Harry found himself flipping to the next chapter with a smile on his face, and he put it all down to the fact that he was headed over to the Burrow house!
James couldn't help a little smirk, at least his cloak was mentioned first.
"Assorted," Lily sniffed at their typical over exaggeration. "It's going to be Ron, one of his parents, and that's it. They might try to make pleasant conversation for five seconds before they realize you're a waste of space and be done."
Sirius couldn't help but squirm in agitation. He hated to think of Harry there when they were in a good mood, he didn't like to think of him being around when they were even more bad tempered with him than normal.
"Oh yes, because they're so likely to come in their nightgowns," Remus snorted.
"What does he mean by normal?" James frowned.
"If they showed up in their best black tie, Vernon would still hate them, so it doesn't really matter," Lily huffed.
All five of them were frowning for that very same reason now, none of them wanted to hear about this exchange. It might have the one benefit of making the Weasley's look further into Harry's care there, it just sort of depended on how bad this got.
"Sadly we know better," Sirius sighed.
"A feat he would marvelously fail at no matter what he's wearing," Remus scathed.
"Still one of my favorite moments," Sirius snickered.
James didn't even try to smother his cackle, that was hilarious and deserved.
Lily shuddered in protest of imagining her poor boy eating that, thankful that the moment Harry arrived at the Weasley's they'd stuff more than enough food down him.
"I'm not even going to ask for what," Remus rolled his eyes.
That gave them all a pause, as they considered this for the first time. The most common way for them to travel was apparition, but neither of Ron's parents would attempt that with two minors.
"Maybe Mr. Weasley did get another car and flew, err, drove it there," James offered with a small smirk.
"I somehow doubt it," Lily huffed. "After the catastrophe of the last one, even with the end results."
"Well then, I've got nothing." Remus shrugged, waving Harry on with curiosity now.
"Makes sense," Lily nodded in agreement.
"Can't say I'm remotely surprised," Sirius mumbled.
James just rolled his eyes, he didn't need to ask to grasp that this must just be a very nice style of car.
Remus couldn't help a little snort of surprise at such a random comparison, though he rather liked the idea.
"Really, because I'm rather enjoying it." James couldn't help a little sneer, any discomfort those Dursley's ever carried managing to vindictively cheer him up.
"Uh oh," Sirius muttered, raising a brow in surprise.
"Maybe Arthur got stuck at the office" Lily offered with a small frown, thinking there were plenty of logical reasons as to why either he or Molly could be running late.
"Or traffic," Remus agreed, unable to get his tone quite to the careless level he wanted.
They were probably all being paranoid for no reason, but it was hard to fight off after so many stressful days in a row. They really needed this to just be some simple mistake, and not something terrible having happened to the Weasley's next.
"And you're an arse," Lily muttered. She was sure it wasn't five minutes and he was already jumping at Harry for it.
Harry was trying, as lightly as possible, to dig at his feelings and wonder if that anxious feeling got worse, and was pleased to find he didn't think the night ended too badly. Surely that meant nothing disastrous happened, it really was just an innocent mistake of being late. His tone carried that as he kept reading, managing to relax the others a little bit.
"It's not as if they could call you and tell you," Lily rolled her eyes.
"Who on earth thinks like that?" Sirius scoffed.
"I somehow doubt that," James scoffed, thinking that at least Ron would have mailed something to Harry otherwise.
Remus sighed, sick of listening to this man categorize the whole of wizards, he hated stereotyping in general.
Lily couldn't help but start when Harry started up with that noise, all eyes now watching him wearily like Harry was fixing to announce something had been set on fire.
"His safe haven," Sirius nodded absently.
The second Sirius recognized what Harry was describing, he cracked up laughing, managing to melt all tension in the room. "Someone," he managed to gasp, "someone's got themselves stuck in the chimney!"
"They tried to Floo there." Lily added with an indulgent grin.
"Why would you board up a fireplace?" James asked, a crazy smile on his own face at how absurd the idea was.
"Some Muggles prefer electric fireplaces," Remus shrugged, not bothering to cover his mirth one bit. "What I'm curious is how the Weasley's even pulled this off, Muggle fireplaces aren't connected to the Floo."
"I'm assuming Arthur worked something out with the Ministry," Lily managed while still half giggling.
"Fred?" Remus repeated in surprise. "Why would the twins come along?"
"Why wouldn't they?" James smirked "Just an innocent pick up of their friend."
"Probably told their dad they wanted to see a Muggle house in daylight, he'd have eaten that right up," Remus agreed.
"I'm surprised Molly let them, after the last time they snuck off there," Lily said.
"How were they supposed to get back?" Sirius chuckled "They'd have to Floo, and there's clearly no fire, or setting a fire while they're stuck in there."
James was now at least pretending to suppress his laughter as he stuffed his fist in his mouth to keep hearing what was happening. No one had an actual answer for Sirius though, so Harry kept going.
Harry was having trouble keeping his own amusement under a lid as he kept going. Oh he'd been able to hear every word, and though he felt plenty bad for the fix they'd wound up in, the situation was too priceless not to at least give a little chuckle.
The smile slipped right off of Lily's face at least, detesting that the very first thing they did was turn on Harry in anger for something he'd had no control over. It didn't matter how many times she heard it happen to him, she would never not hate it.
"Oh Harry, it's not mad at all." Sirius' grin was still getting wider the longer this dragged on, still picturing those three squashed together like that the funniest thing he'd heard in days. "I should know, I'm an expert."
Remus gave him the stank eye for the joke, like he would have smacked him if he could reach, and Sirius happily stuck his tongue out at him since he couldn't for the time being.
James was definitely curious enough to ask, but strung together that a plug must somehow help run the electricity, so he squashed it and filed it away for later.
All five of them fell with refreshed laughter, truly unable to stop themselves as they kept imagining how squished that tiny space was getting, and now hoping Ginny, Molly, or Percy hadn't been invited along as well.
"I can imagine," James voice quaked with laughter as he got that out.
"I guess he's going to blast his way out of there," Sirius was still wiping happy tears from his eyes, not at all sorry for laughing at the expense of the poor Weasley boys, he knew for a fact his friends would laugh at him if this exact same circumstances happened to him.
"Wouldn't I get into trouble for that though?" Harry frowned. "Magic's not allowed at my house."
"They shouldn't say anything to you, since the Ministry knows Arthur's coming to get you," Lily shrugged. "There might be an inquiry, but it would be Arthur who explains why he did it, so you're in the clear this time."
"Course he did," James lit up all the more, "and I hope he pays for it."
All five of them got one good last laugh as they pictured a clown car like tumble out of that cramped space.
Their good mood still lingered enough that they only got a small twist of their lips in displeasure at such a statement, rather than the full blown rant of hatred each of them felt at such a relation.
"Good of him to start with some manners," Sirius muttered, humor still gleaming in his eyes as he now wanted to shake Arthur's hand for scaring the Dursley's crapless like that.
"Guess he should clean that place out more often," Remus smirked.
"I'm not" James said sincerely.
"Arthur seems pretty well connected all over." Lily noted, hadn't he also gotten those World Cup tickets from work? She found him a pleasant man and she'd never even met him. It didn't really surprise her though, as the longer she thought about it, she supposed several parts of the Ministry would have to go talk to the Muggle office for several things.
"That's their own fault," Sirius scoffed. "Maybe if they were decent people, Harry would have explained all of it to them."
"Still love the term rescue," Remus muttered, sad how fitting the description was.
"Really, like what?" James asked in surprise, as this hadn't ever come up before.
"Just some of the wilder things he's done like his tantrums and such." Harry shrugged, "I used to compare him and Malfoy a lot back in first year, plus how fat Dudley was. Had a bit of a laugh when I sent Ron that letter that Dudley was on a diet, I suppose he would have showed that to Fred and George."
This rather intrigued the others, as Harry kept himself so closed off in any retelling of the Dursley's, it was rare he ever elaborated on whatever the book showed, that it was interesting indeed he'd clearly shared some of it with at least Ron and his brothers as a laugh. It didn't erase the darker things they wondered about what went on in that house, and Harry's face still clearly showed now he didn't want to talk about it. He proved that by continuing to read as soon as he was done explaining.
Lily in particular released a snort for that comment, picturing the dust coated living room because of Mr. Weasley. Perhaps now hadn't been the best time to mention that, but it was the thought that counted.
"Something I hope keeps for the rest of their lives," Sirius chuckled.
"Credit to him for restraining himself," Remus smiled lightly, Arthur was clearly trying his hardest to keep things friendly, though he had no idea that the Dursley's didn't deserve it.
"Well to be fair, there are much weirder things I've heard Muggles collect." Lily snickered, she didn't find it that weird at all.
"Now that could get really interesting, really fast," James said almost eagerly.
Lily on the other hand raised a brow in surprise. While she detested Vernon just as much as her sister, more then she'd hated anyone in her life as a matter of fact, and loathed even giving him one spot of light, it was there when he did the act of attempting to hide his wife. As cruel as he was to her son, Vernon at least showed in that moment that he did hold concern for his own family at least, not that this made up in any way for his cruelty to Harry.
"A marvelous feat in itself," Sirius grinned.
"So much credit to him for trying." Remus said again, still half laughing even as he said that.
"Well you're just no help at all Harry," Sirius mock scold.
"You have far more restraint than us," James beamed.
"Aww," Lily couldn't help but coo. Not that Dudley, or any of the Dursley's, deserved Arthur's sympathy, but it was the genuine thought that meant something.
"I think that translated to no," Sirius quipped.
"Now why would they do that?" Remus asked with interest.
"They wouldn't mess with Dudley in front of their dad," Lily said without a trace of hope, she really wouldn't put anything past the twins, they reminded her too much of the Marauders.
"I would give Arthur all the money in the world if he'd curse them," James sighed wistfully, knowing it wasn't going to happen, but what they'd experienced this day being pleasant enough, he'd accept the defeat.
"Uh oh," all three boys sang as one.
"I've never seen wizards sweets tested on a Muggle." Lily said with just a hint of curiosity. "Do you think they'd work? I know some won't work on squibs and such."
"Well let's find out," Sirius said eagerly, waving her down, clearly no one in the room gave even a second to think this had been done by accident.
"Sad he didn't get to watch his handiwork play out," James said sincerely.
Harry hated to interrupt himself, somehow he just knew he was about to get to the best part, but still he couldn't stop himself from asking "How come last time the powder had to be used individually, but this time they're all going with just one blast?"
"It depends how much is used," Remus happily explained. "The Floo will stay activated the more powder is put in, most people use the smallest amount possible and go one at a time so as not to waste and let it linger longer than it has to. This time Mr. Weasley must not have wanted to take the chance of not bringing enough, so he just used more than enough."
Harry happily nodded his thanks before continuing.
The four of them still had enough kindling annoyance to huff and roll their eyes at this now common display, no matter how much it appeared.
"Oh they heard him." Despite James abundance of agitation at how they treated his son, he couldn't help a hopeful tone as he wondered if, finally, someone else would witness this first hand. It was such a minor thing in all honesty, but he still crossed his fingers it would be enough that Mr. Weasley would really ask Harry about it.
Sirius was so eager to hear the same kind of thing, he was even momentarily distracted from wondering what that sweet would do. Was it possible Arthur would finally step in like Sirius couldn't and say something to these useless Muggles!?
"Half surprised he's not cheerfully waving and praising the heavens he'll be gone," Remus grumbled.
"Every last drop of which is deserved, plus so much more" Lily hissed.
"If only," all four of them muttered.
"Yes!" The four boys swapped attention at once, practically on the edge of their seat to hear this play out, fully ignoring whatever discomfort this caused their injuries.
Harry had not effectively gone through that whole paragraph without having to raise his voice to keep being heard, the others were laughing too hard. Finally though he had to stop himself, he couldn't keep going he was laughing himself at the mental image.
Remus was the first to start breathing normally again, rubbing happily at his abused chest and ignoring any lingering pain he had because of it. This had been exactly what the lot of them needed, the Dursley's to get even the smallest dose of payback for what all they'd done to Harry, and for them to get a good laugh in.
Harry came back to himself soon enough, and though the others were still chuckling happily, he decided to keep going, noting that there wasn't much left.
"Yes, I'm so sure that'll help," Lily managed in shaking tones.
"Nope." James returned, "He's the one definitely doing the most good."
"Good luck with that," Sirius snorted, still not quite in his normal intelligible voice he was still half laughing.
Lily on the other hand felt a stirring towards Petunia for the first time since the first chapter of the first book. Empathy. She'd never forgive Petunia for what she'd done to Harry, but in that one moment, Petunia was acting exactly as her sister had once done to land her nephew in that house. She didn't understand what was happening, she only feared for the safety of her child, and that one action caused Lily to flash back and remember Harry's horrible dementor memory once again of Lily doing the exact same thing. She was blinking in delayed shock, and realizing that none of them had noticed her change in demeanor, Harry was still reading.
James was practically wheezing beside his wife he was trying so hard to stop himself laughing hard enough Harry would stop again, the task becoming more difficult the longer this dragged on.
"Can't deny I'd like to see this," Remus muttered.
"Now really," Lily raised a brow in surprise, "What good would that do?"
"He's panicking," Harry said with a shrug, still smiling broadly with every word.
"They wouldn't care one little bit if you were helping, or trying to burn your house down, they would be acting the exact same way" Sirius scoffed, hoping the situation could still somehow get worse.
"What, no!" James all but begged. "Harry more than anyone deserves to see this play out!"
Lily couldn't help but wonder if Vernon was actually aiming for Harry, so at this point she couldn't help but agree with Arthur, she'd rather like her son to get out of there, or things really could get worse.
"I want to capture that moment forever," Sirius sighed, actually closing his eyes and mentally etching that into his memory, determined to think on that instead of something worse next time those useless muggles came to mind.
"Chapters done!" Harry happily cheered as he stood and went to give the book to Remus.
"I think I'm honestly disappointed," Remus pouted as he juggled the baby and the book, before Harry took pity on him and took the infant. "That was the best chapter yet, and by our track record that means we've probably got three bad chapters in a row coming up now."
"Oh cheer up Remus," James tried to put that emotion into his own tone. "Harry's going to the Weasley's, he's going to the World Cup, I doubt anything bad can happen there."