Where I stood

Aspen five years ago

"Mom," Aspen sighed running a hand through her hair, eyes scanning the empty apartment. She had managed to pack everything in under a day.

"Aspen, I just don't understand why you seem to think moving across the country is going to make you a better person." Aspen rolled her eyes popping her green apple gum. She glanced over at the mirror she had yet to take down. Her bangs lined her face, and the specks of pink in her hair seemed to be extra bright today.

"It's not about being a better person, it's about being independent." Aspen tried to play the lie off, she really did. Aspen listened to her mom sigh as she grabbed the packing tap and started tapping the last box up.

"Aspen—"

Aspen cut her mom off before she could go on another rant about how she was screwing her life up. "Mom, I have to go." Aspen hit the end call button on her phone and tossed it on top of the cardboard box. She placed her first two fingers on her temples and pressed.

She was stressing, over stressing. Aspen rolled her shoulders trying to work out the knots. Her whole body seemed to be one big stress knot. 'You can do this' Aspen told herself as she stepped back. The shared apartment seemed empty without him, even more so no that both of their stuff was practically gone.

"Hey Asp." Kevin called knocking on the door, "Wanna go get a pizza before you leave tonight?" He asked.

"Come in, and yeah that sounds fun." Kevin pushed his way into the apartment with a big toothy grin on his face. Kevin smiled at Aspen and pulled her into a brotherly hug. His chin resting on the top of her head and she pressed her face into his chest. Aspen loved her brother, she trusted her brother more than anyone else in the world. Aspen's body relaxed into her older brother. Tears burned behind her eyes as her brother squeezed her tight.

"You didn't tell mom the truth did you." Kevin's tone wasn't accusing, it was more like an older brother caught you in the act tone, which is way friendlier than the "mom just caught you' tone. Aspen just nodded her head.

"Wanna tell me about it?" He asked. Aspen shook her head no and stepped out of her brothers embraces.

"No maybe some other time." Kevin nodded his head.

"Yeah, maybe some other time"

(Now)

Logan stood leaning against a tree and he waited for Aspen. He had wanted to talk to her after the interview but she seemed to rush by him. Logan looked out at the entrance, every time a dark headed girl walked in he would lean forward and squint. But each time, it didn't seem to be her.

"Who are you looking for?" The question hung in the air as Logan glanced over at Aspen, there she stood behind him, warm Starbucks in her hand, eyes bright and looking at him. Logan chuckled pushed himself off the tree and took the three steps over to her.

"No one," Logan shrugged. Aspen smiled and turned around, Logan found himself walking in step with her. Her long legs seemed to keep pace with him.

"I have a question?" Aspen asked after several minutes of awkward silence.

"What?"

"Why the park?" She asked with a tilt of her head. Her eyes seemed focused on him, but her attention seemed to be elsewhere.

Logan chuckled and licked his lips, "its public," Aspen scrunched her face at him, and her green eyes seemed to hold his gaze. Both stopped walking, the stood there in the middle of the trail staring at each other.

She asked taking a step towards him. her face inches from his.

"Hm," Was all he said as he leaned forward, just as she was about to kiss her, she turned back and started walking again.

"Seriously, what if I had a boyfriend?" She asked not bothering to look behind her to see if he was following her. Logan looked at her disappearing form, trying to decide if he really wanted to follow her. Aspen turned towards him, "Are you coming or did you just invite me out here to kiss me?" She asked a smirk tugging on her lips.

"Oh I invited you out here just to kiss you," Logan laughed as he started to walk. Aspen waited for him to catch up.

"Oh now that you're true intentions have been revealed," She laughed along with him.

"Nah, I really just wanted to ask you about some of your answers in the interview."

"And a phone call wouldn't have worked?" Aspen tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and glanced up at him. Her body was shaking as his arm brushed hers.

"One, I didn't have your number," Aspen rolled her eyes and punched him in the arm.

"Hurry up and ask me the damn questions, I have to get home!" her eyes told him that she was playing, but her tone was another story.

"Why did you move to Hartford?" He asked. Aspen sighed and gripped her coffee cup tighter.

"I had a boyfriend who was two years older than me, and he happened to be graduating. I thought I was so in love with him that I never wanted to be without him. So without telling him I applied to Yale, thinking that if I didn't get in his hopes wouldn't be crushed—"Logan cut her off and gestured to an empty bench. She agreed and followed him over.

"Where is this wonderful boyfriend?" Logan looked at her, really looked at her. She didn't look like the type of girl who had a boyfriend, but yet here she was talking about some guy she moved across the country for.

"He dumped me before I ever got the chance to tell him I transferred to Yale." She didn't look at him; instead she stared at her cup.

"And the major change?" Aspen laughed as the tension washed away.

"Yale was so professional, and I felt unprofessional wanting to work with little kids so I changed my major." Logan raised an eyebrow at her; did she really change her major because of Yale?

"Are you still in school?" Aspen nodded her head and pressed her knee into his thigh.

"Yeah, I just take a class or two," She shrugged like it was no big deal. Logan looked at the girl in front of him.

"Family?" Aspen smiled

"Yeah, I have an older brother his name is Kevin. And my mom is the best she's supportive most of the time," Aspen laughed at some memory Logan didn't know. "And a dad who's hell bent on being the fun parent, which left my mom to be the bad guy a lot of the time while I was growing up."

XOXOXO

Rory sighed and stepped into Aspen's room. It was clean, cleaner than normal. Rory walked over and sat on her bed. Rory slid Aspen's laptop into her lap and pulled up the top. Rory waited for the laptop to wake up, she then typed in Aspen's seven character password and then went into documents. She scanned down the list until she found it, the file labeled 'dairy'. Rory smiled as she clicked on it. A little box popped up asking for a password. Rory frowned. It wasn't password protected the last time she got into it.

Rory thought about texting Aspen to ask what her password was, but thought against it. Rory sighed and removed the laptop and stood up. That was a waste of her time. Once Rory was out of her roommates room she began to pace around the living room.

'What if Aspen finds out? What if Logan finds out?' Rory asked herself. She didn't want to think of the possible outcomes. At least she didn't at this moment.

XOXOXO

Aspen laughed as Logan made a face. His nose scrunched up and his eyes crossed. She was enjoying herself. Aspen laughed again as Logan tried to do the fish face. Once he was done embarrassing himself, she told him that she should head home.

"Yeah it's getting pretty late." Logan rolled his eyes.

"What?" Aspen asked defensively, "It's almost seven thirty I should have been home an hour ago." She teased standing up.

"Oh? I didn't know you had a curfew," Logan smirked.

"You never asked me!" Aspen snapped playfully. Logan rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Eh," Aspen rolled her eyes at his lack of response, but leaned into him as they walked out of the park and to his car.

'Rory's going to kill me' Aspen thought as she slid into his car. The leather interior was warm from sitting in the sun, which was nice because the Summer to Fall air was being to get chilly.

"Where to?" Logan asked starting the car.

XOXOXOXO

Rory watched out the window as Aspen got out of Logan's car. Rory smiled as she watched her best friend turn back and say something to Logan, she watched her friend throw back her head and laugh. Rory shook her head and walked to the door; she pulled it open and slid her coat on. Rory slowly walked down the steps and waited until she no longer could see Logan's car. Then she walked out and stood beside Aspen.

"Let's go get pizza?" Rory asked nodding across the street at Tony's pizza. Aspen nodded and the two women crossed the street and waltzed into the restaurant. They slid into their booth and both smiled.

"Did you have fun?" Rory asked. Her blue eyes seemed to be filled with some emotion Aspen couldn't read.

"Yeah, I think we might be friends," Aspen shrugged like it didn't matter, but Rory could tell by the slight glimmer Aspen's eyes held that she was lying. Rory nodded her head and glanced down at the menu.

"Pepperoni, black olives, mushrooms, and sausage okay?"

"Yeah that sounds good. Feeling like trying something new?" Aspen asked as the waitress arrived.

"Hi, welcome to Tony's what can I get you to drink?" She asked pulling out her pad.

"Coke," Rory told her not looking up.

"Water," Aspen told her with a small smile. The girl nodded and walked away.

"Yeah, and plus its Tony's special so it's half off." Rory smirked as Aspen rolled her eyes. They always got whatever was on the special, they were cheap.

"I think you're ready to go through with step three," Rory stated as she glanced up at her friend. Aspen frowned, "What's step three?"

"You're going to call him tomorrow and ask him to a movie on Friday," Rory stated with a small smile.

"Great," Aspen mumbled as the waitress returned with their drinks. She placed the drinks down as Rory ordered the pizza.

"What time do you need to be at work tomorrow?" Aspen leaned forward and rested her chin in her hand while looked at Rory.

"Around seven," Rory nodded as she opened a package of crackers.

"Okay good, I don't have to be until eight so I can drop you off."

"Yeah okay," Aspen stared blankly at the back of the restaurant.

The rest of dinner went with forced conversations between the two friends. Aspen seemed to think Rory really didn't want to be eating dinner with her. And Aspen knew she didn't really want to be eating with Rory.

Rory glanced out the window and looked out at the busy street, she wished she could just get up and blend in with all the people. She was good at blending.

"I think I'm going to head home," Aspen muttered before getting out of the booth. Rory didn't bother responding as she grabbed another slice of pizza. Her mind wandered back to her wedding day. She could recall the moment she knew everything was going to come crashing around her. Rory closed her eyes and let herself remember.