Blur, Part 01 – Dreaming of Earth.
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Chapter 03: Two Sides.
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'That is awfully indecent' Was the first thing that came from Thorin when he saw what Hermione was wearing. It was a modest piece, but to Thorin's old man sensibilities, the twentieth's century's fashion was simply scandalous in his world.
"Lucy!" Hermione gathered her smaller friend in her arms and hugged. Thorin shifted uncomfortably in the back of Lucy's mind, but she has learned to ignore his contrary thoughts for now. Sometimes, their minds blurred together, but most times she could make sense of what came from her, and what was his. "You've grown thinner" Her friend frowned, looking down at Lucy.
"And you are starting to sound like Mrs. Weasley" The raven haired witch teased, hiding her uneasy at being told she lost weight. 'I'm not skipping any meals' She reasoned to Thorin when he sent a disapproving wave. 'Lack of proper sleep weakens one's mind as much as it weakens one's body' He nagged. "Come on in" She spoke out loud, opening the door wider so Hermione could come in.
Her friend whirled around, taking in all the difference in décor that Lucy been indulging in after moving to this house. "I do not sound like Moly" Hermione denied firmly. "I just worry about you living here, all alone"
'And that's why she sounds like Mrs. Weasley' The thought came and went to her tenant and she received back what his superior years of living produced. Friends and family will worry about you regardless of where you are. And Lucy agreed, suddenly feeling thankful for Hermione's worry.
Having a twice centenary Dwarrow living in her head was proving slightly useful, if only he kept sending her intelligent thoughts. 'I do not appreciate that' he snarked, halfheartedly.
"I know you do, but I am completely fine" A lie. She was suffering from PTSD, survivors' guilt and she had a new voice in her head. 'Maybe I shouldn't burden her with you…' Thorin's anger was palpable. 'I appreciate that even less. Talk to your friend, Lucy, tell her about me and ask her how to send me back'
But… 'Do it' And all the reasons why she should do it came crashing down on her from Thorin's massive self. He had to return to his world (Arda – Middle Earth – he had duties, he was a K-) Well… he had family there who needed him (His sister Dís and his nephews Fíli and Kíli) and Lucy was downed by the guilt she suddenly felt at the brush of selfishness she had earlier.
It wouldn't be too bad having Thorin in her head – he kept the sad thoughts at bay, he distracted her, he was there. Hers. 'Silly child' He was not hers, he belonged to his people and to his world. 'Alright, I'm sorry' But he didn't blame her. A solitary mind will crave company or comfort and he was both. He also felt the same.
But his duties were not done yet.
"Um… Actually… I might have a slight problem" Lucy sighed, meeting Hermione's eyes when her bushy haired friend turned.
"What is it Lu… you know you can trust me" The other girl hedged. Thorin was urging Lucy, and in the end she gave in.
"I… I have a voice in my head" And before Hermione could sputter a startled 'what?!', Lucy hurried to explain better. "It isn't like Voldemort at all! At first I thought it was, you know how bullocks I am at protecting my mind. But then I got to know Thorin better and he isn't so bad"
…
'That was convincing' Amusement, exasperation.
'Hush!' Lucy shoved him mentally, but that alien sense of amusement leaked until her lips turned up in a smirk that wasn't her own.
"What?! Lucy! That is serious!" Hermione was up and up Lucy's face, peering into startled green eyes and checking upon her friend with her wand (Bellatrix's wand – Hermione broke my wand so she gave me hers and won Bellatrix Black's wand in a duel) The memories washed over to Thorin, and beside the almost nervous feeling he got when magic was touched, he gave no answer, too engrossed in Hermione's reaction to pay Lucy any more attention.
A slip of hysteria clouded on Lucy's mind. She knew it was serious. That's why she's confiding in her friend. 'I knew she'd flip! We would have been better researching on our own!'
"Hermione! I know! That's why I need your help, I can't be sent Saint Mungus, how do we know Thorin won't simply be expelled and disappear?" A shudder. He didn't fancy disappearing.
"This is a voice in your head we're talking about… I knew we should have kept a closer eye on you! Oh Lucy, hearing voices is never a good thing! Have you forgotten already?" Hermione was now pacing. 'Calm your friend down' Thorin advised. 'She will be of no use worked up like that' And that's how things were like for him. Business. Pure and simple business. Lucy tried to soak up his impersonality to the situation, and only managed a little.
"And you think I didn't panic enough this morning? I thought I was going mental! I feared another thing had gotten hold in my mind and I feared Voldemort all over again!" Thorin's guilt was a heavy thing. She now understood this was of no will of his, yet it didn't make her less bitter. "But This time is different. How did Thorin explain it…? Oh yes, Two minds working harmonically to achieve the same thought, in the same body" Offense 'I was not that clumsy'. "I need your help Mione… you're the only one I can count on"
Her friend finished pacing and now sat down on one of the arm chairs in the sitting room with a large breath. "What do you mean?" And it was clear from the turbulence on Hermione's face, that she was still fighting against her fear for her friend. "Two minds in the same body?"
"Oh… like a sounding board. I think and Thorin receives the thought as if it was his own, and I have his thoughts as well, we think different things, at the same time, and they become the same thing… I get the impression that he thought he was in his own body and thought there was nothing wrong, until I looked at the mirror and he saw me reflected in there" 'Clever' 'Don't judge, I'm not that articulate as you' Sarcasm.
"Literally, two minds? Lucy… you suffered a heavily traumatizing experience. Sometimes, the mind fractures to protect itself, maybe you created this Thorin persona to protect yourself from the pain – but that is not an answer, you have to face what has happened and move forward" Hermione's words evoked a deep sense of outraged frustration from both Thorin and Lucy.
'She is practical, she is trying to look at the situation through logical eyes, she is only trying to help us' Her tenant thought, mingling his confusing feelings on Hermione's outburst with her own. "We understand why you think so-" 'Wrong thing to say' A wince, anxiety.
Her friend's face reddened. "We? Really Lucy? I have half a mind to drag you to the hospital this instant! We!"
"Look, Hermione! I know I'm not schizophrenic (a mind condition that makes it fragile…). Thorin is real, and he is stuck in my head, it is not my fault we're stuck together" Lucy shook her head. Thorin's part of her was chiding the way she delivered the news to her friend, but she was getting mighty good at ignoring those exotic feelings. Then an idea struck, and Lucy threw it right away at Hermione. "Just try the Presence Revealing Charm" (An old spell used to have certainty that a house was haunted).
The bushy haired witch twitched, but she took out her wand and was casting in a half breath. "Animus Revelio!" And just like Lucy hoped it would happen, instead of only two lights, as Hermione hoped, above the witch's wand lit three little lights, revealing the presence of three different souls in the range of the spell. "Oh…"
"Yes, oh…" Lucy mumbled snappishly. Thorin was silent, but she could feel the radiated smugness – he was real, thank you. "Can you accept that Thorin is not a figment of my imagination?" 'You are not that creative' He needled, and the thought came as if it was hers but she knew better now. 'I know' she sent back, a tad irked.
Oblivious to the contemplative battle going on inside Lucy's mind, Hermione collected her wits. "For now" her friend spoke shakily. "I still want more proof" She hurried to add when Lucy smiled victoriously. The smile fell. "Why don't you tell me more about Thorin? How did he end inside of you?"
'How did you end inside of me?' Lucy questioned. A veil of shame covered those trails of thought but Lucy had to dig deeper. Thorin could be awfully stubborn but she was more. 'Thorin' She poked the niche he occupied in her mind, and out came flowing a string of memories not hers.
She closed her eyes to appreciate the experience, seeing behind her lids the corridor of lights, stretching far and ending on an island made of pure starlight (Valinor – the Gardens of Irmo, Lord of Dreams) and she felt as he did streaking through this pathway. She couldn't help the greedy need to have more than what was offered – had she been in Thorin's place, she'd have done the same thing.
"He was dreaming, and he followed a path made of stars until he got lost and woke up in me" Lucy answered Hermione's query. "He doesn't seem to be from this world as well, he comes from a place called Arda, or Middle Earth" 'I do not like the glint in your friend's eyes' came Thorin's obvious thought. And for the account, neither did Lucy.
A day.
Two days.
Three days.
Four days spent in seamless stark contact with each other and much about them bled to the other without neither realizing or grieving over the fact – they were already very similar, and as the more experienced of the two, Thorin came to love this little being that embraced (however reluctant) his presence.
Lucia Polaria Potter was not only a witch and savior of the Wizarding World. She wasn't just a fractured, lonely little girl anymore, she was also part of Thorin – a nearly two centuries old exiled Dwarrow King.
It took a lot out of Thorin to keep Lucy's mind from his own. Her younger self was fragile and vulnerable, and he still had her painful memories of what having one's mind invaded aggressively felt like – not pleasant – so he didn't want Lucy to lose her sense of self and exist as him.
'I'm not going to disappear' She was stronger than that. And he knew that. If only because he was also like that and they were quite similar already.
'We could have been one and the same' He returned 'For I comprehend your strength as if it is my own'
It begged the question of. 'Why did you came to me? Out of everyone in this world, you came to me'
By then, he was used to living as a female and could push that part of acquaintanceship to the side. 'I believe for the reasons we stated before. We are so very alike that we could have been the same being in reverse circumstances' had she been a Dwarrow and had he been a witch.
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Chapter 03 End
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