Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….. FOURTH CHAP-TAH! Yeah.
Sorry it took a little longer to submit this one. Remember my author's notes for the first chapter when I said the story would get dumber and more random as it progressed? Well, I wrote that with this chapter in mind. Remember, if you have already read the first three chapters, then it's too late to turn back now. And now, the fourth chapter….
Mandy's Addiction
Chapter 4: The Unrelenting Power of Steak Sauce
(quite possibly the greatest chapter title in the history of mankind)
Mandy ran into the dark, deserted street, still furious about the intervention, 'Those stupid cretins.' She thought to herself. 'They don't know anything.' She stopped abruptly in the middle of the road, everything around her was pitch-black and eerily silent.
Mandy realized how late at night it was. She wanted to go into town to get more steak sauce, but she figured most stores would be closed at this hour. Mandy also realized that she didn't have any money either. Not that she had any problem with breaking into a store and stealing steak sauce by force, but she would need some sort of weapon for that. Mandy thought about Grim's trunk in Billy's basement; she was bound to find some sort of supernatural weapon in there.
Mandy turned around and hurried back towards Billy's house. As she got closer, she crouched down low underneath the front windows of the house. Mandy didn't want to be seen by Billy or Grim if they were still inside. She knew she couldn't risk going inside the house again, so instead she crawled along the side of the house, camouflaged in shadow. She noticed the small rectangular windows that lined the bottom of the house and led to the basement. One of the windows was cracked, rusted, and opened slightly; with two kicks Mandy knocked it loose, letting it shatter on the floor and sending an echo throughout the basement.
Mandy looked through the small opening where the window once was, but saw nothing but darkness. She positioned herself as low as possible to the ground and crawled carefully through the opening and into the basement.
She found herself falling for longer than she had anticipated, and she landed hard against the cold basement floor. Laying in pain for a moment, Mandy realized that the distance between the window she fell though and the floor was longer than she had thought. Mandy felt dizzy and weak enough that it seemed as if she wouldn't be able to stand up. Still, Mandy was determined to find Grim's trunk, so she began to crawl along the dusty floor.
The darkness seemed to be all-consuming as Mandy reached blindly out in front of her. She bumped into a shelf on the wall, causing tools and empty cans to fall right on top of her head. She searched the cold, dirty floor for what seemed like hours, but suddenly she collided with a large square object towards the back of the room. Mandy had found what she had been looking for. Despite the fact that her hands were numb and scratched, she hurriedly unlocked the trunk and opened it.
Mandy shielded her eyes as a bright green glow from the trunk illuminated the basement. As her eyes adjusted to the light, Mandy looked around the room, which was not nearly as large as it has appeared earlier. She wasted no more time as she began rummaging through the vast assortment of supernatural items that filled Grim's trunk. Mandy tossed magic artifacts, magic potions, and spell books over her shoulder with indifference. There appeared to be an endless supply of items, each one more horrible and bizarre than the last. Mandy threw a shrunken head behind her as it screamed, followed by a crystal ball, which broke apart as it hit the ground. A large glass bottle laying at the bottom of the trunk suddenly caught her attention. It looked very much like a steak sauce bottle, and by pure instinct Mandy reached for it.
It appeared to be a very old bottle and it was filled with a thick, dark liquid that looked very similar to steak sauce. The paper label that surrounded the bottle was stained yellow by age and covered in dirt and grime, making it almost impossible for Mandy to decipher the lettering on it. To Mandy's amazement, the black lettering on the label that was legible appeared to read, 'steak sauce'.
Mandy finally had another bottle of steak sauce, which she immediately tried to open, desperate to satisfy her craving. The bottle cap was rusted shut however, and though Mandy used all of her remaining strength, she couldn't seem to open it. She was exhausted and her hands ached, but Mandy mustered all her strength for one last pull of the bottle cap, which finally came off, along with the entire top half of the bottle. Mandy threw down the empty half of the bottle and brought the full half closer to her face. She carefully brought her mouth towards the jagged edge of glass and began to chug its contents. The steak sauce was warm and had a strange taste, but as long as it was steak sauce, Mandy didn't really care.
As Mandy finished drinking, she was seized by an overpowering headache accompanied by sharp stomachs pains. This was more than the dizziness and nausea that usually occurred when Mandy drank steak sauce; this was something much worse. Mandy fell to the ground in agony; she had never felt this much pain or been this sick in her life. She started to shake uncontrollable and put her hands over her head as the searing pain increased. Mandy felt as if her entire body was falling apart and it seemed as if every bone in her body was trembling.
She opened her eyes and noticed a small shard of glass on the floor which, to Mandy's confusion, also appeared to be trembling. Mandy put her hand against the ground and felt a strong vibration, realizing that the entire house was shaking, not just her. A small crack appeared in the middle of the basement floor. More cracks began to form and spread along the concrete floor as the original crack started to grow, splitting the ground in half. Mandy crawled towards the wall as a gigantic crater appeared where the basement floor used to be.
Fire and bright rays of light suddenly erupted from the crater as if the underworld itself was being unleashed. The heat was almost unbearable and Mandy covered her face as the fire reached the ceiling, completely disintegrating it. A immense beam of green energy emitted from the crater and shot towards the roof, which was instantly destroyed. Mandy watched in fear and amazement as ghostly spirits emerged from the flames and ascended into the night sky as they shrieked wildly. Small winged creatures appeared over the crater as the flames died down. They hovered above the crater, which was still glowing red; they looked like demons of some sort. The creatures had sharp claws, horns, and tails that looked like the stinger of a scorpion (although Mandy couldn't make out their exact appearance). As they floated closer, Mandy got a better look at the creatures and her expression changed from fearful to perplexed.
The creatures weren't nearly as threatening from close up: they had large, round noses and small, beady eyes. They reminded Mandy of Billy more than anything else. Many of them looked bored or uninterested in what they were doing, and Mandy noticed a number of them were chubby or fat. A larger, somewhat more intimating demon appeared in front of the others. He was colored red, but the tip of his tail and his twisted horns were black.
"Who has summoned the unrelenting power of steak sauce and unleashed it upon humanity?" He said in a loud, booming voice. He had a thick Scottish accent (not sure why).
If Mandy were her normal self, and not drunk on steak sauce, she probably would have said that 'the Unrelenting Power of Steak Sauce' was the stupidest thing that she's ever heard. Unfortunately, Mandy was drunk on steak sauce, so she just stared idiotically at the demon with her eyes only half-opened.
The demon stared back at Mandy for a moment. This wasn't the dramatic entrance he had hoped for.
"I said… Who has summoned the unrelenting power of steak sauce and unleashed it upon humanity?" His voice was still loud, but not as menacing as before.
Mandy continued to stare at the demon with that same sedated look and she started to drool.
The demon covered his face with his claws and shook his head, "Look lass, do want to use the power of the steak sauce or not?" His tone had changed completely.
Mandy seemed to wake from her stupor and she finally spoke, "What is the Unrelenting Power of Steak Sauce?" Mandy's voice was still shaky as she asked the question.
"Why, it's only one of the most sinister and unstoppable forces in the universe!" The demon said with pride in his voice. "We are the steak sauce demons, the servants of the almighty power of steak sauce."
Mandy said nothing as she stared at the demon. She was starting to become interested in this 'power of the steak sauce', but even she thought that things were starting to get really freaking weird.
"So, what do you say? Do you think you're worthy enough to control this power?" The demon asked as he extended his hand, which had long black claws on it.
Mandy looked down at the ground for a moment, then she looked up at the demon. She stood up, extended her own hand forward and grasped the demon's hand.
"Gooood, then lets not waste anymore time." The demon said as he grinned, exposing his sharp yellow teeth.
Billy and Grim stood in front of a small supermarket towards the center of town, hoping to stop Mandy from buying more steak sauce.
"Alright Billy, this has to go better than that intervention did earlier." Grim said as looked to see if Mandy was nearby. "We have to reason with Mandy, but be firm at the same time. Do you remember what I told you to do when Mandy comes?"
Billy was facing the other direction and didn't hear anything Grim had said.
Grim appeared as if he were about to yell at Billy, but stopped as he noticed a massive beam of light ascend into the sky, casting a green glow on the entire town and catching the attention of many people on the street. The beam of light appeared to be coming from Billy's house, off in the distance.
"Ahhh man, how can everything cool happens at my house when I'm not there… Billy said in a sad voice.
"Yeah, I wish you had been in your house when that beam of energy shot through it too." Grim said with a sigh.
"What'd you say Grim?" Billy asked as he looked up at his friend.
"Nothing, Billy. Just talking to myself." Grim said in a low voice as he watched the beam of light, which was already reaching higher into the night sky.
The beam finally stopped it ascension, already thousands of feet in the air. Grim watched with a curious expression as dark-red clouds began to form where the beam of light collided with the sky. Only a few materialized at first, but the grouping of clouds appeared rapidly and began to moved above the town. The mound of clouds created a veil over the entire night sky, blocking out the pale blue light from the moon and stars and casting a red-tinted shadow over the entire town.
"That's funny, I've never seen clouds do that before." Grim muttered as he and Billy stared up at the strange red clouds.
Roars of thunder could be heard and suddenly red lightening flashed across the sky, briefly illuminating the town in red light. The amount of lightening intensified until a lightening storm occurred overhead. Billy and Grim watched in awe as almost every tall building and object was struck by a bolt of the red lightening. The power for the entire town went out and every single light turned off. The lightening storm ended, and the town was consumed by darkness, lit up only by the occasional flash of red lightening.
"What's going on, Grim!" Billy asked anxiously, already starting to feel afraid.
Grim didn't answer and wouldn't of had the time to anyway as an earthquake shook the darkened town. Billy grabbed on to Grim's cloak as the ground trembled. Grim looked up to see a large stone pillar slowly rise out of the ground in the center of town. It continued to rise until it was at least three times as high as the tallest building in Endsville. Grim touched the tip of his scythe, which made the blade glow brightly and allowed Grim to get a better view of the pillar through the darkness.
Grim's eye sockets widened as he realized that the towering stone pillar was actually a throne, and that Mandy appeared to be sitting on top of it, looking down at all of Endsville. Grim watched as a grouping of black clouds steadily approached the throne. As it came closer, it didn't appear to be a grouping of clouds at all, but instead it looked more like a horde of giant bats.
"No… it can't be!" Grim cried, hoping that his mind was just playing tricks on him.
"What's happening, Grim!" Billy asked again. He knew if Grim looked a little scared, then he should be scared out of his mind.
"Mandy must have…unleashed the steak sauce demons!" Grim exclaimed with dread. He found all of this almost unbelievable.
Billy's expression changed and he seemed more confused than frightened, "Steak sauce demons? I've never heard of them before…" He said, not entirely sure why Grim was so afraid of 'steak sauce demons'.
"Don't be an idiot, Billy! Every condiment has its own demon servants, everybody knows that!" Grim yelled as Billy sadly lowered his head.
A Small ball of orange light appeared out of the red clouds above and started to fall rapidly towards the town. As it plummeted closer, it grew in size to form a large fireball, which now looked as if it were coming straight for Billy and Grim. They had no time to react as the fireball smashed into the store in front of them. Billy and Grim were thrown to the ground by the force of the explosion as ash and debris fell all around them. Screams could be heard as the steak sauce demons swooped down on the unsuspecting town.
Grim watched as a pack of demons descended upon the burning wreckage of the supermarket behind him and started to pull out stack sauce bottles from the rubble. They soared back into the air again, each one holding a steak sauce bottle as they flew towards Mandy's throne.
More fireballs and rained down from the sky, each one colliding with a store or market where steak sauce would be found. In a matter of minutes Endsville lay in ruins as the fire storm continued, setting almost every single building ablaze. Flaming debris and wrecked vehicles were propelled into the air by the countless explosions of fire as the townspeople tried to escape the demons that circled above.
A small demon landed in front of Bill and Grim and began to growl aggressively as it sliced in the air with its claws.
"Hey, get out of here…" Grim said in a low voice as he gently kicked the demon, sending it flying in the other direction as it whined like a dog.
Grim noticed that the fire had encircled the entire street that he and Billy were standing on, blocking their escape. Realizing they needed to find cover, Grim grabbed Billy and threw him under a wrecked, overturned car on the street. Grim crawled underneath the car himself as Billy sat there with a distressed look on his face.
"Grim, what did you say about Mandy releasing those demons?" Billy was worried about Mandy and whether or not she was safe.
Grim said nothing for a moment as he tried to ignore the disturbing noises coming from above the car, "Mandy has unleashed the Unrelenting Power of Steak Sauce, one of the most terrible and destructive powers in existence." Grim explained. "Now Mandy has the ability to enslave all of mankind (Grim couldn't help himself from chuckling as he said that), not to mention the fact that she'll have an unlimited supply of steak sauce to drink."
"But Grim, Mandy is the most loving, kind and considerate person I know! Why would she ever want to take over the world?" Billy asked as tears welled up in his eyes.
Grim stared at Billy for a good five minutes before he spoke, "Not much occurs to you, does it Billy…"
A familiar voice could be heard above the sounds of destruction outside, and Billy and Grim looked out from under the car to see Irwin running frantically towards the giant throne in the distance. He seemed to be ignoring the carnage around him as he jumped over flaming debris and ducked as steak sauce demons lunged at him from overhead. He was carrying what looked like a steak sauce bottle as he screamed at the top of lungs:
"Look Mandy, I got some steak sauce, yo! I can be cool too! Now we can be together FOREVER!" Irwin yelled as he opened up the bottle. He began to drink the steak sauce while he continued running, but he started to choke immediately and steak sauce came out his nose. He tripped and fell, choking and coughing while he rolled on the ground in pain. A immensely fat steak sauce demon slowly flew above the Irwin, carrying a wrecked pickup truck with its claws. Irwin continued to gasp for air as the demon dropped the truck on him.
"….I think…I broke my spine…yo…." Irwin groaned from underneath the smashed vehicle.
"What a dork..." Grim murmured as the gigantic bonfire spread through the streets.
Mandy sat on her massive throne while demons piled full bottles of steak sauce around her, forming a shrine. Mandy drank greedily from one of the bottles, emptied it in a matter of seconds, and threw it onto of pile of empty bottles behind her, which was steadily growing in size. She surveyed the town of Endsville below, which was now consumed by the inferno caused by the fire storm. She watched as hordes of demons flew over the city, destroying everything they could find.
The first step of Mandy's plan to conquer the world was already complete and all she did was sit back and relax. Mandy reached for another bottle as a bolt as lightening illuminated the throne for a moment. A evil grin came across Mandy's face as she started to drink.
Wow… that chapter was definitely not fun to write. Now that I think about it, in some ways this is one of the more serious chapters, what with Endsville being destroyed and all (its still kind of stupid though, especially when you consider the steak sauce demon part). The reason I decided to write a chapter like this was simply because I felt I needed to add some kind of supernatural element to the story. Most GA episodes have something like that in them. I had no idea what to do with the story after the intervention part, so I wanted something outrageous and unexpected to happen. This chapter was hard to write because it had so little dialogue and it was frustrating trying to describe everything that was going on. So, I'm not entirely happy with it, but oh well. Just so you know, I realize that this story is rated K, so let me explain this in all caps:
NOBODY DIED WHEN ENDSVILLE CAUGHT FIRE AND ALL THE DEMONS DESTROYED EVERTHING. THEY ALL ESCAPED OR FOUND SHELTER. Yep, that's what happened. Seriously. Anyways, special thanks to Catmedium for pointing out the fusedtogether thing. I don't know why it does that sometimes, but it really pisses me off. I'll try and make sure it doesn't happen again, but it will probably happen anyway. And of course, thanks to everyone else for reading and reviewing! (does anyone actually read these author's notes?)