Broadcast 4:
Cocho: Hello, and welcome back to Universal News. Our top story is...we started a riot, AND HUNTER IS GETTING US LOST!
Hunter: (reading a mapwhile walking) I know we're close!
Eveveryone was just watching Hunter circling a tree for at least 20 minutes.
Hunter: (looks around) Uh...I think we're lost.
Spyro: (takes the map) HUNTER! This is a Six Flags map!
Cocho: Yup, it official...WE'RE GONNA STARVE!
Ojo: Hey, why don't we just follow these glowing, unpurposely printed footprints in the ground?
Everyone Else: (-.o)
Cocho: So...let me get this strait. While Hunter was circling a tree for twenty minutes, you knew those footprints were there the whole time, AND YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING?!
Ojo: Hehe. I usually think you being in a panic state was amusing!
Cocho: I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING "AMUSING!" (puts a choke hold around Ojo's neck)
Ojo: ACK!...ACK!...C-CRAP!
Spyro: (pulls Cocho off) Get a hold of yourself! Killing Ojo won't get my trophy back!
Cocho: Your right. (glares back at Ojo) I'll just make him clean the toilets later!
Hunter: That's the spirit!
Ojo: (Xl)...I hate you...
They follow the footprints with their weapons ready. Once the trail ended, they found themselves infront of a huge mansion in the middle of the forest.
Ojo:...You know, you'd think we would have notice that by now!
Spyro: But then that would make sense. Usually humor fics make no sense!
Cocho: Which is why I hired you, and why I have this job!
Spyro: (walks up to the door, and slams his little fists multiple times) OPEN UP! I KNOW YOU HAVE MY TITLE AND TROPHY IN THERE YOU THIEVING BASTARD!
Voice: I'M COMING, I'M COMING! Sheesh! You don't have to yell you tirent!
The giant doors open, but only a small creature comes out. Who do you think?
Spyro: (O.o)...Oh no, not you!
Ripto:(Xl) What the hell are you doing here?! GET OFF MY PROPERTY!
Cocho: Wait...how come the trail of footprints led to here? Unless...RIPTO TOOK THE TROPHY!
Spyro: We're not leaving until you give it back!
Ripto: What damn trophy?! I've been in my castle all day! And IF I were to steal something, I wouldn't be stupid enough to take YOUR things, you purple pest!
Ojo: Well...I guess someone tried to frame you then.
Spyro: It must have been that cloak guy!
Agent 9: Yeah! That guy looked like the one who gave us that squid boarding report earlier! I knew something was fishy about him!
Cocho:...Again with the "he" stuff, huh?
Agent 9: (-.-)...nevermind...
Ripto: Well, I might as well join this useless parody, because whoever framed me will face a death worse than MoneyBags did!
Everyone Else: (o.o?)
Ripto:Uh...forget I said that.
Everyone Else: Forgetting! (are about to leave)
Cocho: WAIT!
Ojo: (turns around) Now what?! You need a piece of chocolate or something?! We have to find this cloak guy!
Cocho: Only one problem Einstein! How are we going to find the place?
Hunter: Uh...would this help?
Hunter was pointing to a very large sign that said "Cloak's Hideout." It looked like an abandoned, creepy warehouse covered in old, blood red paint.
Ojo:...That'll work.
Ripto: STAND BACK! I'll blast this hell hole open! (take out his scepter and aims)
Ojo: WAIT! That's too obvious! That Cloak guy might want you to do that!
Ripto: (flashes a grin at Ojo) I like the way you think.
Ojo: Thanks. (glares at Cocho) At least SOMEONE does around here!
Cocho: (sticks her tounge out)
Spyro: So, who wants to knock the door this time. I did it last.
Hunter: (everyone pushes him forward) HEY!
Cocho: That's the spirit!
Hunter:...I already said that.
Hunter goes up to the door to knock, but it opens automatically.
Hunter: Well that was easy! (walks in)
Cocho: Uh Hunter? I wouldn't do that! I think it's-
Hunter: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Everyone flinched when Hunter walked out. His fur was now purple with pink purple dots covering him. Ripto and Ojo just rolled around the floor, laughed the crap out of themselves.
Ojo: AHAHAHA! H-hey Barney? Y-You lost some weight? (continues to laugh)
Hunter: (glares) Haha, very funny.
Cocho: (looks on top of the warehouse) HEY! Cloak is on the roof! I GOT HIM!
Cocho jump in mid air like the "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" movie, and landed safely on the roof. Cloak juat glared at her...I think, and took a fighting stance.
Cloak: (speaking Japanese)
Cocho:...I better use that translater. (puts on headset) That's better. Could you repeat that?
Cloak: (-.o) I said I'm gonna kick your ass, and keep the title of "Shreder of Arenas", you arsehole!
Cocho: What, by stealing the title?! There's no honor in that!
Cloak: Who cares about honor?
Everyone Else: WE DO!
Cloak: Well...I don't! So HA! (jumps towards Cocho in slow motion)
Hunter: WAIT!
Cloak: (stops in mid air) WHAT?!
Hunter: We need some music. We can't have a battle sceen without music! (takes out a sterio, and plays the Mortal Combat theme music) Ok, continue!
(insert karate scene here. I'm a little lazy with it.)
After an hour of useless fighting, Cocho became the victor and jumped down with a beatened up Cloak by her side.
Spyro: (walks up to Cloak) Now, lets see who this guy really is! (lifts hood and reveals the criminal)...TOASTY?!
Toasty: (gets up and confronts the dragon) YES! It was I!
Hunter: But why? Why did you do it?
Toasty: Why? WHY?! Because I felt like it! All those stupid commercials where I got beat up by Spyro for his games? I COULDN'T STAND IT! And the fact that the insurance company didn't give me my health insurance got me ticked off! (starts to cry)
Ojo: (pats Toasty on the back) It's ok. I know how you feel.
Toasty:-sniff- Really?
Ojo: (ties a rope to Toasty's leg, connected to a spear launcher.) NO! (shoot the spear)
Toasty: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! (disappears in a pile of trees)
Ripto:...Why the hell did you do that for?! I wanted to torture him!
Ojo: (grins) I know! That's why I shot him to your house!
Ripto: (grins back) You know, have you concidered joining an army?
Cocho: (covers Ojo's mouth before he could say something) OH NO YOU DON'T! He's MY fancharacter, and he's MY employee! Come on! (drags Ojo away) For Universal News, I'm Cocho saying...life can never make sense in the world of Fanfics ! Good night!
Toasty was the sheep on those old Spyro commercials. Ah, the memories.