"Virgil, you have to fly forward! I can't take all this weight on the tail."

"Scott, If I fly forward anymore I'm going to snap the damn cable! You have to pull back."

"That will achieve nothing."

"Then we'll start again and try something else."

"There isn't time!"

Alan's voice entered the mix. "Guys how about we fly upward at the same time then-"

His suggestion was shut down by two voices at once. "No Alan!"

Gordon did the only thing to save his sanity, and switched the coms off. Morning bird chirps now replaced nattering brothers, and it was a much more pleasant sound. The sky was clear, the sun was shining, and it was another gorgeous day on Tracy Island. The suns warmth didn't quite reach Gordon's skin however. Even while lounging on one of the deck chairs he felt strangely cold.

He yawned loudly, still tired even after his luxury eight hours of sleep. Yesterday he had woken up thinking things would have just fixed themselves. But Virgil spent most of his time with 'Two, Scott had a whole lot of Tracy industries paperwork to catch up on, and Alan slept for a good percentage of the day. So Gordon wandered around aimlessly trying to avoid all of these places, and ended up going scuba diving down at the reef. When he returned Scott had been called out to a rescue, and Virgil and Alan were in the midst of an angry glaring match.

But today Gordon had the rare opportunity to be by himself in the house. Brains had taken a trip to the mainland to look for more parts, and Grandma had decided to go along for an early supply trip. She insisted they needed more food, but Gordon knew she just wanted to escape for a while.

It was good to be alone…

…for about five minutes. But now Gordon was bored. He still hadn't been allowed to go on the latest rescue, this time with Scott claiming he was unfit for duty. Actually, the only contact he'd had with his older brother was a brushing of the shoulders as they passed in the hallway. Scott had obviously wanted to say something to him, but Gordon just kept on moving. Alan hadn't said anything to him either, too absorbed in his own frustration to care about anyone else's. Virgil had come to see Gordon to tell him about the mission, and check on his arm, but even the artist wasn't in the mood for too many words.

Part of Gordon was tempted to rummage through his younger brothers game collection to entertain himself, but that would be no fun without Alan. There were limitless options of what he could do, but he kept pulling up a blank. None of them were fun on his own. Even setting up a trap for his brothers had no allure for the normally avid prankster. It would only make them angrier, and that's something he couldn't handle. Shifting uncomfortably on the lounger, he sighed. Maybe he should turn on the coms again, just to be safe.

"Alright, easy now Virgil…That's it we've almost…damn! We almost had it! You have to pull tighter on the-"

"I know what I have to do Scott."

"…I was just making sure."

"You guys, I could go out and tie the-"

"No Alan!"

Ok and no thanks. Gordon switched them off again, actually relieved that he wasn't out on a rescue. No, he was just sat here, being absolutely no use to anyone or anything. Even if he was at the rescue he might be no use to anyone or anything, who knows. Perhaps he should just wander away, maybe nobody would notice.

Ok they would notice, he would have brothers on his tail left right and center, but still…

Gordon's foot tapped on the ground.

He rolled over.

He rolled back.

Man, being alone sucked.

"You should try reading," a voice shocked Gordon onto his feet. He whirled around, ready to grab the umbrella stick if a weapon was needed. Instead he came face to face with John; his lithe brother not even blinking when confronted with Gordon's bruised appearance.

It took Gordon a moment to regain his composure. Heart racing, he slowly lowered his hands. Where had he come from? John had mastered the art of silently slipping into a room without anyone noticing, which Gordon thought quite a dangerous talent. "Jeez Johnny, will you ever greet me like a normal person?"

"No. Because you're not a normal person. Normal people read."

Gordon felt himself break into a smile, a genuine one this time, before flinging himself at his older brother. His arms wrapped tightly around John's thin form, "what are you doing here space brain? You're not due down for another week and a bit!"

John shifted, trying to detach Gordon the limpet from his skin. Even though he didn't show it, John was concerned about his younger brother's new appearance, so he tried to be gentle. "Oh you know me; I just came to pick up some more books before heading back up."

Gordon's smile faltered, he took a step back before realizing John was joking. The best thing about John's comedic ability was that he always looked so serious. It was a skill Gordon had never been able to acquire. "Alright, stupid question. But…" Gordon frowned, eyes travelling towards his watch.

John read his mind. "Yes, I cleared it with Scott. Yes, Fives on auto. Yes, I knew they were going on a Rescue. Yes, I gave them all the details. No, they don't need me right now."

"Nice and succinct. Ten out of ten."

John raised an eyebrow. He was taller than all his brothers, bar Scott, which would have made him appear far more imposing if it wasn't for his light frame and delicate grace. Gordon preferred to think of him as a creature of the moon rather than an astronaut. "So, what were you planning on doing today?"

Gordon raised a hand, lowered it again, and screwed up his nose. "Um…I thought I'd just go for a swim…or wallow in my sorrows...ya know, the usual."

"Mind if I join you?"

"You don't like swimming."

"But I do like wallowing."

"Then pull up a seat," Gordon gestured towards the deck chairs, swiveling himself around so he was sat back on his own. John followed suit, stretching his long limbed form out to catch the much needed sun. There would be a limited time frame before his pale skin would start to burn. That was another reason Gordon could never survive up in Five.

"So how's…" Gordon shifted, "um…space?"

John turned to him with a look that made Gordon feel like he was five. He raised a solitary eyebrow and blinked, "How's space?"

"Yeah, you know…" Gordon gestured toward the sky, "how are the stars and things?"

"Ok, you have never once in your life asked me how space is. Now I know something's wrong."

"What? I'm just trying to make conversation-"

"You're trying to avoid conversation."

"Well what do you want to talk about?"

"How about we start with that woman?" John turned on his side so that he faced Gordon. He stared casually at him, as though they were going to be simply discussing the weather. John may be the most intelligent of them all, but he was certainly never very good with emotion. He was blunt, and he hated to sugar coat things, never quite comprehending the emotional impact of his words.

Gordon swallowed dryly, the fingers on his bruised hand tapping nervously on the side of the chair. John noticed this and a small smile played on his lips. "Ah, I see you've done a Scott."

Gordon wriggled his fingers, indicating he heard, but didn't say anything. He was sure if he opened his mouth than everything, every thought and feeling, would just tumble out into the open. That would be bad.

"Perhaps you're more similar than you think," John noted, blue eyes glinting in the sunlight. He knew better than to push Gordon to talk. There was no point asking questions, or trying to lure something out, Gordon would talk when he wanted to and never before. So John decided he would do the talking for once. Everything was already out of balance anyway. "I bet that, like Scott, you think it's your fault."

Gordon didn't respond.

"Whenever we lose someone on a job, Scott goes over and over everything in his head, wondering what he could have done better. You see Virgil and Al; they're pretty good at stepping back from the situation. But you and Scott…" John shrugged, "you always like to blame yourselves."

"Well, it was my fault," Gordon said quietly, eyes lowering.

John sighed. Gordon was usually ever-smiling, barely batting an eye when things went south. But there was no famous grin this time. "Do you know how many conversations I have about this? No It's not your fault. It's simple. Did you start the earthquake?"

"…no."

"Did you try to save her?"

"…yeah…"

"Then it's not your fault." John shook his head. Why couldn't his brothers understand that? John dealt with it perfectly fine that way. It wasn't that he was detached at all; it just made sense to him.

"Her husband thought it was my fault."

"Well her husband was grieving, and in shock. I mean seriously Gordon," John clicked his fingers in front of his little brother's face. "You went in, risked your life to save her, it's not your fault. End of story. So stop feeling guilty on me please."

Gordon pushed himself up by his elbow, leveling to meet John's gaze, "…You know what star gazer?"

"I'm right? I'm a genius? I'm your favourite brother?"

"All of the above," Gordon shot him a dry smile. Man had he missed John. He hadn't realised quite how much they needed the second eldest around.

John gave a curt nod. "So you aren't going to mope anymore?"

"Eh, can't make any promises…and how do you know I've been moping! You haven't even been here."

John rolled his eyes and lay flat on the sun lounger. "Gords, I can feel it from the stars."

Gordon raised an eyebrow. "Oh so you talk to them now do you?"

"Yeah, I give them names and everything."

"...wow. Humans are a thing you know."

"Yes but I much prefer the company of exploding balls of gas."

"Better to look at I suppose?"

"Hmm, and more intelligent conversation."

Gordon snorted, amused at the idea of John having pet stars. John chuckled with him, before growing serious. "No, I mean it Gords. When you aren't smiling, no one's smiling."

Gordon paused, taking in the words. He understood that John was trying to sidle the conversation toward the arguments, but his sentence held more connotations then he realised. "Is that my job…?" Gordon muttered quietly, fingers tapping in thought.

"Uh…what?"

Gordon shook his head, brushing away his comment. He thought about telling John for a moment, about how confused and frustrated he was. John would just tell Scott, and then they'd all end up having some forced bonding session which he very much wanted to avoid. So Gordon held his tongue. "Hey Johnny…do me a favor, and let's not talk about the others for now. I just want to spend time with my fav brother and relax."

John lifted his chin, eyes sliding sideways to study Gordon. "I'm only temporarily your favourite."

"Yeah, make the most of it."

"Gee thanks kid."

"No worries. So it's a deal?"

"What?"

"No serious talk, no dad, no brothers, no international rescue. I just wanna chat mindlessly about the ocean, and space, and girls, and songs, and food. Ooh no, we need to eat food. Preferably junk food!"

John chuckled as Gordon got more excited about his plan. He'd got as much out of him as he could, so the astronaut may as well have some fun while he was back home. "And what do you propose that we do?"

"Hmm…" Gordon grinned. "Have you ever heard of the game Six thousand feet under?"

ooooo

Gordon was about to be crowned victor when the others returned from the rescue.

John had failed miserably at playing the game, blaming it on the fact that Gordon 'knew the terrain better'. Gordon had then come up for a concept of Zombies in space which John had seriously considered creating. The man was not only a whiz with book learning, but knew a whole lot about coding and programming, so Gordon didn't doubt his creative ability on that one. He did doubt that Zombies would ever be able to get their hands on space suits, but that was just a minor flaw.

For the first time in a while Gordon felt himself truly relax. Perhaps it was the absence of his other brothers, or that he was allowed to just forget about it all for a while, but the time with John did a lot to improve his mood. It was only with the sound of Thunderbird One's thrusters that he began to feel worried again.

The only warning of their brothers returning home was a brief call from Scott to John. Their eldest brother looked a complete mess, his hair was a wreck, his uniform was torn, and a small gash touched his cheek. But before they could ask any questions he had cut off the call. A sickening feeling trembled through Gordon as he wondered if something had gone wrong. Usually after a successful rescue there were good vibes all around, but the aquanaut wasn't feeling any of those from Scott.

John must have been sensing the same, though he didn't let on, because as soon as 'One touched down he was on his feet and out of Alan's room. Gordon hurriedly followed the astronaut down the hall and into the lounge, just in time to greet their older brother.

Scott looked just as bad in person. His eyes hovered on Gordon for a moment, before he turned to face John without a word of greeting. "Alan's been hurt. We need to get the med bay sorted."

John's eyebrows lifted in surprise as he shared a look with his closest brother. Worry instantly flooded Gordon and, not being privy to these telepathic thoughts, he hurriedly burst out, "what do you mean Alan's been hurt? How? When? Is he ok?"

Scott continued to look at John as though he was the one to ask the question. "We were lifting away blockage from a cave to free the trapped workers. Alan was on the ground, he was supposed to be waiting to tell the workers when it was safe to move. Unfortunately one of them moved too early and Alan…" Scott now looked towards Gordon, "went against my orders and tried to play hero by getting the man back. They were both hit by a piece of falling debris-"

"They were what?" Even John couldn't stop the shock from entering his words. "God Scott, from you and Virg? How bad?"

Gordon clenched his fists tightly to stop himself from yelling at his brother. He had hurt Alan. Alright, not intentionally, but still. Scott sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. He looked all but ready to collapse on the floor, no doubt as concerned about Alan as they were, but trying to hold himself together. "Yes from Virg and I, and it's not dire. He's got skin scraped off his arm and a twisted ankle…well those are the surface wounds anyway. We'll need Brains to run a scan-"

"He's not here," John said quietly, already heading in the direction of the med bay. What a way to be greeted at his return home. "I'll set up the scanner and then Virg can have a look. Bring Al down straight away when he arrives."

Scott nodded and checked the time, anxiously awaiting his brother's arrival. Gordon couldn't hold it in any longer, nobody hurt his little brother. No doubt Scott and Virgil blamed Alan for getting hurt too, which only made it worse. "Freaking hell Scotty! How could you mess up so bad?"

"Do you think I meant to?" Scott hissed. He looked so shaken Gordon almost backed down, until he said, "Maybe if you hadn't shown him that defying me was somehow heroic then we wouldn't be in this mess."

Gordon took a step backward. "Excuse me?" He hadn't even been there and somehow the blame had fallen on him. Well just great, perhaps he was more of a burden then he thought.

Scott sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, not wanting to start another argument with his fiery younger brother. "You know how much he looks up to you; he'll do anything that you do. I'm just saying, it might have influenced him a little."

"You're saying a whole lot more than that."

"Yeah well, take whatever you want from it Gords. I'm not in the mood for this."

Gordon bit his lip as Scott turned away, no doubt heading toward Two's silo where he could be ready to help Alan. Gordon contemplated following him, but knew it would just make matters worse. He wondered how the rest of the rescue had gone. Had the workers got out alright? Had the one with Alan survived? But it all seemed far less important when his brother was hurt. Gordon knew he was never meant to think like that. The people they were rescuing, they were more important than any of them. That's what Jeff had taught them. But Gordon couldn't help but care more about his family. He knew it was the same with the others; perhaps they were just better at hiding it.

How could things go wrong so badly?

Waiting was the worst part of any day for Gordon. Whether it was waiting in a que, or waiting during a rescue, or simply waiting for food. It was a relentless energy that possessed him most of the time. He hated standing still, he disliked not actively doing something, and he always had to fidget during debriefs or meetings. That was something that had annoyed Jeff to no end, especially when it was just the two of them waiting for news on a rescue. Gordon would tap his feet, click pens, bounce up and down, pace the room, stretch, or just shift every few seconds, all which became incredibly distracting and would force Jeff to snap. But Gordon couldn't help it; he just had to get nervous or excited energy out somehow.

So now he sat on the couch, got up from the couch, trotted up the stairs, walked around the table, looked out the window, moved back to the stairs, practically fell down them, before starting all over again. Even on hearing 'Two land Gordon continued to wander his routine like a madman. Up, down, back, around, forward, straight and stop. He heard commotion as Virgil and Scott helped Alan toward the med bay. But still Gordon walked his route.

He wasn't needed right now. Virgil was the medic, Scott would fill the older brother role, John would be there for calming purposes, and Gordon would just get in the way. So he kept walking. He got faster and faster each time that he did it, until he practically broke into a jog. Isn't everything a game to you? Well, apparently you're not very good at helping people. You're grounded until I know that you're not going to be a liability. As his brothers comments floated around his head, Gordon felt an idea press heavier and heavier upon him, one that had been forming over the past days.

Gordon stopped walking.

He had to find Jeff.

It was the only way to get International Rescue back to the way it had been.

The others would be fine without him. Gordon would go and find Jeff, the person they truly needed, and then everything would be ok again. Of course the Global Defense force had been searching for him, but perhaps they missed something. Something that one of his sons would understand. But International Rescue couldn't function without Scott, or Virgil, or John, even Alan. But it could function without Gordon. So he had to make that choice.

John cleared his throat from where he stood in the doorway. Gordon jumped and turned towards him, earning a concerned look from his brother, "Allie wants to see you."

Gordon nodded, slipping on an easy smile to assure John that everything was alright. John didn't believe it for a second but he didn't say anything. What was there to say? So Gordon trotted after the space monitor, his heart a little heavier, but his mind a whole lot clearer.

Alan blinked up at Gordon. His face was pale, eyes tired, and bruises were blossoming on the sides of his arm. One shoulder had been bandaged by Virgil, who was fussing about with various medications. Alan's left leg was currently suspended. Worry attempted to infiltrate Gordon's words, but he held it back. By the looks of it Scott was worrying enough for all of them. The eldest Tracy stood by Alan's side, arms crossed, an annoyingly stoic expression on his face.

"Al, have I not told you to look before you cross the road?" Gordon teased, trying to draw his tone back to one of flippant humour.

Alan instantly brightened. He shifted himself so he could look at his brother, wincing in pain as he did so. "Hey, there's no safe place to go when things are falling from the sky!"

Virgil flinched at his comment. His hand slipped on a vial he was holding, sending it tumbling to the ground. At the smashing of glass they all jumped. Virgil cursed loudly, before shakily trying to pick the shards up.

"I'll do it Virgil." John said, emerging from the doorway. The med bay barely fit the five of them in there at once. "How about you go and shower. You look like you've been living in the desert for days."

"And you look like you've lived in space for a month…" Virgil muttered, though he sighed as he realised John was right. Virgil's blue uniform had practically turned brown, and his face was coated with a fine layer of grime. John patted his younger brother on the shoulder before giving him an encouraging push towards the door. Virgil continued to glance guiltily towards Alan, actions of today not the only thing he was sorry for, but he left the room without saying a word.

John cleared his throat and sent a direct stare towards Scott. "You better go too, you look terrible."

"But-"

"You aren't helping anyone just standing there. Go on, get."

Scott's eyes slid towards Alan, obviously ready to have words with their younger brother. Whether it was an apology or a lecture Gordon wasn't particularly keen to find out. John just shook his head, signaling that now was not the time. Scott finally conceded and made his way from the room, letting only a crack of his emotion show behind his passive façade.

Alan instantly tried to sit up straighter. "Phew, I thought they'd sit vigil around me or something. Those guys sure know how to smother."

"They're just worried, and sorry," John set about picking up shards of glass, occasionally holding one up to the light to observe how it looked. Gordon smiled softly, trust John to try and find the beauty in broken situations.

"Yeah and angry," Alan leant back against his pillow, rolling his eyes for Gordon's benefit. Gordon grinned; it was like Alan had done this for some camaraderie reason. Technically Gordon should be angry at Alan for putting his life on the line, but that would be immensely hypocritical, even if it did give him an insight into what Scott was feeling all the time.

The aquanaut climbed onto the bed with his brother and stretched out, nudging Alan gently. "There's plenty of that going round, don't you worry. But…hey," Gordon widened his eyes and sent an exaggeratedly surprised look towards his second eldest brother. "Did you realise John's here?"

Alan raised an eyebrow. "That's John? I thought it was just the household help."

"Oh jeez, it's been so long since I've seen him, maybe you're right."

John looked towards them both, a sly smile dancing upon his lips. "Hey, I get the memo, come home more often. I will if you all stop arguing."

"But that's the reason you're here…" Gordon pointed out.

"So we should argue more!" Alan concluded, almost excitedly. John just sighed and picked up the bag of glass. Without word of goodbye, he simply glided from the room. Gordon half wondered if he would keep his new found treasures.

Alan chuckled softly and leant his head against Gordon's shoulder. The youngest wiggled the toes on his injured leg, drawing breath sharply as he stretched something he wasn't supposed too. "Gordy, do you think I'm grounded now?"

Gordon paused for a moment, scanning his injured brother up and down, "No, I'm sure you'll be fine."

"…really?"

"No you idiot! You can't exactly go and save people like that can you?"

Alan's face fell. "Spose not."

"Come on Al, a couple of days and you'll be back on your feet, ready to be squashed all over again."

"Hey, I got that worker out of the way."

"But you got pancaked instead? Nice."

"I wasn't pancaked. Something slipped from 'Two's claws when they were moving away from the cave. It barely even touched me."

"Oh, so you got injured falling over then?"

Alan pouted. "Well, no, ok it might have brushed me…and then pinned me down…but it's not as bad as it looks. The thing I'm worried about is Virg and Scott using me even less on the field now that this has happened. It wasn't my fault! I was just doing what you did!"

Gordon felt his stomach turn at Alan's words. Perhaps he had more of an influence over his younger brother then he realised. That was a bad thing. Gordon didn't particularly want himself to be a role model for anyone; he was still just a child himself at heart. "Yeah well…" Gordon bit his lip, trying to decide what to say. Eh, what the hell, he would just tell him the truth. Ruffling Alan's hair, Gordon grinned, "I'm proud of you kid."

Alan growled and pushed his hand away, quickly flattening his blonde hair. "How many times have I told you not to call me kid? It's bad enough with number one and three thinking I'm still a toddler!"

Gordon chuckled and leant back. Quietly he uttered, "I think they're both really cut up about this Al. The last thing they want is to hurt you."

Alan nodded with a knowing look that would rival John's. "Oh I know they are. I thought I'd let them sweat for a bit before I tell them all is forgiven. Who knows, maybe it will get them to talk to one another?"

The silent or push them further apart was something both Gordon and Alan understood, but neither said it. "They will sort it out," Gordon said quietly, but he was already trying to think of ways he could leave the island undetected. He couldn't let his brothers know, they would try to stop him, or maybe go with him, but this was something he needed to do on his own.

Alan closed his eyes and leant into his brother, as though he could sense the very thoughts running through his mind. Gordon, for the moment, felt contented.

ooooo

That evening John had gathered them all in the lounge, his thin form standing before them like principal about to deliver an inspiring speech. Gordon couldn't imagine John giving any sort of speech considering he wasn't fond of using words all that much, but still, he had the air of authority that managed to get them all sitting in the one room. Even Alan had been dragged up from the infirmary, but he was happy to be pandered to by his older brothers.

A news article flashed onto the TV describing the rescue from the morning. No footage of his brothers or the 'birds were broadcasted, instead there were various interviews from survivors of the incident, many commenting on the slow and somewhat sloppily handled rescue. This had Virgil muttering beneath his breath, Scott glaring angrily at the screen, and Alan boldly declaring, "those ungrateful basta-"

"Alan," Scott warned, shaking his head. It was quite obvious he had been wanting to say the exact same thing, but reigned himself in. "You know gratitude isn't the reason we do this."

"I know but we did save their lives! I almost got crushed for one of them."

"Yes but-"

"It's just rubbish media, so that's enough of that," John cleared his throat, switching the TV to a blank channel. "Now listen, I've got something to show you all. I know you might be a little surprised, but I got Grandma to pick these up today when she went back over to the mainland."

Gordon wasn't the only one startled at this, he hadn't even been aware their Grandmother had known that John was returning. It did make reasons for her abundance of food shopping a whole lot clearer. She had returned with Brains that afternoon, and was so shocked at Alan being injured that she practically ignored her second grandson.

"How long is this going to take Johnny?" Virgil asked quietly, large circles beneath his eyes indicating how tired he was. "I've got to go talk with brains about modifications to 'Two's grapple-"

"Nope." John mimed zipping his lips. "No work talk Virg, this is after hours now, you just get to relax."

Virgil sunk into the couch. Next to him, Gordon chuckled, "what on earth is relaxing?"

John's lips pulled into that mysterious smile as he flicked something onto the screen. A still image of a small boy with dark brown hair and blue eyes appeared on the TV. He was stood in the middle of a garden area, looking no older than four, and still had that similar worried expression plastered across his face…

Instantly Scott sat straight up on the couch, mouth dropping. "Uh John please tell me that's not what I think It is."

John just smiled

As realization dawned on Alan, he let out an excited yelp. "No? No? Is that you Scotty? John! Is this a home video? I didn't even know that we had any! Well, except for that school play one…"

John tilted his head curiously. "Have we never shown them to you? I could have sworn that we had."

Alan met Gordon's eye and the two of them shrugged simultaneously. He vaguely remembered watching old home videos when he was a little younger, but he certainly didn't realise they still had any. Something flickered inside him, whether nerves or excitement he couldn't tell.

"It's been years since I've seen these…" Scott muttered quietly, running a hand over his leg in thought. Gordon could tell he was thinking over what John was doing. Show them what they used to be like, make them laugh, show them Jeff, let them remember they were a family.

"Well?" John turned to his audience. "Any objections?"

There were halfhearted mumbles from all around claiming that they would rather not see themselves in their younger years, but none of them pressed too hard. Gordon was curious to see the footage, and even more curious to see if John's plan would work.

John nodded; pleased with the reaction, before flicking the play button and letting it roll.

Young Scott grabbed the lens of the camera, peering into it as though he would be able to see who was on the other side. His brown hair had recently been cut short and he was dressed in a rather upmarket outfit for a preschooler. There was a loud chuckle at the other end of the camera, a large hand moving around to detach his son from the lens.

"Alright Scotty," hearing Jeff's low voice made Gordon start. He almost turned around to see if he was actually in the room, but held back seeing the others enraptured by the screen. "Who are we going to see today?"

Little Scott wiggled excitedly. He looked around him before breaking into a grin. "Mummy!"

"That's right, did you hear that John?" The camera swiveled towards Jeff's side, revealing a small boy toddling beside him. He had a shaggy cut of platinum blonde hair in his younger years, and was sucking nervously on his thumb, the other hand travelling towards his father's spare one. "We're going to see mummy…and who else?"

John looked up at his father, blinking at him owlishly.

The toddler didn't say anything, just stared, which was so like John that it made Gordon laugh. Soon Alan was joining in. John glared at them both, "hey, I was cute," he defended before mimicking the face his younger self was displaying.

"I know!" Scott called excitedly, drawing the cameras attention back towards him. He was racing ahead down a paved path and Jeff was struggling to keep up with him. "Viggle will be there."

Jeff chuckled, the camera wobbling as he bent down to pick John up so that he could catch up with his eldest. "What was that?"

"Viggle! I get to be a brother 'gain."

Jeff laughed out rightly this time, realizing he had heard right. John whimpered somewhere close to the camera at the sudden movement. "That's right; you do get to be a brother again. But Virgil is just a baby remember, so we have to be gentle."

"I'm gentle with Johnny!" Scott protested, zig zagging across the path like a drunk person. John whimpered again as though protesting this statement.

"What's wrong little man?" Jeff asked, turning the camera back on John. Eyes the colour of sea glass looked back at the camera with a dejected expression. "You don't want to be a big brother?"

John shook his head, placing his thumb back in his mouth.

"I thought that's what you asked Santa for? A new baby?"

John's face crumpled before he buried his head in his father's shoulder.

"Well," Jeff turned the camera towards his own face, a much younger version of their father appearing on screen. Here, his hair was still brown (which was something Gordon never remembered seeing) and there was something lighter in his eyes. "Here you go mother, here's the boys first meeting with Virgil. He's bigger than either of these ones were, I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not…well, this footage should tide you over, but we're all looking forward to your visit next week. You could make it sooner if you want?" Jeff grinned hopefully before clicking the camera off.

"Wow Johnny, if you didn't want me around you should have said something!" Virgil joked. He was sitting on the edge of the couch, a relaxed grin spread across his face, looking more engaged than he had been in a while.

"Yeah, they already had one perfect son, why did they need more?" John retorted, smile growing as the next footage appeared on the screen.

Virgil shrugged. "Back-up?"

"What was I? The test run?" Scott asked, shaking his head in amusement. The three of them chuckled and Gordon felt some of the tension in the room already begin to alleviate. Alan and Gordon shared an amused glance. Though there really wasn't much of an age gap between any of the siblings, the three years between Gordon and Virgil separated the elder siblings from the younger. Due to this Alan and Gordon had been affectionately dubbed the 'tinies'. These videos were an insight into the years and bond they had never really been a part of

The camera flicked back on and instantly they were hit with an image of their mother.

There was intake of breath all round, Gordon filled with the sudden and horrid realization that he had forgotten what she looked like. She lay in a hospital bed, thin face drawn and pale. Strands of scraggly blonde hair slid to her shoulders, and her eyes were ringed with dark circles, but once she grinned up at the camera her appearance changed instantly.

"Hi Ruth!" She called, strong voice sending shivers through Gordon. He remembered that sound. Young Scott was sitting next to his mother, while John was curled at the foot of her bed. Lucille Tracy held a small bundle, tufts of dark hair the only link with grown Virgil. Jeff turned the camera towards the baby who was wriggling noiselessly.

"I was chubby," Virgil commented.

"Was?" Gordon teased.

"Virgil can't wait to meet you," Lucille continued talking to the camera. Scott reached a small hand to pat his brother on the head, giggling at how soft his hair felt. Gently, their mother shifted half of Virgil's weight onto Scott, instructing him to support his head. Scott did as he was asked; beaming at his father as though he was proving how gentle he could be.

"John Sweetie, do you want to come say hi?" she asked softly. John shook his head adamantly and remained as far away as he could while still being close to their mother.

"He's going to be here for a while John, you might as well meet him," Jeff said, nudging his second eldest on the shoulder. "He's not scary."

"Put…him back in ground," John whispered, eyes glued to the new baby.

Lucy snorted, sharing an 'I told you so' look with Jeff. Jeff cleared his throat, "Ah, why would we put him back in the ground Johnny?"

"Cause that's where he came from."

"Don't be silly John," Scott shook his very knowledgeable head, "he came from the shop not the ground."

"Then take him back."

The camera shook as Jeff tried not to laugh. Lucy shook her head and pulled Virgil away from Scott. He looked upset at having the responsibility taken away from him. "No, we're not taking him back baby; we're going to keep him. He's your new brother, which means you have to look after him, ok?"

Scott nodded eagerly; John just curled up some more, studying the baby like he was a being from another planet. Jeff turned the camera back on himself, said a few more words to Ruth, before shutting it off as Virgil began to cry.

They were all silent for a moment, staring at the space where their mother had just been. Gordon felt a twinge of sorrow at the thought that now neither of their parents were with them to look back on old memories. John's plan however, was apparently having an effect. Virgil had been glancing sheepishly towards Scott, while their eldest brother just pretended he wasn't affected by the tape at all. "I think the name Viggle should have stuck," he stated.

Virgil rolled his eyes, lips twitching in amusement.

"Are there any more?" Alan asked excitedly, considerably brighter upon seeing their mother. As hard as it was for Gordon to remember her it was even worse for Alan.

John nodded, "how about we jump forward a few years…"

Carols played in the background as the camera displayed the lounge of their first home together. A tall Christmas tree, lavishly covered in tinsel and baubles, was the center piece of the room. Striped and dotted presents were spread beneath, and two of the boys were playing under it. A bell like laugh from behind the camera indicated it was Lucy's turn to film.

Scott, around eleven, turned at the sound of his mother's voice. "Mum, don't get that thing out again!"

"Oh but its Christmas!" Lucy protested, walking towards where her eldest and youngest were playing beneath the tree. Baby Alan was rocking back and forth, a Christmas bow stuck to the front of his forehead. "And I forgot to film last year!"

"Is that me?" Alan asked excitedly, almost in wonder that they actually had footage of him.

"Sure is sprout, you used to be so cute," Scott shook his head in disappointment.

"Used to?" Alan pouted.

"What are you doing angel?" Lucy asked, moving the camera down to her son's level. Scott, on his knees, had Alan's hands in his and was wiggling them to the tune of the Christmas carol. Alan was giggling manically, the bits of ribbon falling in front of his face making him laugh even harder. He couldn't have been older than three if their mother was still alive.

"Virgil wanted to play the piano so I said I'd stay with Alan. Even though it was his turn…" Scott grinned despite his words. "But I don't mind."

"Thank you, Allie's having fun, aren't you baby?"

Alan giggled louder and bounced up and down. Lucy chuckled, getting back on her feet she turned the camera towards the couch where John was lying. Even at ten he was already long and lanky, completely absorbed into one of his books. Their mother gave a running commentary as she panned the room, "and there's my little star reading…up here we have the homemade decorations that the boys have been making…oh and there's my muse practicing his Christmas songs." She zoomed in on Virgil playing the piano, who looked up shyly as she did so. He was just hitting the keys like a true beginner, but Lucy sounded equally as proud.

"Now, let's go see how the kitchen boys are getting on…" She turned the camera towards her face. "For some reason Jeff decided to cook. He hates cooking, and to make things worse," she chuckled again, "Gordon decided to join him."

In the present day lounge the rest of them groaned. Gordon felt truly offended that they didn't have more faith in his cooking abilities. "Definitely gets his skills from Grandma…" Alan said, screwing up his nose. The others whole heartedly agreed.

Lucille snuck into the kitchen, catching an exasperated Jeff with the camera. Their father was wearing an apron, apparently attempting to mix ingredients in a bowl. He had half of it spilt down his front, and appeared to have egg dripping down his shoulder.

"Mummy!" Young Gordon squawked as he spotted her. He was short, even for a five year old, and his hair was splayed in all directions. "Look what I did!" Gordon didn't point towards any spectacular food creation, but instead at the mess on his father.

"Yes, you've been a great help," Jeff said dryly, turning to shake his head at his wife. He whispered "help me" to her, gesturing both at the bowl and his son.

"Gordon, have you been throwing eggs at your father? I thought we told you not to do that anymore," Lucy chided, but seeing his eyes grow wide she ruffled his hair affectionately.

"I didn't throw them I just squashed them," Gordon replied boldly, scraping his foot back and forth across the lino. "It's Christmas and Santa won't mind!"

"No, but someone else might," Jeff said, rolling his eyes.

The clip cut away to various shots of the evening; Virgil playing them all a song, Alan attempting to sing, even John reading them the entire Christmas story. It was an evening of laughter and light, and it made Gordon relive his sadness as he realised it was the last one they had with their mother.

They watched a few more, at one point all in hysterics at one that filmed parts of the school production they had been in. Scott had downright refused to be involved so sat in the audience with their parents. Virgil had been a musician in the orchestra, John played the part of a tree, and Gordon was a flower fairy who did a lot of interpretive dance. Then there were clips from times at the fair, evenings at their grandparents, camping trips, even just quick shots of Alan and Gordon sleeping on top of Jeff, or him reading them all a story.

After a while the videos stopped. Alan had been no more than three in them, and Scott never progressed past twelve. Jeff never recorded again after the death of his wife, and Gordon didn't blame him. He had captured golden memories, and they wouldn't want to be reminded how they all were after her death.

Alan's head had dropped onto Scott's shoulder, eyelids drooping as exhaustion (and painkillers) from the day's events threatened to overwhelm him. The eldest wrapped an arm around his brother's waist and attempted to lift him up.

"Let me help," Virgil said instantly, at Alan's side before he could get an answer. He and Scott shared a glance, signaling the return of the famous telepathy, which made Gordon breathe a sigh of relief. Now he could rest easy knowing that they would sort it out.

"M'fine," Alan mumbled, but he allowed himself to be escorted. His leg had been badly sprained and would no doubt keep him out of action for a few days. "Thanks Johnny!" he called, "that was some trip down memory lane."

"Our memories you mean," Virgil chuckled. "You were still a baby."

"Yeah whatever, it was good anyway. Mum was amazing, wasn't she?"

"You bet she was kid."

Scott nodded, shooting a meaningful glance towards John. "She really was..." he paused. "So was Dad, and we were all a whole lot cuter than we are now. Thanks Johnny."

John dipped his head in recognition, and the others left the room. Gordon grinned. His brothers sure could say a lot in such a little amount of words. "Such a simple solution really…" Gordon pondered, hitting John on the arm. "I don't know why I didn't think of it."

"Because I'm the genius, that's why. You think it will work?"

"It'll get Scott and Virg talking, that's for sure."

"…and you and Scott?"

Gordon shrugged before winking at his brother. "You'll just have to find out."

John took that as a yes. With a lighter heart, he watched Gordon leave the room. Plan home video had been a success, and he sure didn't mind delving into the happy memories. Sure there had been some bad times too, but they didn't need to be reminded of those now. Now they needed something to draw them back together, to remember what Jeff had created International Rescue for.

Proud of himself, John turned off the lights and headed toward his room. Little did he know that his plan had set Gordon's decision firmly into action. When Gordon watched those videos, he saw how they revolved around Jeff. He saw his mother, and remembered that International Rescue was for her. He reminded himself that the world, and other families like theirs, needed International Rescue functioning well, far more than his brothers needed him around.

And to do that, they needed Jeff. Sure, tonight might get them talking again, might tide them over for a few more rescues. But what happens when things start to go downhill again? They couldn't afford to leave it, Gordon had to move now. So that's what he did. In the quiet of the night, when everyone else was fast asleep, he packed his bag and headed down toward the beach.

ooooo

It was when Gordon didn't show up for his morning swim that Scott knew something was wrong.

He himself was feeling refreshed, and lighter, ready to set about the day making things right with his brothers. Perhaps he would even hold a meeting where they could tell him what he needed to do better, what would make it easier for them.

But when Scott had returned from his run to find John was the only one up, it was a certain feeling of dread that filled him. There was no disturbance to the pool at all, and Gordon never missed a swim. When Scott didn't reply to John's greeting, even the astronaut looked a little nervous.

Without explanation Scott raced upstairs. Gordon would just be sleeping. He would be tired after last night; perhaps he wanted to try something new. Maybe he changed his swim time, maybe he was feeling sore, maybe he had already been…maybe…Scott pushed the door open to his brothers room, and saw what he most feared. An empty bed. With a sinking feeling and shaking hands, he reached to clasp the small piece of paper left on the pillow.

Reading it, his heart practically split in two.

"…Scott?" John's voice from the doorway made him jump.

Screwing the paper up in his hand, Scott turned to his brother. "Gordon's gone."