Ladies and gentleman, I give you (cue drumroll) the fourth chapter! (cue applause and cheering) Thank you, thank you, I know. Seriously though, thank you guys for all the follows and favorites and reviews. It's awesome, you guys all rock. On a more unpleasant note, sorry this came out so late. I know it's still on a Sunday, but it's 9 o'clock PM here and that's late for me, especially when it comes to publishing a chapter. So sorry :(
Thanks to my amazing beta, Lissa, for giving me little suggestions that only made this chapter better and caught the little mistakes that would have made it worse. Also, some more thanks to Tia, who gave me inspiration for the clothing bit and the bands mentioned.
S/O to Confuzed-Anime-Fan, who took a stand and defended Levy's ass. I, too, agree that her derrière is quite spectacular (Gajeel just hasn't realized it yet).
On a side note, Happy Mother's Day!
Disclaimer: I don't own. Otherwise, the guilds I mention later on in this story would totally be bands.
Now, on to the story!
'Do something!' Lil glared at him. 'She's getting my fur wet!'
He rolled his eyes and looked around. The only real clothes he owned were on his back, and any other items wouldn't be enough to cover her.
'Not that there's much to cover, anyway,' he thought to himself. It would figure that he'd get stuck with the one amnesiac, half-naked woman without any breasts in the world. Such was his life.
Maybe he could bum some clothes off a neighbor. Did he have any female neighbors left?
Kelly got pregnant again and moved in with her newest boyfriend, but her "relationships" never lasted long. Still, it would be another week before she was back. He couldn't wait that long.
Miranda was with her favorite client in Long Island at the moment, since her client's wife was away for the weekend.
Vivian didn't wear woman's clothing, and she lived too far away.
Jane… no, Jane got stabbed last week.
Maybe Tony would lend him some clothing. Tony only needed his dresses two days out of the week anyway, since the cross-dressing club was only open on Mondays and Fridays. Then again, Tony wore a size twelve dress size (he'd been bitching about it a few weeks ago, and how he needed to 'watch his shape') and the girl on his bed looked like she wore a size negative.
But that only left… goddammit. He nearly groaned out loud. That only left Porlyuscia, and he hated to bother her for anything. Old witch was more likely to stab him than help him. She was a skinny old witch, however, and might have some old clothes that could fit the girl.
Giving in to the inevitable, he walked over to the sink and reached behind it, biting his lip in concentration. His hand was too big to fit, and he needed to find a new hiding place, but that would have to wait. After a little maneuvering and a bit (a lot) of cursing, he drew out the knife triumphantly. It was an old switchblade, one of his first. Tried and true, albeit a little rusty.
He shoved it in his back pocket and walked over to her. "Hey," he snapped. She squeaked and peeked up at him from Lily's fur. "I'll be right back." He turned away, then paused. "Don't go anywhere," He added as an afterthought. It wasn't like she could, but still. Better safe than sorry.
"Wait!" She called out as he neared the door. "Wh-where are you going?" Her voice was halting and timid.
"Out." He reached for the door again.
"Out where?" She called after him. Her voice was less hesitant this time.
"Outside." He spoke through clenched teeth.
"Well obviously," Sarcasm colored her voice. "But I was referring to your destination, not location." A small smile stole over her face.
"Big words for somebody who can't remember their own name." Her smile dropped. There was a twinge of guilt at that, but he shoved it away.
"You don't have to be so mean." Her head was slowly lowering itself back to its hiding place behind Lily's fur.
"And you don't have to be so curious. I'm going out, and I'll be back soon. Stay here, don't move, and try not to get into anything." He waited until she nodded, and then left.
And for the first time in as long as he could remember, he locked the door.
It was pitch black outside, and only the dim light of the streetlamps broke the darkness at random intervals. He counted the alleys in his head, turning left at the eighth opening and walking until he came to a brick wall at the end. Jumping up, he grabbed the edge and hoisted his body on top of it.
He huffed and brushed his clothes off, looking upwards. Not a star to be seen in this dump, only smog and ash. A shame, really.
A trash can fell over and a kid screeched in response, rousing Gajeel out of his musings. Shaking himself, he walked along the top of the wall carefully, stepping around crumbling bricks and large cracks. He followed the wall almost a block, hands stuffed in his pockets. The comforting weight of his blade was pressed firmly against his back.
When it came time, he stopped and looked around, making sure there was no one to follow him. If someone else figured out how to get into Porlyuscia's house because of him, she was sure to tear his skin off with her bare hands. The woman had a home like a military base, complete with barred windows and a fake front door.
Jumping up, he reached blindly into the shadows, repeating the process until his hands closed over a metal bar. He grinned triumphantly and let gravity pull both him and the ladder down.
Ignoring the metal clangs and shrieks, he pulled it down until it was level with his feet. Then, he climbed. He climbed until he reached a set of heavy bars that covered a boarded up window. After wedging his feet into the bars and grabbing one for a more secure hold, he used the other hand to pull the ladder up.
Then, he waited. The old woman already knew he was here, she knew whenever someone can within twenty feet of her home. Now he just had to wait until she decided whether or not to let him in.
Twenty minutes later, and he finally saw the boards come down from behind the window. Pale hands came into view and unlocked the window, pushing the pane up. She also unlocked the bars, but still kept them in place, effectively keeping him trapped outside clutching her window.
Pink hair came into view, along with a hard eyes and a formidable scowl.
"What do you want?" She snarled at him.
"Can I come in?" He probably looked ridiculous, hanging onto her window like a monkey.
"Depends. What do you want?"
He growled in annoyance and answered reluctantly. "Not that's it's anyhat'd in annoyance and answered reluctantly. " of yer damn business, but I need some clothes." A pause, and then, "Women's clothes."
She sniffed at him disdainfully. "I always figured there was something off with you. If you want to start cross-dressing, I'm sure Tony can-"
"Not for me!" He snapped at her. This woman… "It's for… a friend."
One eyebrow quirked upward. "You don't have friends."
"I came here for some clothes, not an inquisition. Are you going to help or not?" Cramps were starting to form from all this crouching.
"I suppose so." Her lips pursed into a thoughtful frown, but she stepped away from the bars and allowed him to push them inwards. As soon as they were inside her apartment he dropped from them, grateful. When he stood up he stretched his back, flexing his hands above his head.
"Thanks," he grunted.
She made a 'hm' sound and ushered him into the kitchen.
"Here." His hand flew up just in time to catch the apple that was thrown at his head. "Eat something healthy."
"Don't need your charity." He mumbled, but still took a bite. Not eating it might offend her, and that was never a good idea.
"Stop being obstinate." She eyed his form. "You look as raggedy as that mangy animal you saw fit to take in." A 'tsk-ing' sound came from her.
"Lily's not mangy!" He protested.
"It's probably given you fleas and rabies." A sneer curled her lip. "I'll have to disinfect in here after you leave."
He took another bite and spoke through the bits of food rolling around. "Gee, you really know how to make a guy feel welcome." Bits of the apple flew out, and he smiled to himself when he saw her flinch in disgust.
"It's a gift." She glared at him. "Wait here." He nodded while she briskly walked out and down the hall, towards the direction of her bedroom. As he ate the apple, he could hear her rummaging around.
A bunch of grapes caught his eye, and after he polished off the apple he grabbed those and started in. They were red, not green, but he supposed he'd have to make due. After these, he could grab those graham crackers he saw near the toaster.
"Here." She came back in with a load of clothing and unceremoniously dumped it all on the table. "What size do you need?"
"Small."
Another glare and silent snarl.
"What? She's tiny, about yea high," He held up his hands around his stomach area, "and around yea wide." His hands moved until they were about a foot apart.
"Hm." She still sounded like she didn't believe him, but let the issue drop. "Fine, then how about…" One hand reached into the pile and pulled an article out. "This?"
It was a long, red dress with white buttons down the middle.
"It might work." Gnawing his lip in thought, he tilted his head. "Maybe if I ripped it in half, or-"
"Certainly not!" She interrupted him, offended. "Good grief, if she's really that small…" Three more pieces were pulled out.
One was a t-shirt with the band Blue Pegasus on the front, with neon paint splattered all over it and signatures scrawled across the back.
"You sure?" It would fit his girl all right, but it looked like it was vintage, from when the band first came out. It even had Ichiya on it, and he had retired long ago.
"Yes. It's not dignified to wear such clothing, and I wish to erase every memory of that band from my mind. It's become a disgrace to the music industry."
Gajeel rolled his eyes, but accepted the shirt nonetheless.
The second piece of clothing looked like it had come straight out of Woodstock. It was a short tie-dye dress, complete with a fringe at the bottom.
"Hold on, I think there's a vest that goes with that." She dug through the pile and smiled fondly when she found it, holding it up for his inspection.
It was a tan vest, with beads and patches all over it. There was even a stitched happy face at the bottom.
"What, no head-scarf or sunglasses?"
"Unfortunately, no." Ignoring his sarcasm, she handed over the third piece.
It was some sort of horrendous blend of shirt and shorts, all in one. He looked at it in horror. "The fuck is this?"
"Language!" She reprimanded him. "And it's called a jumper. It was quite in fashion when I was young."
"How the hell do you get in it?" The bottom consisted of jean shorts, but cut off abruptly to give way to a tank top with a bright peacock design on it. He looked over it, but found no zipper or buttons.
She snatched it from him and glared. "Watch carefully." After laying it over a chair, she held up the shirt portion for him to see. "See these?" The straps of the tank top were held out, and she nodded towards… oh. There were buckles at the top. "You undo these, and then pull it on as you would a pair of pants, except you keep pulling until it covers your entire body. Then, you just re-buckle these."
"One more question."
"What now?"
"How did you fit into this?" He laughed and then yelped when she slapped him upside the head.
"Stop sassing me."
The side of his head throbbed and he winced regretfully. He really should learn to stop antagonizing her- his body couldn't take much more of this abuse.
She went back to the pile, and ten minutes later he was ready to head back. They'd found a yellow polka dot bikini top (though no bottoms), a pair of blue shorts with white seahorses emblazoned on them, another vest (this one a white crochet covered in sparkles), and a second band t-shirt (this one featured Quatro Cerberus, a band so old even he couldn't identify it).
They were walking back towards the window, all the clothes safely encased in a plastic bag, when he noticed the mess of papers scattered over her living room. Unusual, since her home was usually spotless.
"Trouble at work?" It was the only explanation he could think of.
"Just a bit, though I suppose we should have expected it. We've come thus far without any complications, there was bound to be trouble at some point or another."
"True enough." He shuddered. "Still don't see how you can work in that place."
"Well, someone has to."
And with that, she closed the window behind him and he headed home.
Still really short, I know, and I'm sorry. Like I've said before, I'll try to start making the chapters longer. (Really, I will try.)
Review, review, REVIEW and you'll get chocolate-covered strawberries! (Or bananas, if that's your thing.)
Some things for this chapter:
#1: The interaction between Levy and Gajeel was short, but I hope her real personality is starting to come through to you.
#2: I view Porlyuscia as a sort of paranoid, harsher Professor Minerva McGonagall type character. If that bugs you or makes her seem OOC, sorry.
#3: Any guesses as to where she works? C'mon, be creative, inspire me!