After a restful slumber, Salim awoke, ready to take names and kick ass. Today was tomorrow and yesterday was Thirsty Thursday. Today, however, was Friday. The day of the night. Of Phase 3. Taking a lead, gold, and aluminium pipe, Salim went to the Quidditch field, where Draco was waiting, hands down the studliest Aryan in Amestris.
"Phase three- The Final Phase."
Salim's new friend, Creed, was at Draco's side, the thestral skull firmly in his possession, overrunning with blood red wine. "You ready, kid?"
"Ready for what?" Salim asked innocently.
"Your worst nightmare," Draco said, laughing. "Phase three is the hardest yet - woo Cho Chang into agreeing to have intercourse with you. Sexual intercourse."
"But I'm ELEVEN!"
"Ripe young age." Creed nodded, remembering fond times with Train's old socks.
"That's the challenge," Draco said, ignoring Creed's routine outburst.
"...Fine. Which one is Cho Chang?"
Draco rolled his joint. "That one. The Asian, idiot," pointing to her.
"But she's surrounded by angry dementors!"
"Expect her Patronus," Draco said, "and always remember this - Asians love gambling."
"Gambling... got it." Salim, nervously, approached Miss Chang and the dementors.
"EXPECTO PATRONUM-san!" she cried. The dementors fled.
"Wow," Salim said. "That was impressive."
"Who are you~? You're so kawaii! :3"
Young Salim giggled. "Oh, I'm just Adolf Hitler's son - Salim Bradley."
Cho couldn't contain her indifference. "Chancellors... meh."
Shit! thought Salim. That didn't help. This dumb bitch isn't a neo-Nazi. Draco was right - gotta go gambling. "So, Miss Chang... ever play Alchemist's Roulette?"
"No, sounds... What is it?"
"Oh, it's easy."
"But what is easy about it?"
"You know normal roulette? It's that, only you bet Philosopher's Stones."
"Oh, you mean Sorceror's Stones?"
"No," Salim said, "Philosopher's Stones. I have about enough of them, personally. I'll give you some, so we can play."
"Gambling-san is kawaii... You are kawaii~! I'll do it!"
In my web, Aragog thought, I'm happy and free.
"Cool, let's go to my bedchambers!" Salim exclaimed.
"Where are those?" Cho inquired.
"Follow me, m'lady." Salim bowed. Cho curtsied and followed.
As they went, Draco looked at the proud duo and admitted, "Damn.. Salim's got swag."
"Train has more class than swag."
"It's a fact," agreed Draco Malfoy. "Shall we follow?"
"If you insist."