lelouch found Suzaku over by the memory card area, talking to one of the salesman.
"Suzaku!" Lelouch wailed.
"Oh, what's that, Lassie? Kallen locked herself in the bathroom again?"
Lelouch sighed. Suzaku needed to stop watching HBO and Lifetime. It was seriously starting to mess with his hormones.
"I thought I told you to wait in the car... Well, whatever. Go ahead and look around for something. I'll buy it for you." Suzaku said. He then looked down at his memory card, saying aloud to himself the details of the memory cards he was considering. "Hmm... I seem to have forgotten which type of memory I wanted... Isn't that ironic... " Suzaku thought aloud.
Well, never mind Suzaku's pointless comments. All Lelouch cared about was that he would be getting anything in the store. Anything in the store? Anything at all? What a tough decision...
Lelouch decided to leave Suzaku to his 'business' and wandered off, looking around for what he could possibly want.
"Let's see..." Lelouch said aloud like your typical anime character would. "There's washers, dryers, CD players... Phones, Wii games, video game platforms... DvDs, misplaced and lost infants... How can I choose from all of these!?"
Lelouch circled the store a couple thousand times before deciding that he should just give up and buy the 1st season of Full House. He ran over to the DvD section, and looked to his right just so quick enough to catch a glimpse of the iTunes section of the store.
And that's when Lelouch saw it.
His breath halted.
His heart stopped.
His blood and circulatory system shut down.
He began to die a slow and painful death.
The ambulance came.
They brought him back to life with CPR.
They left.
Lelouch saw what made his heart stop, once again.
He died a second time.
The paramedics said "Fuck it" and decided to just leave him there.
But the sheer thought of seeing what he thought just saw brought Lelouch back to life all by itself.
Shining on its very own display case, a halo of light flickered (There was a hole in the ceiling, darn drafts) and Lelouch knew it was special.
The one.
The only.
iPod Touch.
"Suzaaaakuuuuu~" Lelouch wailed, his eyes shining, not leaving the iPod touch. He continued to eye rape it as he continued. "I want ittttt..."
"Well..." Suzaku began. He saw how much Lelouch really wanted the iPod Touch. "I don't see why not."
"YIPPEE!" Lelouch cheered as he jumped into the air, High-School-Musical style.
"BUT!" Suzaku shouted. "You are going to have to take responsibility for it... You'll have to feed it, groom it, clean up after its messes, and treat it nicely... An iPod Touch is a big responsibilty! Do you understand?"
"Yes mom."
"Then," Suzaku handed the iPod touch to the person working the cash register, "It's all yours."
"w00t!"
"Okay, that'll be $399." The merchant said.
Suzaku handed him a $1,000,000 dollar bill and said, "Keep the change. I'm trying to watch my calorie intake."
The merchant fainted, but continued to place the iPod Touch a plastic bag with the words "Worst Buy" written on it. The merchant then proceeded to slam his head in the cash-register a couple times before throwing his "How may I screw you over today?" Worst-Buy employee button on the ground and running to his boss's office. Suzaku could swear he heard said employee yell, "I QUIT FOREVER" before the merchant ran out of the bosses office, his tie tied around his head, spraying rainbow colored silly-string everywhere.
"Now THAT'S what I call customer service!" Suzaku heartfully said as he handed Lelouch the bag and tugged on his leash. "Let's go, Lelouch. I just remembered left the stove on again."
"Arf!"
Suzaku and Lelouch made their way into the parking lot.
"Now, where did I park that damn thing...?" Suzaku pulled out a car lock control and hit a button.
"I'm over here, dumbass" the car yelled.
"Oh, there it is!" Suzaku and Lelouch ran over to the car.
"Hey, Lelouch...." Suzaku began.
"Arf?"
"Is there any reason why there's a broken window and a pry bar randomly lying next to our car...?"
Chuck Norris disapproves.
Unnecessary Author Note #2 : That's it for today, folks! iTune in next time (Get it? iTune in?) for the next episode Lelouch Gets a Myspace! In our next episode, Lelouch will discover the gift of having an iPod touch!
P.S - Thanks for your reviews and your suggestions! Some of you know that I have already taken a few of these to heart and will be using them in the upcoming chapters.
Keep those reviews and suggestions coming! Arigatou!