DAY EIGHT: OCTOBER 28TH, 2014
The forest was silent and peaceful... and then, suddenly, it was not.
A warning burst of bullets cut the ground open behind the cyan blur. Space-time fractured itself and reconnected only to fracture again in the reality-warping skeleton's wake. The odor of ketchup also drifted in his wake, although its damaging effects were considerably more permanent than the former.
in retrospect, Sans thought gloomily, i shouldn't've tried to get outta camp just because papyrus wanted some of that oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
But it was far too late for that now. Now, all he could do was run, or more accurately, continually teleport himself forwards a few feet at a time, because he was too lazy to walk.
i didn't even know it was legal for humans to have guns that overpowered nowadays... contemplated the skeleton as bullets whined past him. though now's probably not the best time to be trying to remember.
In a sudden rush, he vanished again, this time aiming for his and Papyrus's tent. He actually managed to hit it this time, as well as staying upright to boot. Most impressive.
Papyrus looked up from the table. "GREETINGS, SANS! SO YOU'RE BACK AT LAST! I-" Noticing something was wrong, Papyrus tilted his head. "SANS, WHAT IS WRONG?" And then, realization struck home.
"SANS. WHERE IS MY OATMEAL?"
"your what?"
"MY. OATMEAL. THAT I SENT YOU OUT SPECIAL TO GET. WHERE IS IT?"
Sans forced himself to grin. "whoops. knew there was something i forgot."
"YOU LAZYBONES!" shouted the skeleton angrily. "YOU HAD ONE JOB, SANS! ONE JOB!"
"actually," Sans replied, "i have a lot of jobs. i'm a sentry in snowdin, a sentry in waterfall, a sentry at the waterfall-hotland border, a-"
"SANS!"
"not helping my case, am i?" Sans tsked at himself.
"INDEED YOU ARE NOT! BUT SERIOUSLY, THOUGH," Papyrus continued. "DID YOU EVEN TRY?"
"yes." That much, at least, was true.
"THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
Sans knew that he couldn't tell his brother what had really happened. Papyrus was too naive, too trusting, and Sans knew what that had got him in the previous timeline. And it wasn't oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
"well, if you must know... i collapsed into a coma before i'd taken a few steps."
"WHAT."
"see, walking is really strenuous work, and my bones were aching like nothing on earth, so i decided to lie down for a little nap and went into a coma."
"THEN HOW DID YOU GET BACK HERE?" Obviously, the self-proclaimed GREAT PAPYRUS would not be fooled so easily.
"because i hadn't pasta-way."
"THAT JOKE DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE IN THE CURRENT CONTEXT!"
"yet i made it anyway."
Anguished screams could be heard for miles around.
A/N: This was just a silly little update I put in because I feel bad about not having updated for so long and because I felt like writing this because it was funny. It's just to tide you over till the next update.
I know somebody's going to ask why Papyrus wanted oatmeal with dinosaur eggs. Well, according to a certain small white dog it's his favorite food, and if you don't believe me go and look at the Undertale Tumblr and click the link to the last q-n-a question.