And that is how it's done!

October 2nd, afternoon.

"Okay so I got this great idea."

Sirius looked up at James. "Prongs, all your ideas seem great to you."

"Yeah," Remus said. "But they usually end badly."

"Think of your scar," Peter said at last.

James got a faraway look on his face, but at once shot back to the present. "That was only because the idea was offensive to Evans."

Remus rolled his eyes. "All your ideas are."

"You're a pessimist," James said. "So, Wormtail, Padfoot, may I present plan 'Oh dear'!"

He held up something in his hands. Sirius and Peter both titled their heads.

"What is it?" Sirius asked.

"It looks like nothing with a tiny bit of indifference on top, if you look at it like this," Peter said and narrowed both his eyes so they were almost shut.

James whacked the back of his head. "It's art!"

"It's a black surface with a red dot," Sirius said.

"Don't you see?" James asked, passion burning. "Girls love art! They love to see meaningless things in ugly objects!"

Remus shook his head. "No they don't."

James lowered the piece of 'art'. "They don't?"

"No," Remus said and rolled his eyes. "Different people do. You can't go around and put girls in boxes."

"I'm not putting them into boxes," James muttered.

"Metaphorically."

"Oh." James bit his lower lip. "Okay, but I need a topic I can talk to her about, and seem to know a lot about at the same time! And give her right if we disagree!"

"Uh, uh!" Peter exclaimed. "Mushrooms!"

They all looked at him. Sirius was the first to speak, "What?"

Peter shrugged. "I was just trying to come up with something…"

Remus put his face in his hands and rubbed. "Oh dear, I'm surrounded by idiots."

"I'm not an idiot," James whined.

Remus ignored him. "Okay, fine. But if you want to start a conversation with her, always ask her. Ask her what she likes."

"What's the fun about that?" Sirius mumbled. "The girls shouldn't be the only one getting-"

"Shut up Padfoot," James cut her off. "Please continue, Moony."

Remus smiled. "What I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, was that if you want to have a conversation with her, find something you can also concentrate on and…"

12: Let her know that you're in fact interested in the meaningless ramble she's saying.

"But what if it in fact is meaningless ramble she's saying?"

"Then you're still paying attention!"

"Oh." James frowned. "Okay, Quidditch!"

"Lily isn't interested in Quidditch. Find something she'd like to talk about too!"

"The rights of house elves!" Sirius said.

James looked at him. "What?"

He shrugged. "Women don't like people that suppress creatures and other people."

"When did you get so smart?"

Sirius glared at James. "I've always been this smart."

James nodded. "Okay, I'll give it a try."

"Oh," Peter muttered. "Here's your chance."

"What?" James hissed.

"She's coming into the library."

James spun around and sat down at the table with his back at Lily. "Oh, Merlin. I'm not ready!"

"Be ready then!" Remus hissed.

"Where did she go?"

"Restricted section," Sirius said.

"Get up you chicken!" Remus said and kicked James' leg.

He shot up with a yelp. He glared at Remus before storming off.

"Do you think he'll make it?" Peter muttered with his eyes on James' back.

"No. He'll screw up completely," Sirius said.

"I think he'll do okay," Remus said.

Sirius' eyes glinted. "Wanna come and find out?"

"We shouldn't."

"No, but when do we ever do things we should?" Peter asked, getting up.

"My point, Wormtail," Sirius said and followed.

Remus looked after the other two. Then he got up too. "Oh Merlin, I must be out of my mind," he muttered.

Sirius and Peter had already gathered behind a bookshelf so James was facing them, but Lily had her back at them. She didn't sound annoyed just yet.

"… But I really do think it's interesting," she said.

James held up a book. "Really? This one?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Have you ever looked through some of the spells?"

"They're talking magic?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"It's working," Sirius muttered.

"No it isn't," Peter whispered. "Look, James' eyes are spacing out."

"Oh, no," Remus mumbled. "Paper, Padfoot?"

"I don't have any paper."

"Wormtail?"

Peter found a smaller piece of parchment in his pocket. With a little help from a Refilling Quill Remus wrote a quick note. Holding it up they tried to gain James' attention. Sirius was able to get James' eyes focused on the note.

13: Listen to her, not just look at her.

With a little shake James returned and with attentive eyes he looked at Lily, nodding once in a while and saying 'aha's and 'yeah's. Though slowly it seemed like his attention was fading… and his eyes drifted downwards.

"Oh no, he's not," Sirius whispered, about to laugh.

Feverish Remus turned the parchment and wrote a new note. "His attention?" he whispered and Peter and Sirius started regaining it.

Remus held up the note as soon as they'd made him look again.

14: And look her in the eyes.

James blushed slightly before returning back to the conversation, suddenly going into it with much more enthusiasm than before. Lily didn't seem to have noticed as she was looking into the book after some line.

"And that," Remus whispered and brushed off his hands, "is how it's done!"

"Thinks he's so smart," Sirius muttered as Remus walked off.

"And perfect."

October 5th, morning.

James clasped his hands over his ears as Sirius started on the second verse of his lovely 'I love Saturdays'-song. Peter had already done so with his eyes on Sirius.

"Oh Saturday, Oh Saturday, Of all the days most lovely, Oh Saturday, Oh Saturday, You are me so abovely."

Peter leaned to James. "There's no such word as 'abovely', is there?"

"No," James said flatly, shaking his head slightly.

"Each week you bring to me delights, As sunny days and long nights."

"Won't he ever stop?" Peter groaned.

"I don't think so," James muttered. "He's made like ten verses."

"Oh dear."

"Uhu."

They both looked at Sirius with empty gazes as he began third verse. "Oh Saturday, oh Saturday,

Have fun, relax and play pranks, Oh Saturday, oh Saturday, I feel I need to say thanks."

"My ears hurt," Peter whined and faked breaking down in tears.

"So does mine," James said and followed suit.

Remus sat down next to Sirius, eyeing him. "Is that to the tune of 'Oh Christmas tree'?" he asked.

"Oh yes," James said with a tight smile.

"Doesn't it sound wonderful?" Peter asked with the same tight smile.

"Uh!" James said all of a sudden. "Evans!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Relax."

"Laugh!" James commanded.

"What? Why?"

"She thinks I've said something funny then."

"I'm not doing it!" Remus hissed.

James looked excited around. "What should I do?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Relax, be yourself."

"He shouldn't be himself," Peter said. "Then she'll just run off, screaming."

"Okay, I have another one."

15: Be smart and wise in your actions around her.

"Oh, what's the fun about that?" James muttered.

"Just do it!"

"Fine!"

Lily, Sarah, and Alison walked down the table. When they were about to pass the boys, James leaned back slightly, looking at them.

"Why don't you sit with us today?" he said and sent each girl a smile. "It'd really make the day extraordinary…"

Lily hesitated, but before she could answer Sarah had sat down next to James. Alison followed and at last Lily with an unsure look. Sirius had still not stopped singing and James sent him a glare.

"And good morning," Remus said.

"Morning," Lily said, taking a simple bread to her plate.

James scanned the table around Lily. He eyed a jug of juice which wasn't near him.

"Lily, would you please hand me the pumpkin juice?" he asked.

Lily looked at him with a speechless expression. Then she shook out of it. "Um, yeah, sure," she said and took hold of it. "Here…"

He smiled as he took the jug from her hands. "Thank you."

Remus sent him a smile and gave him thumbs up. James poured the juice into his glass with a smug smile. Meanwhile Sirius started on the sixth verse… and James had suddenly had enough.

"Oh Saturday, oh Saturday, To class we don't have to go, Oh Saturday, oh Saturday, We sing, we-"

And that's when a piece of pie hit him square in the face and slowly fell onto the plate. Sirius looked at the mashed pie on his plate and then up at James.

"Did you just throw pie at me?"

"Maybe," James hissed, a smirk playing his lips.

Sirius shook his head and in a matter of seconds the pie was returned. James ducked, but the food fight had been started. The girls edged away slowly.

"Oh dear," Remus said, taking a hand to his head.

16: Which also means; don't start food fights.

"I can't believe you're that stupid, James!" Remus exclaimed when they boys were on their way back to the Gryffindor tower. "I mean, seriously, food fights?!"

James shrugged slowly. "Sirius started it."

"Didn't," Sirius muttered next to him.

"You sang."

"I do that most Saturdays!"

Remus hit both of them. "This is not about who stared it! It's about James' stupid list! Honestly, James, do you want to fail?"

"No," James sighed. "I don't."

"Then it's time to pull you together, man!"

"No need to be mean," James muttered.

"But he's right, Prongs," Peter said. "You need to work on it. You've only got fourteen points left."

"Which should be enough," James defended.

"Not if you're not working on it," Remus said. "You could have gotten real far today. On first names and all, but no! You had to screw up!"

"Okay, okay! I'll do better from now on!"