This chapter gave me much trouble. In the form of re-writing about 10 times. No joke. I think I like what I've ended up with though. So it's slightly worth it. Still direction with this is hazy, but I'm getting there.
Also, one thing. I worry about the dialogue I write and if it actually comes across as being them. So tell me what you think?
Studying her face from across the room he sighs.
"Fine, make fun of me and my serious question."
She rolls her eyes and he tries not to show that he's a little hurt. She doesn't understand how much he really does care for her.
But how would she know?
She thinks that she can read him and sure, at times, he lets things slip through the cracks in his usually reinforced mask... but not this. If she knew how deep everything went… Well, he can't risk it. He can't risk her. So he resigns himself to asking questions which she deems as meaningless.
When really, it's all he has to offer.
It's all he needs to know. As long as she is happy he is doing something right, one point of his life is in order. And if he is honest with himself, he likes that fact.
"Ok, Cal. I am happy. I'm happy."
She smiles. He notices it doesn't reach her eyes.
To read or not to read?
That isn't the question.
The question is… Does he call her out on what he reads?
"You sure?"
"Of course."
She rises from her chair and comes to sit next to you.
"Then why isn't your face?"
"My face… What?"
"Why… isn't your face happy?"
He jabs a finger in the direction of her face and waggles it around accusingly. She gives him a look.
"Alright… Alright. I get the message, love. It's just… Right there…"
His finger goes in the direction of her eyes.
She sighs. She knows that he sees it all. She wonders why she bothers pretending. But if she doesn't then he's allowed to ask questions. Which would lead to the obvious. And while it's all well and good to imagine how it could be between them... Actually getting to the stage where it could be a possibility... It scares her. It scares her that she has no control over her emotions. It terrifies her that when it comes to him, she has everything to lose.
"I answered, Cal. Your turn."
His eyes flicker away from hers and his head turns in the opposite direction. His finger taps on his leg and he realises too late. She's already noticed.
He could lie.
Or he could tell the truth.
Truth or happiness?
For the first time the answer to this question is happiness. Hers to be specific.
"I'm ah... I'm satisfied. Yeah. That."
"That is not an answer."
Truth or happiness? The mask goes on, and he thinks it's possibly the best mask he's ever had.
"I am positively ecstatic."
She looks convinced and for that he is grateful.
But she watches him. She knows. But she also knows that he thinks she doesn't see it. And that suits her fine. He has no idea that she's been able to see through him for years.
He isn't happy. And neither is she.
Unhappy apart. Happy together?
She almost laughs to herself.
As if.
*strolls off into the sunlight* (or moonlight since that's more appropriate right now)