Author's Note: Sorry that it took me a while to update! The next update may be a little slow in coming, but we will see.
Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters, objects, or places. I own only my plot.
Loki slowly recuperates from his injuries. They are small, and he would fix them with his magic if he were strong enough. But he is not yet fully recovered, so his magic will not often bend to his will for the period of time necessary to heal his wounds. He is surprised that he was able at all to help Thor when he fell from the tree, but he supposes that people often doing impossible things when they must, and he does not ask questions.
Life works in mysterious ways, he notices one day. He has watched the ways of the Asgardians, how they live each of their days. They grow older, unless one is of course a god or goddess of youth, but they never die. Though their bones may creak and their muscles may ache, they will never die of old age. Sure, a god or goddess can die in battle. But if the Midgardians love them enough, if they have enough support of their followers, then they can be resurrected.
Midgardians, the mortals, on the other hand, cannot ever be reborn. Mortals live their lives, hopefully to the fullest, and then they grow old. Their heads grow weary and their hair turns shades of grey and pristine white. And then, they die glorious deaths. Most of their deaths, Loki notices, tend to occur in beds, with their loved ones looking over them. He thinks it might be nice to have someone watch you as you die, so that you are never alone, even in your very darkest hour.
He does not think that any of the Asgardians will grant him such a courtesy.
Loki rises up from his bed, running a pale hand through his dark hair. He looks so much unlike them. And sometimes, he wonders what path his body will take. Will he live forever, as the Asgardians do? Or will he die due to old age, as the mortals do? Or perhaps, being a Jotunn, he will endure another situation entirely.
Whichever way it goes, he hopes that he will never again have to fight his brother as he did a week ago at the Bifrost.
Anger, he knows, should never be built up for an age as his was. For years he lived under the presumption that he was simply the lesser son of Odin, but an Asgardian all the same. He stood in Thor's rather large shadow, but it was not altogether an unpleasant place to be. Sure, he did not get the same advantages that his elder brother got. Sure, he was often ridiculed by his brother's lofty friends. But all the same, he lived a lovely life. He was a god, or so he thought. If he had wanted anything, it could have been his, though perhaps second-hand and passed down from Thor.
Then, the bomb had dropped. Odin, the god he had once thought to be his father, revealed who Loki truly was. He was a Frost Giant, and not even a normal one at that; he was simply the runt of an ungrateful Jotunn king. And even worse than that, Odin saw him as simply a tool, an instrument of peace. Loki was nothing to him, nothing but an object to be used when the time became right.
From that moment on, Loki had known that he had no place amongst the gods. He was unwanted everywhere he went; he had no proper place to be anymore. The people of Asgard did not know his true identity, but they all the same still sensed that something was rather different about the All-Father's youngest son.
Loki had then done the unmentionable; he had betrayed Odin and all the Asgardians. He let the Frost Giants into the palace. He let them break the fragile borders. And even worse, he let them get to the All-Father, something that everyone had been working for centuries to avoid.
But then, something inside of him had changed. His goals, his wishes, his soul changed. And in that moment, he realized what his goal had been all along. All he had ever wanted, all that he had ever been trying to do, was to be the equal of his brother. He held nothing at all against Thor. The situation itself had been created by Odin, not by his eldest son.
And so, Loki had taken revenge over the being that had created the whole problem in the first place: his true blood father, Laufey. He had committed the worst crime of all: patricide. And thus, he had not truly expected to survive his battle with Thor at the Bifrost. So he played it safe, fighting back just enough to convince Thor that he meant to fight fair. And Thor, who had never been the more intelligent of the two brothers, completely fell for his trick.
So the two brothers fought, and Loki fell first.
And then, when all had seemed right and his plan was coming to fruition, Thor had decided to do a very strange thing. He had begun to destroy the rainbow bridge, and thus destroy any hope of ever seeing Jane again.
And Loki had changed his mind and left his path. He had stopped his brother from losing all hope due to a very foolish action.
And now, Loki stands by the window, looking down at the gardens below. Sif and Thor sit side-by-side upon a stone bench. He has an arm wrapped around her strong shoulders, but Loki does not think that it will ever come to more than friendship.
If Thor loved his Jane enough to sacrifice ever seeing her again to save his world, then he doubts that he will simply leave her for a Valkyrie.
Loki turns away from the two friends, straightening his green coat. He was finally able to obtain some respectable clothes the other day, to replace the worn tunic he had been wearing for days now. He is currently dressed in an emerald coat, a black tunic, and black trousers. He leaves off his shoes for now; he has nowhere in particular to go.
But then, his door slams open and a particularly annoying head peeks its way in.
"Loki!" Thor exclaims. "You're awake."
"Was I not at some point?"
"Well, I came in two hours ago and you were sleeping like the dead," Thor says. "I don't think you were even breathing." Lovely side effect of being a Frost Giant. "But you looked peaceful so I let you be. And then I went to find Sif, because we needed to talk and now I'm back and you're awake."
"Congratulations," Loki says sarcastically. "Amazing day you've had so far."
"I know!" Thor says. "But are you feeling better?"
"Infinitely so, brother. At least physically."
"Not mentally?" For once, Thor seems to be showing intelligence. Of course, he chose precisely the wrong moment at which to employ it.
"Brother, do you know of the secrets that the All-Father kept from us?" Loki asks. Thor looks confused for a moment, but then he shakes his head.
"What secrets do you speak of?" he asks, puzzled.
Loki takes a deep breath and leans against the windowsill, the sharp wood poking into his lower back. "Thor, I am not your brother by blood, but by adoption." He pauses, and when Thor nods, he continues. "I am a Frost Giant, one of those despised Jotunns."
"I knew that, Loki," Thor replies quietly. "Those unfortunate facts do not change the fact that I still consider you dearer to me than anyone who has ever lived, even Jane. You are my brother, and the simple matter of blood relation does not change that."
"Thanks for the assurance," Loki mutters. "But did Father tell you why I was adopted?"
"He told me that you were left alone, and that no one seemed to be responsible for you. You were just a baby, Loki, why wouldn't the All-Father save you?" Thor says. He walks over to the bed and perches on its side, facing his young brother directly.
"Perhaps he found me weak, that is possible," Loki replies. "But he had a greater purpose still. He was planning to use me to unite our kingdom with that of the Frost Giants. The All-Father raised me as an Asgardian child, by your side. He educated me in books, facts, and figures, and I studied magic on my own. He was going to send me back to Jotunheim, as a refined, pristine Jotunn prince. And there, he figured, I could bring Laufey down and establish peace between the two kingdoms." Loki draws in a deep breath. "And that is truly all that he saw me as, brother. A tool to be used when the time was right."
Thor can do nothing but stare at his brother, finally laid bare for him to see. He had always known that Loki was the darker, more secretive, of the two young men. But he had not known how betrayed he was, how meaningless Loki was to their father.
He watches as Loki folds in on himself, burying his face in his pale, long-fingered hands. His shoulders shake a little, and Thor realizes that this is probably the first time that Loki has ever told anyone these terrible things. And even though the offense was not against Thor, he feels the same betrayal in his heart, the same hurt.
Slowly, Thor stands up and walks to his brother's side. He lays a hand upon one of his quivering shoulders, and Loki looks up. His normally pale face is tinted red from crying, and Thor wonders just how long he has known this and had to keep it a secret.
"This doesn't change anything," Thor whispers. "You're still my brother, regardless of what lies you have been told all your life. We grew up together, Loki. You're still my brother."
"Thank you," Loki says, and Thor thinks that this is the first time that his brother has ever thanked anyone for anything. "But this does not change what the All-Father did to me, all those years." Thor notices that Loki will no longer call Odin "father", and he supposes that this is simply indicative of worse to come. And he fears that he will not be able to stop his brother when the time comes.
"I know," Thor replies. He reaches across Loki's face to brush his black bangs from his eyes, something he used to do all the time when they were children. He used to hate not seeing peoples' eyes, for that was the only way that he could see their opinion of him. Loki had always been able to tell everything about a person from just watching them walk or hearing them speak.
"And what do you suppose I do about?" Loki asks desperately. "He's the All-Father. I can't exactly murder him as I did Laufey!"
"No, you cannot," Thor murmurs. "But you can escape."
"W-what do you mean?" Loki asks. "Escape? How? I'm not exactly welcome in most places nowadays, in case you've forgotten."
"Well, brother," Thor says, a small smile gracing his lips. "When you've been up here resting, Heimdall and some others have been repairing the Bifrost."
"What?"
"Turns out it can totally be saved," Thor says. "They're actually going to finish tomorrow, they said. I was going to wait until then to tell you, but…"
"There is no way that the All-Father or Heimdall are going to let us use the Bifrost, brother," Loki says. "Remember what happened last time? You got exiled and I got crowned king. Not the best situation ever, I would say. And most Asgardians would agree with me."
"Yes, but maybe we don't need their permission," Thor says, a persuasive tone in his voice. "You can start the Bifrost yourself. With your staff."
"Yes…" Loki sighs. "But remember how much trouble that brought last time?"
"We're not going anywhere dangerous this time, brother. We're going to Midgard."
TO BE CONTINUED…