"Holy cow, I'm so pooped, I wanna recharge," Sasori dragged his wooden body along the ground weakly and moaned, simultaneously pulling Hiruko along with the last of his strength. He almost collapsed, but fortunately when he did he crashed onto Hiruko's hard shell. "Where's my damn oil, anyway?" The puppet master glanced around suspiciously, surprised to find it missing, only to suddenly remember that Pein had confisticated it when he had gotten into a shouting match with Deidara over whose art was more "artful."
"You could've ridden in Hiruko, Sasori-danna, remember there's air conditioning in him," Deidara reminded the puppet master, but Sasori chose not to reply as he was conserving his energy. "Un," the bomber quickly added, shooting a dirty glance at Itachi Uchiha. "Let's get outta here, I wanna have a private talk with you."
Sasori nodded, refusing to reply in words, much to Deidara's displeasure. He shrugged, clanking his shoulders, and followed Deidara down a path into the shade of a few looming trees. Itachi, meanwhile, walked in the opposite direction, accompanied by Kakuzu and Zetsu the cannibal.
"What are we going to do now, Uchiha, Kak?" Zetsu's white half muttered as he grabbed a leaf from the ground and started to fan himself with it, hoping to at least cool himself down a bit. The blazing orb in the sky was still firing off beams of heat; the leaf was hardly useful, so Zetsu tossed it onto the ground and started to stomp on it vigorously, only to make himself sweat some more on the action.
"I just want to relax," Kakuzu complained huffily. "I've never been so stressed in my life, and trust me, the last time I was stressed was more than a hundred years ago. Plus, it's freakin' hot here. Amegakure was much better; cool barrages of rain almost every day."
"Hey, we've still got a whole hour before the Forest of Death," Itachi Uchiha reminded his two fellow Akatsuki members. "Relax, Kakuzu. Who cares if it's hot? I'm already too hot for the sun to make me hotter." The Uchiha said it in a very proud tone, and Zetsu sniggered. Itachi had never admitted his nice features to the two Akatsuki men, and from the way Itachi said "hot", Zetsu guessed that the Uchiha had used the other meaning of hot, not the temperature one.
"You're right, Einstein, but what should we do now? I'm quite hungry, if you must know the truth," Zetsu sighed, rubbing his stomach like a cat. Drool started to flow from his mouth, and his sharp eyes widened at the sight of several people walking down the path. Itachi grabbed him by the collar and told him not to eat any humans, at least for now. Zetsu never had a habit of cleaning up completely; he either left an arm when he finished his meal, or merely an eyeball or so; those small details. People could track him down by inspecting the teeth marks on the leftovers of the feast, but Zetsu was skilled at hiding, too, so he didn't care at all. However, devouring a human right here in the sunny village of Konoha could mean trouble; you never know when an ANBU could appear, one might be hiding stealthily behind the tree in front of the three as far as Itachi could see. The Uchiha prodigy, Kakuzu the bounty hunter, and Zetsu walked down turned a corner and walked down yet another bustling street in Konoha, avoiding several gossiping women.
Anko, the proctor for the second phase of the Chunin Exam, had told them to "f**k off" when the people who had aced the first test reached the Forest of Death entrance after a tiring, meaningless walk. From what Itachi could see, Anko was quite drunk, no, make that EXTREMELY DRUNK, and she had promptly fell asleep on one of her fellow Chunin assistants, squashing him onto the dirt-filled ground heavily. While a bowl-headed, bushy-browed Genin wearing green clothes had dubbed the scene "Youthfully disturbing". Itachi saw that the Genin reminded him of some freaky, immature geek who always gave the "good guy" pose. Itachi snapped his fingers; he remembered it was that weirdo called Gai or something from his days in Konoha; he was actually not surprised to see that Gai had infected his student with the "good guy" curse. Once you get infected, or rather, once you accept it, you won't be able to avoid it anymore, it would've already become a daily routine. Itachi turned his head back to Anko, who was now moaning in her sleep and twisting her butt on the guy's poor self; he could not see what the deal was, though. After all, when he was younger, tons of fangirls had chased him around Konoha, trying to perform the same deed on his unwatching back. Luckily, he was totally vigilant and managed to avoid any incident like that. He watched, slightly amused, as the Chunin being squashed by Anko's snoring self was squealing loudly and noisily, unable to decide whether being squashed by a woman's body was pleasureable or simply down-to-earth (literally.) The Chunin, his scarred face practically digging into the ground, rolled his bloodshot eyes up at another assistant, who was doubled over in silent laughter, clutching his stomach as he watched his fellow Chunin's face go completely red, slammed into the ground by such force.
"Dude, lend me a hand, will ya?" the unfortunate Chunin assistant pleaded his comrade, who either ignored it or did not hear the request. "Please, it feels like I'm being smashed by a ton of bricks!"
"Hey, hey, hey, she's got quite a nice body, man," the fortunate Chunin assistant replied, still grinning. "I think I'll just leave you as you are; as you know, it's quite impolite to attack a woman, especially a defenseless one."
The smashed Chunin did not hear his comrade's reply as he had passed out, his eyeballs almost bulging out of its sockets. The other Chunin turned around and faced the large crowd of test-takers, who were all watching the scene in amusement. Itachi noticed a white-clothed young man with long brown hair staring at Anko and her victim in concentration. Veins were sticking out of the long-haired guy's face, and his eyes were...well...milky white. Itachi easily recognized him using the Byakugan, therefore he must be a Hyuga, one of the clans who might have the necessary skills to surpass the elite Uchihas. Well, it certainly won't come true as long as me and Sasuke are alive, Itachi bitterly thought. On the other hand, the Uchiha prodigy could not figure out why a Hyuga blessed with such a useful ability would use it for wrongdoings, like peeking through women's clothing like the long-haired guy was doing now. His teammate, a brunette-haired girl, slapped him across the face, causing the long-haired guy to collapse, landing on the ground with his face looking straight up. The Hyuga was now glancing at his teammate in interest with the Byakugan still activated; the girl merely gave him another bitch-slap, causing him to writh on the ground in pain. The green-clothed boy who had spoken earlier was now lecturing his teammate about "Proper use of Youthful bloodline abilities." Some other Genin, probably their friends, were laughing, although Itachi could tell that the one wearing sunglasses was fake-laughing.
Itachi smiled; he certainly wasn't like those guys when he was young; he was always the tall, intelligient, good-looking one; the one who never argued or bickered over a small matter; the one who was always serious, a role model for Konoha's younger generation, the guy blessed with leadership abilities. That however, took away time for humor, recreation, and fun among other things; at his leisure time, he was expected to train harder. His power-hungry father had forced him to do so. Don't dwell on the past, Itachi sternly reminded himself as his ever-wandering mind started to wander to the fateful night when he single-handedly massacred the whole Uchiha clan with only his ANBU sword. Hiruzen Sarutobi, the late Third Hokage, had forced him to do so; he feared that the Uchiha clan was gaining enough power to surpass him and take over Konoha. He had feared that the Uchihas would unleash techniques beyond his wildest dreams, and had ordered the loyal ANBU captain Itachi Uchiha to carry out the evil deed of murder. That old man had even puffed on his pipe, leaning back in his chair with one foot on his mahogany desk while ordering Itachi sternly about his "must-not-fail-mission", with the elders watching him for his reaction. Itachi had obeyed without question; he was too young to die at that time. Whenever he thought back to that day though, he was always reminded of himself telling Sasuke to hate him, that particular statement had almost ripped his own heart into quarters. Must not dwell on the past! Itachi told himself again, this time more fiercely. I'll never get past this Exam again if I dwell on the past for too long. He glanced up to see the Chunin assistant saying something to the unruly crowd of Genin.
"All right guys, I know you're anxious to get into this Forest, but with Anko apparently occupied there's nothing I can do," the Chunin explained in a relaxed manner. "You may stay here and wait, but you're free to go for one hour; to prepare yourself for last-minute preparations, enjoy a last bowl of ramen, that sort of thing. Just be back in a hour!" Before the Chunin had finished his sentence, the others had already left, including Deidara and Sasori, who had wandered off to do something. Hiruko sat abandoned in the midst of the Genin who were staying. The Chunin took one glance at the human puppet's ferocious face and went white before walking off hurriedly. That cloaked fatty looked like he was sixty, and he's still a Genin? Unbelievable.
As Itachi, Zetsu and Kakuzu wandered off from the site, three men wearing cloaks embedded with red cloud symbols had snuck into the Forest of Death via a hole in the fence. They had got in via the hard way; they had no idea the fence was rigged with volts of electricity. Always prepared, Kisame had ordered Hidan to go in first, and the Jashinist had tried to force a hole in the fence while holding his head high for nothing but pride. The upcoming jolt of electricity had zoomed through the Jashinist's body like lightning, and he had fell smoking onto the ground, his eyes twitching in agony. However, Kisame and Tobi did not give a damn; after all, Hidan was immortal, he would not die. The jolt would've rendered a normal shinobi into a coma or even death, but due to Hidan's stamina, he had merely laid there wincing, cursing the damn fence, and swearing at Kisame for his cowardiness. At any rate, after Hidan recovered, he had successfully shielded his two companions into the hole he had created while suffering the pain. In the end though, he was quite proud of his accomplishment; he may have blacked out five times during the process, but it was a great accomplishment nevertheless. Now Hidan limped along a small creek, followed by Kisame and Tobi, who was mumbling about "Scary buggies." Hidan managed to grin through the agonizing pain; he was going to get revenge for being disqualified, although it wouldn't be conducted on Ibiki or any of the Chunin. The shinobi and kunoichi taking the exam right now would be the ones that'll pay...in ruby-red blood!
Now Itachi and his two Akatsuki comrades stopped at a ramen stand called the Ichiraku.
"Yo, Kakuzu, wanna take care of this round?" Itachi demanded. He knew the answer was outright no.
"No way, buster," Kakuzu growled dangerously. "You're asking me to waste my money when there's a better use in store for it?"
"Oh yeah, care to explain what it is?" Zetsu's white half grumbled tiredly, his stomach rumbling.
"It goes to me!" Kakuzu explained brightly. "Ain't that a good cause? Plus, most shinobi I've met donated their money unwillingly, but hey, that's life."
"I'm broke, so don't look at me," Itachi admitted sadly. He had been forced to give his life time savings to Pein last week for a "I gave you shelter, a job, and food for years tax" which had hit every Akatsuki member heavily except for maybe the bounty hunter.
"Yeah Kak, you're paying!" Black Zetsu hissed. "Do you want me to eat you?"
"Didn't I tell you I'm not?" Kakuzu stammered, trying to conceal his fear of the barely-seen Black half.
"Listen to Blacky here," Itachi reasoned, using his best ANBU manners. "You're the richest one, don't be a selfish pig. I'll be sure to pay you back anyway, sooner or later." Itachi turned his head. "When Pein gives me my paycheck," he muttered in an undertone to Zetsu.
"You know he's not going to until about three years later," white Zetsu replied quietly as Kakuzu strolled into the Ichiraku Ramen Stand. Itachi motioned and the two of them strode into the ramen stand after Kakuzu, instantly overwhelmed by the enticing smell of freshly-made ramen. Itachi's nose tingled and drool actually slid out of his normally drooless mouth as the smell engulfed him. He needed food, he was emaciated!
"Kakuzu, you're paying!" Itachi ordered as he grabbed chopsticks and called for three bowls of Super-size Ramen. The bounty hunter nodded, he had heard it a thousand times already. Did Itachi think he was deaf or what? Sure, from his hood, facemask, and heavily stitched face, you could have mistaken him for a suicide bomber gone wrong. His ears had actually being blasted off once in a freak stealth mission failure, but by some miracle he had stitched it back onto the sides of his tanned head with various tentacles in his body. Kakuzu had seriously considered becoming a surgeon-nin before turning into a full-time bounty hunter. The reward was greater.
"Here you go, gentlemen," the cook exclaimed, placing three huge, steaming bowls of ramen before their hungry selves. "Enjoy your meal, it's the best in Konoha!"
Kakuzu sat in a corner, afraid of showing his mouth; it was quite scary after all. Itachi and Zetsu had begun eating already, although Zetsu ate more slowly than the Uchiha, as he was eating something completely different from the human flesh that he was accustomed to. In two minutes flat, Itachi had finished, and a few seconds later, Zetsu also completed his mega-sized bowl. Kakuzu continued to slurp the tasty soup with passion; it had been ages since he had been eating so freely without the interference of his facemask. The bounty hunter slurped the soup with passion, ignoring some which dropped onto his cloak, splattering onto the soft garment and staining it quite skillfully. This was a time of solitude and greatness; Kakuzu loved the feeling of the smooth, delicate ramen brushing against his stitched mouth, partically the process of eating. Kakuzu never actually used his teeth to eat, he merely sucked it in as his teeth had long blackened out and were now weak and worthless. Itachi had lost interest in watching the bounty hunter eat like a ramen-maniac, and was now outside of the stand, observing the scenes around him. Konoha had really changed since his defection from the great village, the once prominent Uchiha clan estate was now abandoned, and people had spread rumors that ghosts with Sharingan eyes now haunt the place. It deeply saddened Itachi as he glanced around; life as a S-ranked criminal was certainly hard with barely any time for enjoyment and leisure, but he was determined to make use of his time back at Konoha. He turned, walked slowly back into the stand, and forced Kakuzu to pay the bill.
"Let's get going, we've still got a few minutes left before the next test, but you, Kakuzu," Itachi smirked, his face still warm and moist beneath his black hood, "You wasted thirty six minutes just slurping soup and sucking in those ramen. I must say, it's quite good, but I've never known you to be someone who would actually ENJOY ramen."
Kakuzu merely grunted, clearly pissed off by the statement, and he ignored his comrades as they laughed loudly. His fingers reached into his pouch and hovered above a black, sharp-tipped kunai, but he stopped, choosing not to act violently and commit bloody murder on the streets. What was so funny about choosing his first-ever favorite food, anyway?
"Glad to be back home, Sasuke-sama?" Jugo rumbled in a deep voice as he sat perched on a greyish boulder, watching several birds fly by, blessed with freedom similar to the wind's. The raven-haired Uchiha leaned against a towering oak tree, with no obvious expression of happiness on his cold face. He shook his head slightly, slightly annoyed by Jugo's question; the answer was, he had no direct answer to reply with. Suigetsu was blabbing about seeing Kisame Hoshigaki and his godly sword, Samehada, sneaking into the Forest of Death, but Jugo had pummeled him hard, lecturing the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist wannabe about honesty, but that proved useless. Suigetsu continued to blabble about seizing this opportunity to gain the Samehada, but he finally stopped after Sasuke shot him a deathly glare; no one could possibly stand up against the glare. Sasuke absentmindedly reached a hand through his hair, glancing at Jugo, who was now conversing quietly with the obnoxious Suigetsu, still sore-faced from the lack of believers at his theory. The Uchiha wasn't sure how he felt when he returned to Konoha, forced by Orochimaru to undergo the Chunin Exam again in order to be proven within his large army of subordinates. Although Sasuke was clearly the Snake Sannin's favorite, the others did not act so kindly to the raven-haired Uchiha, especially those who had served within Orochimaru's army for years, like the veteran healing-nin Kabuto, among others. Orochimaru had announced quite grandly that Sasuke will easily ace the Exam and become a Chunin, and had sent Suigetsu and Jugo with the Uchiha, forming "Team Snake." Sasuke, not expecting this order from Orochimaru to be the kind he was looking forward to, accepted nevertheless; he didn't have a choice anyways. Sasuke had waited until they reached Konoha to change their team name into his preferred title of "Team Uchiha", as in Otogakure there were tons of the Snake Sannin's spies wandering aimlessly everywhere, although they were always well hidden.
My friends...Sasuke Uchiha pondered grimly. I have no friends now, all I have now are comrades, and...hatred. Hatred for Itachi the jackshit.
He had chosen to go to Orochimaru on his free will. Teams had been sent out to try retrieve him back to Konoha, but he had always evaded their petty efforts with ease, either from Orochimaru's defenses, or simply by his superior skills. He wouldn't have gone back with any of Konoha's retrieval teams anyway, as killing his brother Itachi was his only goal in mind; Orochimaru's training will simply ease the process up faster. He wasn't even sure if his Chidori could repel a Goukakyu No Jutsu (Grand Fireball) from Itachi, even though the Chidori was considered stronger than the Goukakyu. He sacrificed his freedom, friends, and village in exchange for training under a villain in order to gain revenge. Even so, he couldn't help feeling a bit melancholy as he glanced at an abandoned forehead protector with Konoha's symbol on it. Itachi, you will pay. You took away all I ever cared out, and now I must put up with an old pervert with snakes in his body to finally murder you at last. I hope my battle with you in the future will be brutal.
"C'mon, Sasuke Uchiha," Suigetsu hissed, standing up and grabbing the heavy weapon of Zabuza Momochi from where it was laid on the green grass. "The second test is starting, let's go. Looks like the proctor is finally somber again, eh? Tough luck." A disappointed grin replaced the mischievous smile that seemed to be almost always glued to the water-nin's mouth. "Why'd you stop me from attempting to bang her earlier, Sasuke? No reply? Fine, let's go." He huffily turned, swinging Zabuza's weapon over his shoulder with monstrous strength. Jugo followed him quietly after beckoning to Sasuke, and the younger Uchiha finally stopped leaning on the tree as he walked away, taking care to walk tenderly over the newly grown grass.
When I encounter you again, Itachi Uchiha, Sasuke vowed, Even hell will be scared by my righteous anger. The Team Uchiha arrived at the entrance of the Forest of Death, where the test-takers had already gathered around Anko; the proctor was explaining the test in great detail. Sasuke, having heard everything last year, stood back, flanked by his two comrades. His eyes uddenly widened as he set sight on a group of Genin standing to the side. His fists clenched and he hurriedly sprinted to the opposite side, away from the group. Suigetsu and Jugo were surprised, but they quickly followed their leader anyway; there must be a good reason why he ran.
"Why'd you run when you saw those guys, Sasuke-sama?" Jugo inquired curiously.
"Yeah, why?" Suigetsu snapped. "Were you..uh...afraid?" The water-nin always spoke his mind, even in front of an Uchiha.
"Shut up, Suigetsu, give me a break or I'll seriously be forced to have cooked kappa for dinner someday," Sasuke groaned.
Suigetsu was enraged. "I'm not a kappa, Uchiha!" he furiously pointed out. "Although I do like water." His voice trailed off as he compared himself against a kappa.
"Whatever." Sasuke's voice was quiet. Jugo had to lean in to hear what he had to say. Sasuke took a deep breath, and started to open his mouth, still staring purposely towards the ground. Why am I acting like this? I shouldn't care, for the love of God!
"Those guys were my teammates." Sasuke finished, leaving Jugo shocked and Suigetsu surprised. The water nin glanced at the silent, brooding Uchiha, then doubled over in laughter, slamming onto the ground. Anko was still talking at the top of her voice, apparently not noticing the three at the side, but other Genin close by shot looks of annoyance at them. Jugo waved a hand of apology at them in earnest, but Sasuke did not reply at all. He merely watched with unfocused eyes at Suigetsu.
"You were scared...of your teammates? The Rookie 9 or something like you said before?" Suigetsu choked out, unbelieving that someone as strong as Sasuke could be driven off to the point of running away from his former teammates and friends.
"So what?" Sasuke growled, shutting Suigetsu up as the Uchiha drew a kunai swiftly. He was considering lopping off Suigetsu's head right there, but he needed to get the scrolls in the forest first. After that...he should hope that he'll get matched up with the water-nin in the upcoming matches. The Uchiha put his kunai softly back into his fully-packed pouch and started to walk back to the gates, where Anko was putting finishing touches to her speech. The two others followed again, with Jugo blocking Suigetsu's way with his huge body. The water-nin looked extremely pissed, but there was nothing he could do; compared to Jugo's immense strength, Zabuza's sword looked like a mouse toy. Sasuke stationed himself quite a ways from the Rookie 9 and Team Gai, who had not noticed him, but the Uchiha couldn't help shooting a shifty glance at a particular pink-haired kunoichi standing close to the fence, just a few inches away from Anko's talking self. The long-haired Hyuga and the retarded "youthful" bowl-headed boy stood beside her. Sasuke smirked; that Hyuga's hair was still long, but he was surprised at the confidence currently being expressed on the pink haired kunoichi's face.
Hmm...Haruno...the Uchiha rubbed his hands in anticipation, or maybe it was just to keep his hands warmer. At any rate, perhaps this exam wasn't going to be as boring as Sasuke originally thought it would be.
OK, the Forest of Death will begin in the next chapter! It'll probably take up two chapters or more...I don't know yet.