A/N: Hello party people! Sorry for the delay in updating but this chapter required a lot of mulling, deliberation, and even some research.
Special shout out to i-am-a-dork/tiltingaxis for her beta-ing assistance.
Enjoy!
[March 2014]
Finn paced nervously in his dorm room. Rachel would arrive in Providence in an hour via Amtrak. Once she hit Westerly, two stations away, she'd call him and he'd head to the train station to wait for her.
He was hoping she wouldn't be upset. It was good news, really. He couldn't help but recall the last time he told her something like this...
[May 2012]
Finn couldn't believe how perfectly things were turning out. He was a senior, the football team had won conference again, the basketball team made a respectable playoff appearance, and New Directions was headed to Nationals for the second year in a row.
Most importantly, he and Rachel were going to New York together for college. Well, not together really since she'd be going to NYU and he'd only gotten into the Institute of Culinary Education, but they'd both be living in Manhattan, which was just so cool! He didn't think he'd even get into college, but after discovering his interest in cooking Ms. Pillsbury helped him research his options and apply to different schools. He'd been rejected or wait-listed at all the better-known, larger-university culinary programs, but he really didn't care. New York was where he wanted to be, and it seemed a good place to learn to be a chef.
Then he received the letter.
One of the schools that wait-listed him was Johnson & Wales University in Providence, Rhode Island. It was regarded as one of the best four-year colleges for culinary arts, and they also offered courses in management and hospitality that would be really useful if he ever wanted to expand beyond just cooking.
But they wait-listed him. They wrote to him in March saying that he was wait-listed and would know by the end of April if he was in. It was now almost Memorial Day.
"Dear Mr. Hudson," the letter read, "We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into our 2-year associates degree program in Culinary Arts. In addition, we happily report that a roster spot on our men's basketball is being reserved for you. As a Division-III school we do not offer athletic scholarships, but we extend exemplary accommodations and resources to our student-athletes."
A chance to play college basketball! That seemed almost too good to be true, even if it was only D-III. And it would be awesome to go to a "real" college for 2 years, instead of a small cooking school in a gigantic and bustling city. Finn smiled at the excitement of this new development.
Then he thought of Rachel. She'd be happy for him, right? She was always talking about how he needed to advance his career and establish his identity. Apparently she saw some Dr. Phil special about men with successful wives and was worried about his psyche. (Whatever that was.)
But she had said all of that assuming he'd be in the same city as her.
"Well, we have to break up, then," she said matter-of-factly when he told her the next day.
"No!" he'd shouted back, the volume causing her to jump from her seated position at the edge of his bed. "We don't. It's only 2 years, Rach. And it's not that far, only 3 hours from New York by train! We can totally visit each other on weekends, and there are a lot of breaks and stuff. Imagine if I was stuck here in Ohio and you were there? We can do this."
Rachel's expression softened somewhat, but she still looked sad. "I'd never tell you not to go, Finn. This is obviously an amazing opportunity for you. But you'll be a big star athlete, with a multitude of girls vying for your attention. And you can cook! I heard Puck say that your talent in that area would make you a 'chick magnet' if you were single."
"Rachel," he began from his seat next to her, taking her hands in his, "I'm going to school to learn how to cook, so it's not like I'll stick out. Even the business majors have to take Intro to Culinary Arts! And I doubt people really care that much about JWU sports." He looked into her eyes, silently pleading with her to trust him.
"No, Finn. I can't do it. I can't waste 2 years of college missing you and wondering what you're doing so far away." She stood and turned to face him. "It'll be better for you too. You don't want a long-distance relationship weighing you down."
"Rachel..." he felt his heart sink at her implication that she was some kind of burden to him. "I love you. What do I have to do for you to trust me?"
"I don't know Finn. Can I take some time to think about it? I need time to process this sudden and unexpected development." She leaned over and kissed his cheek gently. "I am, of course, very proud of you."
He shrugged, unsure of what to say before she left. The next day at school she avoided him and pouted, and he knew he had to do something to convince her that they could survive two years in different cities.
[March 2014]
His ringing cell phone woke him from his recollection of the past.
"Hello my love!" Rachel's bright voice poured into his ear. "We just pulled out of Westerly, so you should probably leave now."
"All right," he replied, trying not to sound nervous. "Can't wait to see you."
"Nor I you. But aren't you excited that this is the last time I'll be visiting you at school? I really can't wait for you to graduate and move to New York already."
Finn couldn't believe he had to resort to this. "What? Oh, uh, you're breaking up, Rach, you must be in a bad service area. I'll see you soon!"
How was he supposed to tell her that he had the opportunity to spend 2 more years in Providence? As he walked to the train station, his thoughts returned to two years earlier, and what he finally came up with back then...
[May 2012]
It had been several days since Finn first told Rachel his big news. She'd been slightly less pouty, but still hadn't commented on the future of their relationship. And everyone else noticed her downtrodden mood.
"Hey Finn, hang back a sec," Mr. Schue stopped him as the rest of the Glee club scattered after their rehearsal.
"I know, I know," Finn said. "Nationals is coming up and we can't have Rachel in a big funk or whatever."
"Well, it'd be nice if she wasn't. But I'm more concerned about this important decision about your future."
Finn blinked, waiting for his teacher to dispense some meaningful advice.
"I think it'd be good for you to go to JWU, obviously because of the educational opportunities but also to be your own person for a while. College is a very important time for emotional growth, and... let's just say that maybe Terri and I would still be married if we'd gone to college apart. Or maybe we wouldn't have gotten married at all for whatever reason."
Finn tried his best not to look confused. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to take romantic advice from someone with as odd a love-life as his glee advisor.
"Anyway, I'm not saying break up with Rachel. You two obviously care about each other. In which case you should be able to let her know that she can trust you."
He thought about it overnight and did a little... research. Then he texted Rachel to meet him in the auditorium after school the next day.
He wrangled the jazz band and paced nervously on stage until Rachel arrived.
"What is this, Finn?" she asked, looking around curiously and taking a seat in the front row.
"I need to tell you something. Well, I've tried already. I thought you may listen to me better this way." He turned to the band members, who started playing the intro to the song he'd chosen. Rachel watched as he sang.
"Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
And they may not want it to end
But it will it's just a question of when
I've lived long enough to have learned
The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned
But that won't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of trust
I know you're an emotional girl
It took a lot for you to not lose your faith in this world
I can't offer you proof
But you're going to face a moment of truth
It's hard when you're always afraid
You just recover when another belief is betrayed
So break my heart if you must
It's a matter of trust
You can't go the distance
With too much resistance
I know you have doubts
But for God's sake don't shut me out
This time you've got nothing to lose
You can take it, you can leave it
Whatever you choose
I won't hold back anything
And I'll walk a way a fool or a king
Some love is just a lie of the mind
It's make believe until its only a matter of time
And some might have learned to adjust
But then it never was a matter of trust
I'm sure you're aware love
We've both had our share of
Believing too long
When the whole situation was wrong
Some love is just a lie of the soul
A constant battle for the ultimate state of control
After you've heard lie upon lie
There can hardly be a question of why
Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
But that can't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of trust…"
Rachel's eyes were wide, and Finn couldn't tell what that meant exactly. He had hoped to avoid an embarrassingly dramatic Rachel Berry reaction.
He hopped down from the stage and approached her. "I know it won't be easy," he began, taking her hands in his, "but it doesn't have to be that hard, you know? Like, maybe it's hard for other people, but those people aren't you and me."
Rachel offered a half-smile. "You promise you'll visit as much as your schedule permits?"
"Totally! I mean I'm not sure how it'll work during basketball season, but that's only 4 months of the year, and you can come to my games, right?"
"I suppose I could dig up my Team Finn shirt..."
Finn chuckled. "The rest of the year, I'll be at every performance, concert, showcase, dress rehearsal-"
Rachel interrupted him with a sweet kiss... which was also very hot at the same time. (How did she DO that? he wondered.) "Okay," she said, staring into his eyes.
"Okay?" Could it really have been that easy?
She nodded thoughtfully. "We love each other, and trust each other. Sometimes I can't help but think back to all of the drama with Jesse and Santana and Puck and Quinn... but we worked through those issues and we're different people now."
He returned the nod but didn't say anything, since he was fairly certain she wasn't done talking. (Rachel Berry is never done talking, really.)
Sure enough, she gave his hands a squeeze and continued. "You've matured greatly since ascertaining your desired career path. I've really been so impressed by your decision to pursue such a creative and competitive field, and if you need to be in Providence for 2 years to do that, I support you completely." She smirked slightly. "I still say my banana bread is better than yours, but maybe you'll work on that up there."
"Hey, I'm going to be a chef, not a baker," he retorted, squeezing her side and eliciting a fantastic squeal as they strolled out of the auditorium.
[March 2014]
Recalling that earlier experience, Finn decided that maybe he didn't have all that much to worry about. Uber-dramatic, high-strung high-school Rachel was upset at first but ultimately understood. So more mature and mellower college Rachel would be super happy about this news, he assured himself as he paced in the Amtrak waiting room.
As it had turned out, they were each always insanely busy, and the time between their weekend visits and school breaks just flew by. Sure Finn wanted to graduate and start his career and be with Rachel every day. But he really really liked college, and he was thrilled to have a chance to stay longer. It was very confusing and he thought he might burst from the internal conflict before he was finally able to discuss the situation with her. It wouldn't involve singing, but he felt that his planned method of persuasion would prove equally effective.
Finally Rachel's train was announced as arriving, and a moment later she strode off of the platform and into Finn's arms.
"Hey!" he yelped as she threw herself at him. All of the college visits started off that way, whether they'd been apart for one week or five.
Rachel pulled away from the vigorous embrace long enough to plant a soft kiss on Finn's lips. "I missed you."
"Missed you too," he returned as he slung her duffel bag over his shoulder, taking her hand in his and starting for the exit.
They dropped Rachel's bag off at his room, then walked across campus to one of the classroom buildings. He could have easily cooked in the floor lounge kitchen back at the dorm, but Rachel always liked the kitchen lab experience. She'd said it made her feel more connected to his college existence.
He led her to the room where he had International Cuisine lab. Each semester he buddied up to one of the upperclassman teaching assistants, so that when Rachel visited he could get the room blocked off on the schedule for his exclusive use.
"Here we are," he said, holding the door open for Rachel. All of the kitchen rooms were the same, with rows of island counter stations each containing a prep space, sink, and 4-burner stove range above a small refrigerator, oven, and some shelves. This being her fifth visit, Rachel started towards their usual spot before Finn he even turned on the lights. Unlike usual, though, he only flipped one switch. This turned on half of the lights, dimly revealing the two place settings and candlesticks he'd set up on the counter.
"Ohh, Finn..." she breathed excitedly as she made herself comfortable on one of the stools.
He smiled. The candles weren't even lit yet and she was already impressed.
"Let me get that." He leaned over to light them, a soft glow settling around the room.
"Wine?" Another perk of being friends with the TAs.
"Ooh, yes please!" Rachel perked up even more as he displayed a bottle of chianti.
"It'll have to breathe for a few minutes," he warned after expertly uncorking it, earning an exaggerated pout from his dinner guest.
Meanwhile he started removing items from the refrigerator and setting them on the counter. Because Rachel's train had gotten in on the later side he would simply be heating food he'd prepared earlier that week, whereas he usually put on a good show of making an elaborate dinner on her first night. It seemed like the wine and candles were doing the trick there, but Finn would have welcomed more involved meal preparation to distract him from the news he had to share. The school ovens are all industrial and preheat to 300° in about 30 seconds (no ear-splitting signal tone necessary!), so all he had to do was slip the baking dish onto the middle rack and set the kitchen timer for 15 minutes. Then he turned back to the island to present the appetizer.
"Okay, so for our first course, I made-"
"Finn..." Rachel interrupted him in a tone he hated. It was the you're-doing-something-wrong-and-you-should-know-what-it-is tone. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
He thought for a moment, then laughed. Some things about Rachel would never change. Reaching under the counter, he pulled his chef's hat off of the shelf and put it on.
"That's better," Rachel said approvingly, flashing a sly smile.
Finn cleared his throat and began again. "For our first course, we have a chilled lentil soup that I made yesterday." He placed one small bowl in front of Rachel and one in front of himself, removing the plastic wrap from each one as he sat down across the counter from her.
She dipped her spoon into the bowl, scooping some soup and daintily bringing it to her lips. "Mmm..." she hummed thoughtfully as she swallowed. "It's really the perfect consistency."
"Yeah, I only used a pinch of flour. The first batch had more and it wasn't pretty." He wiped his mouth and carefully folded his napkin next to his plate when he was finished. If nothing else, cooking school had taught Finn all kinds of table manners that he didn't even know existed.
He watched Rachel eat, delicately sipping small spoonfuls of soup. She looked even more beautiful than he'd remembered, her smiling face bathed in the candlelight. Not that he'd forgotten what she looked like. Seeing her live and in-person was just SO much better than grainy web-cam video-chats on his computer screen or still photos on his bedroom wall.
She finished her soup and moved her bowl off to the side, reaching her hands across the small space to grasp his.
"I'm so glad you're here." He squeezed her (tiny) hands slightly.
She grinned even wider. "Me too."
He was a little surprised that she wasn't spouting off about their plans for his move to New York, but thanked Cheesus that he had a little more time to find the right moment to tell her about JWU's offer.
"Is the wine ready?" Rachel asked, biting her lip innocently.
"Oh! Yeah it should be." Man was he off his game.
He poured them each a glass and they talked for a few minutes about Rachel's upcoming musical. She'd be playing Roxy Hart in Chicago for two consecutive weekends in late April. It was her first lead role in an NYU production. High-school Rachel would have lamented that it took nearly 4 semesters for that to happen, but college Rachel was humbled by NY almost immediately and was genuinely (nervously) excited. Finn couldn't believe how mellow and… normal she seemed. He definitely never wanted her to change, but she just seemed happier this way. He hoped that she noticed some added maturity in him since starting college. (She didn't have to know about the 30-second kegstand at last weekend's end-of-season basketball party.)
The soft tone of the kitchen timer sounded, signaling that the eggplant-parmigiana lasagna was finished baking. Luckily Finn had been able to convince Rachel to eat cheese and eggs. At first she required that they be organic, but lately she didn't even seem to care.
"Oooh, that looks good!" she exclaimed as he carefully removed it from the oven.
He portioned them each a serving (an actual, recommended-serving-size serving, even though he'd totally be taking a second plate) and started eating.
"Mmmm! Finn this is delicious. Seriously." Rachel's compliment escaped her lips in between chews of her first bite. Finn tried not to blush.
While eating they continued talking about their plans for the remainder of the semester.
"Have you given any thought to your job search?" Rachel asked after a pause, cautiously looking up from her last few bites of lasagna.
He took a deep breath. It was now or never. This is good news, he reminded himself, and smiled as he began to share it.
"It's funny you should mention that."
"Funny? I think it's hardly humorous that you're graduating in May and need to find gainful employment-"
"They want me to stay." He interrupted her softly.
"They what?" Rachel's posture stiffened in response, eyebrows raised.
"I had a meeting with Professor Trivino last week. JWU offered me a half-scholarship if I stay two more years. I'll graduate with a BS in culinary arts and food service management." When Rachel didn't say anything, Finn cleared his throat and continued. "I know it means that I won't be joining you in New York as soon as we'd planned, and I'm totally bummed about that, but I can definitely work or intern there over the summers and I hear they may start a program where we can spend our last semester in another city so it may not even be a full two years-"
"Finn!" she exclaimed, reaching across the counter (nearly knocking over the candlesticks) to grab the collar of his shirt and pull him in for a sloppy, excited kiss. "That's amazing!" she squealed when they broke apart, then dove right back in with such force that his hat fell off of his head and onto the floor.
Finn felt his eyes roll back in his head. He was so relieved by Rachel's reaction... and the way she was alternating between nibbling his bottom lip and swirling her tongue around his was making him dizzy.
"Mmm... Rach..." he managed to say between her assaults on his mouth. He gently held the sides of her face away from his for a moment. "This is okay?"
"Yes! It's more than okay! I'll always be there for you, and New York will be waiting for when you're done here. The opportunity to obtain a more advanced college degree is more important than all of that."
Then she looked at him seductively. "Can we take dessert to go?"
[A few hours later]
"So who told you?" Finn leaned up onto his shoulder so he was facing the stunning brunette lying next to him in his (entirely too small) bed.
"Wha- what do you mean, Finn?" she retorted, with an obvious dose of forced innocence in her tone.
"Come on, you may be a budding young actress, but I know you too well for it to work." He slowly ghosted the fingertips of his free hand down her exposed side, knowing it would tickle her.
"Finn!" she squealed and tried to fend him off, but of course her small fists did little to that end.
"You knew about my scholarship offer before you even got off that train, and I have to know who in my family to kill."
She got in a few punches before he increased his efforts, leaning over and pinning her arms above her head with one hand while the other tickled her mercilessly. The playful struggle continued for a minute or so, when Rachel relented.
"Fine! I'll tell you, I swear!" she exclaimed amidst her squeals and little grunts of resistance. Finn ceased the tickle torture but kept her arms pinned, eyeing his girlfriend warily. "It was your mom."
"Dammit!" Finn threw himself back onto the pillows, clearly frustrated. "I can't be mad at her."
"I know, baby." This time it was Rachel sitting up on her arm, leaning over to smooth Finn's hair. "Luckily for me," she giggled.
"Yeah, if it was Kurt you'd both be getting some hellish retaliation." He reached an arm out and pulled Rachel flush against him, sighing.
"Something wrong, Chef Finn?"
"Not at all, Rach," he replied before kissing the top of her head.
He couldn't believe how perfectly everything was turning out.
A/N: My husband and I started dating in high school but went to college in different cities. It wasn't easy at the time but definitely strengthened our relationship as well as our individual identities. So I always wanted to write a future!Finchel fic involving their long-distance college relationship. Expect another chapter at some point that delves more deeply into the substance of their college experiences.
The song is Billy Joel's "A Matter of Trust", which I've always thought was very Finchel-esque.
As always, thanks for sticking with me. Your reviews make me squee. Audibly.