I don't own any of Nobuhiro Watsuki's characters, I just copied them into my imagination's hard drive.
"Kenshin?"
Everything was bathed in darkness. It wasn't morning yet but the air was lukewarm. It would have been impossible for Kaoru to find someone sitting against the wall by her bedroom door in the midst of sleep; breathing low and deeply, the redhead unknowingly revealed himself.
She stepped closer and called him in the lowest voice she could. I don't want to wake him up, she thought, but he isn't comfortable like this either...
"Kenshin...?", Kaoru called again, aiming for a voice tone that would quietly wake him up.
Muri da yo. She slightly gritted her teeth in disappointment. Trapped in indecision, she began observing the rurouni in his deep sleep. His quietness was surreal comparing to all she'd witnessed from him. She stayed by his side many times as he recovered from his wounds, watching him inhale and exhale in a profound but unsteady rhythm. She worried he wouldn't be safe, she feared he never would. At that moment though, he seemed to be truly resting.
His body remained still, sitting against the shoji wall as if he'd fallen asleep as he waited. Her chest warmed up at the thought that he might have intended to see her. Kaoru virtually extended one hand towards the sleeping rurouni but decided to hold it back. She didn't wish to disrupt his current state of mind. Instead, she quietly sat by his side while facing the unmeasurable ceiling.
I wish I could see into your dreams, Kenshin. It is probably a place only you can go to... but if I could just take a look, even for a second, perhaps I would be able to understand. I could see you better, and meet whichever fears you still hold. But that should mean you get to see mine, too...
She took a deep breath.
Watching you sleep like that, you must be having a wonderful dream. Ne Kenshin?
...
Dawn slowly came. Before she noticed, the rurouni's contour had appeared from the dark. A human body of flesh and bone that was no longer exposed to the tough struggle of the country's commotions. Kenshin had lived, for a long time, carrying a burden that he only acquired by sacrificing his own happiness. No; his happiness naturally derived from a bigger matter than himself. And because of that, most people saw him as a vague, dreadful figure, moving swiftly and vigorously like a dragon.
No matter how much she wished to extend that moment, dreams were dreams, and reality required things like working, eating and everything else to be done. She cleaned her throat before she voiced, now louder.
"Kenshin, what are you doing here?"
His breathing rhythm changed and he suddenly opened his eyes. It took a frail second for him to realize where he was.
Kaoru secretly giggled. For some silly reason she felt amused with his timid embarrassment.
"S-sessha...", he mumbled nervously, standing up in a flash. "G-gomen nasai, Kaoru-dono"
"I didn't know you were a sleepwalker", she joked. Kenshin's expression turned white as Kaoru directed her deep blue eyes towards him. "Daijoubu ka"
"H-hai." The rurouni smiled reassuringly. "Daijoubu."
Kaoru smiled back. If he only knew how long she stood there before he finally opened his eyes and regained consciousness...
They didn't take their eyes off each other for a moment.
"Were you... dreaming?"
"Aa. I realized that just now."
He seemed partly relieved, yet he wore that usual, quiet smile that effectively comforted Kaoru. It didn't remove, though, the slight awkwardness from this early and unexpected encounter between them.
She bowed and turned around, ready to walk away and get things done before leaving for work, trying to get through the incident and move on.
"Kaoru-dono?", Kenshin unexpectedly called.
Kaoru turned around and faced him expectantly.
"Nani?"
"Sumanai. I've taken your time over my reckless sleepwalking..."
"Nandemonai", she laughed, waving in a nervous manner.
"Is something wrong?", he asked, noticing the sudden change in her behavior.
"Iie! Daijoubu!" She still laughed, but now losing color. "You shouldn't worry. Everything is just fine!"
"Shouldn't I worry about you, Kaoru-dono?"
A stunning silence took place. She didn't expect it, and wouldn't ever. She brought her hands to her heart. Looking at him, she was sure he was serious, maybe too serious, even.
"Arigatou ne, Kenshin. Demo, there is no need to worry in the first place. I just had a strange dream, but I can deal with it. Please, don't worry."
He seemed pensive and doubtful. His intuition rarely failed, and he surely knew her better, but saying the truth was only up to her. She probably had her reasons.
...
Kaoru opened her eyes, and there it was. Her life as she knew it, and she'd just been thrown back into it. Lifting from the futon, she covered her face with her hands, sobbing and weeping. She felt so sure of that special warmth beside her and his low, comforting half-sleeping whispers. She wanted to cry so desperately. Why did she have to wake up to this harsher, lonelier bed that she hadn't wished for?
She moved her pillow, and felt the wetness where her eyes laid before. All of this for a reckless dream.
Kenshin...
A helpless and emotive Kaoru recalled the moment when Kenshin embraced her tightly as she told him about her dream, or delusion, in better terms. Did she create such vivid images of an nonexistent past only to pretend it was her present for a little while? She was either masochist or a martyr, and neither made her happy. There was no other way but to bluntly admit it was over. That moment she thought to be real had completely lost its sense in this dimension, but it was also true she felt strangely relieved. That realistic experience sharing a futon with Kenshin had been preceded by something else. In that precise moment, she recalled it.
The beautiful, endless amber glow similar to that of an everlasting sunset. A wondrous scenery of still life.
He revealed something very important to me, she thought as she tried to remember. Was it only a product of my imagination? Despite the odd feeling that time had stopped, it felt incredibly real... She sobbed again, trying to digest every complicated feeling messing around in her head.
Before she knew, silence had been cut by the echoing sound of gentle footsteps. Suddenly alarmed, Kaoru quickly brushed her wrists on her drying tears, turned around, and pretended to be asleep for some reason her mind seemed to find fit. The next few seconds seemed to last an eternity. Kaoru focused attentively, looking or waiting for any clue of what was happening, if something had really happened at all, but nothing else was heard that time, and she remained still.
It crossed her mind that it could be Kenshin. Iie, he wouldn't. No way he would come here. Doesn't seem like him, it's too weird... but, what if it's actually him? Should I do something? Should I stay here and just pretend I heard nothing? Maybe I should just wait a while longer. It's probably my imagination. That, or I'm hallucinating. At least mixing dreams with reality would make much more sense if I were. Kami-sama, am I that desperate?
Silence lasted for a long while. If it had been Kenshin she heard, it was time to assume she'd been left alone again. Unable to go back to sleep, she inadvertently, thoroughly examined the remnants of her dream, ashamed for how daring her inner self had been. It was extremely difficult for her to find a practical solution to this dilemma. Whatever he told her in that dream only confused her more, probably because this was all more related to herself than to Kenshin.
She wanted to figure herself out. This strange pain seemed to be forcing her into some sort of active change. She knew better there was something she wanted to break, for this life wasn't to be a maze without an end. There was a choice whether or not to find happiness through it, and Kenshin had promised her, not through words but gestures and actions, that there was definitely a way; it just wasn't easy.
...
"Yume?", he blinked.
"H-hai."
"Sessha also had... Sessha is thinking that... perhaps... it would be better if we discussed it together."
He kept staring at her, waiting for some sort of clue on whether it was a yes, no or even maybe. Just something at all would do the trick, but she couldn't even say a word, and she remained puzzled in her daze.
"...G-gomen nasai, Kaoru-dono. Please forget what I've just said."
She trembled, hesitating, at a loss as to how to respond.
"Kenshin, I..."
"Ano... I will go and prepare your bath now, please don't mind this."
Her nerves escalated. It definitely didn't seem like Kenshin, but it didn't really matter. She could feel her heart beating faster, her lungs nearly stopping to breathe for her sake, her entire body acting against her timid will to give him an answer.
"I..."
"Kaoru-dono, you don't have to say anything, onegai shim—"
"Daijoubu, Kenshin. I am... actually happy that you said that."
His expression froze in apathetic surprise.
"H-hontou... desu ka"
"Hontou ni hontou", she smiled gracefully. Looking straight into the rurouni's eyes she knew he was happy too.
"Ano... I will be late if I don't hurry now, demo Kenshin, when I get back from work today, I... I'd like to go with you somewhere, if that's fine with you, of course."
Kenshin nodded.
"For any special reason, Kaoru-dono? I sincerely hope I haven't forgotten anything important..."
"Betsu ni", she sort of lied, "But I can promise you'll understand then."
"No need to promise, Kaoru-dono. I'm looking forward to it, that I am."
A bigger smile sprouted from her lips. Always so humble...
"Arigatou, Kenshin. I... really appreciate it".
Although they physically set apart after that, they left a remnant feeling of something left unsaid, a soft thread of continuity through the still poorly lightened indoor atmosphere. Kaoru's remembrance of her amber dream began fading, losing pieces of itself along the day. There was much of a mystery still attached to it, but a sense of courage grew inside her after Kenshin talked to her. Even if it was small, there was an undeniable attitude coming from him. Something they've always kept so personal such as their dreams had been agreed to be shared.
I feel that it's promising, I feel so many things, she thought as she dipped her naked body into the hot steaming bath water. Subarashii...
...
Yahiko was coming that day to give lessons in the afternoon. When Kaoru taught in farther dojos, the boy replaced her while having Kenshin oversee how he was doing. Before Sanosuke left Tokyo, he'd told Yahiko to take his place so that he could leave Kaoru and Kenshin some alone time. At first he resisted, finding this and that excuse in order to avoid an abrupt change in the lifestyle he'd become accustomed to. But Kaoru would never send him out, and he gradually came to realize that having a dose of independence wouldn't hurt, quite on the contrary.
So, on the first week after Sano left, Yahiko visited daily, whether he was going to give lessons or not. His training was at a stable point, so all Kaoru demanded from him was to keep practicing, and come to meet her every once in a while. She only went out a couple of days per week, so there wasn't much need to replace her anyway. But as weeks turned into months that had passed, the dojo got more and more popular especially due to Yahiko's ultimate reputation as the strongest swordsman in Tokyo. Replacing Kaoru in the dojo had become normal for him, but evenings had definitely gotten quieter.
That day, before starting the very first lesson, Yahiko noticed a subtle change in Kenshin's mood; the rurouni was particularly observant and absent-minded. He was sure of it after staring at him for a while. Having seen Kaoru leaving in the morning, he also found her exceedingly genki comparing to the last few days. He did have trouble, much like anybody, figuring out Kaoru's mood sources, but he could see there was something going on, and he expected that this would happen sooner or later.
Flying from one corner of the dojo to the other, Yahiko was consistently followed by the students as they embraced their shinai with plain enthusiasm and complete absence of violence. It was a healthier, happier and promising version of what Kenshin and most of his age had apprehended as kenjutsu. Luckily, things were going as Kaoru wished for. Kenshin cherished these changes from the bottom of his heart, adding peace to it and allowing him to cope better with all that's happened.
Hours passed in front of his eyes. Sometimes he'd recall Kaoru saying I can promise you'll understand then, and the clear voice in his head made him expect Kaoru's return, as much as he expected her in a general sense. A mix of feelings emerged as part of the suggestions embed in his dreams. He didn't want to lose his home, he didn't want to make Kaoru feel miserable, and now that there was no war for him to handle, he needed to make peace with the last part of himself. The part of him that subconsciously learned from Tomoe that dreadful fate he'd blamed himself over so many years, causing his vow not to kill. He might have been lying to himself until then, living by the word that love was an inevitable tragedy, and a certain avoidance could prevent the greater damage, but at least now he could see it clearly. He wouldn't allow himself to keep lying.
...
Yahiko and Kenshin saw the students off at the gate when the lesson was over. It was about time for Kaoru to come back, but apparently she was late.
"Ne, Kenshin. How was it?"
"You seem to be doing a great job, that you are, Yahiko. The students seem to be enjoying themselves, too."
The boy shyly scratched his nape and thanked him for the appreciation.
"Eto... I've been wanting to tell you something since we got back from that island. I totally get it if it's not the right time."
"Douzo, douzo", Kenshin uttered while walking towards the porch, where he brought some fresh green tea for serving.
"You know, Kenshin..." Yahiko hesitated, "Well, I just wanted to say that everyone, even Sanosuke, who isn't here right now, and Megumi, Misao, Aoshi... We're so glad that you can start living a normal life now."
"It wouldn't be possible if I didn't have all of you", Kenshin admitted. "Sessha is going to care for a better future now."
"I thought that was your thing already", the boy joked.
Kenshin smiled, "One can always do better, that he does."
"So", Yahiko hinted, "Have you... Ano... kind of, settled things... with Kaoru?"
Kenshin was stunned for a moment, then smiled back at Yahiko.
"Is there anything you'd want to know specifically?"
"Betsu ni!... E-eto ne, Kenshin. I'm going to the Akabeko, I'm supposed to give them a little help tonight", he spoke as he walked towards his room to change.
"Is that the truth, or...", Kenshin grinned.
Yahiko nervously laughed. "Sou, sou, just tell that to Kaoru, will ya?"
Kenshin easily read Yahiko, but they sort of mutually and silently agreed not to discuss any details. Sano was much more of a talker than he was, but fortunately he still had the teachings from his Master concerning the odd world of women. He did marry Tomoe, even though he couldn't judge it himself, he knew it wouldn't come in handy for a time like this. At the time they were hiding, at every moment there could be a chance that somebody got badly hurt or even killed. He would be responsible if something happened, he knew it, and he failed. Times were hard, and war brought nightmares into regular life. But now, the greater demons were countered, Enishi finally had Tomoe's diary, and there was no need to hide or pretend with Kaoru. She'd always been that subtle reminder of what happiness could be. It was already late for him to care for that warmth, but she was still there. It wasn't too late.
...
"Shimatta, I am so late!", Kaoru talked to herself as she ran as fast as she could towards the dojo, wondering if there was still time.
Yahiko had already left, and Kenshin was sitting by the porch, waiting for her to come back. He wondered if they'd still go. The sun was almost setting, and tonight would be slightly colder, for a strong wind had raised for the last few hours. The cold hair rushed by his face and shook his hair. It was suddenly a great feeling to be alive. He wasn't the only creature there, for tiny birds announced their presence by singing their tuneful and unpredictable song. The earth was alive. It felt wonderful. He put everything aside for a while only to embrace that unique feeling of awareness.
"Tadaima!", Kaoru yelled. She came through the gate at great speed, but stopped near Kenshin to regain her breath.
"Okaeri nasai", he said, getting up. "Kaoru-dono, you look exhausted."
"That's because I've ran for my life to get here on time, you baka."
Kenshin smiled apologetically. "Should we go now?"
"Chigau!", she shouted, indignant. "I can't possibly go like this! But I'll be fast! Like thunder!"
"K-Kaoru-dono... still wants to..."
She took off her sandals and quickly entered the dojo, yelling from the inside. "Canyouwarmupthebathquicklyforme, Kenshin?"
He stared at her while she ran everywhere to get her things.
"ONEGAI?!"
"...Hai, hai!", he exclaimed, clumsily hurrying to the boiler in order to warm up the water.
As she took her bath, he waited by the end of the corridor near the exit. Before he noticed, she had gotten dressed and appeared right in front of him, wearing a fine violet kimono. She looked great for the little time she took.
"Gomen, Kenshin. Ikou wa yo?"
"H-Hai."
"What about Yahiko? I didn't see him anywhere."
"Aa, that's right. He'll be at the Akabeko."
She quickly grabbed his hand and started running.
"Oro..."
"Don't oro me! If we don't hurry, it will be too late!"
Kaoru secretly blushed as she imagined spending the next few hours alone with Kenshin. Could Yahiko have guessed this situation? Could Kenshin possibly... no way, he wouldn't ask him to leave for... Her embarrassment grew as her imagination evolved. There is NO way he's going to try and... muri, muri, muri, muri, muri! What are you thinking, Kaoru? Demo... he is a man, and he's already 30... Isn't it likely? Should I worry or not? Of course not, Kenshin strikes as the man who would marry before... Uhm... Ano...
Kenshin followed her as fast as he could. "Kaoru-dono, if you tell me where we're going, I can probably run faster while carrying you..."
"Nani?!"
"Eeeto..."
"We're almost there, no need to try weird things, Kenshin no b-baka!"
She really amused him when she was mad, and now she even seemed afraid, ironically because she wouldn't mind having him carry her unless he decided to comment on her weight, and doubtfully, because she would easily knock him down after that. The vivid jasmine aroma of hers reached him as they pursued the mysterious time and place Kaoru reserved for them that evening. They turned the last few corners, avoiding to collide into passers-by. Despite the windy weather, the running view of the pink colored sky was stunning.
"It should begin in a few minutes", she told. "There always seems to be more time left than there really is, so you can't be too careful."
Kenshin looked at her, then away at the horizon. The sun was just about to set. A warm color met everything around them, announcing a hypothetical end of the world accompanied by a feeling of absolute peace.
"This place... Oboeteru?", Kaoru asked him.
Kenshin was stunned at the beauty of the view. Kaoru blushed as she looked down to the water from the bridge they stood in, reflecting their shapes and the warm color of the immense sky.
"Shinpai nai", she quietly said, "It was here that you told me how everybody would walk their own paths, live their own lives... that it's a journey without farewells, a beginning without an..."
"I didn't forget, that I have not. I just didn't remember such a beautiful sunset."
Kenshin heard her voice echoing in his mind from that day, in that place: But I want to stay with you, Kenshin.
"Ureshii." Kaoru smiled and quickly pointed to the horizon. "Mitte, mitte!"
Slowly, the sun hid a little more of itself in each second; various shades of orange and red changed from one another. The wind cleared his bangs from his face and he breathed deeply. Kaoru sighed emotionally. Kenshin slowly moved, leaning against her back, holding her from behind, placing his hands right where she had hers.
"Kenshin." She kept gazing towards the sunset. "Can I... tell you about... that dream I had?"
"Mochiron, Kaoru-dono."
She shivered with unusual sensation of having his body so close.
"S-So", she began, "We were sitting in a room filled with a strange light. It looked exactly like this sunset. As we stare into this beautiful sky, a moment passes, and hue changes from amber to vivid red. Soon it's going to darken until the only light we have left belongs to the moon. Demo, in my dream, the moon never came. Everything stayed the same, like time had stopped, but in fact it hadn't. It was beautiful, an unexplainable pleasure at first sight. But I came to realize that stillness was wrong. Living things aren't meant to remain still."
He listened to her attentively, feeling her heart struggling for courage as it pounded heavily.
"You were paralyzed", she continued, "As if you had lost yourself. Nothing could bring you back. Dakara, nothing really mattered to me anymore... until you finally started talking. Those things you said to me..."
He tightened the grip of their hands. "Doushitanda? Please, Kaoru-dono, tell me."
"It doesn't matter." Kaoru abruptly detached from him and turned to look at him face to face. "You might have appeared before me in dreams, and you seemed real enough for me to believe that... you were..."
She began crying, although she tried hard not to. I don't want him to feel pity for me. "This is my problem. It's about me, not you, Kenshin. After all that's happened, I'm still no better than a small child. I'm really selfish."
He placed one hand at each side of Kaoru and shook her, making her look straight in his eyes for a moment.
"Kaoru-dono, I only see that you are human..." Kaoru shivered for a second. "...and so am I, thanks to you."
There was no longer a sunset to contemplate. The moon started to appear high up in the sky, and the rest of the sun soaked the town in a progressively darker color. Kaoru's face soaked in tears. It was going to be too cold within a while. The minute was over.
"Stillness can be dangerous, perhaps even comparable to death. I was also sitting in a room with someone who looked exactly like you. She told me she was battousai's wife."
Kaoru's eyes flashed open.
"In the end, when I thought I had woken up, I didn't realize that in fact I was still dreaming. I looked everywhere for you, but nobody knew where you had gone to. I carried myself through the carcass of my home, our home. For months, I traveled with the single purpose of seeing you again. I wanted, needed to understand what caused you to leave without a word. I blamed myself for a dozen different reasons. I only got to finally see you again when you woke me up at your bedroom door."
Kaoru contemplated him, speechless, as he told her all these things she could have never guessed, gradually filling her heart with a strange mixture of sadness and joy.
"When Enishi took you, I didn't do good. I was left destroyed. We've been together for a while now, Kaoru-dono. You certainly know there are some things I'd rather not talk about. But if I'm not truthful to you, at least, what good will that do? You see, I know I'm the reason why your face is covered in tears right now. I should only be allowed to make you smile."
"Iie! It's not your..."
"Kaoru-dono", he pleaded. "Whatever we do, everything changes. The once beautiful sunset is turning into complete darkness. Stillness is a mere delusion. I'm guilty for trusting it and letting it deceive me. I thought I would keep you safe as long as I kept a distance, but all I did was make you feel lonely..."
"I'm not lonely, Kenshin." She tenderly gazed into his violet eyes. "I'm good as long as you're with me."
He blinked, suddenly captured by her sight.
"Although last night", she ventured, "I did feel a bit lonely."
There, she said it. The last bit of courage she needed. "If you're guilty of trusting stillness, then so am I. We can accept it together, and it will all be over."
The wind came rushing through.
"The light's fading away, we should go back", she advised.
Kenshin noticed her body trembling slightly. Her bottom lip wouldn't stop moving even when she was done talking.
"If you're cold, I could hold you for a while."
Kaoru froze for seconds, unwilling to believe it was true. Even if this was another dream, who cared? At least this time she knew exactly what she wanted to say.
"One last moment of stillness?"
He softly cleaned the tears from her happy face. She leaned closer, suspended by her shyness. When she noticed, he had already embraced her in a sudden but careful movement, conveying all tenderness in one gesture. She could swear she heard him whispering her name as he tucked her in his chest. She would probably doze off in one second, so she allowed the long sleeves of his gi to cover her kimono and retain their heat, placing her hands over his chest.
You don't need to tell me you love me, she thought, This is more than enough.
...
Darkness had installed in Tokyo, and another day was coming to an end. The wind had fragmented into a soft breeze which echoed in the woods. Kaoru tried not to feel scared, but she did have a hard time with strange noises during the night since she was only a child.
They had quietly dined and were sitting by the porch drinking tea. Kaoru didn't usually notice the garden, which was Kenshin's new hobby since they returned from Enishi's island.
"Ee, have you done all the gardening by yourself, Kenshin?"
"Hai", he smiled, "I don't mind doing it, it is actually very relaxing, that it is."
He secretly looked at her. It seemed she was trying not to look timid, which she visibly felt, but she did look beautiful though, in a perfect shape, happier than he probably ever saw her. Then he looked away, trying to find an explanation to this peace through the shining stars.
"Kenshin, can I ask you something?"
"Mochiron", he readily answered.
"Ano... do you think...", she blushed intensely, "...that I could be a good housewife?"
"You already are." He turned to her and smiled.
"I should be honest with you, ne Kenshin?"
Drinking his tea, Kenshin looked up to the moonlight. "Less is forbidden."
"Ano... I really want to be better... for you", she confessed.
"Kaoru-dono, I would rather keep you from worrying over such things."
She looked slightly upset. "Are you going to keep calling me Kaoru-dono forever, Kenshin?"
"Oro..."
"You don't always say it like that, do you?"
"Well, if you'd rather-"
If she gave it some thought, it's not that she didn't like it. It was part of his defining personality. But thinking that he always treated her with such politeness would also be a barrier for them, and they could never break the distance imposed by the honorific.
"Ii yo. But you would have to promise me that it won't get in our way."
"How would that be possible?"
"Well, you know... because... Ja, nevermind! What was I saying... Eeto..."
He was genuinely enjoying this chit-chat. Kaoru resisted, but after a while she let the mood drive the conversation. Kenshin truly made an effort to make her feel comfortable after everything they've said to each other.
"To be honest, I think something would be terribly missing if I just called you Kaoru."
"How so?!", she got up, maddened, "Kamiya Kaoru was the solely name my mother gave me." She hesitated as she tried to recall who named her, really. "Or was it my father? I remember he specifically said it was..."
"When I was born, my parents gave me a name. Shinta, it was. Which name would you choose to call me, Kaoru-dono?"
When she met him, she didn't even know his name. It took her a while to learn that the man who suddenly shook her life was actually called Himura Kenshin. Back then, she would simply call him rurouni. She still used that name when she needed to put clear that his past, or the battousai, really had no meaning to her. It wasn't the battousai she'd met, it wasn't that character she'd fallen in love with. And neither was Shinta.
"I'd like to say that I prefer whichever you like. Demo..."
A firefly lightened up right in front of them. Gradually, the outside was completely invaded by the flying green bulbs. Kaoru stood up, gazing into the lights, but truly facing the dark landscape.
"I haven't seen one night like this in a long time."
"Neither, that I have not." When he spoke, she noticed he was already standing by her side.
"Today is full of meaningful moments", she noted. "It's curious how dreams can really alter the big picture."
"Sou da na", he said, bringing one hand to lay Kaoru's shoulder. She drove a hand to rest over his.
"Demo ne, Kenshin. How can we be so sure that we're not living a dream at this very moment?"
"Should I be honest now, too, Kaoru-dono?"
"Less is forbidden, and punished with a hundred house chores!"
"Alright, ano... I know that being here with Kaoru-dono right now is definitely real, that it is."
"Dou?", she curiously asked.
"Kaoru-dono's scent."
"Nani?!", she covered her face, embarrassed, then looked into the rurouni's eyes.
"Should I apologize? I don't want you to feel embarrassed", he kindly asserted. "It is the truth, that it is, though."
Kaoru's face turned as red as a beetroot.
"My... scent?", she blushed heavier just by saying it out loud herself.
"Hai. It's different when you're not real."
"So, you've smelled the battousai's wife, is that what you mean? Or..." She threw him a dangerous look, which transformed into a worried, embarrassed expression.
"Sessha didn't have much of a choice"
"Men are all the same", she cried.
"Ano", he stuttered, "Nothing happened, Kaoru-dono, you may rest assured. I even insisted in making sure it wasn't the real Kaoru-dono."
"So, what would have happened if it was the real me...?"
"Uhn... Sessha... would rather cancel those thoughts and move on, if you don't mind."
"I smell a hundred house chores..."
"Oro..."
"I do smell them, because when I'm dreaming, I'm pretty sure they smell differently..."
"Well then, I smell jasmine."
She blinked twice in surprise. Is that what he thinks I smell like, she thought. It almost sounded like a confession, something he kept for himself for long before finally coming out.
"I don't know what to answer to that." She was sincere but looked enticed at the same time. Maybe he shouldn't have been so straight-forward about it.
"Sessha didn't mean to startle you, Kaoru-dono."
"You didn't startle me, baka", she pinched his small nose. "I'm a grown woman, I can deal with that. Demo saa, I'm... how am I supposed to say it... Ano..."
Kenshin could figure the missing words by himself. Just looking in Kaoru's troubled face made things clear enough for him. "Forget about it", he said, trying to make things easier for her. "Nakute mou ii."
"Demo..."
"Shinpai ja nai, onegai, Kaoru-dono."
"I'm afraid, Kenshin."
"You shouldn't, there's no reason to..."
She quickly interrupted, "I want to be honest with you."
"That's more than enough for me", he smiled.
"Could you sleep with me tonight?"
Oh, kami-sama. Forgive this helpless girl, Kaoru desperately thought, waiting for Kenshin to respond.
"Oro... Kaoru-dono..."
"Just sleep next to me. Can you do it?"
The rurouni's heart pounded itself this time, unsure of how he would manage to do so, unsure of what she really meant.
"Gomen, Kenshin... It's totally inappropriate, I'm sorry."
"It is..."
"Wasurete kudasai!"
"Iie. Sessha will do it", he said. "Just tell me how to make you feel comfortable."
Kaoru, incredulous, sensed her blood boiling in a second. They were tied by an invisible line in the darkness only lightened by the fireflies that circled them in a soft motion. As they stared at each other, they could exchange tender, nervous thoughts about their future. They couldn't tell what the other one was thinking, but it didn't even matter. Because the only thing that mattered was that they were thinking about each other.
TO BE CONTINUED
Muzukashii - difficult
Muri - impossible
Da - Desu, equiv. to english 'to be'
Ne - equiv. to "isn't it"
Sessha - humble version of I, "this lowly self"
Gomen nasai, Sumanai - I'm sorry, forgive me
Daijoubu - Are you ok, or simply 'ok'
Ka - used for questions, equiv. to '?'
Hai, Aa - yes
Nani - what
Genki - energetic
Kenjutsu - swordsmanship
Nandemonai, betsu ni - it's nothing
Iie - no
Arigatou - thank you
Demo - but
Kami-sama - God
Yume - dream
Ano, eto - Uhm
Onegai shimasu - please
Hontou desu ka - really?
Hontou ni hontou - really (emphatic)
Subarashii - wonderful
Douzo - go ahead
Shimatta - oh damn
Tadaima - I'm home
Okaeri nasai - Welcome home
Baka - fool
Chigau - wrong
Ikou wa yo - let's go
Oro - Kenshin's favorite interjection
Oboeteru - remember
Shinpai [ja] nai - don't worry
Ureshii - happy
Mitte - look
Mochiron - of course
Dakara - so, hence
Doushitanda - what is it (said by a male)
Ee - interjection meaning surprise
Ii yo - equiv. to 'fine'
Ja - 'well...'
Rurouni - wanderer
Sou da na - that's right
Dou - how, what
Demo saa - well, you know...
Nakute mou ii - you don't have to [do sth]
Wasurete kudasai - please forget
Forgive me for the long wait on this chapter. It was definitely muzukashii for me. There is only 1 chapter left for me to write for this story. I was supposed to make it end at this point, but there are fairly good reasons it isn't going to. ^^ Best regards, muito obrigada, and I hope to hear from you soon!