I would like to thank Rolling-Chan for pointing out a few mistakes in my last chapter/s. I'm sorry for not noticing it before! I'll take much better care. Thanks again!

Chapter 3: I Like To Forget

I was standing in a beautiful grassy field overrun with lovely flowers. Tulips, daisies, peonies, sunflowers. All of them, swaying gently in the wind. I found myself looking for my favorite flowers: Roses. No sign of them.

I turned round, and I saw Len. He was coming towards me and he had a single rose in his hand. It was deep red, bright and beautiful. He stopped once he had reached me and passed the rose to me. I took it. He smiled, ever so gently, and took my free hand. He started to lead me to a hill.

It suddenly became dark, like night, though it had been daylight a few moments ago. We sat down on the hill where a blanket was. Len held my hand and I clutched my rose tightly.

There were stars too. Many wonderful stars, all making pictures. We both stared up at them and pointed out what each one looked like. One of then looked just like the rose I held in my hand.

I was really enjoying this. I was about to point out another star when Len turned my head slightly, so I was looking directly at him. He smiled at me then leaned forward. Surprisingly, I found myself doing the same. Then...

...

I shot out of bed due to a massive thump from downstairs. I guessed it was Papa, drinking, and he had dropped his bottle or finally smashed the TV to bits. I sighed and leaned back in my bed. What a nice dream...

But why was Len in it? And was he about to...? Was I going to...?

I turned to Dream who was lying beside me, smiling. I picked her up and cuddled her,

"Thank you Dream. You always know how to make me happy, at least in my dreams."

I got out of bed and started the usual routine to get ready for school. I knew that this morning I would have to face Papa as he was awake, possibly. I washed quickly, shoved on my uniform and grabbed my plastic bag. I checked my Maths jotter. Yup, the six dollars were still there, untouched and safe.

I tiptoed out of my bedroom and down the stairs, making for the door as quickly as possible. I felt a large hand clasp around my thin wrist and stop me. I turned round and looked at Papa, nervously. Did he know about the money? Oh no!

"Where you going Princess?" Papa's voice was slurred and a hint of smoke was coming out of his mouth.

"I-I'm going to school Papa. Like I do every morning except the weekends." I replied, trying to edge my way out of this conversation.

He laughed, "You kids and school. When I was a boy I hated school. Do you Princess?"

I shook my head, "No Papa, I like it. Though people bully me, make fun of me."

"But why Princess?" Papa smiled, "You're a cheery little soul," He paused, "If they say something, say something back. It always solves problems, so does physical."

I was shocked. Was my Papa telling me to lash out at Meiko?

I shook my head and broke free of his grasp. "I'm not going to hit Papa or say anything. I'm going to school." I exited the house and ran before stopping when out of sight.

What was that all about? Princess... The last time he called me that was years ago, and when he cared... Why was he so different this morning? He was talking to me, and about school. He was awake.

I walked on towards school. I couldn't get the events of this morning out of my mind. It felt like some sort of sign. Yes he still had the stench or drink and smoke, but he was actually awake and speaking to me. The only things he ever said to me these days were "Where's the money?", "Do you have the money?", "Go to your room." It felt different, it felt strange.

I entered the school and did the usual routine. After eating breakfast, I headed to homeroom. I couldn't wait to read more of Pandora's Box. I had returned it as promised. I wondered if Luka would be here early again, like yesterday. And if she would sit next to me.

I walked into homeroom and froze at what I saw. Meiko was standing smugly with her arms crossed, Pandora's Box in her hand. She smirked when she saw me.

"Oh, hi Hatsune. I didn't expect to see you this morning,"

I was thinking the same thing. Why was Meiko here so early? And why did she have Pandora's Box? What was she doing?

"Though you always come in early. I wonder why that is," Meiko uncrossed her arms and started circling me, "And why do you work? You're a child!"

I didn't reply to any of her questions, just stood there feeling uneasy as she continued circling me.

"Do your parents not respect you then?" She watched me stiffen, "Ah, so that's it. Your parents... So what's the problem? Are they dead? Are they drinking and smoking?"

I could feel her cold hand land on my shoulder. I didn't reply, but Meiko didn't need a reply to know she was right,

"Ah, so little Miku's parents are dedicating their lives to the trash. Well, that explains their wreck of a daughter,"

I stiffened. I remembered Papa's words from this morning, really thought. But I stopped. It wasn't me. I wasn't going to give Meiko the pleasure of watching me suffer and fight her.

"No, that's not it. I just... I..." I didn't know what to say. I had to think of something to say that would get Meiko off my case. But luckily, I didn't have to,

"Sakine? Hatsune?" We both turned around to see Mrs Raynard standing with books in the crook of her arm and a concerned look on her face.

Meiko immediately moved away from me and handed me Pandora's Box. She smiled at me and Mrs Raynard,

"Hi Miss! I was just talking with Miku here and gave her her book. I noticed that she likes reading."

Mrs Raynard smiled, believing Meiko's lie immediately, "We'll that's nice. It's good that you're getting along girls." She placed her books on her desk and headed out of the room, saying something about nipping next door for more paper. As soon as she left, Meiko placed her hands on my shoulders and whispered in my ear,

"I don't care what's happening and what lies you make up. I know what you're up to; trying to steal Luka away from me. Well it won't happen. Soon enough, Luka will hate you. Just like everyone else in your crummy life." She leaned back, smirking horribly. I didn't move, frozen from her ice cold words. She turned away and sauntered out of the classroom, not looking back.

I clutched Pandora's Box to my chest, my plastic bag clashing against it softly. I made my way to my seat, staggering. Why would she say all that? My heart felt like it had been sliced into pieces, millions of them. It was like losing my Mama and Papa all over again. I sat down, putting my bag on the floor and the book on the desk.

I wanted to cry. Just place my head in my hands and cry. It wasn't fair. Meiko knew. She didn't need evidence to know it was true; she just did. I was a horrible liar, which meant that everyone could see right through me. Mama said it was good so she and Papa could easily detect when I was being naughty and telling lies. That caused me to not tell a lie. And that was why Papa received all my earnings from the diner because I couldn't lie and hide it.

I lay my head on the desk but didn't cry. I couldn't; Mrs Raynard would be back at any moment. But I just couldn't help letting one or two escape...

"Hatsune?" I looked up to see Mrs Raynard standing beside me, paper in her hand and a concerned look on her face. Another tear dribbled down mine. She immediately sat the paper on her desk and sat down in the chair next to me,

"Miku, are you alright?" She asked, her pale purple bangs falling into her face which she quickly moved out of the way as soon as they landed there.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want Mrs Raynard to know. If she know, she would ask questions and talk to people who would take me away to a foster care system. The idea of all that scared me. I didn't like my life with Papa either, but at least it wasn't there.

So I just nodded my head. Mrs Raynard didn't look convinced so I did my best to spin her a lie that was believable,

"I'm fine. I just...I don't know. I think I just felt a little like crying. It's not a problem. Sorry Miss," I hung my head, mostly so she couldn't see my lying face.

Mrs Raynard patted my shoulder, "It's alright Miku. We all feel like crying at some point. Are you sure it's nothing though?"

I nodded, smiling weakly. Mrs Raynard nodded and stood up, walking to her desk. She turned to her computer and left me to read my book. I looked at it and picked it up. I buried my head in it, literally, so Mrs Raynard wouldn't see the tears that were still dribbling down my face...

...

"Hi Miku,"

I turned to see Luka sitting at the desk beside me. She was smiling, and I couldn't help but notice she had a tooth missing at her left side. She picked up on my stare easily and quickly explained,

"I was at the dentist this morning. Extraction," She shivered. She'd told me how much she hated dentists, "That's why I wasn't in homeroom this morning. Surely Meiko mentioned something?"

I went back to homeroom in my mind. I was still reading but I heard Meiko saying that Luka was at the dentist and would come in later.

I nodded. I wondered if I should tell Luka about Meiko this morning before homeroom. Her words still frightened me and stung my heart and mind. But Meiko was Luka's friend. Luka knew that Meiko wouldn't be like that. I had no chance. So I didn't say.

"Miku, are you ok? You seem a little nervous..."

I nodded, "I'm fine. Just a little... I dunno."

Luka smiled, "Are you that worried for Maths? Hey, did you finish the homework?"

I froze. I had completely forgot about it. I was planning on finishing it at the diner when I was about to finish my shift, maybe ask Cook or Kitty for a bit of help, but I got...distracted. By, that boy. Len was it? I wondered if he would be at the diner today...

"Um, no," I replied, sheepishly, "I completely forgot about it. There was a bit of an...incident at the diner and I didn't have time..."

"What kind of incident?" Luka asked, "You know that your teacher is gonna make a fuss."

"Nah," I said, ignoring her question, "Miss Patrick doesn't really care; she just sighs and moves on,"

Luka sniffed in disgust though she immediately looked like she wanted to take it back, "She doesn't sound like a very good teacher. It's a wonder she's not fired!"

I thought about it. I often wondered, sometimes hoped, that Miss Patrick would be discovered by Mr Wright, the headmaster. Though I didn't like to wish or hope horrible things on people, only if it was deserved and felt right.

I shrugged, "I don't know." And that was all I could say. We sat in silence for a few minutes. I opened my mouth, turning to Luka to say something, but the loud bell interrupted me.

Luka stood up, smiling. She picked up her bag, gave me a nod and headed to the door. I smiled and gave her a wave before picking up my bag and making my way to the door too. Luka was already gone. I headed to Maths, thinking about my undone homework.

I hated forgetting; but at the same time, I liked it. It was good to forget the things that were troubling you, like a bad past and unhappy events. You got that tiny bit of ease and bliss out of it before unfortunately remembering. I liked being able to take blissful and easy breaths, forgetting, before remembering and welcoming the harsh memories again.

I didn't like to forget important things, though my life events weren't worthy to remember. They are the kind of memories you don't want and just want to get rid of from your mind. It's horrible, and even worse when you can't escape them.

Memories are a part of you, whether you like it or not. They can be good; they can be bad. The good memories are the ones you want to keep. The bad ones are the ones you want to lose hold of. But I can't lose sight of mine. They refuse to be hidden in the dark corners of my mind, refuse to be silenced. They insist they are the important parts of my life. But I don't want them to be...

I open the door to the Maths classroom and take my seat. Miss Patrick is standing at the front of the classroom with a straight look on her face. She's not chewing any gum and she's holding the register and a pen. Something's different, something's wrong...

"Alright class, settle down. The principal has suggested a new method of collecting in homework. I'll mark you down on the register if you have it or not and I write down your reason. Ok? Right, lets start,"

She starts calling out names and students hand in their homework as she goes round collecting it. I start to worry. I haven't got mine... I depended on her laziness to save myself from a no homework mark and punishment. I could only sit and think up a valid reason as she collected homework from the person behind me.

As she stood in front of me, it looked as if she immediately knew that I didn't have it. She sighed and scribbled down with her pen. A no homework mark.

She spoke, "So Hatsune, why is your homework not here today?"

"Um..." I was stuck. My reason was plotted out in my head, but it was as if at the last moment it had left my head, "I... I-"

"Why?" Miss Patrick asked.

I clasped my hands together, gripping tightly until my knuckles were white. All eyes were on me. So I said the only thing that came to mind,

"I just forgot about it..." I mumbled, though loud enough for her to hear.

She raised an eyebrow, "You just forgot?" She sighed and scribbled again then left with a short 'lets start the lesson'.

I slumped down in my seat and got my jotter out of my bag. I fingered the six dollars in there and carefully placed them in my pocket. I couldn't let it out of my sight. I stared blankly at the board as Miss Patrick wrote things down. The lesson plan was still there.

We were actually working. She had stepped up to the mark. Maybe she did care after all? Or maybe she had been caught by Mr Wright like me and Luka were saying earlier.

I jotted down the things on the board and sat back, waiting for Miss Patrick to finish talking. I wasn't listening. My mind was drifting again. To that boy in the diner. No matter what, I couldn't forget those bright sapphire eyes and that banana colored hair. He had been so kind...

"Miku, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't daydream in my class," Miss Patrick broke me away from my thoughts and I nodded quickly. She nodded firmly and began giving out worksheets.

I hated worksheets. They were the worst. Everyone always got worksheets done quick, except me of course. I struggled and sat stuck. I wondered if Miss Patrick would help me...

She placed it in front of me and gave me a small smile. She nodded and asked if I wanted help. I nodded slowly and she smiled and pulled over a seat and sat in front of my desk. It was as if she had turned into Miracle Teacher overnight,

"Ok, so this is pretty easy but it's ok if you don't get it at first. You'll get it eventually. Miku?"

I remembered this set up. It reminded me of when Papa and Mama were going through problems and decided to split. They would go into the big office and I would sit in a chair at a desk of a bright woman who smiled endlessly. She spoke to me as if I were a baby and not a ten year old child.

She would ask me polite questions and give me worksheets to do. She would play with me, keep me amused. Anything to keep my mind of Mama, Papa and the shouting in the office. All this happened the week before Mama left us.

I hated worksheets. And I hated remembering.

"Miku?"

I blinked harshly and looked up at Miss Patrick. She looked a little concerned. I shook my head and then nodded at the worksheet, signaling that I wanted to continue, even though I didn't. Didn't want to at all.

Miss Patrick slowly and carefully explained it, but not like she used to, and I guess I got a little bit of it. She stayed with me the while worksheet. Of course, she occasionally went off to help other kids but she came back to help me. I felt happy all of a sudden at her sudden change.

At the end of the lesson, Miss Patrick collected in the worksheets and told us to pack up. I did so, placing my six dollars back into my jotter then putting it in my plastic bag. I could see Miss Patrick out of the corner of my eye looking at me. She looked slightly pitiful?

When the bell rang and I was about to make my way to the door, she stopped me and asked if I could wait behind.

"But I'll be late for my next class-"

"I'll phone them now to tell them. I don't have a class next period," Miss Patrick, true to her word, phoned up English and told Mrs Maple to tell her I would be late. I couldn't hear Mrs Maple's response. I was actually ok with getting out of English. Anything was better than sitting in that class. Though Luka was there, and she could be wondering where I was.

"Take a seat Miku," Miss Patrick said, gesturing to a seat. I took it and listened, looking at her all the time,

"Miku, is there some reason you keep spacing out? You do it all too constantly,"

"Um..." I tried to think up something, "I'm sorry. I just can't help it I guess..."

Miss Patrick nodded. I wasn't going to tell her I had been daydreaming about a boy!

"Is everything alright at home?"

Her question struck me hard. What was I supposed to say? "No, it's really not. My Mama's dead, my Papa's a drunk and smoking money hog, I work at a diner, I get bullied and I hate my life." No, I don't think so.

"Yes, it's fine," I hoped those three measly words would finish this conversation. I was beginning to worry and tense up.

"Are you sure? You seem a little...nervous?"

"Sure. Just missing English is all," I tried to put on a smile. Miss Patrick sighed and let me go. I could see her eyeing up my sandals and plastic bag as I went. I ignored her look and went to English.

I slowly and quietly made my way into the classroom. According to the clock I was at least six minutes late. Mrs Maple just stared at me as I made my way to my seat. Luka gave me a smile as I sat down next to her. Thankfully, she had saved me a seat.

Mrs Maple started the lesson, not looking at me. I was fine with that. I wrote from the board and did my work silently. Luka helped me with some of it silently. Mrs Maple says how we aren't supposed to talk in class. She never catches Meiko. I think she likes Meiko as she's always smiling sweetly at her, wishing everyone was like her. And in a way, I guess I do kinda wish I was like her. I mean, she had a family and a good life.

I could hear my stomach rumbling quietly and a sudden small pain went through me. It hurt only for a little while. Luka didn't notice and I'm glad because she would just worry. I think I was just really hungry.

"Hey, you look a little hungry?" Len's voice broke the silence,

"No no, I'm fine." I replied.

Len shook his head and rummaged in his bag. He passed me a good looking banana and smiled. "I was saving it for later, but you can have it. You're a little thin aren't you?"

I remembered that at the diner. Len had noticed my underweight appearance. Maybe I wasn't eating enough? Of course, I knew that! Though how could I eat? I had no money. I had to save my six dollars for tomorrow because Luka would try to buy me something and I didn't want that.

The rest of the lesson flew by. I couldn't get my mind of my hunger. The pains were increasing now. As soon as the bell went, I stood up and grabbed my bag. Luka did the same and followed me as I shot out of the classroom. She caught up with me as we reached the canteen,

"Miku, you alright?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm just hungry I guess," I replied, picking up a tray and helping myself to food.

Luka looked concerned and when she thought I wasn't looking, she looked down at my thin stomach. She looked away when I turned back to her and we made our way outside. We usually sat outside at the picnic benches as it was quieter and we could talk with much more ease about private things.

As we sat down, Luka unpacked her lunch from her pink bag and started to eat. I did too, trying to savor my mouthfuls as it was my only food, but it didn't work. I was done way before Luka. She stopped then laughed in amusement and astonishment. I blushed sheepishly. Luka continued eating whilst I sat and stared up at the sky.

Miss Patrick was different. She had changed. I wondered if Luka knew, or if she had something to do with it. Nah!

"So, was Maths ok?" Luka suddenly asked, eating her yogurt.

"Um... I guess," I replied, "Though Miss Patrick was...different,"

Luka looked confused, "Different? What do you mean?"

"Like she was helpful and spoke more and did homework collection properly. She's different," I explained. I actually managed to sort out a few things myself while explaining to Luka.

"Really? Wow," Luka said and finished her yogurt. She placed the empty carton in the rubbish bin beside our bench and turned to me, "So are you definitely coming tomorrow?" Luka asked.

I nodded, "Cook allowed me to take tomorrow off, as long as I made up for it on the weekend,"

"Oh," Luka said, "I didn't mean to make you work the weekend..."

"It's fine. I'd rather work the weekend than stay home with Papa..." I mumbled the last part, dumping my tray to the side. I felt Luka's warm hand on my shoulder and I smiled at her gratefully. I was so lucky to have her...

The memories that she's in I want to keep, always. The memories of her I don't want to forget because those memories are good and make me happy. Those memories aren't the ones holding me back. The other ones are.

The bell rings and me and Luka head back to the school. I remember to pick up my tray and dispose it at the side when we enter the school. I spot Meiko heading towards next class and she turns around and flashes me a horrible look. Luka doesn't notice.

Memories of Meiko this morning have been haunting me all morning and lunch. It's scary how close she can strike to home, literally. I didn't tell Luka; she was convinced Meiko was nice and I wasn't going to ruin her judgement and choice in friends.

I sighed and smiled weakly at Luka who smiled back and lead the way to the next class. We didn't have it together, but they were on the same corridor and floor. As soon as she left my side and sight, I felt alone, again.

I walked into the classroom and took my seat by the window. Meiko shot me a glare and I squirmed uncomfortably in her gaze. She looked away as IA walked in, the new member of Meiko's group. I wondered if Luka would go back to them...?

I placed my palm under my chin and sat in silence until the teacher walked in. He started the lesson as soon as the class was settled and all present, but no matter what I wasn't interested in Geography today. I slumped in my seat, gazing out of the window. Today's shift at the diner crossed my mind again which led to Len.

Why couldn't I stop thinking about him?! Why had I suddenly felt happy when I met him? Why did he look as if he was taking an actual understanding interest in me? Was he? Those sapphire eyes, those banana bangs... I couldn't get him out of my mind!

I had few memories of him, basically one, but I wasn't sure wether I longed to forget it or keep it fresh in my mind. It was as if he was important somehow... But how? Why?

I asked questions too often. They held me back too. Memories and questions, a bad mix. I didn't want to be held back, but somehow, it felt better to do so then rushing forward. Everyone else in my life and around me would rush forward and I would forever remain behind, held back by memories and questions and the thoughts of a blue eyed boy.