Like you gotta hear this again? I don't own this, not sure who does anymore, but it ain't me.
And Yet, Even More Creative Means.
Beast.
Dr. Henry McCoy is a very smart man, and often times, very bored with his intellectually stunted and often drunk team mates. Upon noticing that some force, probably a drunk Jean, ok, most positively a drunk Jean as there is a mound of cans and figure skating on and the fact she's in the kitchen making pie and laughing insanely about little people, had knocked Logan out for the count, Beast got an idea. He picked Logan's passed out form, really quite heavy for someone his size and asks Jean to keep him knocked out, which of course she only wanted to "pet the puppy". Since she's the closest thing to smart in this house when she's not spilling lemons on the floor, tipping up a bottle of Cuervo and then falling on said lemons, he obliged. Jean however did put Logan back to sleep so that the baby wouldn't fuss, whatever that meant, and Beast headed to his lab. Upon reaching his lab, he cleaned and sterilized Logan's firm, hairy backside as he began to cut away. He knew that the cleaning and sterilizing was a waste of time, as Logan's healing factor would have taken care of both the infections and the missing rear. He'd done this before and it's always funny watching Logan complain something doesn't feel right as he scratches himself the rest of the night. This time, he had plans for the purloined glutei's.
Logan
Logan, James, Patch, Wolverine, Weapon X, Jimmie, Death, Wolvie and by Jean, "Oh Shit! Oh Damn!" Is smarter than he let on, even though he couldn't prove that the hairy pair of cheeks left in Rouges bed and later the kitchen counter were his, he knew is butt itches. He knew Gambit owed him over a hockey game and he knew something wasn't right with Scott the way he was using his kids as human shields and smelled like pork and beans, but everybody knew that. He'd already picked Jean up and took her home, had angry redhead sex, as well had cleaned up the mess in the common room. He couldn't remember drinking this much, but was damn glad to have a healing factor, and for some reason wanted to punch the next person who sounded southern, which as luck would have it, was Gambit eating Jean's drunk pie. "Dis not so bad! Your wife should get stupid drunk mo' often!" Gambit said as Wolverine hauled off and BAM! Now Gambit was passed out on the floor as Logan left a marker by his prone body. He thought the butt cheeks were a funny idea, so funny that when he told people to "Kiss his hairy ass" he could hand it over to them. So he decided to see if he could do it himself. He thought Rouge was going shopping with Storm, so her shower, the biggest one on this floor would do well, but he wasn't awake when she had touched Beast. She wasn't going anywhere that unshaved. Upon reaching her room, he headed to her shower and proceeded to see whether he could cut it off, which proved to be horrifically painful. He didn't get far before Rouge walked in her bathroom seeing Logan in that kind of position. "I knew it!" she shrieked as Beast walked by and bounded off quietly and Logan was handed is ass twice. The pair from the counter and the one still attached.
Morel of the story, don't eat pie that doesn't belong to you.