Santana lost her breath at the sight of Quinn, she looked better than ever. Santana thought she was more than beautiful when they were together but now, there was no words to describe it, Quinn was flawless.

As she looked into those hazel eyes which she had missed so much she couldn't help but smile, seeing Quinn always did that to her, only now Quinn wasn't hers and she couldn't really act on what she was feeling inside.

"Do you want to come in?" Santana asked her, moving slightly to the side to give Quinn room to enter the apartment.

Quinn only nodded in return and walked past Santana.

Santana closed the door and noticed how Quinn sat down on the couch so she walked over and sat down on it as well choosing to leave a little bit of distance between the two of them even though what she really wanted to do was lunge for Quinn and hold on to her so tightly and never let her go.

It was silence, Quinn had her hands clasped together resting on her thighs just above the knee. Santana couldn't bare it, she needed some words to be spoken, and they needed to speak about the subject which pained her to even think about.

She decided that she would start off with something small and hopefully that would work its way up to the inevitable.

"You cut your hair, it looks really good on you"

Quinn's eyes scrunched together as she heard Santana say this, like Santana giving her the compliment hurt her, like it wasn't what she needed to hear right now because it just made everything harder than it already was.

"Santana" Quinn exhaled.

She shifted her eyes up from her lap and lifted her head up and turned it so that she was facing Santana.

Santana could see the pain in Quinn's eyes, she knew that this was hard on her and she didn't know what she could do about that.

"Sorry" Santana apologised quietly, she knows that she can't really say stuff like that to Quinn anymore but it was so hard not to. To her it feels like it was still three years ago and they're still together and happy, it was incredibly hard for her to get the bomb dropped on her that it was three years later and Quinn was engaged to someone else. Old habits really do die hard.

"I know I shouldn't really say stuff like that to you anymore, especially now you're…."

Santana couldn't say it, if she said that word it would have made it seem more real and she couldn't deal with that right now, she didn't know if she was ever going to be okay with it or get over it because Quinn was the love of her life.

"You know?" Quinn asked her, already knowing the answer to it.

"Yeah" Santana confirmed.

Quinn paused for a moment before continuing along with the conversation, "I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I didn't wait for you" Quinn said in a quiet voice full of regret.

Santana hated seeing Quinn like this, she was so vulnerable right now that it wasn't the Quinn Fabray she was used to.

She decreased the distance between them and placed her hand on Quinn's cheek to get her to look her in the eyes. Although as soon as Quinn felt Santana's touch on her cheek her eyes instantly closed, like the feeling of Santana's hand on her skin brought everything back to her, the craving for her touch. Her cheek nuzzled into the warmth of Santana's hand, relishing in the feeling of Santana touching her after three long years.

She lifted up her hand to cover Santana's on her cheek, not to push it away, but to keep it held there. She didn't want Santana to ever let go.

"Look at me Quinn" Santana softly whispered.

Quinn slowly opened her eyes and lifted them up to look into the brown orbs opposite her.

"I get it Q"

Quinn felt shockwaves ripple through her as Santana used her old nickname, it only felt right to her when Santana called her it, when out of other people's mouths it wasn't the same, it was never the same.

"I can't imagine what it was like for you to see my in that state, I hate that you had to be put through that. Hearing that you're with someone else killed me but it's natural to move on" It pained Santana to say that last part but she needed Quinn to know that she wasn't angry, she could never be angry at the blonde in front of her.

By now tears were sliding down Quinn's cheeks and Santana did her best to catch every single one.

They leaned their foreheads against one another's, craving the touch of each other after all these years apart it felt like they were being drawn together.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to move on from you" Quinn admitted and once Santana heard that she couldn't stop herself from leaning in further.

She got to the point where her lips were just about to connect to Quinn's.

"We can't" Quinn whispered, her breath landing on Santana's lips.

Santana sighed, she knew Quinn was right. Quinn was engaged now, she wasn't hers anymore, she couldn't just kiss her whenever she felt like it and that was something which would take some getting used to.

"I know" She replied. "Where does this leave us Q?"

Quinn hesitated before replying, she needed to think about it because if she wasn't honest she didn't know where it left them. However one thing she did know was that she couldn't not have Santana in her life, she had spent three years without her and now that Santana was back she couldn't not go on without being in her life.

"I don't know, friends?" She suggested.

Santana leant back, it wasn't the answer she wanted. Although she knew when she asked the question that she wasn't going to get the answer she wanted anyway.

However, she knew that having Quinn as a friend would be better than not having her in her life at all so she knew that she would have to settle it.

"I guess so" Santana sighed and Quinn gave her a small smile. "So I guess since you're my friend that I should tell you that Brittany is throwing a party here on Friday"

"What for?" Quinn asked.

"My awakening" Santana informed her, "So, if you want to come you're welcome to"

"Yeah, maybe"

"Can I ask you something Q?" Quinn nodded.

"You're engaged… to a guy?" It wasn't so much a question but she hoped that Quinn could answer it.

Quinn's shoulders fell a little at this, knowing that it would hurt Santana slightly. She didn't want that.

"You were the only woman for me Santana" Quinn truthfully told her.

Santana's head leaned back and she released the breath she was holding in. She didn't know what to do with that response or how to process it.

They chatted for a little while longer until Quinn announced that she had to get home. That gave Santana a horrible feeling in her stomach and her heart because she knew that Quinn had to get back to him.

Santana walked Quinn to the front door and opened it for her. However Santana stopped Quinn at the last second before she was about to leave.

"Can I ask for one more thing?" Santana hoped that Quinn would say yes to it.

Quinn nodded and asked "What is it?"

"Can I have a hug? Friends do that right?" she hoped yes was the answer.

Quinn paused before replying, "Yes, they do that"

Santana released a small smile at this, knowing that she would be able to feel Quinn's body pressed against her own again, she needed it, she needed this feeling.

The closed the distance between each other and embraced each other. At first it was a small hug but then Santana wrapped her arms tighter around Quinn's waist causing Quinn to nuzzle her face further into Santana's neck.

"I've really missed you San" Quinn admitted.

"Me too Q, me too"

"Hey Quinn?" Matt called through the house.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"Where's your phone? I need that photo of us at the beach to send to my mom" he said as he walked into the kitchen where Quinn was standing cooking dinner.

"It's on the table" she responded in a semi small voice.

Ever since she had gone to see Santana a few days ago it had been all she could think about. Santana was constantly on her mind 24/7 and it made everything else seem unimportant to her because all that she was thinking about was her ex-girlfriend.

Matt picked up the phone and started to go through it, searching for what he was looking for.

"Oh, you got a text" he told her.

"What does it say?"

"That there is an awakening party for someone named Santana on Friday. Who's Santana?" He asked her.

Quinn's heart stopped, she wasn't ready to have this conversation with him. She couldn't deal with Matt knowing all about her history with Santana, it was just too much for her to handle right now.

"She's my… She used to be my best friend" Her words were slightly true, Santana had always been her best friend, she just missed out the part where they were in a relationship and she was the love of Quinn's life.

"Why is there an awakening party for her?"

"She was in a coma for three years" it hurt Quinn to say that because these past three years were the hardest of Quinn's life.

"And she just woke up?" Quinn nodded at his question.

"Wow, so are we going to this thing on Friday?" he asked.

Quinn noticed how he said 'we', she couldn't have matt go to that party. She couldn't have Matt and Santana in the same room together and she certainly couldn't bring him to a party to celebrate Santana waking up.

"Matt I don't think…" Quinn started off but she was quickly cut off.

"You've never mentioned this Santana before, it will be nice talking to some of your old friends" he cheerfully said. "Anyway, I'm going to go send this off to my mom. Give me a shout when dinner is ready"

With that Matt walked out of the room leaving Quinn stood there. She didn't have the heart to tell him that he couldn't go because then he would start asking all kinds of questions that she wasn't ready to deal with.

Having them in the same room together would not be a good thing, she knew that it would be a struggle as it was attending that party altogether but now that Matt was going she knew that it was going to be her worst nightmare, especially with all the prying eyes she knew would be on her throughout the evening.

She wasn't looking forward to it at all.