Dear baby brother,

Happy first birthday!

*I'm sad that I don't have much to give you. The war has been going on for over a year now. All of the food has been eaten by us. I bet you don't even remember, do you? Of course not, you're still tiny.* I almost envy you for that, because things have gotten much worse from that point on.

*The outsiders have taken over the country, so food is really hard to get. Mother and father have died on the battle field, so I'll be sure to you about them as much as I can.* I still have nightmares about it after I found them...in pieces. It was the worst sight I had ever seen in my entire life. I remember how loud and terrible my scream sounded to my ears. My sharingan had activated for the first time, making my eyes hurt, but not as much as my throat and heart. All I can say is that they died before they became outsiders. Maybe they killed themselves after they were bitten, or they had been alive when the outsiders surrounded them; there was no way of knowing now. It was awful. If that happened to you, I would die. But it won't. I swear it won't.

I also learned that the Fourth Hokage is dead, so the Third Hokage is now running the village...or what's left of it. There's hardly any sane people left that hasn't died, turned, or left the village yet. I don't even know if ANBU is still around, and we're the only ones left in the Uchiha compound.

If you're wondering how the war started, my best guess is just like everyone else's: the explosion from the Village of Sound. I'm still not too sure about what's going on, but I learned plenty of things for the past year of trying to stay alive.

The thing is, Sasuke...the thousands of people who were caught in the explosion a year ago have come back. Not even a week had passed when they spread out, along with the disease-polluted air. I don't know all the details about the event, like how the explosion happened or who was responsible, but it created the outsiders and they started attacking the village, but the shinobi from all the lands have named the outsiders and that they were infected.

An outsider: seventy-five percent dead, twenty-five percent alive, but one hundred percent insane, sick, rotten, and inhuman to the core. And very much contagious when they bite. Their skin is this sickly yellow, that later forms bumps that starts squirting out weird goo to show that their bodies are rotting. Sometimes their skin peels off and as they eat it, flies fly around because they small like old garbage. They also like to eat people alive like us, and even with their skull smashed, they can still move around. By their description, they are by-all-means man-eating zombies, but smarter. I wonder if they are still in pain if they're sick. An outsider's face always has this tortured look on its face that makes them look scary, so I assume they do. I hope I'm wrong...not that I plan on finding out.

I learned from Shisui that you have to drive a tool into their heart or cut them in half, because that's where the sickness truly functions before reaching the brain. I've done it many times already, and I've learned how to get use to it, but it doesn't make it less disgusting. I hope you will never have to do that.

Oh, right. Shisui is alive and is with us now, but he's not the same anymore. He's sad almost all the time now, even when he tries to hide it. I think you're the only one who can make him be happy sometimes and not fake it. You still have that gift.

Almost a year ago, after a whole month of being trapped in our basement, Shisui found us. Our basement blocks chakra, but luckily he knew about it because otherwise he would have never found us. He had come knocking and yelling, and when I was sure that he wasn't an outsider, I let him in to hide with us. He looked awful. When he had first found our basement, I had to leave you in there for a few minutes to go outside. I had actually tackled Shisui to the ground at knifepoint to check him to see if he was infected, but despite being scratched up and dirty from the fight, he had no bites...but it was the emptiness in his eyes that made me first assume he was infected. It turned out that his little sister had been killed: an outsider bit her when they had been trying to escape and Shisui was forced to end her life when she had just about lost her mind for good.

I can't imagine the pain he's going through. His parents died years before, but he lost his aunt and uncle and now his little sister to the outsiders. I think we're the only reason that he hasn't lost it yet. He looks after us, just like I look after you, but now I have to look after Shisui because he gets lost in a trance a lot. The type of look that almost resembles an outsider. He even has his Mangeko Sharingan activated sometimes (he's says I'll get it too someday when I actually witness a precious person of mine die, so I was wondered why I didn't get it when seeing mother and father's remains). I sometimes get those, too (but not as often as he does), so he helps me back, but we take care of you together because you're a good distraction. Thanks, Sasuke!

We also take turns looking after you, because now we have to hunt for food. Lately the amount of food in the village has been getting lower and lower (markets are no longer running because people are hiding or staying clear of outsiders), so we have to go outside the walls to find berries and animal meat. Shisui offered to be the one to keep hunting for us since he was the oldest, but I wouldn't let him do it by himself (mostly because I'm afraid that he'll just give up and let the outsiders take him), so I convinced him that we take turns to look after you while the other finds food and other supplies. I don't think outsiders like the taste of animals so they leave them alone.

I'm glad you're a silent baby now. It would have been hard to hide you if you had always cried. Remember when we ran out of sweet milk for you? I had to start giving you some of my food so you wouldn't be hungry...but you couldn't eat it unless I chewed it up for you.

When will you grow teeth?

I hope its soon...my jaw is getting tired!

And guess what's your favorite food...tomatoes. Just great!

You cheer and clap your tiny hands every time I bring them, so I guess its not too bad. You even had your first laugh when throwing a chunk at my face, so I kept trying to search them out. It's hard to find fresh fertile fruit, vegetables, and even bread nowadays, so I guess tomatoes are going to be a special treat from now on.

I miss mother's home meals, even her tomato meals. When I see your face, I see her. If you could remember, I'm sure you would miss her and father too. She always made the house feel warm, and even when she hits someone with a spoon, she would laugh after. I miss the smell of father's coffee in the mornings, as well. I'm not sure why he would make a whole pot and only drink one cup, but it made the house smell really bitter. I tried coffee once and I believed it must have been what adults like since it smells good, but it tastes bad. If I can find some in one of the abandoned stores, or trade for some, I'll make it so you can try it. I think all you need is hot water, which is hard to get without smoking up the basement. I actually prefer tea. Jasmine tea. It's hot, soothing, and it keeps me awake. I try to preserve the tea because one day, its going to make the list of endangered food and drink supplies.

I forgot to say that the house is gone. After find out mother and father died, me and Shisui moved all of my bedroom things into the basement, since we planned on staying down there for a while until we figured things out. The basement is basically a small hole going about 4 stories underneath our backyard garden like a bomb shelter. It has a small bathroom, stove that requires fire and wood...which is hard to manage since it can make the basement a little smokey, so we have to open up the door to let out the smoke, and then quickly close it because the smoke attracts outsiders. We had to fight off some of them that had been lingering in the house. Shisui and I still make a great team.

There is also this door that leads into a secret location out into the forest where the Uchiha shrine is, which is good for when I'm hunting for us, but we always have to check that both exits are sealed so that no outsiders, or even mean and desperate people, start invading. Living people can be just as threatening as an outsider. This war has changed all of us. In more ways than one.

I would have once thought that we ninjas would be more than capable of dealing with something like outsiders, because I was sure that ancient history has handled far worse...but there was one catch that became almost as big a problem as the disease was.

Do you remember when I mentioned that the Sound Village's explosion had turned everyone around it into outsiders? Well, I may not know how it happened yet, but I found out why. The air had been poisoned with this toxic waste that had infected everyone within a close range since the explosion had still been burning, but the rest of it had rapidly spreading across the lands of the entire country. Since the edges of the Land of Fire had been close to Sound, some people there were also infected when breathing the toxic fumes, but we were lucky. By the time the toxic air had reached our village before the outsiders did, it had cooled down enough so that we wouldn't be infected right away...however, it was effective enough to start depleting everyone's chakra. Within a week, almost every ninja was weakened to the point that even the most powerful jutsu were nearly impossible to use. Even the sharingan was weakened, so the Uchiha couldn't rely on them anymore. It was hard enough to focus enough chakra to activate it at all, or to copy anyone's fighting moves and use them, or even to sense someone else's chakra signature.

The air since the explosion is still muggy and humid, never going away, but after a while it seems natural...if it weren't for the fact that it was preventing our chakra from performing any ninjutsu, genjutsu, or taijutsu. Whenever Shisui and I actually found the time and place to spar in our old training field in the forest, we would place you into this really high locker in the basement after putting you to sleep, hoping you'll stay quiet while we were gone. You were all curled up like a kitten in your blankets, chubby cheeks pink with content, and hugging that little green dinosaur toy I found for you.

Shisui and I both had to make sure we did it outside so that we worked to exercise our chakra and push our abilities beyond the limit. It was hard, and it still is, but we also made sure to train without the use of any of those techniques.

The shinobi of this war, while surrounded by outsiders and breathing in their air, had to resolve in fighting the old-fashioned way: with their fists, kicks, and weapons only. Still, I miss using jutsus. I even miss my summoning raven. So far I have managed the sharingan, four shadow clones, and a bush-sized fireball jutsu. It's exhausting, but its great progress. Shisui was determined to get me back to the level I once was, so he worked me nearly as hard as father did.

One time when we were coming back from training, you were screaming because you had woken up and found that we were gone. I picked you up and tried to calm you down, putting your head on my shoulder and rubbing your back, humming our lullaby until you quieted with whimpers.

I'm sorry, Sasuke. I'm sorry you got so scared, but Shisui and I always come back. We would never leave you alone for long. Was that why you were scared?

Then Shisui grabbed me and pulled me at the corner of the room with you in my arms. Putting a finger to lips, he pointed toward the roof and we looked up. Now silent, I could then hear the outsiders looking for the door to our basement. I could feel myself shaking and hugging you closer to my chest while Shisui kept his hand on my arm and held his kunai in the other. We were both silent like the ninja we were trained to be. We were scared, but didn't show it, pretending that the infected were merely rogue shinobi searching the place. I miss those good old days. Practically everyone is a rogue now.

The outsiders may be sick, but they are smarter than they look!

When I was out hunting, I found some medicines in one of the old doctor offices and brought it back. The hospital was locked because other survivors have claimed it as their sanctuary first. Shelter can be very valuable, so people don't trust anyone anymore. More so than usual, anyway. I found some that would put you to sleep for almost the whole day. I figured that the next time Shisui and I go out together to train, that I give the medicine so you will stay quiet. I hope you aren't upset with me.

While Shisui and I keep taking turns hunting, it gets harder and harder to find deer meat. I watch Shisui getting thinner, and he actually told me that I was looking like a skeleton, which couldn't be good. I think I'll leave the deer hunting to him and go find rabbit this time; you like rabbit. There are also spicy berries near the border, so I think I'll be gone for the whole day, but don't worry: I trust Shisui to take good care of you and sing and read to you when I can't. I promise to sleep in a tree tonight, and I will make it back in the morning. I'm actually sitting in one right now, way high up from the ground. I can't focus chakra in my feet yet because its not enough, but climbing alone is easy. It's very cold up here, even though its in the middle of summer.

For now, Shisui will look after you and worry about trying to strengthen his sharingan. I'll give you twice the dose of medicine so the outsiders won't find you when we go out training. I haven't told Shisui about this yet, but I will when I get back.

But just in case I don't, because anything can happen out here...I love you, Sasuke, and remember to listen to Shisui. Be careful on saving food and stay away from outsiders, no matter what. Don't trust anyone and take care of yourself. Just stay alive, no matter what. And happy birthday!

Shisui, if you're also reading this and I'm dead, take care of my baby brother and defend him with your life, otherwise I'll come back and haunt you. You're the best friend I ever had.

Despite these farewells, I still promise to come back alive and with fresh rabbit, so don't mind me.

Sleep well, Sasuke. I'll return as quickly as possible.

Love,

Your big brother Itachi