Author Notes: This AU scene was written when I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel after Kaname and Zero were rescued from that raging river in Chapter Twenty One! Vani had hinted that while they wouldn't be admitting their love to each other so soon, they (or Kaname to start off with) would at least clear the air on several issues. Needless to say, I could not wait for the actual Chapter Twenty Two to come out, hence this AU scene was born! Had no clue about the lovely villa nor the soft Egyptian sheets though, but I love the actual Chapter Twenty Two! -grins-

Summary: After they have both recovered from the harrowing river experience, Kaname decides to finally let Zero know a few things…

-- Chapter Start --

"I want you to know how I feel, Zero," Kaname admitted huskily as he stood in front of the hunter and looked deep into his eyes. No more hiding behind walls now... no more stupid pride or believing in mistaken assumptions anymore. It wasn't fair to Zero and frankly, Kaname was sick and tired of all the hurt and inadvertent heartache he had caused them both. The pureblood realised that in trying to protect his heart all this while, he had only ended up hurting it even more, and Zero too.

The rawly honest look in Kaname's eyes and the way he was looking at him, as if nothing else mattered and nothing else existed caught at Zero's heartstrings. He couldn't have turned away from him at that moment even if he had wanted to. They were past the stage of wanting to hide their weakness or their dependence on each other now. They knew each other too well, they had seen both the best and worse the other had to offer. So Zero merely nodded.

"When I see you depressed, Zero... it makes me sad," Kaname began, his voice honest and earnest. "When I don't know where you are, it makes me worry. When I found out you were actually... suicidal... I – I was in despair," Kaname's voice showed the hopelessness he felt then, in hurting at his lover's unwillingness to go on living, to keep him company and to take his bitter loneliness away.

"When I realised - belatedly - that I had hurt you –" Kaname's voice cracked and he had to stop to swallow, his eyes filled with anguish at the memory. "Zero, I wanted to kill myself after that," he finished in a whisper. "You have no idea how much I hated myself then."

Zero shook his head, a sheen of tears filling his eyes. Kaname knew the instinctive comfort that the hunter was trying to convey to him and it forced from the pureblood the courage to continue saying what he wanted to.

"Zero, when you let me near you, it gives me hope. When you share your blood with me, like in my room after you removed that hunter charm, or by the river that time, it leaves me in awe, wondering what I had done to receive that amount of trust from you."

Zero was staring at him, stunned and hungrily drinking up each word as a small, wondering smile blossomed on his lips. Kaname saw that smile and it warmed his hurting, broken heart like nothing could.

"When you smile at me, Zero, I'm happy," Kaname finished simply. It was an admission really, of how much his happiness and state of mind, hell, any part of him pretty much depended on the hunter, but Kaname didn't care anymore. He knew now that it was safe to confide in Zero, to lay his emotions bare to him, like how he had bared his own body for him so many times before.

"Just tell me what you want, that will make you happy, Zero. I swear, I will give it to you if it is in my power. Anything you want," Kaname promised truthfully. Then he bit his lip. "Well, not everything," he conceded reluctantly. "Don't – don't ask me to go on living without you," he voiced out his greatest fear. That alone would kill me.

"What would make me happy, Kaname?" echoed Zero softly, more tears welling up in his eyes and spilling over. Could it really be that simple? He had to believe it could be...

"Letting me stay by your side... not as a binded ex-human slave, not as someone you have to tolerate because you share a blood bond with him, but as myself, and because you want me to." Zero's gaze was direct, with no hesitation whatsoever. It almost sounded and looked like he was issuing a condition to the pureblood – accept me as I am, Kaname, or not at all.

Zero's honest words pulled fiercely at Kaname's heartstrings and his eyes grew wet in response - the fierce ache in his hurting heart was just too much to keep inside.

"Are you sure?" he breathed, hardly daring to believe his lover's words. "Are you sure that that would make you happy, Zero?" he choked out.

Zero nodded. "That is all I ever wanted, you know."

A sob escaped Kaname's lips. Was it really that simple after all? Each of them thinking the other so cold, so uncaring when in actual fact... "Zero, that is what I want, what I need to make me happy. I didn't realise -" For a moment, Kaname was unable to continue. Zero ached so much to take this hurting pureblood into his arms, but he had to be sure, because he had suffered so much himself and for so long. "I can't live without you. I don't want to, Kaname. I want to stay by your side, as your lover... and as your friend, if you'll let me."

As your equal.

Zero didn't say those words out loud but Kaname read them in his eyes and he quickly reassured the hunter. "I want you to stay by my side, Zero. As my friend, as my lover... and as my equal."

Zero exhaled shakily. All this time of wishing, wanting and longing for this but never daring to hope... Kaname's eyes were bright with unshed tears but they finally spilled over when he entreated, "Zero, tell me that this would make you happy."

Zero choked back a sob. "Kaname, this would – this would..." he couldn't finish his sentence. "Thank you," he whispered as he stepped forward, reaching out to pull the pureblood into his arms.

Thank you? Thank you for making my own wishes come true? Kaname shook his head in disbelief even as his own arms came up to curl tightly around the hunter, pressing close to him. "No, Zero. Thank you."

They clung to each other, sobbing quietly. Just being with each other, just staying by each other's side was all they ever wanted, only they had been too blind to see how much the other wanted it too. Both of them had stumbled around in the dark, unknowingly hurting the other as they tried to protect their heart, not realising it was already too late, that they were already bound to each other, body, heart and soul... as friends, lovers and equals.

Forever.

-- Chapter End --