A/N : Hi everyone ! So first, sorry for the freaking long wait but, as you all know this fanfiction is actually a translation of the french version so I spent more time writing it in french but, I promise, i will finish translating at least 4 chapters before I keep writing in french. I obviously take a long time to translate and it's probably not as good as it could be for someone who is english but hey, i'm trying and i promise guys that this story gets better (the french version has 6 more chapters right now and i had some reviews).
Anyway hope you like it, translating it is also a way for me to be better in english and to read all over again my fanfic so i can write the other chapters without get lost lol.
Thanks for all the messages, I really do appreciate it. Keep reading ! x
In the head of Lauren.
First I asked Liam if he wanted the details of this evening. Honestly, I just wanted him to leave faster from my home. Mostly because of this night. I couldn't stop thinking about what happened between him and me. It's a chance that he doesn't remember anything, with a bit of luck, his memory won't come back any time soon, I hope. Anyway, Liam was waiting for me to tell him so I sat down on the edge of my bed and he did the same. I looked deeply into his eyes and I started talking.
« I was about to go to bed when I heard Karma looking for you downstairs, she kept saying « Liam ? » and it was boring. I don't know why she only checked there. Perhaps she was just too stupid. Or lazy who knows... » I said before keep going,
« I didn't wonder why she was trying to find you. Clearly she wanted to talk to you, actually, I didn't care. I am a curious girl, but it's better to listen to someone if what that person says is interesting right ? » I asked, still looking at him.
« I guess, » Liam replied, waiting for me to say something else.
« But I kept spying beucause it's stronger than me. After a few minutes looking for you, she left the house, slamming the door. No respect ! Then I was about to go in my room, but suddenly, it's Shane who entered. He looked everywhere around him before looking upstairs and saw me. Then he came up to talk to me. He first asked me where you were and I replied that I did not know and that I didn't care at all. Then he wanted to see Amy in her room, he just wanted to know how she was. He went there and was out again almost immediately. After a little while he said, I quote : « She fell asleep, I think she drank a little bit too much, »
We had almost all been drinking tonight, it was not a surprise. Then Shane spoke to me again and I was wondering when the hell was him going to leave me alone. He just said he would probably go with Pablo because he didn't know where you were and I that I should tell you if i see you around. And the only place where I could see you was in my room, because well, that's where I was going and I actually did see you there. »
The head of Liam froze, he couldn't believe it. But he didn't hear everything yet. He is lucky to just hear that, because it would have been worse if he had to remember the scene in his head. And I know how it feels, each passages of this evening paraded one after the other in my mind. I would have preferred that this is was actually a nightmare and that I would have woken up but no. Everything was absolutely real. I did not recognize myself, I can not be that kind and stupid to do all this with a guy who was drunk. My past has made me cold and bitter, and it couldn't change.
Finally, I wondered if I had to keep telling him, seeing the panic on his face like if he was about to throw up.
« Okay, do you want me to continue ? I did not want to hear you whining any longe, » I said, staring at him as he was walking in the room panicked. He took a deep breath and sat down again next to me.
« Yes, keep going, » he replied.
« Shane left with Pablo and I walked into my room head down, looking a the floor. I made a huge leap when I looking up and saw you there, walking like a zombie, looking right and left. I stared at you for a few minutes, I was really mad but only in the inside. I didn't say anything, I didn't react but I wanted to kick your ass and order you to leave the room quickly. But I finally pronounced your name slowly.
You turned around and your eyes meeting mine and you had an awful face. You were such a mess. I was right, you were really a zombie. You tried to speak, and I understood but with a big despair and an incredible motivation. » I told Liam, annoyed.
« What did I say ? » Liam asked,
« You said that you were the object in that story. You were injured. You were remoseful. You told me about you and Karma. You talked to me about Amy, you said things I already knew like you were stupid and useless... and you said something about your family. » i started and then added,
« Thinking about it again it was funny, but at this time i didn't have the heart to laugh. Everything you told me was annoying to death. I was tired, and I was just thinking about what happened with Shane and Tommy and... » I couldn't say something else because Liam started talking,
« Shane ? What happened with Shane ? And what do you know about my family ? » he said, shocked.
« Ah, you don't know ? Shane is the one who put all that mess between Tommy and me... and your family, you just told me that your family was complicated. And I don't give a shit, you have your problems, I have mine. » I replied before Liam started speaking again.
« Ok... how Shane made you break up with Tommy ? I'm not sure if you're saying the truth right now. Shane promised me to do nothing against you. » he said with a frown.
« He revealed my secret... somehow. Whether you believe me or not, all this doesn't matter. The facts are there. That's all. » I grumbled, even more annoyed now.
Liam looked confused, « But he promised ! » he yelled.
« But he did. Does he broke his gay scout's word ? Why this question, of course he did. It's obvious ! Anyway, after that i have fully discloser my secret to Tommy and he dumped me. But we're not talking about me here ! »
« Yes, it's true... go on. » Liam replied, waiting for me to continue.
« After what you said, I sat on the edge of my bed like now and you joined me. I started to talk to you as a friend, even if it is absolutely not the case. I was disoriented. Nobody have seen this side of me before. Be happy. » I said.
« Too bad I don't remember right... It had to be really fun. I didn't know you could be kind, and I will probably never see it again. » Liam complained.
« No, fortunately. » I said.
« What for ? Are you afraid that I announce to the whole world that you have a heart ? » Liam joked .
« Because I revealed my secret. I'm lucky you don't remember. We talked a while, you kept complaining, you were about to fall into tears and I was watching you with compassion. I kissed you. It was too weird, I don't believe it. I want to throw up just thinking about it. Why do I have to remember that ? » I grumbled, looking disgusted.
« Wait, are you kidding ? » he yelled, shocked.
« No, you asked me if it was an act of mercy, I replied that it was to shut you up. »
« Oh, » Liam said simply before I said something else,
« Unfortunately I had no control over the situation. All that was in my head, it was Tommy and that moment when he said that you slept with all the most hot girls of the school. I was frightfully jealous. So, during a moment I hesitated between doing it or not. » I told him,
« Do what ? » he asked, and looked confused.
« Sleep together. » I replied simply.
« Don't tell me that we did ! » he started, shocked.
« I wanted to be like everyone else, and it was kind of like a consolation... It lasted only two minutes. After my thoughts have changed, it was only remorse, sadness... a sudden regret. I no longer wanted to be « like everyone else » and I don't wanted to sleep with someone I don't even like anymore. I didn't want to look like those girls in high school who are already pregnant. » I said, Liam still shocked and panicked.
« No ! No ! no... » he murmured.
He looked even more desperate. He pulled his hair, he stood up suddenly and turned around, his eyes shone as he was about to cry. I struggled to keep talking, but I had to.
« Sorry to tell you this, but also, your underpants almost made me want to puke. I pushed you and I have commanded you to leave my room. You jumped from my bed nacked and I started to cry, putting my head in my pillow. I didn't see you anymore. But I heard the door close. Then, I only heard my sobs. Five minutes later I fell asleep. So you didn't take your clothes... »
« Shit ! But... we were protected ? » he asked
« Yes... well no actually... but it only lasted five minutes. There is no chance that I'm pregnant. » I replied, not even sure of my own answer.
Liam nodded his head slowly, and I asked him if he could leave because I was really annoyed and couldn't handle seeing him there next to me.
He nodded is head again, walked to the door and went out of my room, disoriented. The door slammed, very strong. I looked into the void. Because I wasn't sure of anything in reality. I heard Liam still behind the door, he called Shane with his phone. But I think I heard what he said :
« Hi, Shane it's Liam. I need to talk to you like... as soon as possible. Please call me back. » he said before descending the stairs and said goodbye to Amy and Farrah and then going out.
It was such a big problem. I didn't know how to get out of this shit. Tommy would probably tell everyone my secret, that would also ruin my reputation. No one in this school knew my past. My father promised not to say anything to protect me. If people learn what happened before, everyone will turn against me. Lizbeth know I have to take pills every day but I never really told why I had to take it.
But, plus, I slept with Liam while he was drunk, he just broke up with Karma, which had just talked to Amy.
What to do... ?
A/N: It's a big mess and I am really sorry. It will get better I promise, just keep reading.
Thanks to my friend Laetitia and thanks to everyone who take the time time to read this. Hope it's not too bad. x