Chapter 4 - Catch - 22
" Sarah. Are you alright in there? " The sound of Jacks voice startled her.
Sarah? Oh, right... Sarah. Wiping her face and nose with the towel, she stood up and took another glance in the mirror. Her face was blotchy, but it'd have to do. She splashed a handful of cool water on it and dabbed it dry.
Gazing into the mirror she raised a corner of her mouth and shrugged, " I guess I look like a Sarah. "
She drew a long, deep breath and let it out with a puffy sigh. She knew she would walk out of the solitude of this quiet room to face more intimidation and probing. She would give them answers to questions she wasn't fully certain of herself. It was a loosing game. If she gave them no answers, she looked guilty of something. If she gave them answers, she couldn't prove she was telling the truth anyway, so she would still appear to be lying.
A bit of a catch 22.
Jack's knuckles were inches from the door when she came out. He scanned her as he moved out of the way.
" Thought maybe.. " He said. She looked up at him and he cut himself off in mid - sentence. " I see you went ahead and got that wound wet anyway. Well, we'll need to redress it. "
" I'm sorry. " She answered, her eyes to her feet.
He said nothing as he began to lead her back. Voices from ahead interrupted her thoughts. She recognized Locke's voice but the other was different. Being that they were speaking low, neither one was clear, although the mystery voice evoked a strange sense of anxiety. Jack slowed their pace and it became clear that he was stalling. She scrunched her face pondering the thought. It was a weird paradox. They were suspicious of her, but yet they were obviously hiding something. He must have sensed her curiosity as he prodded her forward. There was a creaking noise and the faint slam of a door. It startled her a bit.
" Must have been Locke. " he said.
He led her to the booth. There was a light odor of some kind of cleaning solution. Jack pulled out supplies for a redressing from the cabinet a few feet away.
" It's healing good. " he said. She felt a tugging as he re fixed a dressing to the back of her head. " Give it a week and we'll get those stitches out of there. "
She smiled halfheartedly, gazing once more at her new prison and feeling the heaviness of a dark gloom over her head. She couldn't help wondering what would happen to her. What their plans were for her.
Her gaze trailed off to the floor , although it was clean now, she envisioned the pink glob of vomit. Sayid looked pretty angry. It would have been laughable if the situation were not so grim. There he was with vomit dripping from his hands and big globs of it all over his face. His expression was unforgettable.
She feared retribution. He, if anyone would certainly be more than happy to make her feel, shall we say - 'uncomfortable.'
" Sayid's gonna be angry. " The words slipped out of her mouth. She really did not mean to say it aloud, but it was getting pretty difficult to keep her thoughts to herself.
" Probably. " Finishing up, Jack placed the first aid supplies back in the cabinet. When he turned around, she noticed a softer expression on his face. " It wasn't your fault. "
She blinked back a few tears. Finally a glimmer of kindness. This place, whatever it was did not carry much forgiveness or understanding, it seemed. She took the piece of kindness and held onto it.
Jack situated himself in the chair as before. There was an uncomfortable silence. She eyed the door across the way. He didn't glance back this time.
His eyes were steady as he looked on her. He seemed to be figuring her out the way one would put together a puzzle. She gazed on his scruffy face, and found a familiarity there. Something that she could not explain. Could she trust him ?
" Can I ask a question? " The words were out faster than she could regret saying them.
Tilting his head, he answered " Okay. "
She folded her arms in her lap and leaned on them. " What are you gonna to do with me ? "
He passed a hand over his head and then held it at the nape of his neck. "Well, ah ... that's a fair question. "
His indirectness left her even more unsettled. He looked as perplexed as she was. He did not know and that scared her even more. She leaned back in her seat, with her hands in her lap, glanced down at them and then spoke.
" You believe I'm one of ... them ... An ... other ? "
There was an almost pitiful quietness in her voice as she nervously toyed with her hands. She continued timidly.
" If I were one of them …. I would lie. I guess. "
His expression was difficult to read. He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, watching her. There was that insect look again.
She noted his expression with disappointment and went on.
" But ... if I'm not...it doesn't matter, I couldn't prove it. How could I ? What could I possibly do or say ? So, I may as well be one of them. Because if I'm not, you'll still believe that I am. "
Exasperated, she propped an elbow on the back of the seat and rested her head there, wondering why she couldn't have just remained quiet and not said anything at all. She knew that she appeared more suspicious with nearly every word.
" IF ? " He spoke up.
She raised her eyes to his. " Sorry ? "
He leaned forwards, one arm resting along the edge of the table, gazing directly into her eyes.
" You keep saying ' IF I'm not one of them ' almost as if you don't know yourself. " He tilted his head as though he were catching her in her own words.
" Wouldn't you know ... ' IF ' you were. "
She closed her eyes and dropped her head. Biting her bottom lip, she struggled to look up at him. Her eyes brimmed with emotion, she blinked trying to hold it back. What could she say ?
" I'm afraid. " she spoke in all but a whisper, swiping her cheek with her fingers. " And I don't know what I'm supposed to say. How to answer. "
" Just the truth. " He replied. The truth. She sighed. How could she tell him something she didn't know. It was too late anyway. She had already blurted out her version.
" Look, why don't we try establishing a little trust here? " He offered. " There's always someone around, so you won't be alone. As long as you cooperate, you can stay in here, go where you want . You can go to the bathroom, take a shower without being escorted. But you stay in this area, nowhere else. When one of us asks you to do something, cooperate. You do that, and then we'll see where we go from there. Does that sound fair to you? "
She nodded like a child being reprimanded by a parent.
" There's one more thing "
She raised her eyes.
" I need to know you and your mothers last names. "
It seemed somewhat easier now. " Ford. Helen and Sarah Elizabeth Ford. " She had given him middle names as well. More than what he asked for.
" Well now! " A tall man with sandy hair strode in. " You do attract the pretty young thangs, Doc. Any chance you'd ever be willin to share? Maybe we could play a little cards. Make a wager? "
There was a crooked smile on his face, with deep set dimples on either side of his mouth. Ruddy complexion, hair in his face. He carried himself a bit in caveman style. Expressive blue eyes that twinkled when he spoke.
He shot an interested glance her way. " Howdy Stripy. Gotta name? "
She glanced back and blinked …this was ... different.
" Sawyer " Jack said matter of factly. " Did you want something ? "
Whoever this new guy was, he clearly annoyed Jack and appeared to enjoy it as well. " Oh hell yea, I want everything. Thought' cha knew. "
Jack pressed his lips together, put his hand squarely on Sawyers shoulder and pushed him over to the entrance.
" Hey, hands off Quasimodo. " Sawyer said as he threw his hands in the air.
The impatience in Jacks voice grew.
" Look, do you need something? Is there a reason you're here, or did you just need to get your daily pain in the ass fix ? "
" Yea I got a reason. " He cut his eyes over to the booth.
" Well..? "
He gave an irritated snort. " Freckles needs ya. That guy, the one with the big ass mole, he stepped on somethin. "
Jack glanced over his shoulder towards Sarah. Sawyer continued his attempt at persuasion in a near desperate tone.
" She's just gonna send me back or come herself. Even if we're on the blacklist. "
Jack shook his head. " The what? " He walked a few feet and called for Locke.
Sawyer smiled crookedly and answered.
" I can stay an' watch the girl for ya, if that's what'cha need. "
Jack completely ignored him.
" Hey Locke !" he shouted. Locke appeared from another area of the hatch. Jack filled him in on where he would be and instructed him to keep an eye on Sarah. Locke nodded and then glanced at her unassumingly. He made his way to get a bottle of water while Jack and Sawyer turned away to leave. Sarah watched them listening to their voices trailing off.
" I coulda done it. " Sawyer insisted.
Then Jacks irritated tone followed as he observed. "That's really why you came, isn't it? You're a true hero. "
Sawyers cynical tone was unmistakable. " Oh, now . I couldn't take your place, Doc. "