Holiday Gift Wrap
Author: Mask of Mirage
Rating: T
Comments: I wanted to get one of these out on Christmas so here you go! Er, spoilers for those not knowing the remaining members of the Akatsuki. I threw Deidara in there for the heck of it because I needed an uneven amount of people.
Gift Victim Four: Itachi Uchiha
The sounds of mutual grumbling filled the room as each of the remaining Akatsuki members that were unlucky enough to be alive still, held each of their presents in their laps.
The only one who looked mildly interested in the gifts at all was Tobi and let's face it, you could give that kid a spoon and it would occupy his attention for a good few hours.
Itachi sighed heavily, each Christmas, Leader-Pein-sama, required his subordinates to trade gifts amongst each other…for some strange reason. Usually the room was left in chaos as most of the gifts were booby-trapped with exploding clay (Deidara's infallible curiosity of bombs) or morbid chunks of human flesh crudely wrapped in wax paper (a suitable gift from Zetsu's point of view).
But this year, due to the uneven amount of members, Itachi was left without a trading partner, not that that bothered him in the slightest; the gifts he usually received each year usually made it to the trash shortly after.
So, it was as follows. Pein-sama got Konan, Tobi got Deidara, and Kisame got Zetsu, respectively. Just when he thought he was going to be let off the hook, Leader-Pein-sama tossed a brightly-wrapped package at Itachi, shooting him a look that said, "Just open it and act like you care."
Itachi turned the package over in his hands, curious as to why there was no tag on it anywhere. Slowly, he ripped the paper off in a bored manner and removed the contents from the inside.
Black eyebrows arched so far up his face that they almost disappeared in his hairline. This action caused Kisame to grow curious as to what Itachi had received, it took a hell of a lot to get Itachi that surprised.
The eldest Uchiha held up a pair of baby pink boxers, catching the attention of the whole room now, they obviously being blinded by such bright attire in their normally dark and drab persona.
"Whose. Idea. Was. This."
Itachi hadn't even spoke it as a question and a shiver of fear raced down each and everyone's spine at that moment and realized that the back of the boxers had to be pretty disturbing.
Slowly, Itachi turned them around for everyone to see, and perhaps own up to it. On the back were the words:
Plays with Elves
And underneath the bold and raunchy writing was a small caricature of Itachi's younger brother Sasuke, adorned with a small, pointy, green elf hat.
The remaining members of the Akatsuki edged casually toward the exits, clearly not wanting to be caught in the cross-fire as Itachi pinned Kisame with his spinning Sharingan hell.
It was a shame that the shark-nin always seemed to be blamed for these kinds of things.
But, of course, Team Akatsuki didn't feel sorry at all.
Not. At. All.
Author's Note: Eh, crack. Good for the soul. Bad for the brain.
MoM