"Unrequited love is the infinite curse of a lonely heart."

― Christina Westover

004. Dilexit et Amissum

Someone once said to Cremia that the hardest thing to do was to "watch the one you love, love someone else." She had never really thought about it ever being a problem in her life. That is, not until she had met him.

He was different than every other guy in town. Interesting, funny, sarcastic, smart, wealthy - not to mention ridiculously good looking. Everything from his amethyst hair to his sharp crimson eyes stood out. To her, he was the epitome of a perfect man. Too bad she wasn't the woman of his affections.

She hated him for breaking her heart. She hated herself for loving him too much. She even hated Anju a little bit, for having the thing she wanted most. Kafei Dotour.

Cremia knew it was absolutely pointless to keep on loving him like she did. Kafei didn't love her; he loved Anju. It was so ridiculously obvious. Not by the words he said (he wasn't the mushy type) but by the way his face lit up every time she'd walk into the room or how he'd hold her hand while they walked through the city together. It was how he looked at Anju and how they laughed together. He'd never look at another woman the same, not even if he tried.

When she actually thought about it, she really didn't know when she had fallen in love with Kafei. Maybe it was when he had helped her move some of the hay supply so the cattle could be fed. Or maybe it was when he complimented her famous milk recipe for the first time and made her blush. It even could've been the day when she'd accidentally walked in on him when he happened to be shirtless. Cremia didn't know. Maybe it wasn't even a specific time at all, and her feelings for him had just...happened.

To Cremia, Kafei was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She had accepted a long time ago that he'd only love Anju, her best friend. And sure, every time she saw them together, her heart broke in two, and each time she noticed them sneak a kiss, she wanted to jump off something and die. But that was okay. She could live with the ruthless agonizing pain until she found someone else or got over him.

And, maybe, that was the thing that scared her most of all.

She didn't think she could ever get over him.

But how could she, the lonely third wheel, feel hurt and crushed over that? Over Kafei and Anju, the inseparable couple?

After all, how can you be upset over something you never had?

A/N: "Dilexit et Amissum" means "Loved and Lost" in Latin.