The Imp Act
Chapter Four: The Gnome Memorandum (Cog)
'A gnome is required to have been punted at least one-thousand times in his lifespan. If this requirement is not met, said gnome is doomed to the Twisting Nether,' Regulatory Actions and Laws index 4-B, the 'Gnome Memorandum'
Cog was relatively well-known. At least, as well-known as a gnome could be. His notoriety came not from adventuring, but from the amount of punting he had received over the years. Some people had believed that something somewhere in his brain had gone 'haywire'; and so he had been allowing every passer-by a punt. But Cog had been smart about it – for every punt, he received two silver pieces. So, with each punt, Cog became two silver coins richer.
But, one day, something happened to Cog's ready-and-willing attitude. The very same people who had said that he was mental now believed that the problem had been corrected by mass amounts of punting. Cog, once an intrepid adventurer and friend to many, was now a hermit, living in his small one-room cottage in Dun Morogh. The only exception to his self-exile was to hunt for food. He lived off of the native boars that had only recently held its biggest population explosion since the Second Great War.
And since his withdrawal from the world, at the first of every month, members of both Horde and Alliance lined up at his doorstep, waiting with silver pieces in hand, for Cog to appear. He never did, and merely sat next to his small fireplace. It was a celebrated holiday on the first of every month to wait at Cog's door.
Years passed before Cog made another public appearance. His hair was grey and stubble had begun to grow into a goatee. He held a twig and used it as he would a cane. The crowd watched patiently as he stepped tentatively down the front step. At first, Cog only grunted. Moments passed, and Cog flashed a wide smile.
That was truly a day of jubilation. Cog was punted many-a-time and received the customary two silver for his services. By nightfall, campfires were built, and songs were sung, and Cog provided a feast suitable for the High Tinker himself. The next day was much of the same, and Cog was punted for a two-day total of one-hundred-and-seventy-eight times. The last punter of the festival was a very young boy of tauren descent, named Killian.
Killian was enjoying his seventh winter celebration, and as such, Cog had allowed him a free punt. Cog had seen nothing wrong with the non-charge, having made three whole gold pieces and fifty-seven silver in a span of two days. So, he assumed his position while Killian prepared himself.
"Ready when you are, sonny!" Cog called out.
Killian began his charge, priming his kicking leg. His hooves dug forcefully into the snow-covered ground. His last step, he pulled back his right leg and swung it forward with tremendous force. It made contact and Cog was sent flying. Killian watched as the diminutive gnome cleared the distant trees. The crowd cheered before dissipating quickly to wherever they willed, and Cog never returned home.