Chapter 4

Sherlock blinked at John's words; what did he mean by that? He turned around to look at his friend, who was smiling at him. "John?"

The doctor stepped closer, looking nervous. "Sherlock, I...I wanted to tell you before. But you know how it was, with people always assuming we were a couple. It got to me because I could barely understand what I was feeling for you. So I felt like...there was a load of pressure, you know?"

Sherlock nodded, trying to understand even though he had no experience in this kind of thing. He was a genius detective and yet he couldn't fathom these feelings. "So...you do have the same feelings that I do?" he asked, feeling hopeful. John smiled wider.

"Yeah, I do. Can't explain it...there's just something that draws me to you. And...I watched so many women leave me because they couldn't get how much I needed you. But to watch you jump...that hurt me. I had nightmares for so long..."

Sherlock had known about this, and hated that he couldn't be there for John during that time. He should have been. "John...you always maintained that you're not interested in men at all."

"And you said you're married to your work," John pointed out. "Guess things change. Listen, I've been thinking...I want to know what you think about all this, Sherlock. You're my best friend and...I don't want to lose you over this..."

Sherlock nodded. "Well...I won't lie to you, John. When you corrected people who assumed we were a couple, it...well, I..."

"Shit," John breathed, rubbing his forehead. "I hurt you, didn't I? I'm sorry, Sherlock...you know I never wanted to do that."

"I know. That's why I never said anything about it. I knew you were uneasy with that assumption and I respected that you didn't want to address the issue with me."

"But I do now," John told him, reaching out and taking his hand. Sherlock looked down in surprise; this was unlike the time they had held hands when running from the police. John was squeezing his fingers gently and he felt a strange kind of warmth unfolding in his stomach. He hadn't felt like this before. "I...whatever this is, I want to at least try. Are you really interested in me?"

Sherlock nodded; he could no longer deny it. "Yes," he said softly. "I never really...not until I met you. It never held any interest for me until recently." He swallowed. "I'm still not sure...how this is supposed to work."

"I know. But fortunately I do, so I can help you. But, Sherlock...I have to know...you won't see this as just an experiment, will you? I know what you're like."

"Of course I won't," Sherlock replied. "I mean...it is fascinating to see how the body responds in such scenarios. Release of endorphins, adrenaline levels and so on. But..." He looked into John's eyes. "It is more than that too."

John smiled at him. "Good. And, um...exactly how far are you willing to go? I thought you weren't interested in...sex?" he asked, the very thought of them engaging in such an act making him feel a little apprehensive. Could they really do this? He didn't see why not as long as they took it slowly.

"Well, I never said I wasn't. I just never thought about it before. But now...if we do embark on a relationship..." Sherlock trailed off, clearly thinking it over. "Could we, um...would this even work?"

"I think so," John replied, nodding. "When I started to say that you'll be my best friend no matter what, I meant...that even if this doesn't work, at least we tried. And I hope we'll still be friends afterwards."

Sherlock nodded; he hoped that he would never lose John regardless of anything else. "I'll still drive you up the wall," he warned, needing John to know what he was getting into. "And you know what I get like when I don't have a case. I'll need to learn all of this new relationship stuff."

"I know. But I just get the feeling...maybe it's meant to happen. We're almost a couple already so it shouldn't be too hard, I reckon. There's just a new aspect to it."

"Right," Sherlock replied, and he let his gaze drift down to John's lips. Would this really be okay?

"It's alright," John said softly, nodding and stepping closer. "I want to." They looked into each other's eyes for a few long seconds, finally allowing their gazes to linger. John had never really appreciated the colour of Sherlock's eyes before; a sort of blue-green with flecks of brown. They were something else.

Knowing that Sherlock was too insecure about himself to initiate anything, John closed the gap between them. He rose up slightly to gently plant his lips on Sherlock's, keeping it chaste for now. He didn't want to scare Sherlock off so soon.

The kiss lasted for a few seconds, and when they broke apart the detective looked a little taken aback. "Well, um...that..."

"Feel good?" John asked, looking hopeful. Sherlock nodded, trying to absorb this new information.

"Yes, very." Then he smiled. "Let's try again..." John grinned but let out an involuntary groan when his lips were captured; apparently Sherlock was secretly quite passionate. This one lasted longer, and they soon had their arms around each other as their lips moved together.

John was breathless when they broke apart, blinking several times. "Damn...I never thought you would be so...you certainly put effort into everything you do."

Sherlock's cheeks coloured and he looked away, still holding John close to him. It felt good to be able to do this at last; like they were a perfect fit. "Well, I..."

"Are you blushing?" John asked, peering at him. "Oh, Sherlock...come here..." He pulled his friend into a hug, feeling happier than he had in two years. "I love you."

Sherlock looked at him and felt an inexplicable tranquillity; everything was right within their world now. "I...love you too..." he said softly, and pulled his doctor closer.