A/N: This is my favorite chapter so far, I just love it.

Descending, unending
& still I'm pretending
I've regressed to become one of them

—OTEP; Otep Shamaya; Eat the Children

When the weekend finally came I was more than exhausted. My sleepless nights were finally catching up to me. The stress and nervousness of being found out, and of being left out was pushing into me with unyielding pressure.

I didn't wake up until late on Saturday afternoon. As soon as I saw the darkness leering over my room I pulled the quilt up to my chin, threw my vibrating phone into the drawer and ducked into the inviting warmth.

My mind was full of hazy pictures and so I focused on each one. It was a rare occasion that I dreamt and remembered it.

I saw pictures dancing lightly across the back of my eyelids and I vaguely recognized each one. I saw some of my mother who was now in a sunny, warm, and cloudless place. She was tanning by the beach, sipping from a margarita that I knew she'd be having now that she didn't have a child to influence.

I could see my dad sitting at his desk at the station, laughing over some report that he was handed. When I was little he would take me with him. I remembered funny stories that people called in and were caught for.

I saw Jacob hanging out with his friends, wrestling each other and jeering the others on as each one tried to get in a headlock.

And then I saw Edward. I didn't have a setting for him, though. I just saw his calm, passive face, sitting on air, his hands clenched around his knees and his eyes shaded into black holes. I frowned to myself in my head.

He looked familiar, and I was immediately thrown back into the times that everything was innocent bliss with horrible ignorance of the future.

I could hear the thundering bass of the music, the smell of vomit where some kid had puked on the cushion beside me, and the glass of brandy in my hand.

That night was the first time I'd ever tried alcohol. I threw away the beers I was offered, but the sour biet and the burning sensation of the brandy made me feel alive. I was on my third glass, but my vision was too hazy.

The thickness of the room was absolutely stifling, so while I ignored the calls of my name as I walked by, the hand on my waist from Jacob who wanted to bring me here and had asked me out again only minutes ago, I left the house and walked mindlessly into the woods.

In the back of my mind I compared it to the horror movies I'd seen. I was stupid enough to think I was sober, I knew I had to be drunk. My clumsiness was magnified as I continually stumbled over rocks and twigs that happened to be in my way. Well, I was in the rocks and twigs way, nature intended for them to be there, but what about me?

I deposited my brandy on a boulder and thanked it for holding it for me while I moved towards a little dancing light in the distance.

He was sitting in the middle of the field, one leg pulled his chest balancing a lighter that he was flicking on and off, and in the other was a newly lit cigarette.

My drunken curiosity flamed and I found myself walking to him. I'd seen him in school, always just in passing. He looked sad or angry, or just stoic when I saw him before. Now he looked very thoughtful, but as I neared, his head snapped up and he looked at me. His body went rigid like he was ready to attack me, but his shoulders went slack and he looked away from me.

Normally I would have been put off and probably would have run away before he could clearly see my face, but the stupor hanging over me wanted to continue on to him.

So I sat in the grass next to him.

I turned my head in the direction he was looking and saw the huge moon in the sky. How could I have not seen that before?

His hand rose from the ground and he brought the cigarette to his lips and took a big inhale before he held it out to me.

"Oh, I don't smoke," I mumbled.

"You want to try?" His voice was monotone when he asked, his eyes never leaving the sight of the moon.

I grabbed the cigarette from his hand and tried to remember how to smoke. Okay, don't breathe it into your lungs, take a mouthful of smoke, and then blow out…

I swallowed a gulp full even though I tried to stop breathing and I coughed loudly to get all the smoke out. A thud sounded through my body before I felt pounding on my back. I coughed until my throat was dry, and then I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"S—sorry."

"S'okay, happens to everyone their first time. I threw up." He comforted, but his eyes didn't leave the large craters of the lunar miracle above us.

"What kind is this? They smell… different," I asked, the crispy smell didn't seem tart, but softer against my nose.

"Parliament," he answered, and I nodded because I had no idea what that meant.

I looked back up at the moon, and he took another drag before he lifted his leg and extinguishing the light of the cigarette on the bottom of his shoe.

Without the soft sounds of his breathing in smoke, quiet fell around us. The crickets chirped quietly and the wind shifted the trees around us in quiet little wisps. The smell of smoke was gone and replaced by the gentle smells of the forests.

"It's so pretty," I mumbled.

He snorted beside me, falling back on the ground and pulling his arms behind his head. I saw his eyes refract from the moon and gasped a little at the shaded green. I thought back to the moss on the rock that was holding my drink.

"Pretty doesn't even cover it." He rolled his eyes and looked back at the moon. "That is the most beautiful thing this world has to offer. Earth can be nice on its own, but the moon is untouched, it's pure and clean and just gorgeous." He sighed at the end.

"I like the sun, too." I whispered absently. "The moon is nice… but it doesn't do much besides control the tide. The sun is so vibrant and good."

"Good?" he asked, looking over at me, our eyes met and I let the words gush out.

"It has an expiration date you know. The moon just drifts away, but the sun is gonna go out one day. It spends its entire life making us all warm, feeding us and nurturing us. If there's a God, I think it would live on the sun."

"Oh yeah?" he murmured. His curious eyes went to the moon and he pursed his lips in thought.

"Yeah," I sighed and fell onto my back on the grass beside him. We were quiet for a few moments, watching the night clouds drift slowly past the moon.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Bella, what's yours?"

"Edward." He lifted an arm from behind his head and held out a hand to me. "Nice to meet 'ya,"

I grabbed onto his hand and shook it. He had large, warm hands and I smiled at him.

Somewhere between talking about stars, and him pointing out the little dipper that you could only see at a certain time of year, and then the North Star, we started to make out.

His hands touched me all over, grabbing my hips and rubbing over my stomach touching my neck. His lips were soft and whenever he sighed into my mouth I shivered and moved closer. He was incessant and I tried to follow along even though I'd never kissed anyone before.

"You taste like brandy," he mumbled absently, rolling on top of me and moving his hands over my ribs.

"My favorite," I whispered hoarsely and pushing myself back up to him.

His large hands moved over my bra and he squeezed roughly before pulling it down and shimmying the clasps undone. He threw it away into the grass and pulled my shirt over my head with a skillful quickness.

His fingers tugged at my nipples and his lips did wonderful things following after them. He bit my nipples and pinched while palming them. My back kept arching and he moved one hand down my back to palm my ass through my jeans.

His mouth worked my chest and his hands dipped into the back pockets of my jeans where he worked them down my legs and I kicked the rest of it off.

His shirt had been discarded and when I looked down my hands were moving the zipper of his pants down. I was momentarily confused before he reached a hand inside his pocket and grabbed a black little square.

The grass tickled my back while he tugged at my panties and threw them out into the field. He was over me quickly, his lips back on mine, kissing me roughly and shoving his tongue into the back of my throat.

I groaned a hoarse sound and pushed my leg over his narrow hip. There was a crinkling noise and he tore the black package with his fingers before I looked down to see him rolling a condom over his considerable dick.

The sobering effect of that was short lived when his fingers pushed at my clit and my head threw itself back into the soft ground. My legs opened wide and Edward took that hint to push into me.

I shrieked through my teeth and when he pushed back out too quickly I heard him mutter, "What the fuck?" before I look down between us.

There was a line of red on the condom and I gasped.

"What the hell?" I panicked.

"You're a virgin?" he asked, then shook his head and glared into the woods.

"Um… y—yeah, but what—"

"Virgins bleed, hasn't anyone ever told you that? Why didn't you tell me?" he asked angrily.

"I didn't think it mattered." Tears sprang up in my eyes and he groaned before pulling out completely.

"Jesus Christ," he muttered, grabbing his pants and shirt.

"Wait, where are you going?" I asked, sitting up.

He turned around, his eyebrows raised and a look of disbelief on his face. "Are you kidding me? You're bleeding! Do you know how sick you could get?"

"B—but,"

"Here," he mumbled, his fingers dipping into the front pocket of my jeans before he pulled out my phone and started tapping the keys. "My number's in here, when you're up for it call me."

"Um, okay…" I mumbled, biting my lip and looking away.

I heard him walking closer to me and then I could feel him in front of me. His fingers touched my chin and he pulled my face to look at him.

"Don't be offended or anything," his face was emotionless, nothing at all comforting about it, but at the same time I was completely comfortable looking at him. "It's not because I don't want to—believe me, I do—just, now isn't the time. And maybe you should sober up some, you know?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"'Kay, see you later, Bella. Don't forget to call," he said while he walked away into the woods.

I pulled up my pants from where he'd dropped them, put my bra and shirt back on, and then limped away oddly giddy for what had just happened. I wasn't rejected, that's all that really registered in my frazzled brain.

I walked back to the party, and then I walked back to the safety of my home before I fell asleep and dreamed about the mossy rock that still had my brandy.

My mind switched hazily from scenes of the dark forest and the moon to the comfort of my room which I was lying cozily in.

I thought about the next few days and how I replayed every word of that evening before ending at him putting his number into my phone and telling me to call him.

For two days I didn't, though. I decided it would be too awkward to ignore him and wait until I saw him at school to deal with this, so Sunday night I called him and when he picked up I cringed and hung up.

My automatic response didn't impress me, so I called again.

"Hello?" his rough voice asked impatiently.

"Um, Edward?" I asked timidly.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Oh, hey, what happened before? Why'd you hang up?"

"I lost connection," I lied.

"Okay." He chuckled quietly at the end.

There was a pause between us and then he spoke quietly to me, like he was afraid I'd hang up again.

"What can I do for you?"

"Well, you told me to call you—so I didn't just want to leave you hanging and everything…"

"Yeah, I got you there." He paused. "Do you want to meet up somewhere? This whole over-the-phone thing isn't my style."

"Sure," I mumbled, but he chuckled.

"How about The Lodge in ten minutes. Can you handle that?"

"Yeah, sure, ten minutes it is."

He hung up first and I got dressed quickly before running past my dad in the kitchen and out to my truck. It started with a loud pop before I backed it out quickly and drove the short distance to the tacky restaurant.

When I walked in, the smiley waitress asked me if I had reservations and I told her I was with someone.

"Are you Bella then?" she asked, her face fell slightly.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Oh, then come this way." She was no longer smiling as she walked me to the back. Edward was sitting there, playing the wrapper to his straw and moving the paper football he'd made out of a napkin around.

His head popped up as soon as we were in hearing distance and his green eyes met mine. He looked different compared to the other night. His hair was lighter than I thought it was, a light red with streaks of bright brown that was a mess on his head.

"Glad you could make it." He smiled.

"You, too." I sat in the little booth and took the menu that the waitress passed to me.

When she walked away, Edward lifted his head to look at me again. "So, how is this going to work?"

A/N: Did you love it, too? I had the scene with them in the field stuck in my head. A couple scenes in this story have been stuck and floating in my mind for months. In the second chapter when Edward passes Bella and tugs on her hair, I just like that. ;)

Don't forget to review!