Kill the Lights

The star will shine.

And then it will fall.

And you will forget it all.

Chapter Four

My parents hadn't been as nosey as I imaged they would be with my new slight bit of a social life. As long as I continued the façade that I was always with Ali, who I barely even knew, and that she was someone from school, they saw no reason to not trust me. Since in their eyes I would never lie to them. Which as much as I wanted to feel bad and sad about, I didn't. The slight bit of guilt I had suffered from was gone now. Because deep down in my mind I didn't think what I was doing was completely wrong. Maybe not right. But for once, I felt like I was doing something I wanted to do. And it was such a refreshing feeling to feel.

Though Ali and I weren't close, we were well on our way. At school, the few friends I had didn't talk to me much anymore. Once word got out about me attending an unsupervised party, my classmates automatically considered me a sinner and whatever friendship was there was now gone. Which, again, I didn't really care. Maybe Eli's carefree attitude was rubbing off on me. Whatever it was, I was enjoying it.

I hung out with Ali pretty often, mostly on the weekends. I'd learned that she didn't have many friends, by choice though. She told me stories about how she use to be popular at the public school down the road from my private school. She told me how everyone knew her and everyone pretended to want to be friends with her. And she believed it, until one day a group of girls, who claimed to be her good friends, followed her into the bathroom and beat her up then took bottles of water and poured it all over her. The reason being was that they claimed she was a "bitch", even though she hadn't done anything to anyone. Then she went on to tell me about how Drew could hear her sobbing from outside of the girls bathroom. He rushed in to see what was wrong and that's how they met and it was "love at first sight", her words not mine. Ali was sweet though. I liked having her around, she didn't make me feel like such a "weirdo Jesus freak", as I'd grown to learn this was my reputation around town. I also had grown to realize that in most cases when Ali and I would hang out, Drew would show up, and occasionally Eli would be with him. And I definitely didn't mind "accidentally" seeing Eli.

"I love Oreos, they I'm beginning to think they fucking hate me." Ali muttered as she leaned back in her chair. We sat inside of The Dot Café and sipped on our coffees. This was the usual ritual on Saturdays for Ali and I.

"What makes you say that?" I asked her, as I twirled one of my curls.

"Well, I work out all the time! And Drew also gives me a workout…" Ali paused, seeing my grossed out face at her referring to her sex life, she chuckled then continued to speak, "But every time I eat one, it turns into like ten. And I somehow gain at least two pounds within that week." Ali sighed, as she crossed her arms over her low cut strapless pink dress.

"Have you ever thought of maybe not eating them then?" I suggested, Ali rolled her eyes playfully. "Clare. Have you ever tried an Oreo? They're like the best invention ever! Quitting cold turkey is definitely a no go." She said, I couldn't help but laugh at her logic.

"Next party I have, I'm definitely stocking up on those little fuckers." Ali thought aloud, I nodded, she was a definite talker. But I didn't mind it. "And this time if you and Eli want to sneak off and make out, you can totally use my room and not the hallway outside of the bathroom!" Ali exclaimed. Make out. Eli. What.

My eyes widened and about a million thoughts ran through my head. I had kissed Eli? That was a shock. But what was even more shocking was that I didn't remember. And he didn't tell me. Was it that bad of a kiss?

"W-what kiss?" I finally managed to asked, Ali looked at me, confused that I was confused. She thought I was joking. "Funny, Clare bear." Ali giggled, but when she saw the seriousness in my face she quickly stopped.

"Oh- oh my gosh. You really were drunk, weren't you?" Ali asked, I bit my lip and repeated my question. "What kiss, Ali?" I asked her.

Ali took a breath, "During my party, Eli walked you to the bathroom. Then once you came out, you two talked about….well, I don't know what….but then you two kissed." She explained, "Or well, I think made out maybe be a better definition." Ali shrugged, as if it was nothing.

I had made out with Eli Goldsworthy and I didn't even remember.

"Who told you about all of this?" I asked, trying not to jump up and down from excitement. Or pretend that I wasn't phased at all, which was hard.

Ali laughed, "Eli. Well indirectly. He won't stop talking to Drew about it."

Eli. And there it was. He'd known about it. And he didn't even tell me. I didn't know if I was insulted or just pissed. But I wanted answers from Eli.

"Why didn't he tell me?" I finally asked, giving up a little. Ali could see the sadness in my eyes. "Sweetie pie, Eli is a total weirdo when it comes to emotions." She explained, "He probably didn't want to talk to you about it, because as much as he probably won't admit to it, he totally digs you." Ali said, either she was really trying to make me feel better by telling me Eli Goldsworthy liked me or maybe he really did. "The way he looks at you! Oh my gosh! He's so into you. Maybe no one else sees it, but I do. And I'm fucking awesome when it comes to this type of thing!" Ali gushed. I fought back the urge to smile. Eli. I needed to talk to him. Pronto.

"Do you know where he is right now?" I asked Ali.

"Eli? Um, probably at the Ravine with Drew." Ali murmured. I didn't even have the urge to ask what the Ravine was. I was too consumed with confronting Eli.

I paused, "Where is this Ravine place?" I asked, Ali's eyes looked down.

"Clare, cutie, the Ravine is definitely not a place where you should be. Hell, I don't even like being there." Ali said, I rolled my eyes slightly.

"Ali, please…I just really need to talk to Eli about this whole thing." I said, desperately. Ali sighed, "Fine…but we're only going to talk to Eli then get the hell out of there. I hate it there!" Ali expressed, I nodded.

Ali was right about the Ravine. It definitely wasn't my scene. It was a small area beside a dirty lake. Other than there being far too many people for the size of the land, it smelled bad. And most of the people there were either grungy boys or slutty girls. Let's just say I stayed close to Ali.

"Have you seen Eli?" Ali asked some guy who looked as though he hadn't ever heard of the razor. He pointed to an area behind some trees. Ali grabbed my hand and pulled me there, as we walked many people stared at me. And not one of those stares was friendly.

When we got to the area, I didn't see Eli. Only Drew and a couple other boys.

"Hey baby. What is Clare doing here?" Drew asked Ali, the second part he tried to whisper, but his whisper skills sucked.

"She needed to talk to Eli about something." Ali explained.

"Where is he?" I asked Drew. Drew bit his lip for a moment, looking as though he didn't want to tell me. But Ali was looking at him now, too.

"Uh…." Drew muttered, finally one of the other boys answered my question.

"Eli's over there, behind the trees." The boy pointed to a woodsy area. Why was Eli in the woods? That was my first question. But before I could even think logically I pushed past the tall grass and people to the woods.

And once I found him, I really wished I hadn't even suggested coming to the Ravine. There Eli was laying down in the grass, without a shirt, with some curly dark haired girl laying on top of him in a bra and short shorts.

I bit my lip, I wanted to cry, I wanted to puke. All at once.

The dark haired girl pulled her lips away from his and looked at me. She was terribly pretty, which made me dislike her even more.

"Can I fucking help you?" She snapped, rudely. Eli glanced up and saw me, his eyes widened and he quickly sat up, pushing the girl off.

"Clare. What the hell are you doing here?" He asked, his tone was a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"Clare Edwards? The daughter of Pastor Edwards?" The curly haired girl asked, Eli ignored her.

I couldn't speak. I tried, but no sound came out. I just turned and quickly ran off. I didn't know where I was running but all I knew was that Eli didn't chase after me. And that's what hurt me the most.

I didn't run too far away from the Ravine. But I was in the woods alone. And all I could do was cry and wish I had never even met Eli Goldsworthy.

After what felt to be an hour or more, I finally made my way back to the Ravine. Most of the people had left.

"Um, have you seen Ali?" I asked some blonde girl whose lipstick was smeared everywhere on her face. She shook her head.

I sighed and walked back to the area where Drew was, no one was there. I even checked Eli's secret spot of disgust – empty.

I bit my lip, freaking out a little. Before I could gather my composure, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" I turned to see a boy with dark skin. He was one of the boys from the church. I took a deep breath.

"Uh, I guess…I just – all of my friends left and I don't remember the way to get back." I admitted, looking down.

"That's not good….well, my friend and I were going to go back to The Dot in a little while. Do you want to hang out with us until then?" He asked, carefully. I bit my lip. I probably should've said no. But he was friends with Eli, and even though I hated Eli right now, his friends didn't seem like terrible people.

"…Okay." I agreed, the boy smiled and I followed him to a grassy area. When we got there I only saw the dark curly haired girl from before. I held my breath and sat down, trying not to look at her. It was only her and him. It was awkward. The boy sat down, too.

"Um, so…" I finally said, the girl smiled at me. And not in a vicious manner.

"I'm really sorry about earlier, Clare, right?" She asked, I nodded. "I definitely didn't mean for you to see that….or to snap at you. I can be a total bitch sometimes." She told me, as much as I wanted to ignore her and continued to hate her, I couldn't. She seemed se sincere. And she probably didn't even know that Eli and I had kissed. She probably didn't even know I existed until now either.

"…It's not your fault. I'm sorry for interrupting." I said softly, the curly haired girl smiled.

"No hard feelings." She said, "I'm Bianca, by the way." She said, I smiled at her. She seemed like a good person.

"So, now that all of that is over with, let's have some actual fun." The boy finally said, Bianca rolled her eyes.

"Fine, Dallas." Bianca said with a laugh. Dallas handed her a small white pill, she plopped it into her mouth and swallowed it. He then handed me one, I shook my head.

"No thanks, I don't do drugs." I said, Dallas laughed. Bianca looked at me.

"Come on, Clare, it's not that bad, I swear to you! I don't do heavy drugs at all, just this. It relaxes you. And it wears off quickly." Bianca said, I considered, "Besides, I'll watch out for you, nothing will get out of hand." She said, and I believed.

I took the pill.

Dear God, I really wished I hadn't.

-Dramatic music-

What will happen? O:

I apologize this chapter was a little rushed. But I only had a short bit of time.

I'll posted super soon! The reason for the delay was I had a bad writer's block. But I'm good now. (:

Reviews? Thank you beautifuls!