Teardrops

Pairings : MuxSaga, ShakaxAiolia, AphroditexShura, AphroditexMilo

Rated : M

Disclaimer : all characters belonged to the highly respected Masami Kurumada. No infringement intended.

A/N : I was a bit struggling with this chapter, it's so hard to write I don't know why. Hope it's okay though.. Btw thank you for the reviews, I put my replies at the bottom of this page J

Chapter Three

Kind Buddha.. please tell me what to do..

Shaka swallowed the last bit of his cries and wiped his tears. There was no use to cry. To shed a tear was a sign of weakness, and being weak was very unlike him. He was the incarnation of Buddha, a warrior well known for his massive strength and the only one who possessed such an amount of serenity that had earned him the title 'the second only to God'. Those images would not be shattered just because of his fear for a mere nightmare. He allowed himself to cry only when he was sure he was definitely and positively alone, but other than that, his pride forbid him to show this one weakness to anyone, including those who had been close to him.

And especially to this one person, whom he had known had been standing outside his front door for the last five minutes.

As weak as his cosmos could be, he could still detect that certain someone, and more, when that person allowed himself in without the need to announce his presence. Shaka was in his own temple and everyone who had the need to enter his living quarter would have to announce themselves and waited for his permission, however he had personally granted this one person a luxury not to do so. Only to him, who occupied a special place in Shaka's heart.

So he cleaned his face as best as he could, straightened his body and closed his eyes, waiting as he heard the sound of footsteps getting near, feeling the familiar cosmos of the other person. He wondered briefly, how could it be, that the presence of the other could somehow brought comfort to him, even in his impossibly agitated state. This fact alone had soothed him, he felt suddenly better, and as the person stood near him, Shaka flashed a small smile.

"You're back from your mission?" he greeted.

Aiolia of the Temple of Leo sat himself on the floor beside the blonde Virgo, and Shaka could smell the freshly soap scent emanated from the man, indicated that he had just taken a shower. Shaka loved the smell. Aiolia smiled in return, knew that even with his eyes closed Shaka could easily see such a gesture.

"I just did. Few hours ago," the hazel haired knight replied, his tone light.

He nodded, "Welcome back."

"Thank you," replied the Lion.

"Tired?"

"The usual," Aioria shrugged, looked closely at the blond beauty beside him. "How are you doing?"

It was his turn to shrug, "I'm very good, thank you."

"Really? Because you looked kind of tired. You've been busy?"

Shaka sighed, "Well, sort of. Since my temple had been the only one that had been reduced to piles of bricks and dust during the war, six months is barely enough to really put everything back in place. There's always some bit more decorating and cleaning to do.."

Aioria grinned, suddenly looked very guilty, "Oh my.. right.. I guess someone will have to apologize for that.. I thought I did though.."

"You mean some people," Shaka retorted softly, still holding the smile on his face, "Six, seven in particular, including that one of a Bronze Dragon."

"Right," the Leo chuckled. "Well then just tell me when will be the next cleaning schedule, I will gladly help you."

"No need, I have it all covered," the Virgo commented politely, and continued on, "But you can help me with my garden instead. As you know, it had been destroyed too."

"Oh you're currently working on that too?" At the nod from the Virgo, he went on, "No wonder you're tired. How far have you got?"

"Well I think the grass is starting to grow nicely.. and the flowers too. You know I actually have some help from Aphrodite for that.."

Aiolia almost burst out laughing. Aphrodite and Shaka were like water and oil, they were definitely not an item. He exclaimed disbelievingly, "Ohh you're not serious!"

The long haired saint let out a soft laugh, "Don't laugh at him like so, Aiolia, he's actually got nicer these last few days. Although when he came here, we didn't talk much and I'm aware that it was Saga who instructed him to help me.."

Aiolia laughed again and Shaka couldn't contain his own. It was amazing how the other's laugh was so infectious, that was another thing Shaka liked from the man.

When their laughter died, it was silence for a moment before Aiolia asked again, "So then what else you have done in your garden?"

Shaka exhaled an air before he gave his answer, "Umm.. at the moment I'm planning to grow back the twin Salas trees.." He stopped for a second before then stated in a lower tone of voice, "Maybe just to remind me of where I died.."

"Hey," somehow Aiolia's voice leveled up a bit, "Have we agreed not to talk about that, have we not Virgo?"

The blonde's young man bowed his head. He had heard the story from Milo and Mu, of how devastated Aiolia had been during the time of his death. The kind of devastating state that had brought him into challenging Saga and the others to once again perform the Athena Exlamation upon him, as if he had a seriously death wish which might've enabled him to see Shaka in the world of the dead. Shaka felt stupid all of a sudden, he should've known that bringing back the subject would upset Aiolia, specifically when this Lion had such a high temper which only Saga could match. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to.."

With his closed eyes, he could feel the handsome Leo stared hard at him, making him almost stiffened. But to his relief, Aiolia's anger seemed diminished, maybe the man had caught the stunned expression on his face, and his voice turned normal as he spoke, "It's alright. I am not mad. You don't need to feel so guilty, just forget about it."

Shaka nodded.

"And by the way, I will still help you with your garden anyway."

He smiled, spoke rather shyly, "Thank you."

"You're very welcome Master Virgo."

Then as usually happened whenever they had a conversation, there were always moments of silence between them, when the two of them wished to say nothing and merely enjoyed each other presence.

It was common that whenever one found himself in conversation with Shaka, it was never a long one. Shaka was well known of being a very preserved man, he didn't really fond of a long talk and perhaps even didn't fond of any company at all. The only Gold saint that he quite befriended with probably was only Mu, since the two were already quite close since they were still small children. But as they grew up, the Aries saint slowly had started to open himself to others, sometimes even could be found having a drink and laughing with the rest of them, while Shaka held no such interest and would rather preferred to be alone.

Aiolia had known of this, because Shaka had told him the minute the man had started to come to his temple for his very first visit about few months ago. At that time the Lion just waved at the warning, eminently persisted that he enjoyed serenity as much as Shaka (which Shaka didn't believe at all), and insisted that he enjoyed being with Shaka, even when they had nothing to discuss. At first the Virgo merely laughed at him, had been very sure that Aiolia would not last longer after their very first meeting. But to his surprise the man had come back to visit him two days later, they had a couple of tea at that time, and appeared again two days after that, and two days after that, until Shaka had lost count on how many times Aiolia had visited him.

He, at first, couldn't think of anything behind the reasons of all these visits. Then he started to have his suspicion, as during those times, he always caught Aiolia stared at him in such a way, it had made him blushed heavily. Then there were also some gestures and treatment that stated clearly that the Lion knight saw him as someone more than friend. Shaka was always so good in reading people's mind, it was one of his best talent, and thus he was no longer too surprised when more less two months after that first visit, Aiolia finally confessed his feeling toward him.

Shaka, out from his personal judgment, had accepted him. And he had his own reasons for it. Apart from Mu, Aiolia was the only person he didn't mind to have around. He, whether he liked it or not, had started to enjoy his visits, he appreciated their simple but enjoyable conversation, and it was Aiolia who could make him laugh with his jokes, breaking the ice that had been dwelling in his heart for so long. Before the war, everyone had labeled him for being 'cold and too serious person', but with Aiolia, it was like Shaka once again started to learn how to smile and laugh again, he felt that his personality was changing bit by bit into a much nicer one. So yes, he enjoyed being with Aiolia and that was why he had accepted him as his lover.

Apart from that, Shaka knew that Aiolia was a very persistent man, it was in his nature, so regardless if he was being rejected or not, he would still be coming back.

"You're smiling."

The blond saint instantly blushed at the comment, not really realizing that he was indeed smiling at the past memory, "Oh.. it's nothing… I just suddenly remember something."

"O yeah? Does it have me in it?"

Shaka didn't give any reply, but felt his cheeks getting hotter with embarrassment. It was once again silent before the hazel haired man ever so slowly reached out a hand, touching the tips of Shaka's fingers that were currently resting on his thigh. Shaka was almost gasped at the contact, but couldn't lie to himself that he liked the warmness emanated into him from that very simple touch. He realized, only Aiolia could make him feel like such.

Then he heard the Lion breathed, "I miss you."

The golden haired startled at the words. It was spoken in a very low tone, expressing what the other man really felt toward him. It flattered him more than he could imagine, and he felt his heart beat went faster because of the simple comment. Was he also in love with Aiolia or was it only a mere likeness? Shaka truly didn't know the answer to that because he just realized that after several months of their relationship, he had never spoken the word to Aiolia. It was always Aiolia who always declared it to him.

He waited a second before returning the embrace, twirling his long thin fingers with Aiolia's strong ones, and whispered, "Were you thinking about me during your trip?"

"I did. Always. Everyday."

Shaka smiled, contentedly sipping at the warmness and calm that engulfed him completely, before he whispered once more, "I miss you too Aiolia."

The words were like a signal for the Lion to make a move. While his right hand was still holding on to Shaka's own, his left one was lifted to brush the blonde's long silken tresses. On the way up he brushed his hand along the Indian's back, making Shaka shuddered. He didn't need to open his eyes to see that Aiolia had closed the distance between their two bodies.

Then the man's warm breath was upon his ear, "By God Shaka.. You're so beautiful.. I miss you so much.."

Ever so slowly Aiolia descended to brush his lips upon Shaka's own, kissing him very, very softly. It was only a light kiss but successfully sent shivers down the spine on the two young men. Shaka loved being kissed by Aiolia, the man's lips felt amazing, it was always warm, supple and felt tremendously gentle. He loved every single thing about it, although he himself had always been too shy to ever initiate one.

Shaka tilted his head, decided to give the other a welcome gift for coming back from his long mission, and deepened the kiss. He pressed his lips to Aiolia's, his free hand gently took hold of the front of Aiolia's hem, pulling him slightly forward and intensifying their kiss. He could feel the other shivered and he smiled to himself.

Aiolia's hand that was on his back encircled his waist and took firm hold on it. Desire drove in and the Lion was now kissing him almost wildly, plummeting his tongue to Shaka's welcomed mouth and exploring it freely. Shaka let himself be lowered to the ground with Aiolia on top him, the man angled himself so one of his knees was resting in between Shaka's spread legs, and the kiss continued.

Shaka realized deeply that he was not a man of passion. Such thing as that or desire, they were not forbidden and not to be feared but should be avoided, as he had dedicated his life only to his religion and to become a warrior of Athena. During his months of love/friend-relation with the Lion, the only thing they had done was only kissing, perhaps a bit of touching, but they had never made love.

There had been one time when Aiolia had sworn to him that he would not force him and would wait until Shaka was really ready, by eternity if he had to, and Shaka believed him completely. It was just sometimes Shaka really admired Aiolia's patience toward him, it was almost unfathomable, especially when he considered about the man's short temper. Then again, in the time like this, or mostly happened during some of their intimate times, there always times when Aiolia would somehow forget of his promise, as he was being too carried away by his pent-up desire, and would asked for more. Like now for example, as he felt Aiolia's hand brushing against his thigh, Shaka already knew that this was one of those times.

Shaka felt terrible, always did every time things like this occurred. Partly because he felt guilty toward Aiolia, for not being able to give the man what he desired the most, and another part was because Shaka couldn't admit to himself that he also wanted it. He couldn't deny it that he wanted to make love to Aiolia, so badly, it was the only thing he thought during his numerous nights alone in bed. As time went by, he could no longer doubt the other man's feeling toward him and vice versa, and therefore started to feel so unsure of his own decision. It was like he was shattered on which path he should take.

He shuddered once again as Aiolia's big hand now moved along his inner thigh, brushing and massaging until he almost moaned. It continued to move upward to the area between his legs, to his hardened manhood, and although it felt so heavenly, Shaka knew he just had to end it.

He broke the kiss, panting slightly to Aiolia's mouth that was still hovering on his lips, and breathed, "Aiolia… please stop.."

Just like many times happened in the past when he was losing control, Aiolia startled and sat up quickly, panting harshly as if he had been fighting a battle. He let go of Shaka's body albeit still gently and moved back slightly, "By God… Shaka.. I'm sorry.."

Shaka sat up, trying to calm his racing heart, nonetheless wrecked by the guilty inside him of seeing his lover in such a state. He hated to see Aiolia's disappointment, hated to see him in distress. He shook his head slowly, "No Aiolia.. it's me who is supposed to apologize. I'm sorry I can't.."

"None of that Shaka," the Greek man said sternly after he regained his breath, "I've made a promise and I tend to follow it. It won't happen again. I was just.. losing a bit of control as I missed you so much.."

Shaka didn't know what to say and they both sat still. He somehow had a bit of difficulty of facing the Lion and so he averted his gaze back to the window, drawing into the silence and was lost at what to do. A distraction would do, maybe this was a good time to serve tea.

He moved to get up, "I will make tea for you Aiolia."

A soft touch on his shoulder stopped him and he turned his head.

"I wish to see you, I don't want any tea," the Lion then said, making the situation even more awkward. But the hand stayed on his shoulder and Aiolia continued in a tone more tenderly, "Come here.."

Shaka silently moved and as he got closer, Aiolia then hooked his hands under him and he let himself be lifted to sit on Aiolia's lap, sighed contentedly as the young man's muscular arms went around his body from front and back, hugging him tightly. He hugged him in return, leaned his head against the Leo's strong chest, burying his face in his neck and comfortably inhaling the scent of the other man. It felt so blissful, he felt he could fall asleep right there and then.

It was like time froze and they stayed like that for several moments, before Aiolia's voice broke into the air, "Shaka?"

He answered lazily, "Yes?"

"Could you just promise me one thing?"

He lifted his head slightly. Aiolia didn't look down as he spoke, instead his eyes were casted straight into the darkness outside. He wondered what he saw in the darkness.

"What is it Aiolia?" He asked softly.

Aiolia sighed, "When the next war arises and we all have to go to fight, promise me that you will not die before me. If we do have to give up our lives, promise me that we will do it together, because I don't want to be left behind like the last time you did to me." He stopped for a while, before went on, "Could you promise me that, Shaka?"

Shaka gasped. So startled he was, he snatched his eyes open to look at Aiolia, the same time as his lover looked down at him. The love and sadness in the hazel eyes was enough to make thin tears appeared on his own eyes and he was almost sobbed as he whispered his reply, "Yes Aiolia.. I will not leave you and if we must die, we will do it together. This I promise to you."

His answer pleased him and in return, the Lion smiled and hugged him even more tightly, "Thank you."

Shaka hugged him back, burying his face even more to the man's neck and sobbing quietly. He didn't even know why he cried, maybe because he was too happy by Aiolia's love? Or maybe because whenever he spent time with Aiolia, he had never been disturbed by the horrid nightmare. It was only Aiolia, with his sincere love and kindness, who could make the nightmare went away.

Shaka wanted it so, so badly to tell him about the thing that had plagued him these last few months, but he just couldn't bring himself into it. He was too ashamed and ever dreadful, that once Aiolia found out, the man would likely turn away and would stop loving him. If that happened, Shaka knew he would lose all intention to live.

Curled in the warmness of his lover's body, the Virgo then decided that Aiolia would be the last person to learn of his nightmare. Should it be possible, the guy would never ever find out about it as long as they both were still here in the Holy Land. Shaka would endure the pain, just as long as he could still had the Lion on his side.

The only problem was he was not so sure how much longer he could hold on to his own sanity.

Tbc..

sss

~ Yum-chen-mo : thanx for your review, but I don't know how to read Spanish *crying*

~ vanpie : thank you, glad you like it. Hope you enjoy the other chapter too.. cheers

~ Raixander : you're very welcome. I enjoyed writing them too. hahaaa.. oh poor Saga..