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"What happened?" Bell sat up and stretched. They were now in the living room, by the 'wall of crazy', as Joan had dubbed it, and fully clothed; Joan in Sherlock's t-shirt and a pair of jogging bottoms, Sherlock in only trousers. The two turned and looked at each other. If he didn't remember, what was the point in telling him? Bell's eyes narrowed.
"Oh, wait. I remember. Your door was open, so I thought you were in trouble. But there was no sign of a struggle, so I figured I'd wait down here. Then I heard you screaming, figured there was trouble after all. But I got upstairs and you two were..." he looked away, seemingly unable to finish his sentence.
"Having sex." Sherlock prompted. He looked like he was trying not to laugh. "Watson and I came to an agreement, regarding that experiment I told you about."
"My sex life is not an experiment," Joan muttered. Both men ignored her.
"Terribly sorry I forgot to text you telling you the date was off. I was a bit... busy."
"Do I even want to know how this came about?" Bell sighed.
"It's rather a funny story, actually. Called Watson down to inform her of your date tonight, but she had been in the shower—"
"—for eight minutes."
"Yes, yes. Eight minutes, I know. No need to get your knickers in a twist." He snickered. "Especially since I already did it for you." Joan whacked him on his arm, scowling.
"Shut up and get on with telling Bell what happened."
"If you care so much, why don't you finish telling him?"
"Fine, I will."
"Fine."
"Good!"
Bell cleared his throat. "If you guys need to be alone again, I'll happily leave this time." This time, Joan hit him on the arm.
"Anyway," she glared at Sherlock. "He called me downstairs while I was in the shower. It sounded urgent, so I came down wearing a towel."
"And then you guys... you know?"
"No. Then Sherlock pulled me upstairs and picked out clothes for me for our date, which I didn't agree to or have anything to do with making, by the way."
"It was for your own good! I wanted to see if your deductive powers were heightened after sex, as mine are."
"Yeah, so it was for your own good, your experiment."
"Well you would have had fun, I imagine. Unless Bell here wasn't up to it."
"Hey, hey. I would have been up to it!"
"Anyway," Joan crossed her arms. "I yelled at him because he was being unreasonable, and my towel fell down. Then he suggested we try his experiment out together."
"So then you had sex."
"No, I got dressed. I wanted to talk about it first. We decided that nothing between us would change. Then we had sex."
"No," Sherlock said with a grin. "First we indulged in foreplay for a considerable amount of time. Then we had sex." Bell pulled a face.
"Can you two stop talking about having sex with each other? I'm getting visuals I never wanted."
"I've got it!" Joan stood up. "Tina Hex didn't kill her husband. Somebody else did."
"Pray, do tell how you know that?" Sherlock propped his chin on his hand.
"Are you telling me that he was right?" Bell asked, incredulous.
"I often am, you know."
"I don't know if it's because of your theory. I do know that I've just noticed something I didn't think was that important before."
"What?" Sherlock asked with a frown. "The Hex case was abominably easy to solve. You can't be telling me I was wrong."
"You're not right about everything you know. It just popped into my mind. It was a small detail, while we went around Tina's house, and her daughter, Dani's."
"What was the detail? Spill."
"I noticed that on the master bedroom's bedside cabinet there was a picture of Dani wearing an impressive dress. It fit perfectly. I only noticed it because I thought I'd seen it before somewhere. I just remembered that my friend was telling me about it about a month ago; it's the most expensive dress in the world. But Dani lived in poverty. And her mother said she didn't plan on sharing any of the inheritance with her. How could Dani have been wearing that dress, and why would Tina Hex have kept it beside her at night, when she claims she hates her youngest child?" Joan spotted Clyde on the floor and picked him up, stroking him gently.
"On top of that, did you notice that Tina's clothes didn't fit her properly? They were too big for her."
"So what?" Bell asked with a shrug. "Perhaps she has a taste for baggy clothing."
"But the clothes were all designed to be form fitting. And Dani's clothes were too small, which at first didn't seem too weird, because she's poor, right? But you know who would fit those clothes pretty well? Tina. The styles were different, too. Tina's clothes were too young, too hip. Dani's were too old."
"What are you getting at, Watson?" Bell frowned.
"I think Watson is suggesting that our billionaire was murdered by his daughter, not his ex-wife, and that Tina Hex is serving time in jail in her stead."
"But why would she agree to that?"
"She may have many reasons. But did you see the state of where 'Dani' was living? It was horrible. I imagine prison would be a step up from that, with constant meals every day and companionship, no matter how criminal. It's very likely that Dani promised her mum when her jail sentence was finished, she would get a slice of the inheritance for serving time. How to prove it though? Hmm. I think security cameras is the best way. That way we can see them putting the house back to normal and see how long Dani has been living there instead of Tina. If that fails, there'll be other ways." Sherlock nodded. "Yes, I think you're right, Watson. And so am I! Once again, we're proven compatible."
Joan blushed, thinking about the last time he had said they were compatible, and the acts which had followed. Bell looked confused once more, but awkwardly got to his feet.
"Well, I'm going to leave you crazy kids here. Some of us need to get some sleep. We've got a murderer to catch out tomorrow." He mockingly bowed to Joan. "Milady." He began walking out, but turned back with a smile. "I'm still available for that date, if you ever want it."