Author's note: Sorachi Hideaki owns Gintama. This story is unbetaed and might NOT BE THE FULL VERSION due to site restrictions. My tumblr / wordpress / livejournal / AO3 has the full chapters but there will be delays in uploading there. Please review! I'd love more input on this story. I'm not actually in the mood to write – socializing killed my mood to the point of literal nausea. But I swore to finish this chapter.
Chapter Four: Baby Come Back
He shut his eyes to erase the image of her. He was in hell. Or he was headed there.
Fingers smoothed his chest, a harsh and desperate touch once in a while. They moved to his abdomen and transformed into a sweet, cool breeze before continuing their needy tracings.
An abrupt movement from her made him look. He groaned. This was wrong and very typical of asshole behavior…
But she was delightful and stimulating. She always made him feel good. With great timing too, since he was dying for some action lately.
The view from his end was strikingly awesome. His conscience was fighting but he was in deep shit from the beginning. A man like him had his limits. He was only human. Somehow, she just knew how to work around him, his needs and his lazy attitude.
She was noisy – very, very noisy. Earsplitting. Piercing. He knew that granny Otose and Kagura, hell, even Tama, Catherine and everyone else who lived within five meters of his space, would be asking him a lot of questions in the morning. There was no doubt of his involvement in this raucousness as he could hear his own name every three seconds.
There it was again, that traitorous feeling that rushed across his stomach. It made him quiver – a good kind of quake that rung bells of alarm in his own aching head.
Gintoki took a deep breath, stifling another sound from his throat. This time, he couldn't turn away anymore. The sight of her was so invigorating. His insides were pumped up, energized – even as he just lay there and let her do all the work. She was enjoying herself too much, screaming with her eyes shut, gasping as sweat formed throughout her body, and shoving against him with a tempo which he didn't even bother to match.
He studied her as he silently begged for her to open her eyes. He wanted to see their expression, their depth. It was in them that he knew he would see her reasons for coming here.
But she kept them tightly closed. Only her whimpers and his name gliding from her lips made him sure that she had turned up for him.
She looked so unrestrained right now, shameless even. Her legs were spread wide apart to their limit and her knees straight as she sprung up and down on top of him. The vigorous bounces of her breasts as they shone with perspiration were mesmerizing to him. Her nipples were stiff and pert, practically begging for his strokes.
So he touched them and rubbed them, knowing that he was driving her insane. He loved the contrast of the soft, large mounds with smaller yet hard tips…
Gintoki growled with frustration. Breasts, beautiful and sexy ones, reminded him of Tsukuyo. A wave of regret hit him. It was too late to turn back… But he thought of her eyes and her lips and those breasts – the most fantastic ones he had ever experienced. Her face, a promise of the right kind of love coming from the heart, not from his balls.
He shook his head but now was determined to stop his infidelity. His hands slipped downwards, still feeling the softness of her body, and he rested them on her hips, intending to stop her and push her away.
But at that right moment, she cried out his name and increased her pace, taking him deeper inside her. She was in charge, dictating their motions and keeping his desire on constant fire. He loved every single thing she was doing and Gintoki soon found himself thrusting against her, yelling his own demands, and guiding her movements with his hands.
When he found his release, he tightened his grip on her and focused his relief on that rubber barrier between them.
She moved away when he was done, turning her back to him. He could still hear her gasps and could see her body tremble as she reached into her bag to fish for her hairbrush. She arranged her hair with it and he watched as she silently put the strands in place and replaced the brush in her bag.
His own throat itched to say something but his brain failed.
Hell, he failed this entire night. Why had he allowed himself to get into this situation? He was fucked. At least Zura knew what he wanted. At least Sakamoto wasn't in deep trouble like he was. And those two were dumbasses. Now he was one too, the worst even.
She coughed and started to stand but he dragged her back to him, keeping her on his lap. He knew he was inviting more trouble but he was not going to let her keep playing games with him. Especially not when he was acting like a vulnerable little shit.
"Where do you think you're going?" The anger was now palpable, he could feel himself almost losing control.
"Leaving. This was all I wanted… I won't be back." She moved to get off him but he pulled her back against him with enough force to rattle her.
"Liar. You'll be back. We both know it." They struggled for a while but he won.
"Ah!" She moaned when he accidentally rubbed against her. He felt it too, the current of pleasure that emerged from their connection. "No… I've decided it's the last. I know it's over…"
"If that's the case, then why did you come here?"
"I needed this. I won't be back," she repeated.
"I remember you telling me to get the fuck out from that restaurant. What is this game you're playing, huh Sacchan? It's not going to work on me."
"No games. I told you, I agree that it's over-"
"Right. We break up, you refuse to be friends or have any kind of contact with me, you see my face once and tell me to get the fuck out, and now you're suddenly in my room in the middle of the night, fucking me with reckless abandon one minute then the next you're out of here. Now, what kind of bullshit is that?"
She didn't answer.
He stared at the back of her head, seeing nothing. He wanted to twist her around to finally understand what this was about but he was scared. The things that she might say terrified him because they would complicate things. He wanted everything to be simple. He wanted to be back in Tsukuyo's arms.
"Sacchan, it was great while it lasted. It really was. I thought that I had made things clear then. You never really said anything after. So I thought…"
She sighed and leaned back, tilting her head to finally look at him. "You should have just let me leave without asking too many questions." Her eyes were wide but it was too dark in the room to see her expression. Holding their gaze, she started to move, rubbing her dampness on his length. She looked so desirable as she lifted her arms around his neck, flaunting her breasts, while her hips rocked against him.
"No," he said. His hands held her waist but he could only revel in her heedless appearance.
"Tell me why not… Gin-san… Gin-san, I'm here tonight because I miss you so much."
Her admission made him speechless. But the pressure of her hips against him made him groan.
"When you came into the shop that day," her voice was breathy and her movements ceaseless, "I was really happy that you came to see me, Gin-san. But it turned out you only wanted a free meal and you didn't even want to be there. Katsura-san must have talked you into it."
"I…" Gintoki was still at a loss for words.
"I tried to be angry with you but all I could think about was how much I miss you- Wait, Gin-san!" She bent forward and took a packet from her bag, opening it before handing it to him. He hastily put on the condom and entered her from behind.
They moved slowly this time, like they did when they used to talk. She still felt wonderful, tightening around him when he tweaked her nipples. "Cute," he snickered.
"I won't bother you again after this. I just needed you tonight."
"We shouldn't be doing this. Sacchan, I-"
"You're right... I just needed this for the last time…"
"What if you decide on another night that you need me again?"
"I won't need you." She shut her eyes, trembling, increasing her pace. "Gin-san, I'll forget about you. I- I have a lot of men coming after me, you know. They want me… They want to be with me. I thought I couldn't look at anyone but you."
"You have bad luck with men," he reminded her.
"That's true." She gasped when he circled his hips. "But you aren't the bad kind, you're the only blessing I've ever had."
"No, I don't think we've been good together."
"There's one man, he seemed so dangerous and awful but… he reminds me of you. Not in looks, but in the meaning I see when I stare into his eyes. I feel like you've gone through the same things-"
"Then he's bad news."
"No. He's perfect. But even so, even if it does not end well, I don't care. I'll find someone, the right man for me, eventually."
"Just stop it already. Stop saying these things." He had become a bit rough, annoyed with her again. "No matter what you say, I won't take you back." He pushed her against the mattress, fucking her hard until they both came.
He collapsed on top of her, fuming, hating her for getting him into this situation. She was as uncontrollable and as exasperating as ever. There was no salvation for him after this.
"It's because of Tsukuyo, isn't it?" Her voice was soft but he heard every word and every bitter tone that accompanied it.
Gintoki drew back, astonished, and he could only gape as she sat up, looking at him with resentment and offence. "What did you say?" Sacchan was not supposed to know anything regarding Tsukuyo. How did she? Did someone tell her? He never breathed a word about her nor Tsukuyo's name to her.
"Tsukuyo," she said flatly. "I've known for a while. Your new girlfriend. Your apparent true love. I don't know what it is that you're looking for in a woman… But I'm telling you, it's not her."
He laughed this time. "Shut up, Sacchan. You don't even know her."
"Don't I? Towards the end of our relationship, I've always wondered why you were changing towards me. And that word – Tsukuyo – it was a name after all… She's in your dreams. I always wondered why you spoke that word in your sleep… And even when, even when we made love then, you had to hurt me and piss me off by whispering her name." She slapped him. "You fucking bastard! You couldn't even be honest with me…" She stood up and dressed while she cried.
He could only stare at her in awe of her words.
"She's not even pretty! I see nothing special in her dull, blonde hair and her fake-looking purple eyes. Her face is scarred, for crying out loud. SHE'S A SCARFACE!"
Gintoki's brain snapped and he hit her. He sent her flying to the edge of the room, hitting the wall with a bang. She cried out in pain, making him regret what he had done. "Sacchan, I'm-" he said as he approached her.
But she threw her bag at him and screamed, "DON'T YOU DARE APOLOGIZE TO ME! I never lied to you, you're the one who always did… I never thought you would treat me this way. You're right, I have the worst luck with men. And you, you're the one who promised to take care of me but for some- some prostitute whom you decided to leave me for, you treat me like garbage!"
"SHUT UP, SACCHAN!"
"NO, I WON'T SHUT UP! I WON'T EVER SHUT UP! Because I don't deserve everything you've done. And for all the shit that comes upon me, I hope you'd feel responsible."
"You-"
"I've been to Yoshiwara, you know." Her revelations were becoming more and more astounding. "Call me whatever you want, even a stalker, because I followed you there lots of times. And I saw you with her… even when you try to enjoy fucking her, groping her overly large breasts-"
"FUCK YOU!"
"Maybe that's why you like her so much too. But it's so obvious, she's holding you back! I know you, and she's too uptight and too self-conscious for you. Your patience can't handle her, Gintoki Sakata! She can't take care of you the way you need to be. Maybe you want to have this all-consuming, out-of-this-world and destiny kind of love with her but let me tell you, it's never going to happen!"
"That's enough!"
"Now, she's become even more interesting because she's got some fight in her, having you train her for some future battle she's planning to undertake. Such promise! I bet you love her even more after that! After all, I was such a failure with your sword training sessions. Oh, how wonderful love is!"
She ran outside before he could scream the foulest profanities at her.
"I'm sorry," he said as he rushed to the counter, overtaking the long line of customers. His hands were full of roses and candies – which he hoped she would let him eat later – and he even put on a suit. She liked it when he did "romantic" things in public, especially when people were there to see him being sweet to her.
His plan didn't turn out as he liked since she merely gave him a blank stare and told him to fall in line. Women were giggling and men were snickering. He hated this, the way she made him grovel, but he genuinely felt bad, especially with the way things were going lately.
Almost an hour later – she must have taken her time on purpose, he finally reached the counter. He never begged, except for chocolates and sex, but he supposed that she should also be an exception because she was his girlfriend.
"Are you dining in or ordering for take-out?"
"I suppose… Dining in."
"Find a table please, a waitress will take your order there."
"I see." He stared at her a while then took a seat at his usual place.
He thought she'd send someone else to deal with him but she surprised him by bringing him some of his favorite parfait and pudding. She also gave him a small smile then returned to the counter.
It was still waaaaay less than her expected reaction but at least she had finally acknowledged him. He had to get the guilt off his shoulders. Being the bad guy was not making himself proud.
The excitement he felt as she let him take her home was indescribable. He drove his motorcycle slower than necessary and took detours to prolong the ride. She was silent but he knew that she was warming up to him with the way her head rested on his shoulders.
It was odd but he missed her annoying screams when he took her for a ride. Guilt had really eaten up his brain.
"Thank you, Gin-san," she said as she took the flowers from him. She patted his suit to remove some dust that had settled on his shoulder. The chocolates, she let him have them and he was certainly pleased by that. He even wanted to kiss her and stay with her tonight.
Maybe this time it would be different. Maybe their relationship had suffered the worst. Maybe she would stop wrecking his life and his mood. Why was he even wondering about these things? Why was he trying to make-up with her?
Gintoki thought of Mutsu's words. "Tell her and leave… or make it work." He couldn't tell her… But maybe he wanted to leave.
"Do you want to come inside, Gin-san?"
He looked up, startled by her invitation. "Yes."
He kissed her after closing the door. "Let's go to your room."
Sacchan nodded and let him carry her to her bed. She let him do whatever he wanted. She let him kiss her and touch her and undress her, leaving only her underwear.
He loved the small cottony clothing that barely covered her up. She wore white today, such an innocent image that didn't fit her at all but made him excited nonetheless. They grated against each other, only her panties between them. He could feel her heat, her dampness, her desire.
Gintoki licked her nipples, fascinated that every touch created a pleasing reaction from her. Her stomach was tense beneath his lips but her cries were definitely untroubled. He kissed his way down, planting a soft one at her center, driving her to gasp and pull at his hair.
Neither of them spoke even when he finally tore off her undies, teasing her, avoiding that special spot and only focusing on her inner thighs. He kept them rested on his shoulders as he anticipated her begging for more.
"Ohh, Gin-san, please, do it now."
"You're not mad at me anymore?"
"I… No, I can't stay angry with you. I miss you already."
He laughed. She was always so expressive. But he liked how much she needed him.
"W- What's so funny?"
"Nothing." Then he tasted her, smothering her with delight, but only until she had almost crossed the line.
"W- Why'd you stop? No… Gin-san, please…"
He straightened, keeping her thighs on his shoulders, opening her to him. "I'm here, Sacchan," he growled as he penetrated her with one, rapid thrust.
Her screams as she reached climax encouraged him further. He started pumping, harshly entering and pulling out, determined to keep her soaring. Gintoki knew her delicate state, she was certainly easier to pleasure after each time she reached her bliss.
Sacchan came again, and this time, Gintoki peaked with her. "I want more," he whispered in her ear when he had recovered. It was true, he still wanted her.
Yoshiwara felt different. But Gintoki knew that he was only fooling himself. It was he who had changed, not the place. Funny how in a week and a few days that he had been away, a lot happened.
He wanted so badly to continue to be with Tsukuyo, but his recent actions had reduced him into an undeserving lowlife cheat who should be damned for eternity. The moment she saw him, she would know that something was wrong. And she deserved to know the truth – she was that valuable to him. How could he just let things end this way just because he was horny and he let his wild and ridiculous ex-girlfriend get the better of him?
She had even been to Yoshiwara, that bitch, stalking him and his new love. What if she did something to Tsukuyo? What if she revealed everything to her before he could explain himself? Was there even a worthy explanation for his actions?
He was in another stupid, fucked-up situation. He wanted to obliterate last night… Forget it ever happened. Today, he immediately left the house before anyone he knew saw him, or worse, started a conversation about the noise he made.
This wasn't like him, or maybe it was, running away from things… Never facing his problems. Yep, it was definitely his doing.
He kissed Tsukuyo before they rode off to their training grounds, shamefully avoiding her eyes and not giving attention to her breasts, even once. They started with the swords immediately – she could now handle the real, deadly ones but still with the use of both hands. Gintoki was so distracted, thinking that she could see right through him, that Tsukuyo almost sliced his arm off.
"Gintoki!"
"Huh?"
"What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing! I'm fine."
"Why are you acting so odd?"
"I'm not! Haha… What are you talking about, Tsukuyo? You must be tired. Let's take a break."
"Okay…" She stared at him with narrowed eyes.
He sat back against the tree, closing his eyes. Tsukuyo's shadow suddenly loomed over him. "What-?"
She coughed and sat on his lap, blushing like there was no tomorrow. Then she kissed him, her arms winding around his neck.
He responded with pleasant surprise. She was amazing.
"What's going on with you, Gintoki? Tell me." Her eyes were intense and unforgiving.
He frowned, bracing himself to tell her everything. He would face the consequences as a man. What mattered was that he gave her what she deserved. The truth.
Suddenly, her eyes held an understanding, then she kissed him again, aggressively, her hands touching his body and sending shivers all over him. When she boldly slid off her top, exposing herself to him, his eyes widened with shock.
Tsukuyo pulled on his hair, guiding his lips to her breasts.
Gintoki groaned, sucking on her hungrily. She was magnificent… Tsukuyo was sensational. She was there for him, making him forget all his problems – not being one of them.
He would show Sacchan… She was wrong. Tsukuyo was the woman for him. They made each other better… and they balanced each other out.
He would make sure that every little piece of shit that came out of Sacchan's mouth was completely wrong.
"You don't have to love me, just stay with me. I'll make you happy."
"No, I can't do this anymore. I want to leave."
"Why? Why?"
He turned away. "I told you, I can't love you… I'm doing everything wrong." Nothing feels right about this.
And there's someone else.
Author's end note: Thank you for your reviews: Rylolli, new username? Yeah, I'm not really into Tsukuyo. I realized that I cringe every time she appears in the anime or manga. Glad that characterization in this story worked out somehow. I did want to emphasize the contrast between the two girls. kurasuchi, thank you, wow, I'm really surprised with the reactions to this fic. But it's fun to write this too! an. co. xx, it's probably cos of Sacchan hahaha. It's not gonna be easy for the three of them.